Witness

I’ve had some interesting conversations since my last post. Friends felt I had left them hanging in suspense. “Well, what did you say to the people who came to you with difficult situations; did you in effect judge them?” They felt like I led them along with a story, but didn’t reveal the ending. I had to laugh; I told them it was a story where you write the ending.

I don’t think they thought that was very funny. And so I’ll convey some of the further conversations we had and my further thoughts on the matter. But first I have to start at the beginning, back to basics.

A human being starts out as a baby, who learns a human language, first the basics and then the details. First it learns by hearing and copying, and what it learns seems to make sense, based on the feedback it gets. Crying sometimes resulted in hugs, and sometimes food. A lot of different things brought a smile from mama. Then the baby learned that “mama” brought the smile every time, and “hungry” got food. It later learned that A + B + C + etc. equals an alphabet. Then it learned that the alphabet made words, and words may sentences and paragraphs that explained thoughts and ideas. Later it learned the formal rules of the language, nouns, pronouns, adjectives, verb tenses, etc. In adulthood it made good use of all these things to communicate – that was the purpose of learning the human language.

A very wise priest, sociologist, speaker, and writer, Fr. Benedict Groeschel, explained in one of his books how men grow in human wisdom. It is a totally natural thing, the collective experiences of a life coming together in the brain which analyzes them, perhaps gathers additional information, and puts it all together in a pattern that makes something more than just the pieces, it equals wisdom. The more you live, the more wisdom you can gain – although not necessarily, because you have to work at it. The same holds true, he explained, with spiritual growth and wisdom. You learn basics of a religion, then you learn how it all fits together into a comprehensive belief system, and then you relate it to earthly experiences and earthly wisdom – with input from God and His Holy Spirit -- and you put it all together into a spiritual wisdom. Like earthly wisdom, it comes with time. Unlike earthly language, which is developed by the young to make use of in adulthood, spiritual wisdom is developed to make use of in spiritual adulthood, which really doesn’t happen until our earthly death. Just like young people must grow in their language knowledge to be good fully functioning adults, so we must grow in our spiritual knowledge to become good fully functioning beings after our earthly death. Fr. Groeschel explained this progression as a comfort to him when he visited churches and saw lots of old people in them: this was a perfectly normal thing. They are the ones who better understood what was happening in the churches and why it was important; they were growing in their knowledge of it their whole lives and had a wisdom which largely could not be found in youth. Only with great study, tutoring, and blessing from God do the very young appreciate the purpose and value of faith. But they will grow into it. Hopefully.

This explains the phrase that “we are all called to grow in holiness”, because we are, our whole lives. Unfortunately, while we MAY grow in spiritual wisdom our whole lives, there are many temptations to grow in earthly wisdom first, and these often push out our desire for the longer-term spiritual growth. I think one of the greatest temptations Satan came up with was: “You can have it now.” He said it to Eve in the Garden of Eden, and he says it to us now in so many ways. “You can have it now.” He even tried to tempt Jesus with this very earthly, human desire. Just like the baby felt, I want it now. The concept of deferred gratification is one of the most difficult ones to accept about Christianity; it runs counter to man’s whole nature and learning from the time of being a baby: “If I say I’m hungry, I’ll get the food now. If I call ‘Mama’, I’ll get the hug now.” It’s very hard to overcome this basic learning with the teachings of Christ. It’s also why, in part, the call to grow in holiness our whole life is so important; it acts as a constant reinforcement against the constant temptations of “I want it now.”

Just this morning a friend spoke of a local priest who “was running some type of religious education program every night at the church.” My friend spoke of these “mini RCIA programs” negatively. I think he felt that way because he could not attend them; he had too many other “important” things to do. The important things had to do with his job, his marriage and family, and even the formal RCIA program he helped run. All these earthly, short term things he was concerned about seemed more important than the longer term programs which, without saying it, he felt he would get to “later”. This call to grow in holiness our whole lives is a hard thing.

When my friends challenged me about my last post, and my response to the difficult questions posed, they were thinking about the short-term problems faced by many people, versus the long-term goals. And they want a short-term answer. I’m reminded about the saying that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter heaven. Rich is usually thought of here in terms of money, but I think the saying also refers to those rich in talents or human wisdom. This saying goes along with the parable of the talents, where much is expected of those to whom much is given. People rich in money or talents or wisdom are used to having their way. They’re used to figuring things out. They’re used to giving orders and getting things done – NOW. They’re used to short-term goals and actions and results. This concept of “deferred gratification” is contrary to the way they structure their whole human life. That’s why it is hard for the rich man to get into heaven, it’s hard for him to properly prioritize his short-term and long-term goals. He’s used to doing and deciding things, and not playing by anyone’s rules but his own – and sometimes not even by the Church’s or even God’s.

So what WAS my response when my friends explained to me their problems and their short-term fixes to the short-term/long-term conflicts? I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember. I know there was discussion, and I “think” they went away with something to think about, but I don’t remember. And what I said is not important.

I’ve explained before the purpose of this blog. It’s not here to teach Catholic Doctrine, although I strongly believe it (I can refer you to some great sites, if you ask). It’s not here to tell the story of my life, although some of my life’s events must be mentioned to explain my thoughts about matters of faith. If I should ever explain something in a manner contrary to Catholic Doctrine, I would ask any reader to post a comment and explain your concern. I will research, respond, and rescind where I am wrong. But mostly I write these blogs to describe how I believe God is working in my life, how I am trying to grow in holiness. I write to explain how difficult that sometimes is, so that you may recognize that you are not alone in your journey, whether you are just starting or are far along. If just starting, I can explain some of my troubles, thoughts, and learnings as I traveled the road you are embarking upon. If further along your faith journey, hold my hand and we’ll face storms together. And if you are further along than I, please look back at my stupidity and my fears, and offer me comfort. We are all on this journey together, and Jesus is along too: we need not be anxious.

My blog “Do Not Be Anxious” fits well with my prayers to “Make me an instrument of Thy peace.” We are all anxious at some time, and we all need peace. Now, and in eternity. For my friends who want short, quick answers to large long-term problems, AS I SO OFTEN DO, I can only offer some words about priorities. I have studied the Catholic faith long and hard, and have always found it to be true to the teachings of Jesus Christ and true to its long-term goal: to get me to heaven. When faced with life situations which would seem to have me turn against my friends, I am reminded of the teaching that we may be expected to turn against friends and family, and that the true response to many of life’s immediate problems is: “This is a hard thing.” We won’t like the answers, and our friends may not either. We may lose some friends, and even family, along the way. But none of that is an excuse for not continuing along the way.

Yes, it is true that Jesus is love, and he taught love. And it is also true he ate with and spent most of his time with sinners. But he didn’t just live with them, and approve of their lifestyles, he lived a Godly life. What he couldn’t explain to them to resolve their human needs for a “short-term” fix, he showed to them by how he lived. The divorced friends who remarry, the homosexual “good” man, the people who think the church doesn’t understand what Jesus taught: you will convert none of these people with your words. Don’t try to be friends with them by accepting what they say or teach, be friends in just the manner in which you say Jesus taught: be friends to them in love. Love doesn’t take what others give; love gives to others without looking for anything in return. What Jesus couldn’t explain to sinners in words, he showed to them in his actions. God and His grace did the rest. Jesus didn’t come as a God to convert sinners, zapping them into belief, he came as a man. He converted them just as you can. And in being their friend, he did not have to tell them that their sins and errors were ok. Accepting that their sins exist is not agreeing with them on the morality of their sins. Being friends with sinners is ok, but not at the expense of your own soul. Be careful of who is converting who.

You are called to grow in holiness. Seek to grow in spiritual wisdom your whole life. Find the time!! In this way, you will truly be a friend to those people in your life who NEED you to be a true friend, one who will help them to grow in holiness. This is what love is.