tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7332117297336636395.post3549843875216845012..comments2023-11-22T11:42:06.780-05:00Comments on Do Not Be Anxious: Review: Being MortalDo Not Be Anxioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04607616214486933423noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7332117297336636395.post-41702236615387923012015-09-23T15:31:08.903-04:002015-09-23T15:31:08.903-04:00Fran, in the years we've communicated I've...Fran, in the years we've communicated I've come to know what a caring person you are, and yet another blessing in my life.<br /><br />I just finished a two-day offsite meeting with the board and lead administrators of the organization I joined which cares for the developmentally disabled. While there, one of the biggest problems we discussed --- and devised new plans for --- was the recruitment and retention of truly caring individuals, for the people in our charge. I learned how hard it is to find these types of people, especially in the younger generation, which is so "me"- focused. One of the areas we are going to focus our recruiting on is former caregivers, whose loved ones have passed --- these people have demonstrated their caring, and are the type of people we so desperately need (while this organization cares for about 90 people, it has over 100 who have been on a waiting list over 25 years!) Do Not Be Anxioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04607616214486933423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7332117297336636395.post-90724552893325436152015-09-22T15:00:14.130-04:002015-09-22T15:00:14.130-04:00I haven't been by for a while, and so have to ...I haven't been by for a while, and so have to catch up on reading here....<br />I really like this post. In my own circumstances, I made sure my parents had control over their own lives as much as they were able in spite of their diminished capabilities, even when it was a great inconvenience to me. I knew "helping" them meant helping, not taking over or controlling what they did. When some aspect of their lives did reach the point I had to take control, I did so knowing what they preferred, and tried to keep things as they would want them, not to suit myself. If I had to make a change, I asked them if it was okay, and told them why we had to change something. Most of the time they were very congenial about it. If not, we discussed it until they saw I was right. :-) :-) Not really. Actually, many things that would have been better did not happen because they did not want it, such as having an outdoor elevator installed at their home, or buying a handicapped van. So, rather than override them, we struggled. But them having self determination was more important to me than my convenience.<br />Recently I was speaking to one of my brothers who was not at all involved in their care. I told him it wasn't until after my dad died (at that point taking care of them for 7 years) that my mom allowed me to sign checks. She had been disabled with a severe stroke for those seven years. During that time I prepared the checks to pay the bills, but would have one or the other of them sign them, because they were still able. It was a big pain in the *dupa* to do so, but I realized it gave them a sense they were still in control of their own lives. My brother was shocked. Very shocked. Because he is the sort that would have taken over and forced changes such as taking control of their bank accounts and not even noticed he was steamrolling over them. He would have done what was convenient for him regardless of the effects on them, treating them as incompetent children.<br />I ask myself, what is caretaking? What is the first principle? My answer: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I asked myself, what would I hope for if I fell ill and could not help myself? How would I want to be treated in my own home? The answer was clear.<br />I often wondered why nursing homes and assisted living facilities didn't build right next to schools. I thought about how the kids would have instant after school care, and how they would benefit from doing crafts and homework with old folks acting as grandpa's and grandma's, or even sitting and talking together on a bench in the sunshine. I thought about how the older folks would enjoy watching and hearing the kids at play. It never occurred to me the reason old people are locked up isolated in facilities was because of an emphasis on safety and lawsuits. Very illuminating.<br />Tom, God has prepared you well for the role He is leading you into. Interesting how when we turn our lives over to Him, in hindsight we find He was preparing us to serve even as we were unaware of being trained. And funny how true the saying, in losing our own lives, we find our life.<br />God bless. ~ Fran<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com