Do Not Be Anxious

Sin: You Just Don't Understand!

2012-02-11T10:29:00.002-05:00

While driving the two hours to visit my friend in the hospital, the local radio talk droned on about the Superbowl ads and election promises (borrrrrinnng) and so I turned on the CD “Awesome God”. It is a lively collection of songs as sung at Franciscan University’s summer conferences. The music and words, coupled with my somber mission, set the mood of my heart, and even as I joined in singing praises to God, I reflected on my last post here, and thought that many of us, myself included, can easily praise God, even as we sin. And then I thought: How can this be?

I thought about the recent liberal newspaper commentary: “Most Catholics practice contraception anyway; a law now saying they must pay for it will be no big thing to them.” And I am sure this might be true for many Catholics, but why? I needed a deeper understanding.

Oh I know why those who don’t care about Catholic teaching would pass such laws. They see that some Catholics question whether something is a sin, like contraception, sterilization, or abortion, and they say “Let’s codify a permissibility for that into law; let’s ease the conscience of Catholics that these things are sin” --- but they don’t do this to help Catholics. For they then move on to the next thing that “some Catholics” question as sin, and legalize that also. Soon, they’ll turn all sins into good things in the law. They’ll outlaw sin, and the Catholic Church. They’ll show Christians they needed no Savior to forgive their sins; “We’ll forgive them!”

Such is the mindset of those who will pass laws against the teachings of the Catholic Church, against the revelation of God, on what sin is.

And many Catholics will step by step, law by law, think that this is no big thing. But, why is that? Why don’t they stand up for the Church? I think it has to do with our understanding (or lack of understanding) of sin, and the Church’s explanation. I don’t think we know what sin is. It is not just a “teaching” of the Church. Nor is sin something we can reason over and come to understand, to justify the evil of sin in our mind by our understanding of it --- or justify the good of some “claimed” sins by our logic. But that is where the answer to my question “Why do some Catholics think some sin is no big thing” begins. Some Catholics seek to justify standing up to the Church, and God, by saying: “That doesn’t logically make sense to me, that this thing is a sin.” They rate their understanding over the Church’s understanding, but they don’t see the real picture of what sin is.

I think the easiest way to see the impact of this kind of thinking is by looking at a similar situation we are all likely to have faced: when our spouse or child misunderstands the intention of our words or actions.

It has happened to me (let’s just say more than once) that I say or do something and then look at my spouse and see in response “The Look”. You know what I mean. It’s the look that SCREAMS at you: “WHAT!!!!!!!!!” --- without ever saying a word. It’s the look that tells you that you’ve said or done something wrong, big time. And you better not ignore it. It’s the look that says there is a good possibility that someone will be sleeping in the doghouse tonight or, if the look came from your child, there will soon be a very loud slamming of their bedroom door.

How you respond to “The Look” is critical.

There are only two responses to “The Look”. The first response is an instinctive one. It is short, like: “What?” or the longer version, where we seek to clarify our statement or action by saying “Let me explain to you what I said or did which seems to have made you mad, and why it is no big deal. Logically, you should not be upset over this.” Either of these responses just worsens the situation, and is likely to be met by words explaining “The Look” further, words like: “Oh!! You just don’t understand.” And this then is usually followed by tears, or said slamming of the bedroom door.

To receive “The Look” is no small thing, and seeking to minimize the other’s hurt by saying “I didn’t mean it” or “You don’t understand” does not ease the hurt. It’s saying to the one hurting: “I did something, but you’re the one who is wrong.” But pain is a very real thing. You cannot explain to someone that they do not hurt. They do.

This is why the second alternative response to “The Look” is the better one. In this case, upon seeing “The Look” you respond with “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you.” (Note: preceding this response with “I don’t know what I did wrong, but …” negates its value.)

The difference between the two responses to “The Look” is that one seeks to justify our actions, applying OUR logic or reasoning to explain them, while the second humbly admits (while we may think what we did was logical) that we won’t do that again, because we know it hurts the one we love.

We avoid actions which hurt the ones we love, even if we don’t understand fully why the actions cause this hurt.

Sin causes God to give us “The Look”.

Seeking to justify our sins or trying to explain how logically they aren’t a bad thing is, in effect, explaining to God why He is wrong. Looking at sin this way, does that sound like a logical thing to do? Yet that is what those seeking to justify contraception or sterilization or abortion are attempting to do, explain to God why this should not be a sin. A far better thing to do is the second alternative above, if we should fall into such sins: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt You. I love You.” Then (and only then) if our logical minds still wish to try to understand WHY God is hurt by these sins, then it is up to US to research Church teachings on these matters, Church documents, the writing of the saints, and yes, even prayer, asking God to help us understand His mind ---- or recognizing the futility of such a prayer, praying for the grace to be able to accept His will. Thy will, not mine, be done, Oh Lord.

Even if I don’t understand.

Unappreciated Blessings

2012-02-08T13:16:00.004-05:00

I complained bitterly about the blister on my toe, until I saw the smiling man who had no legs.

This past week I received a reminder of just how blessed I am. It was in the form of a note from a man I recently met, wherein he thanked me for some trifle I had done for him, and I realized that to him it was no trifling thing; it was a blessing.

Me? Bestowing blessings on people? Yes, I realized, even me. God could use me, even as He has used so many little unimportant people in the past. And at least in this instance He used me not for some great miraculous thing that the world would notice and be written about as the saints’ miracles are remembered, but instead He used me for some simple task, noticed only by one man. But yet, even in this small thing, I had done His will. How often had I done things like this in the past, and never been aware of the? And how often have blessings like this been bestowed upon me, perhaps even at some great price to the giver, and yet I was unaware, and unappreciative? How often has God watched over me, and I took His love for granted?

I was thinking of the note I received and the many blessings God has given me in my life as our priest began his sermon this past Sunday. He spoke about some blessings our Church has had, and which perhaps may not be taken away. Were they too unappreciated blessings, I wondered?

Our pastor, Fr. Ed. Fride, noted how new laws (dictates, really) from our government were requiring that we must change our Catholic beliefs, noting that we have a year to get used to the idea. He quipped that “it will be a cold in …” before that happened. (You can listen to his sermon on podcast here:) He expounded on some of the changes, to the hospitals and Catholic schools we support with our donations. In the nearby Catholic high school, where we pay teachers to explain what sin is to our children, we will now be required to pay for those same teachers to sin. How can what they say matter to our children when the opposite is flaunted in what they do? It will make it illegal to teach our children our Catholic faith without first publically ridiculing that teaching, even as it is done in other countries where Catholics are being ridiculed --- and killed.

Fr Ed went on to tell us how military chaplains were ordered not to preach just what he was preaching today, and some were ordered not to read biblical passages where homosexual actions are called sinful. He asked for prayers for our military chaplains, even as he called on us to be better evangelists and defenders of our faith, to better live our faith in this increasingly faithless society.

And I thought about all the ways in which I am blessed, and fail to give thanks to God for those blessings. His love and His blessings I just take for granted as if they will always be there. Like the Prodigal Son, I just spend His riches, as if the money and blessings will never run out. And His never will, but they may be taken away from us.

And I realized one thing further. This government, “our” government, which is giving us a year to get used to the idea of publicly supporting what God has revealed as sin, isn’t speaking to many of us. For many “Catholics,” in their hearts, might already agree with the government’s dictate. Like from Satan in the Garden, words they hear seem to say: “I know He said this is wrong, but it is no big thing. Trust me. You won’t die if you eat of this tree.”

“Trust me.” Jesus said those words, too.

I realized this Sunday that in my own heart I have often listened to, trusted, Satan. Some of the very sins the government is making light of, I myself committed. How many, many other Catholics have also done so, and will now receive the government’s blessings, and forgiveness, with relief? How many are hearing that this new law is no big thing. “Trust me. You won’t die.”

You won’t die. The Church’s teaching on the value of life and the sanctity and purpose of marriage, God’s values and purposes, are being ridiculed as unimportant or wrong. The teachings of the Church which we never really took the time to understand, unappreciated blessings, are being taken away from us --- and from our children. We were taught marriage is a good thing, a sacrament, but our kids will be and are being taught that sin is a good thing. They are being taught “Not God’s will, but MY will be done.” They are being taught that no longer “In God” do we trust.

Only we can change this. There are many petitions, letters to congressmen, and prayer vigils about. Look for them and DO something, while you still can.

And as I received Communion, I heart this hymn:

So here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that You’re my God. And You’re all together lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me.

So many unappreciated blessings.

Review: Medjugorje --- What's Happening?

2012-02-01T11:20:00.003-05:00

To be honest, I picked this book up more for the pictures than the words. A quick glance through the copy at the bookstore and I saw pictures of the original visionaries there as I saw and met them in 1987, when I visited this site of my “re-version” to my Catholic faith. I believe I have written about that trip here before, but in short I was far from a practicing and believing Catholic when I felt called to travel to this little village halfway across the world. But that visit changed my world.

Besides the beautiful pictures and memories, the first third of this book is a detailed re-cap of the events of that village, the messages said to come from Mary to 5 young children – now adults, and all the various positive events/experiences and the negative experiences/commentaries. As with all on-going supposed apparitions or visions, the Church will withhold its approval or denial of the likely truth of the matter until the visions have ended, but many prominent theologians and cardinals have spoken positively about Medjugorje, including Mgr Rene Laurentin, Cardinal Hans Urs von Balthasar, and many others. They and others note: Medjugorje is unprecedented. Over 50,000 priests have visited this out-of-the-way village, and many millions of pilgrims. Dozens of priests routinely sit outside the church, hearing thousands of confessions. It is an amazing place. The next section of the book described other apparitions, like Fatima, and events surrounding them, and compared them to Medjugorje. The book then moved onto the visionaries as they live their lives today, still seeing Mary periodically, as she promised them.

The chapters which contain excerpts from the supposed words of Mary I found to be valuable reminders to me, such as “Suffering is to be lived in our souls and in our hearts.” Living close to and speaking with those undergoing the pains (and questions) of suffering, the gentle words describing their value were a great consolation for me. And then there were many touching words of the visionaries themselves, such as these from Ivanka Ivankovic:

“From 1985 to today I received the apparition once every year on June 25. But at the last daily apparition I was given the greatest gift, not just for myself but for the entire world. And because every single human being is asking, ‘Is there a life after this life on earth?’ I am standing before you here today. I am standing before the entire world and I can easily answer that question. Yes, there is a life after this life, because by God and Our Lady I was given this great grace, that I was able to see my late mother during that apparition time and my mom told me: ‘My dearest child, I’m proud of you.’”

The sections on Mary’s words about prayer, and the visionaries own prayer lives were encouraging. There is nothing that can unite the family like when you pray together. The calls for fasting, especially on Wednesdays and Fridays -- an ancient Church practice, opened the door to things we can do to make a difference, even in this world today. Dear children, with prayer and fasting, you can achieve anything, you can even stop wars. Mary’s call for regular confession and reception of the Eucharist seemed to be an anchor of truth for me, when I had visited that village, beyond the miracles so many witnessed --- including my sister. And then there were the words of the visionaries, like Jacov, who minimized the miracles occurring at Medjugorje by saying: “We do not realize what simply is the greatest miracle for every Christian, that if we talk about signs, what are signs? I believe that every single one of us is a sign of the Lord. Every neighbor of yours is a sign.” In speaking about the millions of pilgrims who have visited this small village he says: “In Medjugorje one should come for one reason, and that is our conversion, to change our lives here, to start a new life, a new life together with Our Lord and Our Lady. But the most important thing is to bring prayer into our families, into our communities, and remember one thing. The true pilgrimage starts when you go back home.”

It did for me.

There are many skeptics of the visions of Medjugorje, and I liked the story of one in particular, an Italian journalist named Paolo Gambi, who had ridiculed the supposed apparitions in the press for years. In 2010, he visited the site for the first time. “Call me unskilled or incompetent if you will, but when I try to describe what I have found inside me since my visit to the town I cannot find the words. Driven by a somewhat cynical curiosity I went to Medjugorje with a friend. Before my visit I found it difficult to believe that Our Lady had been continually speaking for almost thirty years in such a peripheral place. What’s more, I could not accept that Mary would be appearing on earth again to share some secrets about trials humanity will face in the future. I confess I still find these things very hard to grasp rationally. Medjugorje is completely illogical, if you look at it in a purely rationalistic way.” But then he visited, looked, heard, and prayed, and “cried without reason while I was praying in the parish church.”

“I listened to the visionary Mirjana witnessing to her experience and I realized that some of the words she was saying from the balcony of her tiny house in front of about a hundred people were spoken directly to me. When I listened to one of Mary’s messages, I realized the words spoke directly to my heart, giving me the solution to a problem I was carrying around like a heavy burden. Many of you are probably thinking: he is pathetic. That is what I used to think whenever I bumped into one of the many Medjugorje devotees. Reason cannot grasp this phenomenon --- at least mine can’t. Reason is inclined to say that Medjugorje relies on coincidence, autosuggestion, and emotionalism. But these explanations no longer satisfy me. If you have experienced what I experienced, you would understand why. In fact, the point of my trip to Medjugorje has been precisely this: to discover that there is a mysterious spiritual dimension that is so far beyond our understanding that it cannot be limited by our mind. So the only words that can be useful are these: ‘Come and see.’ In Medjogorje a new world could be unveiled inside you. At least, that is what has happened to me.”

And that is what happened to me. This is a very balanced book about the events of Medjugorje, but like Paolo Gambi, I can’t really describe adequately my feelings. But unlike hundreds of other books I have read and given away, this one will always remain on my shelf.

Review: Christian Faith & Human Understanding

2012-01-28T10:53:00.002-05:00

The book Christian Faith & Human Understanding is a grouping of nineteen speeches and essays, selected by the well-known philosopher Msgr. Robert Sokolowski, professor at the Catholic University of America. The book may be a difficult read for many Catholics who don’t understand much beyond the two great commandments of love God and neighbor, but for more questioning Catholics it provides some thought-provoking and clearing explanations of Catholic thought, helping us understand WHY we believe what we believe, and how to explain our belief to others. (This is always a vexing thing for me, when Catholics voice their “feelings” about some Church teachings or practices, without ever making any attempt to understand WHY those teachings or practices exist, and surprisingly it seems that some of the worst complainers are among the most intelligent of people, who have every opportunity to learn the truth of things.)

The book’s chapters are grouped into four main headings. Faith and Reason clarifies the distinction between God and the world and discusses the place of philosophy in the Christian faith. The Eucharist and the Holy Trinity section includes discussions on phenomenology, transubstantiation, and the role of the bishop. The third section, The Human Person, is the one I found the most interesting. “A theme pervading this section is the claim that things have their own natures and ends, that is, they have their own intelligibilities, which must be respected by human action, science, and philosophy, and which must not be undermined by religious belief.” Faith and Practical Reasoning, the fourth section, considers how faith can shape reason, and explores the implications of faith and reason in academic life and seminary programs.

I found something new or presented in a new way in most chapters (things I underline in the book), but I found a few things (my double or triple hash-marks in the margins) which caused me to stop and meditate, trying to understand their meaning for me and how I live my life. This is a book to be read in peace and quiet, in a chapel or alone in an easy chair. It is not one which can be read while caring for another (like my mom) or with the television or music on in the background. Given those caveats, I recommend this book for the serious Catholic; it is a wonderful grouping of articles to make you think.

That said, I’ll give you some excerpts, examples of my hash-marked items.

“The flowering of our reason requires the intervention of others; it does not occur by itself. It is not like the growth of our muscles and bones. … By knowing what we cannot grasp on our own – by knowing what we believe, and seeing that we can possess it only by believing it – we become much more aware of what we do know on our own. We become much more aware of and confident in our reason precisely in contrast with our faith. Faith justifies our reason.”

“For Christian understanding, the world exists “contingently,” and it exists as the outcome of a choice made by God.”

“In the Politics Aristotle describes political society as the culmination of human communities. In cities, he says, there are two irreducible parts, the wealthy and the poor, and the shape that political life takes on results from the perennial struggle between these two groups to rule over the whole. When the wealthy rule for their own benefit, the city is an oligarchy; when the poor rule for their own benefit, the city is literally a democracy, a rule by the people or the many, since there normally are more poorer than wealthier members of society. Aristotle says that the best outcome for most people in most places at most times, the practically best form of the city generally, is the republic, the politeia, which is intermediate between oligarchy and democracy. In a republic, a large middle class – middle in both an economic and an ethical sense – is established between the rich and the poor, and the laws and not men rule, and they do so for the benefit of the whole city, not for any particular part.”

“Not everyone is able to distinguish the end from the purpose. There are at least four types of people who are impeded from distinguishing them: the impulsive, the obtuse, the immature, and the vicious. Aristotle says that a young man, because of his impulsiveness and lack of experience, is not an appropriate hearer of lectures on political matters. … Second, we may have become adult enough to establish distinct purposes and to determine steps that lead to them, but we may still be unable to appreciate the presence of other people with their purposes. We permit entry into our awareness only of what we want. We remain unable to see that other people have their viewpoints and needs, that we are not the only agents involved in our situations. To fail to be “objective” in this way is to be what I would like to call “morally obtuse” as opposed to being vicious. … His consciousness does not expand enough to include the perspectives of others, even though he is able to distinguish means and purposes in his own case.”

“To the question “What is natural law?” one can answer very simply: “Natural law is the ontological priority of ends over purposes.” Natural law is shown to us when we recognize that there are ends in things and that our purposes and choices must respect their priority. … For example, the ends built into human nourishment must be seen to govern the way we eat, and the ends built into human sexuality must be seen to govern the way we live with our sexuality. In both of these powers, we ought not to be governed by what we simply want and the purposes we set for ourselves; we must differentiate between what we want and the reality and the telos of the thing we are dealing with.”

“There is one very significant distinction that very much needs to be made in our present situation, both in the Church and in society…. It is the distinction between thinking and speaking rhetorically and thinking and speaking philosophically. Far too much discourse is simply rhetorical, even when the speakers pretend to be giving an analysis. Far too often people think they are presenting the truth of things, or they pretend to be presenting the truth of things, when they really are arguing, and arguing rather emotionally, for their own point of view. The very grasp of this distinction is a tremendously important thing. … It gives us hope that there is something like the truth of things that can rescue us in a complicated and confusing situation.”

Have I confused you enough? I hope not. Not everything that is ultimately very simple, can be explained simply. It becomes simple only when we understand all the facts and implications, and meditate on them, until our heart sees their beauty.

I found some things of beauty in this book.

Moving On

2012-01-25T15:28:00.003-05:00

You are our hope and our strength, in You we trust --- may we never despair.
From the Intercessions of Week III, Liturgy of the Hours

My friend is finally out of the hospital (and ICU) where she has resided for nearly two months, finally moving to a specialty hospital near her home for further recovery.

Perhaps.

She still breathes with mechanical assistance, and is nourished through a feeding tube. The specialty hospital is to strengthen her and wean her from these assists, and hopefully begin her walking again. I saw some of the hospital staff plying their skills this first full day there, as they sat my friend up on the edge of the bed and her feet (at long last) touched the floor again --- and it felt strange and scary to her at first, but then she smiled. Progress!

I’ve written before about how our life’s journey is like floating down a stream, toward the ocean of God’s eternal love. Sometimes we float slowly and seem to make no progress and sometimes changes happen so rapidly we can’t catch our breath. Sometimes we find a comfortable place along the shore, and wish we could never leave, but we must. Sometimes the smooth waters become as rapids, and we bounce from rock to rock, and they hurt and we are fearful. Will the pain never end? And sometimes it seems like we are stuck on an island, and life passes us by, and as the months and years continue unchanging we think we’ll never be happy again, always alone, stranded while others go by happy in the current of their lives.

But even as Jesus rescued mankind a couple of thousand years ago, He rescues individuals even today. He said: “I’ll always be with you.” He meant He’d always be with YOU, whenever you need Him. In your trials, in your fears He will be with you, perhaps to work miracles to end your pains and fears --- He can, you know --- or perhaps just to be present to hold your hand, as I did today with my friend.

The fears of today become the memories of yesterday, only a strange thing happens in the transition. Just as Jesus helped us bear our pains, He helps us bear our memories. Unless we really want to cling to them, He makes them fade, like old photographs. The pains don’t hurt as much, and we don’t recall them as often. And life goes on, moving on down the stream. And as long as we remain in this life, we can look forward to the ocean of heaven which lies ahead.

When we get caught on the rocks and pains of this life, it’s easy to forget in the moment where we’re going. It’s like we’re headed West toward the Pacific Ocean, but when we’re lost in St. Louis and about to crash into the Arch, we’re not thinking about the salty waters of our destination, but instead the possibility of spilt blood --- ours! It’s easy to panic sometimes, especially when we don’t see a way past a disaster. But that’s because we can’t see the future, we can’t know what’s downstream, only He can.

My friend’s long illnesses caused much panic, in her and in her family. And when her health stabilized recently to where she could move on to further recovery, she and her family remained in that panic mode, caught in the recent memory of pains and life-threatening ailments. Move on?? They thought: What if something happens ---- again? Can I go to the hospital near my home to further recover, she and her family considered, or should I stay near these expert doctors, in case …….? For a moment, the raging waters she had recently faced were all calm around her, but she feared moving, afraid of where the current might take her again.

I tried to offer calming words and confidence in either of the two locations she was considering, near the ICU room she was in, or near her home. Finally I held out a Divine Mercy prayer card, with the picture of Jesus on the front, and showed it to my friend. She read the words at the bottom of the picture: Jesus, I trust in You. I told her I prayed that prayer this morning, and every day. Did she agree with that prayer, I asked? She nodded. Then just make a decision to move on, I said, whichever hospital you choose will work out well, if you trust in Him. But still, in fear, she couldn’t make the decision.

While she napped, exhausted by her body’s weakness and drugs --- and worry, word came that a room was now available at the hospital near her home. The family called and told me they were taking it; I concurred, but I was one in the hospital room, alone, to tell her. When she woke I told her where she would be transported to very shortly. “Why?” she wrote on the notepad in front of her. I think she was expecting me to say that I chose that hospital for her --- I had threatened to do just that if she continued indecisive. Instead, I picked up the prayer card, and pointing to the words: Jesus, I Trust in You, said: “He decided. You were physically ready to move on and He made a bed available in your hometown hospital. I didn’t have to choose for you; He did.” And her fears about the decision vanished, and she wrote no more words about it. The 2-hour ambulance ride was uneventful.

I wrote about the progress she has made in this first day at the hospital, her new temporary home. And despite her fears, she smiled many times today. But it was at the end of my time with her when I pointed out the window of her room and told her what a beautiful view was there that she nodded. And then she wrote on her notepad for me to read: “Yes, I’m glad I decided to come here.” All her fears of coming here were forgotten.

God helps us move on, past all our fears and our pains, even if we are not aware He is the one doing so.

Do Not Be Anxious.

Transcribed this 25th day of January 2012, the feast day commemorating the Conversion of St. Paul. It’s a fitting day to consider these thoughts of my friend and the feast day’s reminder that even when all seems beyond hope, God can do anything. Imagine what the people said after Paul’s conversion: How and WHY can this be? They could never know or understand the great plans God had.

My friend’s recovery thus far seems almost like a miracle; certainly I never expected her to survive as she has. If I were to hear she died at this moment, the reason for all her pains and sufferings, like Paul’s conversion, I know will perplex me, but I also know they will have served some great purpose which I never will be able to understand --- in this life. But my understanding matters not.

Jesus, I trust in You.

Filtering The Noise

2012-01-21T10:15:00.000-05:00

“And we pray, Lord, that we might listen to You and not to others.”

It was a simple prayer the priest voiced, and perhaps had I not recently been thinking about hearing His call, I might not have heard what He said. So often it seems I am deaf to Him.

I’ve been thinking about praying and how to distinguish the call of God, if He should speak to me, but note the words of the priest’s prayer: he said no IF God speaks to me. He said the Lord IS speaking to me, and I should listen. But if that is true, then how come I can’t hear Him speaking, at least sometimes? Ah, then there is the second part of the priest’s prayer: “And not listen to others.” I don’t hear Him because I am listening to others, because I like what they have to say.

The fact is that we are bombarded with people speaking to us all the time, and we can’t help but listen to them. And we should listen to them, for surely God often uses others, their words and their actions, to speak to us. But if His words are in this noise which reaches us continually, how do we filter out the less essential stuff, and hear Him?

I think a simple filter for most of us might be to ask: These words and actions I hear and see, do I want them for me, for my benefit? Remember the prayer: “Not my will but Thy will be done, O Lord?” Implied but not said in that prayer is the fact that it is WE who must do something with ourselves; we are doing our will or His. We must stop filtering the world around us looking for things we want to do, our will for ourselves, and instead find what we and God would have us do, for others.

The advertisements of television and radio appeal to things we want. “Buy this and you’ll be happy.” Our friends also appeal to things we want so that we will appreciate them in return: “Let’s go play, or go to the mall or to the movies. Let’s have fun together.” And even among the more noble and virtuous words we hear from others: “Let’s give to the poor; come to this prayer meeting, or give your life to Jesus,” we hear the good words but then filter them to hear what they will mean for us and what we want: “Others may like me more if I do these things, and perhaps even God will!”

We filter so much of this world around us and think: “What’s in it for me?”

Consolations and rewards and simple “Thank you’s” really are good things and we should try to do things to deserve to hear them said to us, but the good we feel as a result of hearing these words said to us shouldn’t be a pride-like good feeling, “They acknowledge how great I am,” but rather an accomplishment feeling: “For all the times I screwed up, perhaps I got that one right, as You would wish me to do it. Thank you, Lord, for Your help.”

If we filter the world around us with the thought “Could this be God calling to me,” rather than “Is this what I want,” I believe we will be on a path to more often hearing --- and answering --- His call. If we look at the television ads and truthfully ask: “I wonder if God’s telling me to buy ANOTHER pair of shoes” or “Is God telling me to eat more French fries,” then we will be able to know with some confidence if it is His call. There are many things He would call us to say or do (or sometimes even buy) if we listen correctly.

Perhaps we might worry about God calling us to be “too holy.” But God doesn’t call us all to do priest-like things all the time (even priests!), especially if we have a family or other life commitments at this time. But He does call us to do some things each day, because He loves us and has a unique purpose for each of us, for exactly where we are now in our life.

And if we can but listen, perhaps we’ll even hear those words of praise (we so love) from someone and not think, like Little Jack Horner: “What a good boy am I,” but rather: “I heard God speaking those words to me through that person. And He told me He is pleased.”

Having God say “thank you” to us, isn’t that grand? If we are naturally inclined to seek the things we want in this life, shouldn’t we want that most of all?

Where Am I Going?

2012-01-18T10:27:00.000-05:00

Scripture tells us that God called Samuel in the night three times, and three times Samuel thought it was someone else calling. Finally Eli, who slept nearby said: “It is God calling.” And when he heard the call again, Samuel said: “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

In explaining the reading, the priest at mass mentioned the call the Holy Spirit makes to each of us, and our own deafness or wrong interpretations of that call. We may have received the sacrament of Confirmation, to be open to the call of the Holy Spirit, but then the world called also. And “God’s calling us” suddenly didn’t enter into our minds anymore.

And the priest also mentioned that Eli was nearly blind, and Samuel cared for him (God calling to caregivers??!). That caught my attention. I think of my prayers to God at mass or in my visits to the chapel, and I know He DOES speak to me there in answer, but does He speak to me in my sleep or in my daily activities? Intellectually and faithfully I know He is there with me, but in truth I often don’t think of Him when I hear another’s voice, as Samuel did. When I hear a voice telling me something, I look at the speaker and consider what they said or want, but I rarely consider: “could this be the voice of God speaking to me through them?”

As I go through my daily life, how often do I really say: “Speak Lord, your servant is listening,” and then listen? Do I consider fully enough that God’s answer to my prayers may be through that friend, or through that professional person, or even through that stranger? Or do I too often answer my own prayers, hearing the “thoughts” of friends, professionals and those I treat as strangers, and then saying: “That’s what you think, well here’s what I think,” and then go merrily on my way, thinking God didn’t answer my prayer, so I’ll have to do this myself. Alone.

God called Samuel four times! That’s the key point of that lesson. God calls us persistently. Confirmation is a sacrament bestowed on Catholics at about the age 13. It is supposed to be an initiation into the work of the Holy Spirit. It says, in effect, you learned thus far to listen to the voice of your parents, and they taught you well, now BEGIN to listen to the voice of God, for there is much more to learn.

I think many people treat sacraments like Confirmation as an event, a thing that happened and then is over and done with. But sacraments are really initiations, doors being opened to something new. They are just the start of something, something big and life changing. To receive a sacrament as an event is like receiving a car and putting it in the driveway, never to be used. What value would that be? Like a car, sacraments can open whole new areas to your life, if you use them properly.

Catholics receive Confirmation, and Protestants commit their life to Jesus; they are similar blessings and commitments, but they shouldn’t be just events. God’s continual calls to us can be like a map placed before us; distant cities are there to be reached, with confidence, if we follow. But when we first commitment to our faith life we are like an infant, and so a map in front of us means nothing. We must grow. Fortunately, when we receive Confirmation or commit our life to Christ we are grown enough physically to begin to take part in our own education, and discover what God’s call and our commitment to hear it means to us. Our parents’ teachings drift seamlessly into our own self-learning. One of the first commitments we make ourselves, as young adults, is to learn about God. It is a crucial part of our education in life, because it is the reason we have life at all. And we naturally yearn for God, even if we can’t express it (Ps 42).

We are each made with a purpose, like no one else. Each of us has a different map for his life, a road God has equipped us to follow. Reading our map takes lessons, to learn how to interpret its signals and symbols, and to hear the instructions from the Mapmaker.

We learn how to live our life well, as intended, if we continue to learn --- all our life --- about God. We made that commitment when we received Confirmation or committed our life to Christ. But for many of us the world got in the way, and we chose life routes not on our map. Fortunately, we have our whole life to reach our destination, our heavenly home at the end, and it is never too late to get back on the course, or even to begin like infants again, to learn how to read, to hear, and to interpret the route laid out before us. For no matter what route we may have gotten lost on, God lays out detour signs to direct us back to the right way. He calls, through friends, through professionals, through saints and even strangers. He calls. And we begin to turn our car in the right direction when we say, like Samuel, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

All our life we are meant to make progress toward our destination. Our education in how to read our map comes from Scripture, Jesus Himself, and from His speaking to us through others. Read the words of saints and scripture scholars, the recognized experts in reading the map of life, but also be open to His personal call to you in the night.

Growing in holiness is a life’s journey, not an event. “This is eternal life: to know You, the One true God, and Jesus whom You have sent” (Mt 17:3). Fortunately, each of us has the same destination on our maps, and many of the routes to get there are common to us all, so often we can travel together. Come, let us go, enjoying the scenery and each others' company. Perhaps I’ve been down that route you are about to take, and I can explain its hazards --- or even a shortcut. We have much to learn from each other along the way. But let us get started. Let’s listen for the Mapmaker, and His directions.

What Price Glory?

2012-01-14T16:05:00.000-05:00

• Retirement? Usefulness? Alone; forgotten. What value all my work? All forget. Why did I exist?
• Does it matter if I go on? Who benefits from my suffering? Should I abandon friends, as they do me?
• All the accomplishments, all the lauds --- gone.

Tonight I meditated on the Sorrowful Mysteries, and when I came to the third mystery, The Crowning With Thorns, I read the above lines for meditation, and more. My thoughts drifted, as always, between Christ’s life and sorrows, and mine. But tonight they swayed more toward mine, and stayed there.

When I retired my life changed. My life’s focus changed, from caring for my employer’s company, to caring for my mom. Certainly, I am sure, my focus now is more rewarding in God’s eyes --- all caring for others is, and especially for our parents. It’s what Jesus’ “job” on earth was, caring for others. And there are many days when I appreciate my new retirement job, and my blessings.

But not always.

If you’ve led a successful career, whether in the eyes of others, or even if just in your own eyes, how do you step away from that focus and not miss it, and not feel less useful? How do generals retire, and wake up with no army saluting them? How do mothers retire and wake up to no sounds of children in the house? How do you not hear the quiet?

I think perhaps like the rich man, a successful person also has some difficulty getting into heaven. Success in this life makes you enjoy it too much, seek the glory given by others too much, even if it’s only from your children (and then, even if only sometimes). Many of us, myself included, are used to saying: “Life is good,” because so often it has been good for us. We appreciate its goodness, and even give thanks to God, that we are blessed here.

But we were not born to be blessed here. We were not born to receive praise and glory here. We were not born to live only here.

How easily we forget those things, and even before we leave this life, begin missing it.

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately with a friend’s mother, who is very ill in the hospital. Recently out of the ICU --- finally --- she faces a long road to recovery, to whatever life she will be capable of, to the degree her body can heal. I was told tonight that I was a major factor in her recovery thus far, that someone’s presence there mattered very much to her. And I’m sure it did.

But then I read those meditations tonight and remembered. Once there were praises, accomplishments, lauds. Now I am a “presence”. A warm body to indicate to another, that “someone” cares. I’ve been that warm body to a number of friends, and in truth often that is all I am to my mother, a presence she wants, and sometimes needs. But there’s no applause anymore. It’s so quiet. I know that the other day I wrote about the importance of those who are there for another, the job they do, even the one I do, and these people cannot be lauded enough. But they aren’t, and there’s the rub. It’s a hard job to do, and probably most people don’t have the guts to do it, to really love their neighbor --- unless they get something back, some applause, some lauds.

I guess it’s fortunate that I have these thoughts, and write them tonight, in a chapel. As I write, musing on my self-pity, wondering how to conclude this melancholy note of my thoughts, I looked up and saw the tabernacle. And I heard the quiet here. For hours now, it’s been just He and I alone, me in my prayers -- and then sorrows -- and He in His “presence,” just a presence with me, who needed someone there with him this night.

I wallowed in some level of self-pity about ONLY being a presence, but that is what Jesus is to me. And I very much do appreciate the importance of my knowing that He is there. He doesn’t have to work miracles for me each day, all He needs do is listen to my prayers (or moanings), He doesn’t even have to answer. I am content, deeply content, knowing that he is present with me. His “presence” is important.

Thank You, Lord.

I guess I’ve moved on past my self-pity, thinking I have no value. St. Francis, who often prayed alone, Mother Teresa who helped the dying on dirty smelly streets as others walked by, and God here this night in this chapel, they were present for others when no one else would be. They received no applause and little recognition, but they did and still do some of the most important work in the world, God’s work.

I am humbled to be able to serve, to be and instrument of His peace. I and every other person on this earth are important, as part of this body and family of God. There is no greater glory in this life.

On Being Led

2012-01-08T16:31:00.001-05:00

As with gladness men of old,
Did the guiding star behold,
As with joy they hailed its light,
Leading onwards, beaming bright,
So, most gracious God, may we
Evermore be led to thee

Today, Sunday January 8, 2012, is the feast of the Epiphany, recalling the star in the sky, and the Three Kings who followed it. When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy (Mt 2:10). This event, like many others, is called a theophony, a manifestation of God’s power and presence, perceived by all. There have been many theophonies in Scripture, the parting of the Red Sea, wine turned into water and other miracles of Jesus, and more recently the miracle of the sun at Fatima. Believers and non-believers saw these things. They happened.

Reading those opening lines (above) of the Evening Prayer Hymn, I recalled that visible miracle of the star, but in reading the words tonight, my mind’s eye read something other than the written words. I read the last lines as being: “So most gracious God, may we evermore be led BY thee.”

Then I realized my mistake.

I often pray to know God’s will, and to be led BY Him, but the words of the hymn spoke of being led TO Him, as the Magi were that night long ago. And I pondered the difference in those words I had thought and read.

A friend wrote to me last night about her son, who believed that he need not pray daily to God, since God expects us to use the talents He gave us to live out our daily lives. She asked for words or references to explain the importance of daily prayer to him. I responded (in much too much length, I’m afraid) that he was right about needing to use the talents we were blessed with, but confused on why we should pray. Only rarely should we pray for God to do miraculous things, theophonies, in the world, but rather daily we should pray that when WE do things, we do them in alignment with His will (which is the way I first read the words of the hymn, “to be led BY thee.”). As her son stated correctly, God expects us to use our talents each day, but our talents by themselves are not enough to know WHAT we should do, since we face so many choices. Our first choice should be to do what He would will us to do, as if He were here doing it Himself. We are to be His instruments in this world, living as He showed us how to live. So to clarify what we should do, our daily prayer should be for Wisdom, to know His will, that we might do it.

But as I said, I initially read that line of the hymn wrong. I read it that we should be led by Him, as I believed true. But the hymn is more basic: it says that before I can be led BY Him, I (like the Magi) must first be led TO Him. You can’t begin to live like Him until you first find Him.

With the Magi a miracle occurred, and because they could see the theophony of the star, they believed, but blessed are they “who believe without seeing.” Faith is believing without seeing, and like the star, it too is a miracle, but one that is not seen like the star but no less important. We can’t really follow Jesus unless we believe He is here, now, with us each day. He’s not a God who came in time and worked miracles we can only read about in the Bible. We need the faith that He is a God who can work miracles in our hearts, today, that He can clarify how we should use our talents.

I have a friend who is likely dying. I believe she thinks about and speaks to Jesus each day. Is that what it takes before we do the same?

Holy Jesus, every day
Keep us in the narrow way;
And, when earthly things are past,
Bring our ransomed souls at last
Where they need no star to guide,
Where no clouds thy glory hide.

In the heavenly country bright
Need they no created light,
Thou its light, in joy, its crown,
Thou its sun which goes not down;
There for ever may we sing
Alleluias to our king.

The Wise Men found Him and laid treasures at His feet. If we are blessed to search for and find Him, what will we lay at His feet? Might I suggest our will, that we might follow where He would lead us?

I Gotta Tell Ya This

2012-01-07T17:38:00.000-05:00

There are so many serious things happening in my life lately, and then this happens:

Mom and I are watching the Rocky and Bullwinkle show when, in the same episode: Boris Badenov steals the Kirwood Derby (which makes you supremely intelligent), and then Gidney and Floyd (the moon men) decide not to scrootch him with their scrootch gun. Then Boris says: “Nya-Ha-Ha! Now I’ll put on the derby and figure out how to control the world!!” And he puts on the derby, pauses, and then says: “You know, it really is stupid of me to be such a no goodnik. Everyone hates me. I should be a nicer guy.” And Natasha screams: “What!!” and throws the hat away.

And meanwhile the scene flips to an office door, with the words: “Rocket J. Squirrel, Congressman” on it. And outside the door are two guys with big guns, one wants to shoot him because of what he did, and the other for what he didn’t do. And one says: “I don’t know how we elected a squirrel in the first place.” And the other answers: “It just seemed a matter of time, with so many nuts in Washington, that a squirrel would show up!”

Ah, yes. Shows so old that they are new, and jokes so timeless that they never stop being funny (or true.)

I just had to tell you this.

But now I gotta go, Dudley-Do-Right is coming on.

(Hope you have a good weekend!)

Want A Job?

2012-01-06T17:45:00.001-05:00

I first met AnnaMarie when she walked into the ICU room, two days ago.

My friend has been in intensive care now for so many days, I’ve lost track of the number, but certainly it’s been most of last month, and this month to date. She’s battled one infection or organ failure or bleeding or mystery problem after another, and has been successful in knocking out some of those problems entirely, major battle victories --- but the war remains in doubt. It’s as if the guns of the enemy have gone silent, and you want to cheer out loud, but then you look around and see all your wounded and dying, and see that you have very little ammunition left, and you realize that if the enemy does not give up now, all your victories-to-date may have been for nothing. It was into this type of tired, worn, scarred and scared battlefield that AnnaMarie walked --- with a big smile on her face.

AnnaMarie is a physical therapist. During my friend’s many days of battle, her body (and mind) was so totally engaged in the fight that distractions such as physical therapy were simply not possible. If nothing else, the many types of pains she endured would preclude the effort. But two days ago AnnaMarie entered the room and announced that “Today we are going to do some exercises to help make you stronger!” Not surprisingly my friend looked at her as if she were somewhat insane, and with a strength no one thought this wounded soldier had, she emphatically shook her head from side to side. No!!! The tubes from her mouth and nose shook (and probably those from other orifices as well). This battle veteran was not in for any “fun” today. But she hadn’t met AnnaMarie before that day either.

With her energy resources so totally drained that it was a struggle to breathe, even with the respirator’s help, I tended to agree with my friend that she was in no condition to exercise, but AnnaMarie persisted. “The only way you will get all those tubes out is to make your body stronger --- everywhere. You need to get strong enough to breathe, to swallow, to eat, and then to walk. It’s going to take work, but you’ve got to start.” Certainly AnnaMarie’s logic made sense, and so I took a whiteboard and wrote out some supporting words to my friend. After reading them, however, the same head shaking occurred --- although perhaps a bit less vehement. We persisted, stressing the need to take steps to get out of here. AnnaMarie said that if she felt any pains, pain medicines would be provided, and she wouldn’t work too hard this first day, but we MUST start. Again the shaking of the head. Then I wrote on the board: “Look, if she hurts you, I’ll punch her out. Let’s try it anyway.” That got a smile, and shortly afterward a nod to proceed. Little did she know what she was agreeing to.

AnnaMarie said: “Well, we can’t really exercise well with you lying there, so you’ll have to sit up.” Sit up? She could barely raise her head or arm; that seemed out of the question, but as AnnaMarie explained, laughing, well the bed will do most of the work. And then with some soft whirrs, the bed transformed into a chair-like position. My friend looked very distressed at assuming the posture she had not been in for a month or more, but when questioned admitted she was not in pain, but only something we could describe as “uncomfortable” for her to nod to. So while in the bed-chair, leg lifts and arm lifts were slowly done, up and down, side to side, push out and pull in, exercising long unused muscles. And perhaps breathing a bit harder, and exercising those muscles, too. At the end of the routine my friend raised her legs again, wanting more. And when she was again laid supine in the bed, she began a routine of lifting and pulling her arms herself. Success!

Yesterday, AnnaMarie came in all smiles again. Ready? This time her question was answered with a quick nod. But there was another surprise waiting as AnnaMarie said: “Sitting up was good, but we need to get you out of that bed.” My friend looked at me and, without being able to say it, had a facial expression which seemed to say: “Is this lady nuts?” But with the help of a ceiling hoist, my friend did sit in a wheelchair yesterday, and performed even more strenuous exercises, some self-initiated. And with a little help from some of my goofier written comments, smiled often through the work. When the half hour routine was over, she motioned she wished to remain in the chair, and repeated all the exercises for another 45 minutes. Today she was put into the chair again, and would be spending an even longer time in the chair. AnnaMarie was enthusiastic about how my friend exceeded her (and all the doctors’) expectations. And my friend’s daughter cried with happiness.

Next week my friend is (finally) supposed to get the hated respirator tube out of her mouth, to be replaced by a tracheotomy. Weeks of strengthening lie ahead, along with huge numbers of risks. She may never leave the hospital alive; the war may yet be lost. But today she was happily exercising, and fighting. I wrote some notes to her about how her and God and I are fighting here, and she nodded. I think she realizes that as long as we have life, we have to fight to live it well.

I think a couple of days ago my friend had won a number of battles, but attempting to cheer her up over the victories brought little signs of happiness. She seemed to worry that more of the same battles were coming, and she had no more strength left to fight. But a cheerful woman named AnnaMarie changed the ground rules for the battle; she helped rally my friend to get up and fight on, when she felt she had no fight left. One person, dedicated to making a difference, renewed my friends fight for life, and enjoyment with life. One person.

If you have read this far, you probably forgot the title of this blog posting: “Want a Job?” No, AnnaMarie isn’t quitting, but I had to tell her story to explain where the title came from. From one point of view, AnnaMarie didn’t do anything remarkable, with a little training (okay, perhaps a LOT of training) you or I could do the same. And any idiot could write the few encouraging funny words to break the frozen ice of a dark mood, as I did. But not anyone does. It takes someone to get out and decide to do it, to make it happen. Living around the ICU these weeks has made me realize how many people there are who do not have a cheerleader for them, someone who will take the time to encourage them to not give up, and to encourage them to think about God, in their plight --- and in His. In short, what many people in illness or depression need is someone to love them, to show them that someone thinks them important enough that they will spend some time with them.

If you ARE looking for a job, I hope you saw the point I was trying to make, that there are many jobs waiting to be done, just perhaps not the ones you are looking for. This afternoon a friend called me and we talked about what I and my very sick friend have been going through. The caller said to me: “Who would have guessed, you with all your business and analytical talents would be called by God to be a comforter to His sick children.” Who would have guessed, indeed. I certainly never foresaw this in my career path. But can you see it in yours? Circumstances forced me to choose early retirement, and I found a new career helping others (including my own mother). If you are in your fifties or sixties and not content to retire, but are mailing out tons of resumes (and attending a few interviews) with little success, perhaps you need to be open to a different job.

You may be mailing out resumes in hopes that someone will call and say: “I want you.” Your desire for this sign of being wanted, is just a form of your wanting love. That’s what love is, recognizing the value of someone. Jesus gave out lots of love to others, and then got lots of love in return. There are a billion people in this world today who profess to love Him, and it started with His love of some hundreds. Don’t you see, that to be loved you have to GIVE love first. You want a job? Well, take a job first. Fill one of the many positions available for people who want to care for the old and the ill, the least of His children. Give yourself this job, and perhaps other offers will pour in --- God does reward His children.

But then again, once you do this job, perhaps you might want no other. I have had a radical career path change, and the pay isn’t as rewarding in the last one, at least not monetarily. But if you are unemployed and sitting home doing nothing, you aren’t exactly raking in the dough anyway. There are lots of openings for jobs like the one I am engaged in, and perhaps I am taking the pay “in-kind” for now, in the smiles and hugs and thank you’s. But perhaps this is exactly the job I needed to get the ultimate pay, a major “deferred benefit” payment.

There are openings for this sort of work, you know. Want a Job? REALLY want a job?

I gave AnnaMarie a little prayer card when I saw her this morning. It was the prayer of St. Francis, you know, the one which starts out: “Make me an instrument of Your peace.” I told AnnaMarie that I thought of her when I said the prayer this morning. All the things I prayed which I might do, “bring faith where once there was doubt, hope for despair, light where there was darkness, and joy to replace sadness,” I realized she was doing. I prayed to be an instrument of His peace, and today I saw one of His instruments in front of me.

There are more openings.

At The Stroke of Midnight

2012-01-01T09:39:00.000-05:00

The last one arrived shortly before midnight. Now there were twelve. Somehow that seemed an appropriate number to be before Our Lord this New Year’s Eve.

I remember Christmas Eve, a week ago, when the numbers were fewer. Midnight at Christmas morn some were celebrating the arrival of Our Savior, His birthday, but more are here this night. I wonder: Are they celebrating the dawn of a new year, or the ending of the old? Or are they celebrating at all? Are they praying about the end of a year of trial, like me, and expressing hope for the future? Why is it important that they take this time to be in the presence of their God?

At the stroke of midnight, most were on their knees. Some were older (and I had seen them in the chapel before). Most, however, were younger, including some couples. The sight of them gave me hope, hope for the future. Even as I worry about the past and wonder about the future for myself and those I love, I can see that the future for God and His Church is promising. It’s good that my thought went there. I need hope. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in myself and my immediate concerns, but I am not present on this earth only for myself. Even as the young people present this night give me hope, we are all called to be witnesses to Hope, to everyone we meet. So, as St. Paul says, we can proclaim to others “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” We are here to give hope to others, to be His presence, in our life, and even in our death.

People continued to come and go during my entire adoration time. I am happy for Our Lord, that so many wanted to spend time with Him. (Or with thoughts of His Mother, whose feast day is January 1?) I felt as if my family were gathering with me tonight, here in prayer.

And at the stroke of midnight I was meditating on the Glorious Mysteries of the rosary, and read these words:

• I am never alone for You are one with me.
• I will be with you always, even to the end.
• Lord, I need You with me, by myself I am so weak.
• Spirit of Wisdom, guide me.
• Love come to me, that I might be love to others.
• Lord, You know that I love You.
• Yea though I walk through the valley … I shall not fear for You are with me.

And,
• My Jesus, Who so loved me, Who I so love, I trust in You.

New Year's Eve Thoughts

2011-12-31T17:58:00.001-05:00

Okay, to be honest, I don’t have any. In fact (in case you haven’t noticed) I haven’t had any thoughts in a couple of weeks. That’s because I spent them either caring for my mom, or sitting with my best friend’s mom in the hospital ICU, as they discover one thing after another after another after another after ANOTHER thing wrong with her. So what AM I supposed to think? I don’t know; no thoughts have been coming lately, despite my many prayers.

My prayers have gone from “Please heal her” to “Thy will be done” to whatever. What DO you pray for, as problems continue to come, seemed to be helped (or at least alleviated), only to have more problems appear? How do you offer hope (much less faith) through all the feeding tubes and breathing tubes and tubes and lines coming out of just about every part of the body that you can think of? What should you think when all the hospital people greet you familiarly each day? (Is it like you should think if every bar tender greeted you familiarly each day?) I don’t know.

Each day I pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet, and the words “Jesus, I trust in You.” I was saying it late one night last week when I felt a strong urge to kneel. I looked at the altar then, and felt a response to my prayer: “Do you trust Me?” Do you trust me?? I was praying the prayer that said I did. Was this like a Job question, trusting is most important when it is the hardest? I’ve written about that here before, but these recent weeks my friend, her daughter, and I have been not thinking about but living the reality of Job.

So when the real challenges come, not just a simple pinprick met by the repetitive refrain of a chaplet or a rosary or the Our Father, but a REAL challenge. Then, what do you say to: “Do you trust Me?” In response I repeated the chaplet, and I substituted her name in place of the generic “have mercy on US”. Lord, she needs mercy. I’m not sure what else to do, as I look each day into her sad eyes and at her bruised and swollen body, and as the doctors say “there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and we intend to get there --- moving one day at a time.”

Do you trust Me? Really? I’m not sure I ever really answered the question, but I put on a brave face for her and her daughter.

The below words were posted here on December 31, 2009. I don’t feel any urge to write lately, so perhaps it is best to consider these words again, as we face yet another new year. Peace and blessings to you, my friends. Please pray for Barb.

Dec 31 – St. Sylvester, Pope

“Few people realize that on the last day of the year the Church commemorates the first pope after the terrible centuries of persecution by the Roman Empire. Although he was not the very first bishop of Rome to die in bed, he surely grew up thinking he was going to be a martyr. As a boy he lived through the most ferocious persecution of all, that of Diocletian. Only a few years before he was elected pope in 314, the first decree of toleration of Christians was issued. One may suppose he made the same mistake we all make when times of terrible trial are over, that of thinking that things are finally going to work out and all will be peaceful with blue skies and roses.”

“Saint Sylvester’s feast falls on New Year’s Eve, when we happily bid the old year good-bye and wistfully hope that the next year will be better. For this reason each year the fourth-century pope always has a lesson for us: Keep going! Don’t look back! Look ahead and trust God, but don’t trust the next year will be wonderful. Rather be convinced that God will go with you. Christ will walk with anyone who invites him along. The Lord is my shepherd. Why should I be afraid? I don’t expect everything will be wonderful next year; in fact, one of these years will be my last one on earth. I don’t expect blue skies every day; that would mean a drought. But I do know that I will not be alone, because the lips of the man who was born in Bethlehem would say as he left this world thirty years later: “I will be with you always even to the end of the world” (Mt 28:20). “

Lord Jesus, as I end another year and prepare for the next one, make me ever more aware of Your presence. Help me to rest in Your presence even more than I have in the past. Help me spread the knowledge, the fragrance of Your presence wherever I go. Let more and more people know that You are with them, even in these anxious times. May this year, more than any previous one, be spent in Your presence. Amen.
Behold He Comes – Meditation on the Incarnation, by Benedict Groeschel, CFR

Not surprisingly, Fr. Benedict puts into words what is in my heart much better than I could. In many ways 2009 was a great blessing, in the midst of so many trials. I know, things could always have been worse. I look forward to 2010 with trepidation, and prayers. I am confident that if I do my best, and have trust in God, things will turn out well.

I will pray they turn out well for you, also.

Room At Your Inn?

2011-12-22T12:02:00.001-05:00

I first started thinking about this issue a few weeks ago, when a friend involved in her parish’s evangelization team asked my thoughts about parishes, or groups of parishes, adopting homeless families. She had felt a call to do something, and was struggling with how to make it happen. After some discussion we agreed that perhaps one of the more difficult things would be to get parish members, especially people we know, to come forth seeking help ---- we had confidence in the generosity of our community members, but thought that some people would be reluctant to admit they were in need. (In my own parish, “Benevolent Funds” are distributed discretely by the pastor.) We settled on an idea that the outreach might be offered as a form of family caring, like grandparents always loving and being available for the grandchildren. Gifts could be offered not in charity, but in family love. My friend went off to pursue this and other ideas at her church.

Then a couple of weeks ago there was an article in the Wall Street Journal about young adults moving back with their parents. Times are difficult for many young people, even college graduates. The article pointed out that living at home helped justify them being on their parent’s insurance policy (until they turn 26), along with other cost savings associated with going back home. The article, however, implied that all this was a bad thing --- and I spoke aloud after reading it: “Nonsense!” (I may have used some other word, I don’t remember.) I described the article to those around me and voiced my opinion that “this is EXACTLY what should be happening. If our children are in need, one of the first places they should turn to is the family --- and they should be welcomed. This is the Catholic Church’s principle of subsidiarity --- needed help should come from the lowest levels of society, not the highest.” But the article implied that it was a sad thing that families had to help. This author was wrong.

Last week I had someone confide in me, in the adoration chapel, that they had lost their job. While I offered her some leads and places where she might start looking, even if for only temporary work, she told me that she was okay --- for now. She only asked for my prayers, and then kindly asked how things were going for me of late. Even in her trials, looking out for her neighbor. Of course, I prayed for her.

This last Sunday the Detroit Free Press began a series of articles on homeless children in the state of Michigan. The paper noted that, through the school system, there were identified 31,000 children whose parents were in a nomadic or homeless state – or they were living on the street. Under various programs this entitled those children to special considerations, like free meals and school supplies. Special school transportation needs were also addressed to the homeless children, some costing hundreds per day --- per child! The articles noted many specific examples of nomadic parents, living with friends and relatives, until their welcome wore out. They mentioned Covenant House, which picks up homeless kids off the street, and even has started a high school just for them! While I was at mass on Sunday my United Way director called me and left me a message saying (after reading the first article) she wanted to begin a program to help with the situation.

Well, considering all of this, do you think God is knocking, or what?

Then the King will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me. … Truly, I say to you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.’ (Mt 25 34-40)

Some of you are aware that I am trying to pull together a book of people who answered God’s call and helped their neighbor, and their efforts grew and many were helped. They practiced the rule of subsidiarity; they did not go out and seek help for their neighbor in need, they GAVE help. If I can get the book completed and published, I hope they can be inspirations to others. We can all help our neighbor and answer the call to help God’s children, and in loving them show our love to Him. Do you have an empty bedroom or basement, a room at your inn? Perhaps you might be able to use that vacant space to welcome a child who calls in need. Or would you instead say to him: “Go find a stable outside there somewhere; this place is full?” Won’t we hear that question asked this Sunday, Christmas Day?

I’ve written in this blog how for the past couple of years I have tried to help my neighbor, hiring the unemployed to do work in and around my house, paying them a generous wage so that they might accept my charity with dignity. I encouraged you and others to do the same, but I was aware of no one taking up the banner, although I also asked churches and charities. A little can make a difference. Recently I received a Christmas card from the first man I hired. He ultimately lost his home to foreclosure, but now has found a job and is in a new home in another city. My little effort at helping him yielded results --- in the card he reminded me that I am his friend for life. Perhaps these latest events are a call for me to provide a physical sharing of my home, also. It seems just a natural growth of what I have been doing. But I can’t help but use this blog (and you few who might read it), to issue a challenge again: Is there room at your inn? I will develop a program for my local United Way to subsidize those who would offer “room at their inn,” but I think, especially at this time in our country, that we all need to consider it.

Every time we go to mass and walk up to the front of the church, the priest holds up a small white host in front of us and says: “The Body of Christ.” And we respond: “Amen!” Our amen is not just an assent to our belief that this host is actually the Body of Christ, but it is also an assent that we, together, are part of the Body of Christ, His Church. We are saying “Amen,” I am one with you, and we are one together, in the Body of Christ. If you sit up near the front of the Church you can hear the words said to each communicant, over and over again: “The Body of Christ! The Body of Christ! The Body of Christ!”

When will we REALLY answer: Amen!!? Yes Lord, You are here! Yes Lord, I am here with You! And I will love You and serve You and care for You wherever and whenever I may see you, even in the least of my brothers and sisters.

I'm Happy --- And This Too Is Your Fault!

2011-12-18T17:24:00.001-05:00

This Advent has, for me, been one focused on things which disturbed my peace. I’ve seen illness, sadness, confusion, and even death this year. I’ve taken the sad news of our country, our Church, and my friends seriously, as I should. I’ve prayed on these things so much that I worry I might test Our Lord with my cries. Perhaps He thinks on me and says: “You again? You think these things are bad --- wait, then you will see bad.” Or perhaps he hears my moanings and thinks: “Pitiful!” Well, I guess that’d be a better response: Yes Lord, I am pitiful, so pity me and my friends. But I know one thing for sure that The Lord does not think about me: He does not think of me as being sad because of these things, for He reads my heart and knows the great joy that lies therein. Not emotional feelings, mad or sad, but a chosen attitude of joy lies there, in response to His love for me. And I shall not forget His love, especially at this time of year.

I know friends who readily sacrifice for their families, and I know preachers who open my heart to God’s Word and His love. I know people who proclaim the joys in their life to me and others, despite their sorrows. And I know men who have sacrificed their lives for me --- One was even a God. I know people who tell me I bring to them God’s love. And I see children, and the gifts of life. And in my heart, I see God.

I have seen and known all these things, and they do make me happy. They are things you gave me, not any happiness that I obtained on my own. In my heart is an attitude of joy, and these things I see in you and your actions are like Christmas gifts to me. And the more they are a surprise to me, the more happiness I feel.

I was pretty young when I realized that I had obtained a new maturity with my life; I can even recall the Christmas Day on which it happened. A young teen, I think, I had asked my parents for a portable radio for Christmas (I’m not sure I ever believed in Santa Claus). When I opened my gifts that Christmas Day, the radio was there just as I had asked. But this Christmas I wasn’t wildly joyful over the gift, I think in part because I expected to get it. I was happy and I thanked my parents, but then I put this desired gift aside and watched everyone else open their presents.

I remember the great happiness I felt when others expressed their happiness. All right, perhaps I did feel a little more happy when they were happy with my gifts, but in truth all their smiles made me smile, regardless of the gift’s source. That Christmas I really learned the joy of giving and seeing others receive, and I have never lost that deep joy which I found. It was beyond feelings of happiness, mere reactive emotions, but there was a deeper joy, a satisfaction that this was good, very good. And while I enjoyed the smiles of those around me, I enjoyed more when those people gave thanks. The hugs and kisses and tears of joy and thanksgiving brought great joy into my heart. I shall always remember that Christmas, and that first real joy at giving and seeing others give, and receive. And unlike some drug-induced high, I have felt that joy throughout my years over and over again.

Some people have told me that this is a flaw I have, that I don’t appreciate gifts enough. Perhaps it is. I know there is no “thing” which will make me insanely happy, and even things which bring me a level of happiness only do so for a while. My favorite song soon grows old, the pretty sweater I received goes into the drawer, and the toy I desired gathers dust in a corner. Like foods, there are some I prefer more than others, but none I hate and none that highly excite me. But I like to cook, and find a joy when others enjoy my concoctions. Getting stuff is okay, I guess, but …

I find much more happiness --- and real joy --- in giving than receiving, things.

But as I said, I find even a greater joy than with the thing received or given, in the expressions of love shown over gifts received --- whether material gifts, “things,” or spiritual ones. I’m happy over any hug given or received, tears of happiness shed or seen, or on seeing a lone person kneeling in front of God --- unaware that I am watching. Seeing love in action gives me greater joy than any “thing.”

And I so often see that love in you, in how you care for your children, in how you bear up with the illness of your loved one, in how you bear up with me and all my faults, and in how you pray. In your actions I see love, and that brings me great joy.

So I am happy, and yes, it is often your fault. God sent His only Son, to show us how to give, how to hug, how to shed tears, and how to love. But then he died, and then rose to heaven. I read about His actions, but I can’t see them. But I see you. Through you I see His actions in this world. Last year I gave priest friends a beautiful picture book entitled “These Hands Bring You Jesus”. It depicted priestly hands holding the Eucharist. In many ways, you are like those hands to me.

I wrote in recent posts how you and your anger and your sadness and your frustrations can make me mad. But that is you, and you are just a poor excuse of a human being sometimes. I understand. I am too. But often, so often, you don’t just bring me you, you bring me Him. I can see Him in your eyes, and in your actions. I can see His love in you.

And you make me so happy. And as I gaze on Him as I kneel in adoration, I often think of you.

I'm Mad ---- And It's Your Fault!

2011-12-15T12:07:00.002-05:00

I’ve been thinking of writing this post for a few days, days when it seemed there were only troubles all around me. You told me so. You told me how irritated you were at all those politicians (And I don’t think you’ve missed anyone, from Obama down to that local guy of yours that I never heard of). The men’s prayer group gathered this week and around the table they chatted about their kids and grandkids, and how foolish they were, acting in sinful ways, and who don’t seem to know God anymore --- or visit Him. And even the priest opined (during mass) how “I’m glad that at least they didn’t change the Lord’s Prayer.” All these and many others I heard grumbling this past week, about how frustrated and mad they were --- and their talk made me mad!

And wasn’t that their purpose?

Each day I hear the priest say at mass: “The peace of the Lord be with you always.” And in response there remains a few who stumble, saying words no longer proper --- until they hear the proper words being said by others. And then they shut up and feel self-conscious. And then their lips may silently move, saying words to themselves which I won’t speculate on. But they’re mad. And what, you may ask, am I doing at that time? Well, usually I have no trouble remembering (or reading) the proper responses, but I do admit that lately when the priest says “Peace be with you” I recall all the anger I’ve been hearing all week, and I think: Peace to me??? Grrrrrrr.

Many who are mad about something these days want to be sure to tell me of their anger. For as often as they may have said that “there never is any good news in the papers anymore,” they themselves have readily become news broadcasters of the bad news they see. I said I was mad, in the title to this blog, and it’s your fault. That’s true. Your concerns so easily become my concerns, and it is easy to join in on the rage and rant. You want me to agree with you in your frustration, and I do. And perhaps on some days I even relate your rage to others --- let’s get them mad, too! Anger has become our standard conversation fare.

We need to stop this, you and I. We need to stop and think, and pray. Is this how we obey the commandment to love our neighbor? Is it love you are spreading when you make me angry? The Jews expected a conqueror-Messiah, someone who would rile them up and urge them into battle, and make them mad enough to do something. Is that what Jesus did?

Did He demonstrate that anger is the answer to their problems? Did He spread hate, or love? Did He rant, or speak softly? Did He become as mad or troubled as the people who came to Him, or did He calm their fears? Did He say “Someone must stop these evils,” or did He stop them?

And just look at how he did those things; look at His example. He chastised evil; he healed; he taught; he loved; He forgave --- to one person at a time. And He showed us ultimate love, and said: “Do this.”

If you are irritated at politicians, pray on the issues and discern answers and politicians seeking to implement those answers, and then support them --- quietly and calmly. If you are upset at the lack of Catholic practice and education in our youth, remember that you are all called to evangelize, so do it: resolve to give away at least one copy of YouCat this Christmas (and if you are like some of the men of my prayer group who responded “What’s that?” then go to Amazon (or your local Catholic bookstore) and find out). And if the changes to the liturgy bother you, I simply reply that “they are not changes, but only better translations of the mass as said for 2,000 years.” Listen to a CD titled: “A Walk Through The New Mass Translations” by Lighthouse Catholic Media; it is a cheap CD and easy to understand.

Do these things and they will calm your anger and fears. Think of it as being HIS answer to the concerns you speak of to others. And please note one thing in His response: He won’t be angry, and He won’t pass along your anger to others.

- - - - -

I’m in the ICU with mom now. Do you think she should sign a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order?

I felt that I should become a priest. God was calling me, but now I am not so sure. Could you pray for me?

I lost my job today.

Those words were spoken to me yesterday by people who were not trying to make me mad. They are people with much bigger problems than the ones I heard ranted about all week, but we spoke calmly about them. They were doing something, even as Jesus would, about the problems they saw. Even if it was only to ask someone: “Will you pray for me?”

These are people of integrity, faith --- and action. And I have every confidence that their actions will be wise ones and WILL accomplish something other than just making themselves or someone else mad.

There is much to worry about in this world, my friends. Let us pray we all have the courage and faith to become parts of the solution, and not just furtherance of the problems.

(One final point: I said at the start that I’m mad and it’s your fault. You’re forgiven ---- this time!)

And Peace be with your spirit.

I'm In Prison

2011-12-11T15:32:00.001-05:00

I look sadly around me at these narrow confines of my daily life. Blank walls face me on three sides, and on the other I can see some light and hope, but immovable bars keep me from going there. I once lived in that light, and so I can envy those out there who don’t realize how blessed they are, but my choices put me here. Each day my routine is the same: waking, eating, thinking about what used to be – or perhaps what someday might be, and sleeping. All around me are people I have gotten to know very well, but they are still strangers. I have no friends in this life.

At this time of year people tell me I should look forward to Christmas. The only thing I look forward to is the passing of yet another day, in hopes that perhaps someday it will be my last in this cell, this prison where I live. I heard that today is supposed to be a special day, a day of joy, a pause in our Advent anticipation of Christmas, to be happy about all we that have --- and all we are yet to receive. But I feel no joy here in my prison. I feel I have nothing, and I see no end to this life.

How many of us go through our life thinking those thoughts? How often has our prayer been: “Why me, Lord?” How often have we sat in our chair and felt totally alone --- even as the noise of our family, friends, and co-workers echoed around us. For some of us it is a clinical thing, depression, beyond our control without medical help. But for many of us it is just another choice we’ve made in our life. We choose to be unhappy; we choose never to smile. We choose not to leave our cell --- but the door is unlocked.

I think part of our problem is envy; we look at others and see happiness, and do not realize that they too have times of sadness and being alone. We all do. Life here is not eternal happiness; there is another place for that. Life here is joy and sorrows, happiness and sadness, smiles and frowns, and sometimes boredom. The key point to remember, however, is all the “ands” which describe our life. It is not only one thing or another, it is an alternating of good and bad things. In eternal matters, Adam got tossed from Eden, but Jesus came and said: “Come on, I know a way back in.” That is the ultimate spiritual bad and good, and our life is in between them, filled with lesser bads and goods.

The materialism which now surrounds Christmas is part of the problem for many of us. We look at things we have or don’t have, and envy and a whole lot of other sins enter our thoughts. The problem is the “things” we see; but Christmas isn’t a holiday about earthly things, it’s about heavenly things, that beginning of “the way back in.” Christmas is the beginning of that cell door of our life being unlocked. In our sadness we sometimes think I see no end to this life. But it IS ending, it HAS ended! The door has been opened, and the key was His birth. It started a new way for us to live; it gave us a new hope --- no matter how bad or sad our life may be at any moment. It is not an eternal lockup in a tiny small place. Our life has an open door to it, into happiness, into eternity. There is one big qualifier, however, to our being able to achieve that exit into the light, to obtain that happiness which can be with us throughout any ups and downs we may incur in this life. To achieve that happiness, we have to choose it.

One of the blessings and curses of this life is our free will. We can choose, and we can choose to do good or bad, to be happy or be sad. I know you want to say: “I can choose to be happy? With all these sad things around me? With death and sorrows and pains and poverty, I should choose to be happy?” The answer is yes, you should. The thing about free will is that no one else can choose how you feel but you. The martyrs were singing as they went to their deaths. The Romans were amazed that despite all their tortures and sadness “How much they loved one another.” The early Christians chose to be happy in their faith. I fear most of us have forgotten.

Our Christian faith puts a joy in our heart which remains there DESPITE all the toils and pains of this earth. The door to heaven is open again! Our toils and pains today are our working long hours for a promotion; they are our lifting heavy loads to build a beautiful house; they are our courting of the most beautiful person in the world to be our spouse. Work and toil and pains? Of course! But they are to get the thing we want more than anything else, our happiness.

The door is open. Whenever we see ourselves in a tiny room, in a dark place, in a dull routine which seems to not have an end, in a life alone without friends, we must choose to walk away from those places and thoughts. No matter what is going on around us, death, pain, poverty, drudgery, we can choose happiness, and we can choose to work for it.

Christ died, and it was one of the happiest events in all history. The door was opened! While people around Him may have cried because they didn’t understand, nowhere is it recorded that Jesus cried. He chose to obtain happiness, even if pain and sadness were along the way. You can too.

Waiting For New Life

2011-12-10T10:30:00.000-05:00

Come O long- awaited One

I saw a young woman kneeling in front of the Blessed Sacrament, as her husband sat nearby. Late into the night she stayed on her knees; she seemed to have much to pray about. Perhaps it was to give praise and thanksgiving; certainly that should have been her first prayer. (It should be our first also.) But I felt I had seen the couple at mass one day, alone, in my parish where so many couples are blessed with large families, and I had a feeling that this night, this Advent night, her thoughts might not have been on Jesus’ coming, but on her own waiting for a child, another one long awaited and desired. And so she knelt in peace and quiet, before her God.

I had thoughts recently on the fears that many of us are facing; our lives are so often full of trials, and we worry about our unknown futures, and fearing the worst. But if we have faith, I reflected, our God can overcome our worst fears. He really and truly is a God who loves us, and that is where our faith must be, trusting in that love, and knowing that because He loves us He will do everything in His power to care for us. “Doing everything in His power” --- and who may I ask is more powerful? We really should laugh at our worries about the future and what WE must do about it. What we should DO is have faith, because Our Father will provide for His children, whom He loves. He said so.

Still … we can have faith and yet pray about the future. We have a free will. I think a good prayer is that we use that free will and talents given us to help bring about a future He would desire, one good for us and others --- although not necessarily the one we would think to pray for. Not my will, but Thy will be done. And to strengthen our faith in the future, a good future, we can look back on all the good that God has done in the past for us and others, to see proofs of His love.

I hope the childless couple can find faith there: He long ago promised to Abram that his family would be as numberless as the stars --- surely there is room for one more, for this couple, if it is His will. He once promised a nation that a messiah would come to fulfill all their dreams, and He did come, and He gave them more than they could ever have dreamed of. They waited and trusted in His coming for a long time, and He did come.

We wait for many dreams, each of us. Some dreams are for good things, the blessings which God has promised to those who love Him: sons and daughters, peace, healing, love, or even just a calming of our fears. These are things we can want and pray about, and can expect that our prayers will be answered, in accordance with His will. We need not worry. And for those who pray about our Church, our country, and our world, He also promised justice --- and mercy. These too are good things to pray for.

One thing which we sometimes pray for, however, is not a good thing. We pray for things to remain as they are, or to revert to as they were, but often the answer to our prayer entails change, the beginning of a new phase in our life, and not a continuation of the old. And change is hard to accept. Our prayers are answered, but not as we expected and so we don’t see the new life of promise in answer to our prayers. Remember the Jews, who prayed for and expected a Messiah-conquerer. He did come as was promised, however He came not to conquer their enemies, but their hearts. And many found they couldn’t accept this answer to their prayers. Their long awaited new life came, and they did not recognize it, or Him.

However bad we may think our life is now, however long we think we’ve been waiting for it to get better (or be as good as it once was), we need to have faith that God will bring us a new life, one happier than this. And not one to just answer our immediate prayers and needs, just one child or a temporary healing or a period of peace, but an eternally happy life, measured in love. We can be confident of that because of His love, it has already started. Our God came down to earth, to show us how much He loves us. And even the angels proclaimed the result: “Peace on earth to men of good will.”

Pray for better times? Much of what we desire is already here. All we need pray for is our awareness and participation and thanksgiving as it unfolds in each of our lives. Waiting for a new life? It is already within our hearts. And to ensure we accept those blessings already given us, all we need do is hold out our hand, and trust that even though the road may be rocky, He will guide us to even more than we could desire.

Waiting? That’s okay, our future is not yet here for us. But worrying, that is not okay. Trusting, that’s something we can and must begin to do right now. The Jews waited and worried. But for us Advent is a time of waiting but not worrying; it’s a time for trusting --- for we KNOW what God has done for us already. And it started on Christmas Day, with the coming of the long-awaited One.

Whatever you may think you are waiting for or praying about to improve your life, do you really think it could be better than this Gift which has already been given us? God was given to us in answer to our prayers. And the Holy Spirit was sent to be with us always. The New Life we think we want is already in our hearts, a present waiting to be opened, a Gift from our Father.

Do not be anxious.

Review of New Christmas Books

2011-12-07T11:30:00.004-05:00

I just finished reading two books released for the holiday season by authors who seem to be setting themselves up as “Christmas authors,” each having written stories set in the season at least once before. Glenn Beck’s new book, The Snow Angel, follows on his book The Christmas Sweater. Richard Paul Evans new book, Lost December, follows on his books The Christmas List, Finding Noel, The Christmas Box Miracle, and of course the hugely successful The Christmas Box. I liked all of their prior works, and was not surprised to find I liked these two also.

Both of these authors write books that are relatively short (large print, small pages, lots of white space), and have short chapters. Beck’s 270-page book has 18 chapters, and Evan’s 341 page book has 51 chapters. The plots in each are relatively simple and easy to follow, not involving huge numbers of characters or scene changes. The short chapters coupled with the colorful artwork highlighting chapter changes are visually attractive. I believe these books would be ideal Christmas presents for teens or near-teens, who might be prone to short attention spans. If they read at all, the books should hold their interest and, perhaps most importantly, present a moral message to them that comes across loud and clear. They will make young minds think --- most assuredly a good thing. I have already written a dedication on The Snow Angel to my Goddaughter, who will receive it this year.

The dust cover describes The Snow Angel as “a poignant tale about family, forgiveness, and the freedom to live a future free of the past.” The lead character, Rachel suffered an abusive childhood, and then fell into an abusive marriage. She shields her young daughter Lily from the tragic parts of her life, and her father, but the daughter sees and understands, perhaps better than Rachel, what is going on. The story walks through their coming to know that other people care, and that the past doesn’t have to define the future. And at the end, old memories are stirred, in Rachel and in an Alzheimer’s patient at a local nursing home. And both come to realize that there was much good in their past, if only they can remember. And the bad parts were in the past, and they can stay there.

Lost December is a modern tale of the Parable of the Prodigal Son. The main character, Luke, leads a blessedly sheltered, yet full life. Working at his father’s business at a very young age he quickly advances to be a very astute manager in his national business chain. After college, Luke plans to take over the business he knows so well, but his father insists he attend graduate school first, to get his advanced degree and “see the world”. And so he goes off to Wharton, living far away from home for the first time. And he is rather quickly taught many things about “the world” which he did not know. Graduating, and with a million dollar trust fund he returns home to tell his father he does not want to return to run his business, but rather to go out and “see the world,” traveling around it with college friends.

Evans goes on to tell the story of Luke’s travels and of his “friends”. Luke learns the ways of the world which he did not previously understand --- and learns that all is not good there. And he also learns that “friends” are not just people you hang around with, but that true friends are few and far between. Luke quickly wastes his money and in the end is broke and homeless. But of course, that is not the end.

Evens tells a very believable tale that reminds young and old alike that life is not just fun and games, nor should it be. And also that the best things you ever receive in this world are the things you work for. And that family, love and loyalty are of most importance.

I would give either of these two books, or both, to someone young or old --- or buy them for myself and just nestle down on the couch near the tree, and enjoy a present to myself this Christmas. I read both of these quick-reads once, but I just may do so again.

Beginnings and Endings

2011-12-01T13:23:00.001-05:00

In the Church we celebrate beginnings of things, birthdays and anniversaries, but in our lives we often witness and bear (without much celebration) many endings. I sometimes think, in this matter, that Christ did not fully live a human life as we do today. He missed some of the futility we see, in constantly witnessing endings or downward slides in the whole world, and we even see evidences of our own end to come. It is so easy to see darkness in our days, and the celebrating beginnings from so long ago sometimes seems a forced thing, even a beginning as glorious and miraculous as the birth of our God.

I think our moroseness is magnified by our focus on only those two things, the good of so long ago and the bad we see to come. Endings, death hangs over us like a dark shadow, even when not yet here. Our mind slips so easily to focus on the darkness around us, and we see no way out. Our life seems only destined to endings: our lovely little children grow up and move away, our friends move on, our parents die, and so do our spouses, and dreadfully sometimes even our children. And so must we. It is so easy to be weighed down by the bad things which seem to be everywhere --- aren’t they the only things reported in the news?

What we do not so easily see is: today. Today, in all its glory and mystery, is a wonderful thing. Celebrations of the past and worries of the future absorb us, but today is amazing. Could you even imagine what someone from 10,000 years ago would think about things of today? “You mean you have permanent shelters from the weather --- and even avoid going out into any weather? Why? You mean food is brought to you, any kind of food? Why would you want more than one thing to eat? I own a weapon I made, but you own a WHAT?? Why would you want to own some huge machine, bigger than you are, to move around in? Did your feet stop working? I can’t imagine living in the world you describe, and I can’t imagine why you would want to either!” Today is indeed a day of glory and mystery, in this country in which no one starves, and the poor are those who have smaller televisions (I wouldn’t even begin to explain that to someone from long ago).

We don’t see today and ourselves as we really are. We are like stalks of wheat, in the rich, vast field of mankind. We’re just one of many. Thinking on today, it seems to us that we exist for only three things: 1) To have some part of us, like grains of wheat, used for nourishment of our community, although in truth they gain nourishment from us in ways we don’t fully understand. 2) We exist to have some grains spread on the soil, to create new life. Oh, this new life is not us, but in some strange way it is part of who we are. Who we are today will go on through new life. And we are aware of one other fact, 3) We will die, and fall to earth and again perhaps in some strange way fertilize the growth of others, although we can’t comprehend how this might happen, or even if it will, but it does somehow seem part of what happens in this grain field of mankind. It gives us a little hope that our lives might matter.

We are so foolish in thinking that we know and understand all the things of our lives. Like the wheat, we see only the obvious three outcomes for our lives, but so many things exist which remain unseen to us. Just because we can’t see them does not mean they are not real, but only that they are not seen as material things, and our reality extends beyond the seen --- we don’t fully understand the total reality of our being. The spiritual part of us is unseen.

There is the wind, which lazily brushes us each day, even as the Spirit of God does. Air so part of our surroundings we don’t think of it. Yet its very composition gives us nourishment when we breathe, an event we don’t even think about. And the breeze refreshes us and cools us in ways we don’t really understand. And strangely, even as the breeze moves us, our swaying creates a breeze which moves others. We don’t will it to happen, but our very existence, blocking one breeze creates another breeze. We influence this world by our very existence, in ways we will never understand. There may be some other stalks of grain which lived, only by the blessings of the breeze we created for them. And we’ll never even be aware of it.

Our death, like the breeze we create in living, causes a fertilized soil for others to grow in. Our death also matters and influences other lives in ways we’ll never understand. Both our living and our dying matters in this world, and despite all we think we know, we’ll never understand this spiritual dimension.

It does indeed matter that we lived, and our death is not some dark cloud hanging over our life, it is just part of our life, the fulfillment of this, our life that matters. I think that we are often confused on this subject because we don’t understand life itself. We start, we breathe, we grow, and in some strange way we’ll always continue. It is such a complex thing for a little stalk of wheat to understand.

Yes it is. And that’s where faith comes in, accepting that which we cannot understand, yet all the evidences around us give proofs of its existence. There is a God; there is a spiritual life, a spiritual part of our being.

Somehow we know there is a farmer, nourishing all this grain field, and putting it to best use. We know that weeds exist – the things we worry about, yet somehow they have always been overcome in the past. We look at what is going on in the Church today, in our country, and even in the world. Is the end coming, we wonder? How can these things be made healthy again? Will the weeds choke off all the plants of life, and overcome the beautiful fields of grain?

These things we will not know today. We cannot see the future. But man is blessed with being able to remember the past. The end seemed near many times there, also. But it did not happen. And the Farmer once did appear among us --- it is recorded in our history --- and He promised He would never leave us. He called it the new covenant. The field will always be watched over by Him. We need faith in that promise. If we do indeed see darkness, we need trust that the darkness will only bring rain, water that nourishes us and makes us grow even stronger. Although we cannot, today, imagine how.

Have faith. I have risen and am still with you. Do not lose heart.

There is much to celebrate this Christmas.

Wishes and Miracles

2011-11-28T11:22:00.002-05:00

I’ve written some about the miracles which have occurred in my life, and most recently had a guest-post by someone who proclaimed a miracle in her life, but over the weekend I was reading some of the sermons by Bl. John Henry Newman (I’m almost done with the 1700-page book of his sermons). The one I read one was titled: Miracles No Remedy For Unbelief (Sermon 6, Book 8).

John Henry did not use the word wishes in his sermon, but to make his and my point more quickly, I shall. In Egypt, the Jews wished they were not slaves, and God made it so. The Jews wished they could escape the army following them into the plains, and God made it so. The Jews wished for water in the desert, and God made it so. The Jews wished for food in the desert, and God made it so. The Jews wished for meat, a particular food, and God made it so. You get my point with this list: As long as the Jews got their wishes, their list of wishes seemed to be endless. What they wished for was the genie in the lamp, a God who would do their wishes at their command, treating THEM as the Gods.

A number of things were happening here in the passages from Exodus. In the beginning the Jews wished for something which they needed, sustenance for life itself, but by the time of the latter requests, they asked for things they wanted. And a key point is that they asked for things THEY wanted, material things, which they wanted right now. They had no thought about spiritual needs, nor what God wanted, and had no thoughts about the future. Something was going on which they did not understand: Their wishes were about what they wanted, but the subsequent miracles were about what God wanted. As long as the two remained in harmony the Jews were happy. But when they wished for things contrary to the will of God, He again sent them miracles, but these miracles were in the form of punishments. One of those punishments would go on for centuries: as a result of their worshipping the golden calf, they were commanded to offer sacrifices to God of those very animals they and the pagans once worshipped, as a reminder of who REALLY was God.

John Henry points out the strangeness of this: the Jews saw gigantic miracles, the size of which has not been seen since. Plagues were sent on the whole country of Egypt. Specific children (the first born) were killed. The waters of the Red Sea parted. The largest most powerful army in the world was slaughtered, without the Jews losing a man. Food came down from heaven in the desert. Now THOSE were certainly some miracles! And yet they didn’t seem to have any impact on the Jews. The laws of nature were suspended again and again before their eyes; the most marvelous signs were wrought at the word of God’s prophets, and for their deliverance; yet they did not obey their great Benefactor at all better than men now-a-days who have not these advantages. Hard as it is to believe, miracles certainly do not make men better; the history of Israel proves it.

Advent is a time of preparation for the gift of Christmas, the gift of Jesus Himself. But while Jesus was a great gift to mankind, to each of us personally, we have to remember and focus on a key point of His coming: WHY? The Jews accepted the miracles and all God did for them, but they were too focused on WHAT they received to consider WHY they received it. Just as the Jews were being opened up to a new way of life with the Exodus, so with Jesus were we. And it is a life we must embrace, this destiny now open before us. In their wishing the Jews might have wished for everything, a heaven here on earth, but heaven is not to be here. Even Jesus only opened the doors of heaven for us, but it is not fully here. Even as God led the Jews on the pathway He intended, Jesus leads us on the pathway intended for us. But we must choose to go along that path. We must not only look at what He did, including the miracles He even does today, but why He did so. We must go along the path He laid out, the path to a growing holiness, a more heavenly existence until we obtain the final fulfillment He promised. We must grow in faith. We must change our hearts.

Let us then put aside vain excuses; and, instead of looking for outward events to change our course of life, be sure of this, that if our course of life is to be changed, it must come from within. Let us rouse ourselves and act as reasonable men, before it is too late; let us understand, as a first truth of religion, that love of heaven is the only way to heaven. Sight, like visible miracles, will not move us; else why did Judas persist in covetousness in the very presence of Christ? Let us understand that nothing but the love of God can make us believe in Him or obey Him; and let us pray Him, who has “prepared for them that love Him, such good things as pass man’s understanding, to pour into our hearts such love towards Him, that we, loving Him above all things, may obtain His promises, which exceed all that we can desire.”

Wishing for miracles? No, desire His will, His promises, which exceed all that you could wish for. It all starts with a faith, the beginning of a new course. A miracle would not indeed convert you, but it could be the first step toward thorough conversion; (and a) turning point of your life.

And then, of course my friends, once started along that path, whether miracles occur in answer to our prayers or not: Do Not Be Anxious.

Thanksgiving Praise --- From the Hospital

2011-11-24T17:15:00.002-05:00

I received this email from a friend, and I offer this "guest-post" as a reminder of what it REALLY means to be thankful:

Hi Tom. Happy Thanskgiving again! It's been a long day today as my mother continues her recovery and is in quite a bit of pain from the internal bleeding from the IR procedure, but I can give you the following praise to pass along in your blog.

-----

On Monday night I was terrified. If the procedure for opening my mom's arteries in her right leg failed, the surgeons were considering other life-changing options [none of which my mom wanted to consider, and none that I wanted to consider for her, especially for someone of her age]. After leaving the hospital really late, I returned to my house to get ready for the next day and, more importantly, to pray, like I had never prayed before. Now, I could have ignored the inner urge from the Holy Spirit and gone about the 100s of things that I left unattended over the past few days (I was in my mother's hospital room nearly 24/7 during the last 7 days), but I didn't. I opened my Bible, for the first time in quite a while, and knelt by the bedside, reading before I prayed.

The first piece of paper that slipped out of my Bible was a copy of a sermon from 2002 (interestingly enough, that was the year of my mother's 1st major bypass surgery...which remained relatively successful until the past year, and definitely until the last week). The sermon focused on trust -- Is God worth trusting? When your life (or the life of a loved one) is threatened, where do you look?

The first part of the sermon focused on Elijah, and the second part concentrated on Peter. This is where I will direct quote from the sermon:

----
Peter gets out of the boat. This is an incredible thing [for several reasons].

The Sea of Galilee is known for its deadly storms. It's narrow, but it's very long and become very wavy in a bad storm. If you were a fisherman and you lived your life fishing on that lake, you probably had friends die when those sudden storms came up.

The disciples are out there on the lake, by themselves, and they see Jesus, or a figure, walking on the water and the very first thing they think is, it's a ghost. You wonder why. Had they ever seen a ghost before? No. But, for some reason, they don't know who this is, and they think there is a ghost walking on the water. Jesus makes it clear that it's Him. And Peter says, "If it is You, then ask me to come to You across the water." -- a very, very trusting thing to do. But it shows something about Peter's heart. Peter loved to go wherever Jesus was. Later when Jesus is seen on the shore, Peter simply jumps out of the boat and swims to the shore. Not willing to wait until the boat makes it to the shore because his heart is to see Jesus. He wants Jesus. He wants to be where Jesus is. He wants everything that Jesus has to offer.

So, he gets out of the boat. The first step was the hard one. Imagine, your foot's going over the edge and you're about to stand on water. This isn't a typical event. Especially the first time. This is one of those miracles that was particularly hard because there was no precedent for this. There was precedent for splitting seas and splitting rivers, but walking along watching the water on both sides of you, or even just standing on the water -- this was a first. And so, he takes that first step. After that it was easy. He kept taking steps -- second step, third step, fourth step. But, the first step was the hard one. Do you think he turned around and said, "Andrew, have a rope ready."?

And then Peter makes the mistake that is easy for all of us to make, he suddenly realizes what an amazing thing this is: he is standing on the Sea of Galilee in the middle of a storm! He then makes the classic mistake, which is all so easy to make: he takes his eyes off of Jesus and he looks at the circumstances -- [Peter to himself] Here I am, violating gravity. Here I am in a storm. What am I doing out here?

Peter takes his eyes off of Jesus, he looks at the storm and his immediate response is he starts to fall. Jesus is immediately at his side, and pulls him up. He doesn't let Peter go down the first time or a second time to teach him a good lesson. Jesus doesn't wave good-bye to the disciple that doubted. Jesus pulls him up. But, Jesus reminds him, when you're in the middle of a storm and you're walking on the water, don't take your eyes off of Me.

That's always the temptation. We're surrounded by the storms all the time. Sometimes the calm in our life is only the eye of the hurricane. And the bottom line is if we take our eyes off of Jesus, we will get blown away; we will go down. The only security, the only saftey we have is to keep our gaze constantly fixed on Jesus Himself.

Peter loved Jesus. Peter wanted Jesus. Peter risked everything and ultimately gave everything for Jesus. After Pentecost, Peter is a great spirit-filled evangelist who, in Rome, was willing to lay down this life for the One Who loved him first, because Peter learned the lesson: never, ever, ever take your eyes off of Jesus. No matter what situation or circumstance is clamoring for attention, look to Jesus. No matter how much the storm is raging, look to Jesus. Because only there can we be safe. When Jesus says "without Me you can do nothing", that is exactly what He meant.
----

Wow! Fairly powerful sermon and exactly what I needed to read, but the real blessing came when I opened the Bible directly to Acts 9:32-43. The first 4 verses focused on Peter healing Aeneas at Lydda and the remaining verses focused on Peter raising Dorcas at Joppa.

The next thought that occurred to me was that if Peter, who learned the lesson of keeping his eyes on Jesus in the middle of a storm, could go on (in Jesus name and power) to actually heal someone who had been paralyzed for 8 years, certainly I could focus through prayer on this same Jesus and believe Him for His healing power to reach my mother in a hospital. And, He did. Despite all the unfavorable circumstances, my mother's age, the nature of the artery failure, the fact that the first surgery on the preceding Friday failed, the doubting surgeons -- Jesus overcame! He worked through the talents and skills of the hospital's leading interventional radiologist and did something that the vascular surgeons didn't think was possible. PRAISE GOD!!!

Now, I'm not going to say that mom's ready to run a marathon (she has a long recovery road ahead of her with physical therapy), but God did intervene in exactly the way I prayed that night, and in the next morning as I knelt before her hospital bed.

So, while this isn't the Thanksgiving I expected (with a dinner table full of different foods, and family and friends at the house), it is certainly still right for me to give thanks to God, for saving my mom's life on Tuesday, and for being here with us now in the hospital, even as she struggles through the pain. And, I've learned, how each day it is a choice to focus our eyes on Jesus, and it's a path that must be chosen every day, in every circumstance -- bad or good.

Review: What to Do When Jesus Is Hungry

2011-11-23T10:53:00.003-05:00

Fr. Apostoli is an appropriate person to have written this book. As one of the founders of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, he lives among the poor and experiences firsthand what he writes about.

Fr. Apostoli explains the theological (faith, hope and love) and moral (prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude) virtues and how they must find expression in the works of mercy. As the Catechism defines it, “The works of mercy are charitable actions by which we come to the aid of our neighbor.” This book has a chapter on each of the Corporal Works of Mercy: Give food to the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, visit the imprisoned, and bury the dead, and it also has a chapter on each of the Spiritual Works of Mercy: Instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, admonish the sinner, bear wrongs patiently, forgive offenses, comfort the sorrowful, and pray for the living and the dead. I enjoyed how Fr. Apostoli intermixed his personal experiences in his explanations with quotes from various saints or teachers.

I especially enjoyed his explanations on the spiritual works of mercy, which are so easily forgotten by the masses which are focused on material things.

• Many of the problems we encounter have emotional roots. If we encourage people to grow authentically in their emotional life, they will grow spiritually as well. It is like “dispelling the demons” of discouragement, self-pity, apathy, fear, and despair. This is a genuine work of mercy.
• The very purpose for which God created us, namely, to share eternal life with him in the Kingdom of Heaven dictates that in seeking to admonish the sinner, we need to admonish ourselves first.
• Jesus came for two reasons: he came to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. (Dorothy Day)
• It takes a great deal of patience to accept people and situations that are unexpected, or inconvenient, or irritating. This means that, many times, we end up having to clean up after them. Usually we experience varying degrees of anger toward these people. We might even react: “Who needs these people?” It is precisely at these moments that Jesus would say to us, “You do, and that is why I sent these people to you.” It’s precisely these kinds of people who help us to grow in patience.
• His greatest expression of forgiveness occurred when he prayed upon the Cross for those who were putting him to death: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what the do.”
• Jesus tells us that our love must be a love that costs us something to give.

The works of mercy, Fr. Apostoli explains, are the outward actions of our virtues, for our neighbors and ourselves. But the Corporal Works of Mercy should first be sought for our neighbor, while the Spiritual Works of Mercy should first be sought for ourselves. The reason differing priority is that while our neighbor will gratefully accept our gifts to aid his body, he won’t accept our attempts to spiritually help him unless he see that we are practicing those spiritual actions in our daily lives. We can say that we practice the Corporal Works of Mercy by just writing a check, but to practice the Spiritual Works of Mercy we not only have to do something, we have to live it.

I think What to Do When Jesus is Hungry provides the reader with a simple scorecard to comparatively measure how successful he is in this task of “growing in holiness.” I think many people would like to think they are “good people” because of the corporal works of mercy which they do --- and which can so readily be seen by others. But if we are really scoring how well our spiritual lives are advancing, we need to look at how well we are growing in the Spiritual Works of Mercy, administered to ourselves first, and then others.

As the book so softly explains: This is a challenge.

Decisions, Decisions

2011-11-20T17:08:00.004-05:00

To tree or not to tree, that is the question. --- Thomas ShakesFear

It’s Thanksgiving week again --- already. Where does the time go? I wish I could spend Thanksgiving Day with relatives or friends, especially this year I think they may need my presence, but I’ll probably spend it here with mom. Her caregiver usually asks for holidays off to be with her family, and I always agree. I guess it’s right for me to be with mom and give thanks with her, although she no longer remembers any prayers, nor even the day. So I’ll celebrate and give thanks alone. Some things you just do because they’re right, not that you get any personal pleasure from them. And I think that, perhaps, these are some of the hardest things we do, discerning and then acting to do what we know is right.

Remember a few weeks back, the bare little plant I brought into the house, bare because I left it out in the cold too long? I displayed a picture of it here, bare-branched except for a single flower, which seemed to indicate it was happy to be in out of the cold.

Well look at it now. New leaves are emerging as it sits in the East-facing window, enjoying the morning light; perhaps it may be blooming again soon. But before then it will be time to replace it in the window with the Christmas tree (Good grief!! It seems like I just took it down yesterday!) When I put up the Christmas tree, I will relegate the plant to a dark corner in the dining room. I think it may be sad there (in part because I often forget to water it there).

What to do? Decisions, decisions. I enjoy coming home to see the Christmas tree each night, and all the ornaments with the many memories associated with each one. But I don’t enjoy putting the tree up, nor the outside lights for that matter. There are so many other “Christmas things” to do. Outside, I enjoy seeing the lights, and the tree brightly lit in the living room window, but do my neighbors really enjoy the display as they pass by, and do they think on why I celebrate so? (And what do they think as the display typically stays up through the winter, since I don’t like taking it down either.)

I enjoy the Christmas tree and lights, but perhaps no one else does, or at least certainly not as much as I. Living alone, no one comes to my house; inside the decorations give me joy, but they are a joy for me alone. And then there’s that little plant, now happily growing in the sunlight. I’ll get my selfish joys, while it goes into the corner. Decisions, decisions.

I wrote a few days ago about how God sometimes sends us pains and sorrows, His chastisements to teach us, or His testing of what we say we believe. And I discussed our reactions, and our need to trust in Him. But this discussion about the tree and plant, focused on things which make me happy reminds me about another question: Can God trust us? When God decides to send us sorrows beyond our control, the question is: Do we trust His decision, that this is a good thing even if we don’t understand why He sends us pain? But God gives us freedom, and often things happen to us, even bad things, which are not sent by God but happen because of our choices. Much of our life is not beyond our control, but is the result of our decisions.

When God decides to send us something, we are challenged: Do we trust His decision? When we decide something, however, the question is: Can God trust our decision? He taught us, sent His only Son to show us, and sends us graces to help us, but will we choose to do the right thing when faced with a decision, or will we choose to do the right thing --- for us? That is the real decision we often face. Can God trust us?

It’s hard enough for us to not eat a piece of candy when we’re on a much-needed diet, especially when no one else is around, but there are so many bigger decisions we face every day when we consider what is good for our neighbor versus what is good for us. We see so many examples of people who choose to love themselves first --- all we need to do is look at our elected officials for examples of that. They act as if we elected them for the purpose of getting them rich. It’s rare to see them making an unselfish decision. In fact, we see so many examples of selfish actions it almost seems as if that IS the right action: Me first, why not?

We all face those decisions almost every day: Do we love our neighbor first, or ourselves? God taught us, sent His Son to give us example, and gives us daily graces to make the right decision, but can He trust us to decide rightly? And while we daily face these decisions of me versus my neighbor, there also comes into our lives, on occasion, even more difficult decisions, life and death decisions not of do I love myself more than my neighbor, but do I love myself more than God.

We will all die; our life’s trip will end. And for each of us God waits at the final station, a heaven of joy forever, us and God together. Yet some of us are reluctant to leave this world when our journey is ending. We’re not totally sure God and happiness are waiting there. We trust in this life, even with its pains that we so often see, and we so quickly forget blessed are they who have not seen, yet believed. And for some of us who are still on our journey, we only reluctantly let friends and family complete theirs. We know they will obtain eternal happiness and yet we wail: “But I won’t be happy with them gone.” Ah, how easily we forget the right decision at that point: and so we choose to pray for our own happiness versus theirs --- and the God who waits for them.

We all face those very difficult decisions at some time in our life. Choosing to put our happiness aside and be happy with others’ happiness (and God’s will) is so difficult a decision that that it has been given a unique word in all human languages to describe it. It is called “love”.

There are so many things for me to do this Christmas, and this year in particular there are so many in need that I should find a way to remember. I think I’ll focus on them this Christmas and forego my pleasure of the Christmas tree and the outside lights. It’s a small thing to give up, and at least my little plant will be happy with it. And perhaps even God will be happy with my decision, as I try to focus on imitating Him this season and the example He came to earth to give us: an example of how to love, how to really love.

Love: It’s a decision, not an emotion.

Is This a Test?

2011-11-17T11:31:00.001-05:00

As I sat in the chapel I happened to look down at the knees on my pants. They appeared to be getting a bit shiny. “Oh well,” I thought, “Better them than the butt of my pants.” If there was to be one outward sign of my activities, I’d rather it be shown that I kneel more than I sit and do nothing. For kneeling is REALLY doing something.

I thought back on why I now so gladly kneel --- I choose never to use a kneeler in church, but kneel on the floor when I pray. That started when the pews were filled in the overcrowded church in Medjugorje, and I chose to join those in the aisles and SRO areas so the more elderly might sit. Kneeling then, during the consecration of the mass and the full hour-long rosary each night, was done on the concrete floor. I remember on the flight over there thinking that I might attend one of those long nightly services, but it happened I was there every night, on my knees. And I remember on the last morning before I left, the man who shared a bedroom with me in the village house: in penance he traveled the mile to church on his knees. (As I passed him on my way, I recall thinking about the women of that village area, who I saw making the 2-hour climb I took along a steep rocky path to visit the large cross, high on a hill overlooking the village. Those women knew what penance was.) While at that village and in the Church of St. James there, it was all so clear to me, the mass, Jesus’ sacrifice, and His presence amidst all those who believed --- and among those who came to believe. I thought I understood it all, and I’d never forget, but I did.

On the very first Sunday back home, the church I attended instructed the people to sit during the consecration, “to see better.” I thought: “I know what is going on there on the altar now; I can’t sit!” But when everyone else did, so did I. To be kind to myself, let me say I felt very uncomfortable, even if “I could see better.” I realized those sitting around me couldn’t see though, not really, and especially when the host was raised and offered to the Father and the man next to me chose, at that moment, to open the church bulletin to read. And I knelt down then, and have been kneeling on the floor as a reminder to me ever since. It was a test, even as He gave one to Peter: “Do you love Me?”

It is written that He chastises those whom He loves, like the favorite toy that is taken from a child and he’s made to stand in the corner --- or like for us when the parent, or spouse, or child is taken from us and we feel if we are now standing alone in our pain. He chastises us in love, but it still hurts. But in truth, while it hurts us, it hurts Him also. Chastisements are given to those who are loved, so that they might learn through the hard lessons of pain --- so they won’t forget. God did it to the Jews a number of times; sometimes despite the pain, they still don’t learn. Sometimes neither do we, as we focus on the pain and not the lesson to be learned, because we don’t trust the love with which the pain is given. Much of the learning to be gained by chastisement comes down to a single question: How much do you trust the one who is chastising you? If the parent makes you stand in the corner, how much do you really trust that the parent still loves you, and maybe is even crying, as you cry? The lesson of chastisements is that you need more faith. Learn to trust in God, and grow that trust.

But it doesn’t stop there. You might want to say: “Lord, I believe. Stop these pains already.” If you are truly at the point, of really believing and understanding, then God is watching over you in a different way. He is not chastising you that you might learn, but testing you that you might not forget, for we are so easily distracted by the cares and enticements of the world. But He does not abandon us. Sometimes tests are gentle nudges to our physical well-being, but stabs in our heart, like the man who began reading the church bulletin next to me. “Did you forget?” God is asking us. We are often reminded of our weakening faith through tests. And sometimes these can be pretty severe, just ask Job about that.

We had a man named Ken speak to our little men’s group a couple of weeks ago. Ken began speaking by saying “well, I’ve never spoken before a group before and so I don’t have any speech prepared. I was just asked to tell what’s been happening to me, and so here goes.” And he proceeded to tell us.

Ken had 17 children, 18 including the one who died very young. His wife home-schooled all of them; six were now in college, although he didn’t help them at all in that, he said. Things were good until 2007, when his business began feeling the effects of the downturn in the economy. Then other things began happening. His son was injured in a car wreck, and his girlfriend killed. He was asked to care for his elderly mother, and make room for one more. His dearly-beloved autistic nephew died. He was forced to visit Catholic Services for help. He asked one of his grown children, “Do you think you could get me a job in your company as a janitor?” Humbled, he slipped into depression. Yet through all this, he said, he prayed and went to daily mass. And then he was sued for the little he had left. Offering up his sufferings, he said he prayed: “I hope You’re putting all this to good use, Lord.” His home was foreclosed on by the bank. He filed bankruptcy.

Ken cared for his mom, and to his joy she came back to the church, and went to confession. God was caring for him, he opined, even in his sorrows. With eight kids still at home, he began talking to various non-profits, seeking a house large enough for his family, and one that he could afford on his now limited income from his business. He noted how he would drive around, with his kids in the van and praying the rosary together, as they looked at one house after another. Only weeks from eviction, he sought friends who would take his furniture and store it, although he did not know where he would place his family. Suddenly, a large job he had bid on (and didn’t expect to get) was awarded to his company, “And they even gave me a large up-front payment.” Then one week before the eviction date, a non-profit offered him a large house on their property at low rent. Things were looking better. And even the bank called: “If you will promptly leave on the eviction date, leaving the home in good condition, its ‘Cash for Keys’ program would pay him $8,000!”

Ken concluded: “Well, that’s all I have to say, except that God is good.”

Ken was blessed with a thriving company, many children, and a loving wife; everything seemed good in the world, and yet he was tested. It seems to me that wherever means for good are established in this world, they can be used as means for evil, turned from their original purpose. Kids were a blessing, but seemed a burden when Ken had no money to care for them or a place for them to stay. His company was a means to provide for his family, but a target for someone to sue. It seems wherever there is a great good, there is also a possibility for great evil --- remember the Tower of Babel? Remember nuclear arms race, which helped bring down the Russian empire, but now might threaten Israel and the entire Middle East? Remember the good things about the internet, and that now 10% of its use is for pornography? Remember the laws enacted to protect minorities, and that are now being used to persecute the Catholic Church? Praise God while things are good in our life, but don’t expect the happiness of heaven here on earth.

The phrase “The Tyranny of Evil” has great meaning. Good things can be used to bring about great evils in this world, and to us. And when these evils strike us personally it is so easy to panic. We want to fix things ourselves. We so easily forget, and lose faith that we are not alone. So many of the evils which happen to us are but tests of our faith: “Do you love Me?” We want to ask: “Why is this happening to me?” But we forget the answer which we have heard so many times, but forgotten.

Through the devil’s envy death entered the world. (Wisdom 2:24). Thou didst make Him for a little while lower than the angels .. (and) He Himself has suffered and been tempted, (so that) He is able to help those who are tempted. Take care, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. (Hebrews 2:4) In our times of trial, it is so easy to forget what we already know, but let us pray we are not forgetful when we are tested. Rather let us pray that we are like the blind man who called out in his trial: Jesus of Nazareth, have pity on me. And when asked by Jesus what he, in faith, would desire he responded: Lord, that I might see. (Mark 10:46-52).

This day I myself have many worries, and I have friends who are in failing marriages, who have loved ones on the battle fields overseas, who have loved ones who don’t recognize them anymore, who are losing their homes, or fear losing their jobs, and one who fears losing her leg in surgery this very day. I know all of these people, and know they are people of faith. But I pray that today, in their time of testing, they might remember that faith, and in their pains and trials might clearly hear the question: Do you love Me?

Perhaps there are some of us for whom our trials are really admonitions; we just can’t understand why these things are happening to us. To those I would say: “Seek and ye shall find.” Go and try to learn about this Jesus and His promises and example. Read the Scriptures and writings of the saints; get to know Him, and He will bless your fertilized ground with faith. But if the sufferings you feel today are trials, don’t panic. “Do Not Be Anxious!” Remember your faith in His promises. Remember that the devil envies us even though we were made less than the angels, because for a while God became one of us to remove the power of death the devil created. God made us good and in His image. Evil may severely test us, but it is only a test. We can pass this test if we just tell Him: “My Jesus, I trust in You.”

Are you undergoing a great trial today? Perhaps you need to get the knees of your pants a bit more shiny.

A Life Forgotten

2011-11-13T13:46:00.001-05:00

No greater love than to give life, and eternal Justice for Life to return that love.

I was praying the Glorious Mysteries of the rosary when I read that meditation line. Read it again please; look at the capital letters and see what it really means. I did that tonight.

I do not have any children; I was not so blessed. But then tonight I thought back, and remembered that once I was so blessed. A child was once conceived in my wife, but within a couple of months the doctor told her that it had died in her womb; her body would soon pass it out naturally, and it did. I thought back on that night when it happened and she called to me from the bathroom: “Come see how pretty it is” --- I do not even recall today if it was a boy or girl. But I told her I didn’t want to see.

How cold a man that was. “No greater love than to give life.” I didn’t feel love then, not really, and so I guess it was Justice that I did not give life. And Life did not return love to me. Neither I, nor my wife as she later admitted, knew if the child was mine.

(Many marriages arrive at crucial, painful points like this. Like a house engulfed by fire, they seem unsalvageable. It doesn’t have to reach this point, however. We must remember that a single broken window does not make a house a derelict one, but studies have shown that one un-repaired broken window, given the image of unimportance, will subtly encourage others to appear. It’s like sin in that regard. And then a spark may lead to a flaming disaster, fed by air from the broken windows. Too often we think we are alone in our trials, but we forget that there are repairmen for windows, and even in disasters, a Fireman. If we have faith, we need but call.)

I said I was not blessed with children, but tonight I realized that in fact I really was. It was only for a couple of months, but in fact a life was given to me and put in my care --- to love. But in my concerns about myself and my life, I had no room to love another. And so Justice took it away.

I prayed, I believe, for the first time tonight for my child. A life forgotten, by me it is true, but I am sure not by Him, the true Father who does not forget. I pray now often that I might imitate Him, but then I did not. And my actions then reflected the weak sincerity and love in my prayers. It would take about 15 years before I would finally learn how to pray, sincerely. During those years, I thought I was a good man --- and so did everyone else. It’s what we all wanted to believe, but we were wrong.

How I lived those early years of my life was, I believe, how many “good” people live: they follow the rules. But that doesn’t mean they like the rules, or even understand them. And certainly they don’t think about them. A light turns red at the intersection and your foot hits the brake; today is Sunday and you go to mass; everyone gets up and goes forward to receive the Eucharist, and so do you. You don’t think about the red light, the mass, or the Eucharist. Your mind wanders. But to the world all around, --- and to yourself, you are a “good” person.

The day I finally learned how to pray was the day I finally knew what was happening at the mass, and KNEW Who I received in the Eucharist. That wisdom was truly a gift; it was nothing I figured out for myself. I am so thankful, now, that I was given that gift. Since then, through prayer --- conversations with God --- I have truly come to know Him, and my life is so much better. I no longer say “I am a Catholic” in the same manner as “I own a red car.” I have been blessed with real faith.

I thought tonight about a life forgotten, one that was a gift to me and which I never really loved, nor prayed for. That was a tragedy. But I thought further and also remembered another life forgotten: me. My life, it too, was a gift to me, and one which I never really loved nor prayed for. And that too was a tragedy.

I’m sure I had a heavenly Father --- and mother, too --- Who often was looking down upon me, wondering. He saw me growing up, living my life, seeming happy in many ways, and for that He was somewhat happy, but certainly not proud. Oh He loved me for what I was, His child, a “good” person, but I think He saw me kind of like a runner He had trained and had high expectations for. I was quick out of the gate, and He cheered, but He grew concerned as I quickly fell behind. He wondered if I would win the race, or even finish. And me? I’m not even sure I knew I was in a race, and if I was even aware of His love, not really; I took it all for granted.

I think a lot of us lead lives like that, seeing ourselves as “good” people. We’re on the track of life totally unaware of the heavenly cheerleaders in the stands, rooting us on. To ourselves, we are a life forgotten, unaware that there is a race to be won. If we are concerned at all, it is about ourselves in relation to others. “Is my race shirt as pretty as theirs? Do I have new shoes like they do? If they are in this lane, am I following them like other “good” people? If they seem to be running without any pain, does it seem unfair that I hurt?” It’s so often just a focus on us.

And we rarely think about the finish line.

The race of our life is really about learning to love, and through love to give life to others, that Love might be given to us. It’s not about us being focused on loving ourselves first. Growing in holiness during this life isn’t about being always happy now. It’s a race and it is hard work, and sometimes painful. Growing in holiness is about eternal Justice returning the love we have given, eternally.

I think I’m making some progress in my own race. Oh, just because I’ve been running a while one might think it makes the race easier, it does not, nor do the pains and trials come any less frequently, and perhaps they come even more. But now I expect those pains and am prepared to accept them; I know they come with love. And, I pray, I also expect the blessings and am prepared to appreciate them, unlike the blessing of a life I once ignored.

I started this reflection thinking on a life, a blessing, I once ignored because I was so caught up in my pains. Life was hard, and I couldn’t see the blessings there, even the really big ones. Don’t get so caught up with your pains, my friends, as I was. You are very blessed.

I am better prepared today to be thankful for the years, the days, and the hours He gives to me. I remember this life, this blessing He has given me, and I will try to live it well, in joy and in sorrow, as His Son showed me. He lead a wonderful life, and accepted His pains. And I shall try also.

Sometimes at mass we think back on the sacrifice that Jesus made for us many years ago, and reflect on the Eucharist he instituted so He could be with us even today. And then we think: so He could be with us today? But look at us, really look at us: are we someone worthy of His sacrifice? And we worry, and are sad. We so easily forget, however, that He is our God, and a God outside of time. He didn’t just choose to die for us some day long ago, He chooses now, today, to die for us, just as we are. “Oh Lord I am not worthy,” we think and pray. But how dare we challenge His judgment on the value of our life, the one He is willing to die for now, and the value of all lives for that matter, each and every one, even those we don’t value. He died for them all.

And His was a life which was NOT forgotten. And I hope in His promises, and that mine shall not be forgotten either. Each day He looks and decides: we are important enough to die for.

11-11-11 11:11:11

2011-11-11T09:51:00.001-05:00

This is a moment like no other in history. The months, the days, the years, the hours, the minutes, and the seconds all strike ones, not once, but twice. I’m sure some think of this as some sort of magical thing, or perhaps an omen; an event no one shall ever see again on earth. It just sounds so special. Certainly for a people looking for something special to revel in, it is a day to take note of. But although in written form it is unique, it is not really special at all.

The number one signifies a uniqueness, it is true, but even as the above date and hour demonstrates, it IS unique but it is repeatable. There are lots of ones, even if each is unique. And I guess that’s what I was thinking about this morning. From a certain point of view I am just another person, and probably not that good of one at that. But from another point of view I am a unique person, like no other. At the bible study this morning the guys were discussing the words from Scripture: “I am a jealous God.” They were wondering what God has to be jealous about. I suggested that perhaps He is jealous because we are each one of those unique ones, like no other. Yes, He as God wants everyone, but He also wants THAT “one”, you, because you are totally unique like no other, like some precious diamond like no other found, and He cherishes that one and wants it, and is jealous if another lays claim to it. Another man suggested that God’s jealousy is like a parent who wants the love of his child. Even if he were a beloved teacher and hundreds of children loved him, still, he would strongly desire the love of that particular one, his own child. There is no other one like him, even if he has all the other children in the world. Such is God’s love for us, and His jealousy if we should love someone or something more than Him.

I guess on a day when we are reminded of the uniqueness of even a particular moment, we need to remind ourselves of the uniqueness of our being: existing like no one else, and loved like no one else. Despite all our failings and littleness in our own eyes, there is an eternal truth in the words that “Love conquers all.” God loves us anyway.

If we want to dwell on the “one-ness” of today, I suggest we might also consider these:

• And they shall be one flesh … Gn2:24
• And we will become one people … Gn 34:16
• Hear, O Israel, Jehovah our God is one Jehovah … Dt 6:4
• Blessed is the one who comes in the Name of the Lord … Ps118:26
• For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior … Is43:3
• Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is the one Who comes in the Name of the Lord! Mt21:9
• Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me … Mt26:21
• The one who believes in Me will also do the works I do … Jn14:12
• So we, who are many, are one Body in Christ … Rm12:5
• Love one another … Rm 12:10
• There is one God; there is also one mediator between God and humankind, Christ Jesus. 1Tm2:5

(As a totally inane and unimportant minor, but unique point, I see that this is my 500th blog post. I would have never guessed when I started that I would have so much to say, each post unique, yet probably for the most part, each equally useless.)

Mr. Know-It-All

2011-11-06T14:24:00.004-05:00

The curtain rises, and Rocky (aka Rocket J. Squirrel) announces: “And now, Mr. Know-It-All.”

Mr. Know-It-All (aka Bullwinkle the Moose) tells us that: “Today we are going to learn how to open a jar of pickles.” Mr KIA (hmmm, considering what I know happens in the rest of this story, that seems a fitting acronym) then proceeds to demonstrate various ways of attempting to open a jar of pickles, each way getting progressively more explosive --- and failing. After the last effort (and he gets out of the hospital) Mr. KIA is about to demonstrate yet another way to open a jar of pickles when suddenly Rocky butts in: “Wait a minute! That’s not a jar of pickles, Mr. Know-It-All. It’s a jar of jelly.” Then Mr. KIA exclaims: “Well, of course! That explains the problem. It was jammed!”

(The curtain falls suddenly. Ker-Plunk!)

Mr. Know-It-All was confused on how to handle his problems. He concluded that opening a jar of pickles and a jar of jelly were different matters --- “Of course!” But the truth of the matter is that for what he was trying to do with them, open the jars, they should be treated the same. The laughable point of the cartoon was that Mr. Know-It-All was not what his name implied. He was a fool.

How so very much we are like Mr. Know-It-All in our treatment of some of the important matters in our lives. Like Mr. KIA, we fail to distinguish the difference between things we have available to us, and what we are trying to do to get them.

Gold and silver are more important than other rocks. Money is more important than newspaper. A mansion is more important than a cot to sleep on. We treat some things of this world as much more important than others. But we fail to ask: “Why?” While addressing these things differently, we are like Bullwinkle, Mr. Know-It-All, for we are not addressing the “what are we trying to do with them” issue. Or rather, what “should” we be trying to do with them: For what reason do these things exist in our lives?

The jars of pickles and jelly are like earthly and heavenly happiness, very desirable things we want to open. The things of the earth, money and the like, are tools to open them. The tools are not bad, they were created by God and declared as good. Some, like our neighbor, we were even told to love.

If we act like an atheist or a materialist, we will see that some natural things can make our lives happier in this natural world and focus on that alone. But if we view all created things from the purpose of The Creator, they are for earthly pleasures, yes, but they are primarily a means to get us to an eternal treasure. They are merely tools to open that treasure chest of eternal life; they are not the treasure itself. Some of these tools are definitely better than others to help us open the eternal treasure, but by themselves they don’t compare with it at all. Some earthly things can make our lives happier, but only for a while.

Yet some men act as if the earthly tools were more important to gain us earthly pleasures than to gain us eternal ones.

The sciences, for instance, of good government, of acquiring wealth, of preventing and relieving want and the like, are for this reason especially dangerous; for fixing, as they do, our exertions on this world as an end, they go far to persuade us that they have no other end; they accustom us to think too much of success in life and temporal prosperity. --- The World Our Enemy, by John Henry Newman.

Mr. Know-It-All viewed the jar of pickles and the jar of jelly as different things, not perceiving that the same tool would open both, so he struggled, focusing first on the jar of pickles. Earthly know-it-alls may recognize that earthly and heavenly happiness are different things, but they focus on “the pickles” first, trying various tools to get earthly happiness first. They fail to recognize that if they use the right tool, both earthly (pickles) and heavenly (jelly) happiness will be opened to them. And what tool is that? Well, it’s not found in gold or silver mines, nor is it minted and valuable because of the word of some government. The universal tool of happiness is found in our Churches, and it is given value because of the Word of God.

While focusing on getting the pickles, we forget that the jelly is so much sweeter. And so many of us think that we know it all, when eye has not seen, nor ear heard what God has prepared for those who love Him.

Most earthly Mr. Know-It-Alls are also fools. How many will laugh when the curtain falls on their foolishness? Gold, money, and mansions ARE good things, but if we only see them as things to bring us earthly happiness, we are fools. And like the Gospel today, if we focus on using are material goods for ourselves, we will not have any for the Bridegroom and His uses, and He will say to us: I do not know you. It is not enough to know that earthly and heavenly happiness are available to us, we have to DO something to get them.

They Would Crown Him Again

2011-11-03T10:50:00.001-04:00

THE CROWNING OF THORNS
Eternal Father, through Mary’s unblemished hands and the Divine Heart of Jesus, I offer You the wounds, the pains and the Precious Blood of Jesus’ Holy Head from the Crowing with Thorns, as atonement for my and all of humanity’s sins of the spirit (Sins of the spirit are sins against our faith), as protections against such sins and for the spreading of Christ’s Kingdom here on earth.
--- from The Prayers of St. Bridget on the Passion of Jesus

I have always viewed the Crowning of Thorns and the associated mockery of Jesus on Holy Thursday night as one of the worst parts of His Passion. Alone, He was mocked for all which He had said and done. His torturers did not believe anything of what He preached, not even the miracles which their own eyes may have seen. What more could He do, and yet they still didn’t believe. And so they mocked Him. For me, that would have given me great temptation to despair. I would have been thinking of the future: And when the Son of Man returns, will He find anyone of faith? I would have been very tempted to doubt the value of my life, and my sacrifice. And why: because there were then, and are now, some who don’t want to wait for a heavenly, even if eternal, salvation. They want what they can see and feel and find happiness in --- now. And they trust only their senses and feelings about what that is, therefore they declare themselves to be the ones who know best of what is good for them. They don’t trust promises; they want satisfaction now. They have no faith in what Jesus promised; they can only mock it.

As I read the prayer of St. Bridget, I understood that there are many who have little faith in His promises even today. They are like Adam and Eve: for all they had and were given, they wanted more and wanted it now.

As I read of some priests who are forming groups (to give support to themselves in numbers) to DO changes in the Church’s rites and actions, and other groups of priests forming groups to demand a democracy in the Church’s governing, I somewhat feel the same sadness which Jesus must have felt on Holy Thursday. These priests have lost faith in Him and His promises and His Church. They want happiness for themselves and those they minister to, now. They say they are members of His Church, followers, yet they want to lead. In saying He leads yet defining the way themselves, they mock Him. They crown Him with thorns yet again, a leader they will not follow. Even as they want to shift the Church’s teachings, as if they were on sand, they forget that they were built on Rock.

In championing a democratic Church, they are in effect saying: “Let us vote on what is sin.” And even further, they may vote differently again tomorrow, or next week, or next year. “It changes with the culture.” Even as Jesus died to open heaven, they say thanks: “But we’ll define who gets in.” Were the Jews to have had that right, the worshipping of Baal may have been considered a good thing. Today, many Catholics would vote for “de-sinning” many sexual sins, or many sins against the value of life, and perhaps they would vote to eliminate the shortage of priests by declaring that anyone may be a priest. They think they know what the people need.

They confuse “want” with “need”.

These are all things many may want, but the Church says they are sin, or are wrong-minded actions. By definition, sin IS desirable, so of course many want those things. Some say: “Who is the Church? We are Church!” No longer will they follow out of obedience, only out of their relative reasoning and feelings. In effect, they claim to be the successors of Jesus. For the popes who claim successorship to Peter and Jesus, they say: “Here is your crown of thorns. Lead us. Ha-ha.”

I personally don’t know if each and every thing, each and every Church leader says is proper --- is that really what Jesus said or did? Is that what He would do? What I do know, however, is that even Jesus had a respect for authority. Give unto Caesar, … . Even if I should suspect that some actions of the bishops are in error --- and certainly some are for they are but men, still I will obey, for not to is a form of disobedience. Not to is a declaring that I know more than those assigned by God. Not to is not having faith in Him, who said His Church will not fail. Not to is mocking His promises again, and I recall only too well how He must have felt that first time, at that first crowning.

I can’t stop praying in sorrow over that first mockery. Why would I ever want to participate in another?

Review: The Book of Man

2011-11-01T18:57:00.003-04:00

William J. Bennett has written many a fine book, but this one is different. In his introduction to The Book of Man, Readings on the Path to Manhood, Mr. Bennett makes no bones about it: “There is a trouble with men today.” His introduction in short order lists what he believes to be some of the major deficiencies of men today: a decline in foundational virtues, the collapse of the code of gentlemen, and even confusion about what it means to be a man today. He cites measurements on the increasing time men spend in front of the television or gaming, and the decreasing amount spent working or entering into marriage. “The purpose of this book is to explore and explain what it means to be a man.” The readings “cover a wide range of life’s stages and circumstances and current maladies.” And as Mr. Bennett concludes: “I hope this book will lift up you and the ones you love. I hope it will help you learn and remember what it is to be a man.”

A quick glance at the reviews on Amazon for this book finds only two ratings, either 5-star or 1-star. And while the 5-star ratings were very enthusiastic for the book, looking at the 1-star ratings, I found unbridled hatred for the author and his Christian beliefs. The 1-star reviewers mentioned little of the book or its topics, only of their hatred. I guess that made me somewhat sad, that such is the state of our country that hatred is the main way for some to express their disagreement with something, but I guess Christians have felt this hatred throughout all history, and Our Founder felt it the most.

Quickly changing my mood though, I realized I probably would like this book, and I very much do.

The 500 page book contains about 300 chapters, each a quote from someone in history, broken into six areas of man: at War, at Work, at Play, at Sports and Leisure, in the Polis, with Women and Children, and in Prayer and Reflection. The authors range from Pericles and William the Conqueror to Pete Maravich and George W. Bush, and from just about every walk of life, from saint to sinner. The works are from speeches, books, poems, and yes, prayers. I found quotes, like this one from Calvin Coolidge, to resonate with my own thoughts of late: No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave. (I wonder if those in American calling for more from the government or from rich people know that one.) Almost all the chapters speak about men who gave of themselves to others; they were men. Some of the “chapters” are only a half page long and none longer than ten pages, so they are ideal for any of today’s youth challenged by short attention spans. But this book is a good pleasant read for adults also.

This book will be one I add to my Christmas list for my teenage Godchildren, boys and girls. For the boys I will inscribe how I wish them to read and know what it means to be a man, a real man. I’ll encourage them to keep the book, and measure themselves against some of the ideal men in it and their actions, not to ever hope to be the ideal man, but to have some benchmarks on how well they are doing --- and to remind themselves that there are those who have tried and have succeeded to be good men, and that they were happy, admired --- and remembered. They made a difference in this world. And to the girls I will write that they should read and then know: there are good men in this world. Never settle for less, for a spouse, or even a friend. And to both I will encourage that they continue to pray, even for me, as I shall for them.

If you are looking for a good book for the whole family, one to put on the shelf knowing that it may interest anyone, from young to old, then this is a good buy. Most of what we consider classic works contain specific morals or messages to be remembered. Most of what we consider the “Chicken Soup” books contain short stories to make you feel good. This book is in between those; it contains many classic messages and many short stories that only in total make you feel good. Finishing this book, you will feel a contentment, like hearing:“Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.” But this is no fairy tale.

I Missed Mass Today

2011-10-30T17:58:00.000-04:00

It was a “this is a most unlikely to happen” circumstance, that did happen. The live-in caregiver was out of town for the weekend, and then the Saturday overnight caregiver called at the last minute: “My car broke down; I won’t be there.” And so at 11:30 on a Saturday night I was at mom’s house frantically calling for someone to substitute for my midnight to 2AM adoration.

Good friends dropped what they were doing and took my place; that’s what good friends do. I’m sure they made excuses for me to God when they got there; He understands these things. Or at least I think He does. Then this morning, with no one here to replace me still, I missed mass. I trust He understood, again.

I feel like I stood up someone for a dinner date, someone I really wanted to see. I called and explained, asked forgiveness --- and was politely forgiven, but still I felt like I let Him down. “Do you love me,” He had once asked of another of His friends. Did He ask it of me this day? How do you know when you have done your best? How do you know if you are doing what He would want? How do you know someone you really care about isn’t silently asking: “Do you love me?” How do you feel, when you want to ask those words of them?

I’ve heard those words spoken aloud often during my life, and even said (or left unsaid) them myself: Do you love me? Words spoken from a spouse to you, or you to your spouse; your child to you, or you to him, or you to your God --- or, perhaps He to you? They are words we feel, as if they were questioning a real concern, but I wonder sometimes if they are merely voicing what we want. We want to love and be loved, like we want to dress nice and be respected. We measure love, often like those things, in terms of material goods. Did you send me flowers or cards? Did you remember our anniversary? Did you buy me the things I believe you should know I want? Measures of love, by which we gauge how much we love, and are loved. But, I think, the real measures of love are more like those more which occurred to me today: Do you miss me?

I love You and wish to be with You, and so I miss you when we cannot be together. A missed meal or meeting isn’t a snub, evidence of a loss of love, but it is something which hurts the loved one who cannot attend. When both feel the hurt, this is love. Talking on the phone (or in prayer) is very good, but it really isn’t a great substitute for being there with each other. That’s why the mass or time in the Church --- ideally at adoration times, is so important. It is the real giving of ourselves, which is evidence of love.

I want spend the time to be with You, and when I am not, I miss You.

But because I believe in Him, I love Him, I want to be with Him, I know that I can always be so. I know Him and how He moves. He is there in each person whom I meet; he said so. I see His picture in their faces; I hear His voice in their words; I hear His sadness at events of the world leading to their sorrows. And I can be with Him there, in them.

I missed mass today, and adoration last night. The intimate time we were to have together didn’t happen. But then there were other things which happened today, gatherings with other people, on the internet, with the caregiver who came back home, and of course with my mom. It wasn’t an intimate gathering of just the two of us, but He was there in those gatherings. And in seeing Him there, I smiled --- and He smiled back.

Until we meet alone again.

As I finished these words, mom called out to me, up from her nap. And as I bent down in front of her and buttoned her dress she looked up at me, staring into my eyes: “You’re a good guy; you’re so good to me. You know I love you.”

Yes, Lord, I know.

Celebrate Past Successes

2011-10-25T11:46:00.000-04:00

I sent the below letter to Fr. Joseph Fessio, S.J., publisher of Catholic World Report magazine. CWR and the Homelitic & Pastoral Review magazines will cease printing and go to an on-line format next year. I wrote Fr. Fessio a note of encouragement and as a reminder to him --- and myself --- that we must celebrate our past successes, not regret their ending.

Dear Fr. Fessio:

I have lead many a good cause in my life, some even great. Many thousands in need were helped through my efforts; many cried in thanks, and I found much satisfaction and consolation that my efforts were His, yet over time support for some of my charitable efforts waned, and I found myself carrying the banner into battle with few behind me. And it was with great regret that I found my efforts increasing as others’ decreased, and then those helped diminished. The battle was not being won. We wish the successes of our life could go on forever. We tend to forget that they are not OUR successes, and that they won’t go on forever.

With prayer, I ended my leadership in some causes, and was led to join others. The war continued to be fought; I pray I was led to enter those battles where I might make a difference --- despite the fact that some might suffer because of my choices. I pray those decisions were made with His blessings.

Despite my abilities and praised past successes, I cannot forget that it is He who leads us into battle. We are just His soldiers.

I will miss both the Catholic World Report and Homiletic & Pastoral Review in my mailbox. Much good was done with them; may your future efforts do even more. Do not look back with regrets; those battles are over. For this I pray.

Sincerely,

I Found A Penny

2011-10-23T15:12:00.002-04:00

Happy is the one who finds wisdom;
It is more precious than your most valued possessions.
-- Prov. 3:13

I found a penny in the street today, and I picked it up and looked at it. It seemed like any other penny. I looked at the front, the picture, year it was minted, and the words --- “In God We Trust.” Then I looked at the back, and saw another picture and words, including some Latin. I saw it was made of copper --- I wondered where it had come from. I paused and looked around the parking lot where it had lain --- where did the one who dropped it come from? Had he been distracted, and not noticed his loss? Was it precious for him, like for the woman who offered the two small coins in the temple -- for her, a great offering? Or did he see it fall and think: “It matters not; I have so many others; my time is too valuable to stop for even a moment?” Did he consider what he could have done with that small penny, for one who needed it?

And my mind wondered: How well do I protect the resources and blessings given me, making sure I do not lose or waste them, making sure they help the least of His children, whom He EXPECTS me to care for?

I attend a weekly Bible Study class; when we exchange emails about the class we sometimes refer to it jokingly as the BS class. That tells you something, I guess. In a very organized way, we dig into the verses at each class. Just a few small ones are looked at each week, like the penny I found, a small thing. For me, perhaps the small words are precious, and I see all things about them that the writer intended, and for whom and why. Or, perhaps, the words are trivial; I have heard them or ones like them many times before, and they bore me. I put them away like I put the penny in my pocket, and think nothing on them.

But if I did that, treated the time and words as casual thing, I myself would have lost something, something precious which I might never find again. For that moment, that reading of those few words, was a special time in my life, perhaps in a special place or with special companions, and that moment will never return again. ONLY a penny? ONLY words? That moment may have been the key to my entering heaven, or helping another to do so. And I might have ignored it.

The Word of the Lord, Scripture, is said to be precious for they are His words, a giving of His Spirit. The earthly writers wrote them with earthly intentions, for they were men. It is well that we understand their meaning and intents, but the words were also written by the Holy Spirit, through them. And of the Spirit’s intents, the writers really knew nothing about, for those intents included us, who would read those words so many years later. All of Scripture, God’s words, are intended for us, at the time and place at which we read them, for God knew when that would be, and He knew what we would need to hear at that moment, and so it was written. It’s a moment at which He speaks to us directly, what He wants us to hear.

I think too often we treat the words of Scripture lightly. Many Scripture scholars and saints have noted that if we read or study Scripture and get nothing personal out of it, we have wasted our time. If we treat them casually, like the found penny we put in our pocket, we will have ignored words God wrote and meant specifically for us, right now, today. We will have acted as if we have something more important to do or think about, than listen to God speaking directly to us.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. --- Mt 22:37-8

How well do I protect the resources and blessings given me, like the penny or The Word, making sure they help the least of His children, whom He EXPECTS me to care for? Do I treat them as the precious gift they are, not following the example of the unprofitable servant who hid his lord’s money, not using His grace, but neglecting it? He gives me many blessings, but the greatest are the words He speaks to me.

Sloth is the great evil of our not willing to take the time to seek and do His will. He speaks to us, and we do not listen.

Pray that you might seek and hear His word for you today, that you might be pure of heart, for ‘Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.’ Mt 5:8

He Is There For Me

2011-10-22T10:03:00.003-04:00

This morning as I knelt before the Eucharist after mass, I had a strong feeling: God is there on the altar, and more specifically, He is there for me. Oh, He is there every morning after mass in this small chapel, but this morning I was especially aware that He is there --- for me. And I felt a great comfort in that knowledge. I have lots of comforts in my life: money in the bank, a home that doesn’t leak on my head, and a pretty new car that gets good gas mileage. I have lots of things that give me security, but He’s not a thing. I realized this morning that He has made a commitment to me, despite the poor sinner, the forgetful servant, and the ungrateful “friend” that I am. Yet still He loves me. Yet still He is there, ever waiting, there, for me. O Lord, I am not worthy.

I guess the Parable of the Prodigal Son could describe how I felt this morning, but that wouldn’t be adequate. The Prodigal Son went home expecting that his father “likely” would not turn him away, and would at least let him work on his farm. I have no such feelings of “maybe” He’ll be there for me like that; I KNOW that He will welcome me with open arms, no matter how much I have acted as if I didn’t know Him. I feel the unconditional-ness of His commitment, and it gives me a deep comfort.

In my life, I have been pretty far away from Him at times, lost, and yet when I was most lost I heard the call of His mother, telling me what I knew but had chosen to forget: “He’s waiting for you,” and then I knew I was found. At that time, in my sorrow and pain, I went home and He was there for me, as I knew He would be.

I made a commitment to Him then that I’d never leave again, and always follow Him. Only He knows if I will be faithful to my sincere promise. But more important than anything in my life, I think, was that knowledge that He was there for me, and always would be. I think that one deep memory, carved on my soul, saved my life. If God had created me for some great purpose, if He intended me to have a fruitful, happy life, and if He wanted me to be by His side forever: None of that could have happened if I didn’t know with confidence that when I really needed Him, He was there for me.

I think Jesus had that same feeling in the Garden of Gethsemane relative to His Father. Jesus wrestled with where His life was going. He wondered what He had accomplished – betrayal was happening even as He knelt there. He wondered if He could handle what looked like sure pains ahead. And He wondered if it all mattered – how quickly it seemed they were forgetting Palm Sunday: Would anyone remember Him? And then, deep inside of His very being, He knew. He knew His Father was there for Him. His Father was waiting, and would always love Him. Always. And then nothing in this world could keep Him from going on, and trying sincerely to make that Father proud, and to be who He was made to be.

Many of us can recall our earthly fathers in that way, with a confidence that they would always be there for us. And many of us are earthly fathers, and are that example of love to our children. But some, like me, aren’t fathers, and some never knew their earthly father, or never knew him as someone whom they could trust to be always there for them. But despite these failures in our life, still our heavenly Father is there for each of us, even as He was for Jesus. And He is there waiting, always waiting for us, just as the Eucharist is always present on the altar in chapels and churches around the world. I know this with a deep confidence. But even while I know He is there waiting --- even for you, I can’t really bring myself today to encourage you to run to Him, as Mary encouraged me. You’ll have to find Him yourself, deep inside of you somewhere, in that firm knowledge which you have and can never forget --- even if you want to argue that it is not true --- that knowledge somewhere within you that your heavenly Father waits for you. And there will come a day when you will, in your sorrow or in your fear, finally open your arms, and He will rush in to hug you. I can’t tell you to seek Him or direct your path to Him; you have to let yourself be found.

What I can do, however is to encourage you to be that type of person, as a father should be, to your children and also your neighbor. I know on the surface that sounds unreasonable, to be that type of person to your neighbor because the relationship I described is so special. How can you be that way with just anyone? Not everyone is your flesh and blood, and deserves that much unconditional caring. But, I ask you, isn’t that exactly the way God the Father is, to everyone? And isn’t that the way Jesus was, to the saint and equally to the sinner? And isn’t that the example He set for us to imitate?

I think one of the most important parts of our life should be that imitation, that being there for whomever. I think that a critical weakness in our society, with the dissolution of the family and marriage, is the lost importance of being there for others. Throughout history many great leaders led through actions or words, but many who were thought of as being the greatest of leaders, were just there. They were a reliable fortress in all storms; they were there to give to others --- first. You can name many examples of these people, like Mother Teresa, but just recall what they started with, and then think of all that we are blessed with. If they had all the blessings of our wealth and family and friends and intelligence, just imagine what they could have accomplished! And so, therefore, what do you think is expected of you?

The other night I went to a Knights of Columbus meeting where a speaker was orating on the topic: Who is Your Neighbor. The talk was good, and the discussion afterward was good. And I liked the conclusion it came to: Who is your neighbor? First and foremost, it is the guy sitting in the chair right next to you right now, tonight. It starts there, with the one closest to you. And how do you show him your reliable commitment to him, to give him confidence? It starts with your being there that night. Your love, your example, your ability to give you neighbor confidence that you are there for him, starts with one neighbor, for one night, for one hour, with your being there.

I am convinced that some of the greatest strides we make in impacting the world are through impacts that we are never aware of. Just by being there as an example of someone who can be relied upon to help when called upon, as someone who will not shut the door, or as someone who can just sit there and listen – even as the Eucharist sits on the altar – we can be God’s presence in our neighbor’s life. Certainly as an analyst I can plan all sorts of things to help my neighbor, but I can never understand the Ultimate Planner’s plans, and they are infinitely better than mine. Whether to our children, our spouse, our family, our church, our neighbor, or even a stranger, one of the most important things we can do is: be there. Whether in our politeness, our calmness in the storm, our little prayer before a meal, our stopping in at a chapel --- even if just for a minute, or in giving a smile to a stranger we pass, our actions can demonstrate a consistency of our being, telling all who enter our lives that we are there, and we can be relied upon to be there as God’s presence for them. They will see us and our actions, and just know: I can rely upon him. For many, just knowing that we, one little person, can be relied upon, shows them that there is good (and God) in the world, for they have seen it. And for some this will be part of The Father’s gift to them, through us, which will be embedded in their heart. And perhaps at some time, when they need it most, they will recall that memory, that feeling that they can’t describe but know with confidence, and they will think: He is there for me. And their lives will be better for that knowledge.

I don’t know what huge important things you may think God wishes --- or expects --- of you, but I suspect you can’t possibly know. And despite all the plans about what we must do --- or think that we’ve failed to do --- in our lives, in the end I think we will find that HIS plans were nothing like ours. And the ultimate measure of His success, and ours, will have little to do with what we did outside of just being there, showing our love to our neighbor and family by really being there.

“And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love …”

It's Not Hopeless

2011-10-19T10:20:00.004-04:00

I brought the plant in off the deck last week, and placed it back in the living room window. It looked more than a little sad; almost all of its leaves were frozen or blown off, and the few left quickly browned and dropped to the carpeting. Maybe I left it outside a bit too long.

But then this morning, I saw this. It seems happy to be in out of the cold.

Things may be bad in our lives right now, but we need to get beyond worrying about how bad it is for us --- as if no one or nothing else is more important. Last night politicians debated their proposals for the country. Each one told the others how terrible their ideas were, while their own ideas were perfect. They might all have stood together at the end, raised a stein of beer and sang: “My plan is great, and yours is stupid and so are you.” It would have been the only thing they agreed upon, as each was worried only about themselves, as if no other idea or anyone else had any merit. They didn’t sound much different than the protesters in the New York parks, seeking affirmation of how great and deserving they were. Meanwhile, locally, a drunken dad was in the news bragging about how he wasn’t driving drunk, since he had his 9-year old daughter driving for him at 3AM. What a good guy he thought he was (just like the politicians) --- but at least he had the excuse that he was drunk.

Even in our stupidity we want to make excuses about how we’re not really that stupid. In wanting EVERYTHING for ourselves and in saying we NEVER make mistakes, we are trying to justify how it would be right if we were given heaven here on earth, right now. We (and the selfishness we seem to proclaim so proudly) deserve it.

Sometimes I get sad over our present state of affairs --- witness some of my recent posts. But then I see things, like this plant, and I am reminded that it is not hopeless. And that I can and should stop worrying about MY situation. For this blog, my favorite line from Scripture is: Do not be anxious, but focused on these times I think it is: I will be with you always.

I saw a young woman in the 7-11 yesterday. She wore a tight-fitting t-shirt, and filled it out rather nicely. I commented to her that I really liked her t-shirt --- and she kind of frowned at me as she left the store. Go figure! But hey, I was looking at the saying on the back of her shirt as she was leaving. Really! It said: “It’s not what you wish for, It’s what you work for.” I liked that simple saying; it states my feelings well about what is missing in our country right now, a desire to get out and work to make things better. (As an aside, thinking on it now, I can see why that particular saying wasn’t printed on the front of the t-shirt.)

But when things are going wrong, as they are now, we so often ignore things that are right, and there are many. That young woman chose that t-shirt to wear; and that was a good thing. This morning’s paper noted that us social security recipients will get a 3.5% raise next year (thank you all you taxpayers) --- I smiled and told the guys in Panera’s that starting in January they will be buying my coffee each morning. (They didn’t smile back.) But this last Saturday was sweetest day, and I not only got candy, but a bottle of wine. Isn’t life grand? And in a couple of weeks the kids will have Halloween, and get their candy share too --- and probably even too much. There are so many little gifts in life that we quickly overlook, like the smile the tiny baby gave me this morning from across the chapel altar, as we both looked at the gift there.

Despite all that seems wrong and worries us, it is not hopeless. God is with us, always, and He loves us. We don’t have to worry so much about the bad things happening to us; we don’t have to concern ourselves about what we don’t have, or what we want. What we need will be given to us, because He said so. All we need worry about is what we can give to others, as He did.

And like my little plant, we’ll be happy. And what now seems bare and lacking in happiness in our lives will be filled with greenery, a new spring, before we know it. All we have to do is make others happy, like the flower on my plant makes me happy, and we too will be watered and cared for, in ways beyond our understanding.

Have hope. Trust in His promises. Do not be anxious.

Catholic Hypocrites

2011-10-17T11:32:00.002-04:00

I prefer death in Christ Jesus to power over the farthest limits of the earth
-- Ignatious of Antioch, Bishop and Martyr

An army cannot have 10,000 leaders nor 1,000 nor even 100. Ultimately it must have one. There are right ways to win wars, but it seems for many people that those are the wrong ways, because they are difficult --- because people will die in wars. But those who would have “peace at any cost” fail to see that such a peace may result in even more dying, perhaps even everyone.

I read in the Catholic World Report magazine how 300 Austrian priests pledged to take part in a “Call to Disobedience”. They pledged to, among other things: Not deny the Eucharist to “believers of good will,” which may include anyone, to holding a “self-designed” Liturgy of the Word --- a priest-less Eucharistic celebration, to allow non-clergy to preach the homily, to oppose parish mergers but insist each parish have a “leader” --- man or woman, and to speak out in favor of married and women priests. These Austrian priests want to lead their flocks in the easiest of ways ---- “Where do you want to go? Okay, we’ll lead you there.” They would prefer to be liked by their flocks, to have this power over them, rather than to have to lead them into tough battles. (They wouldn’t have made very good apostles.)

That’s not leading, it is following, and it is following temptation. Eve led Adam to follow the easier route, “Why struggle to follow God; let’s be like God.” Aaron agreed to the Jews desire to worship a golden calf --- it was an easier route, for unlike God the calf made no demands on them. With Adam and Eve’s initial fall to temptation, all men were subject to these temptations. They feel good; they are the easy route, and even those who are supposed to lead us sometimes fall to these tempter’s wiles. And so often those who fall seek to justify their reasons, to make them seem as a good thing --- but they almost always forget to put a name to their actions: sin. No one wants to say what they are doing is sin.

Sometimes it’s harder for God to convert the preacher than those to whom he sends him to preach. --- Reniero Cantalamessa, in The Mystery of God’s Word

The “Catholic” governors of New York and Massachusetts are publically telling their bishops to tend to religious matters, while they tend to political matters, such as getting re-elected by promoting homosexual “marriage”. These governors want to lead the people where they want to go, to be married to their friend, or their child, or their dog if that is what they wish. If the people want it; these men will lead them to it. These Catholic governors are not leading, nor if they could be honest with themselves are they Catholic. Nor are the priests of Austria. None are in union with the Catholic Church.

“An honest, unaffected desire of doing right is the test of God’s true servants. On the other hand, a double mind, a pursuing other ends besides the truth … and a feeling of the necessity of defending oneself to oneself, and to God, and to the world; in a word, hypocrisy; these are the signs of the “merely professed” Christian.

They look upon themselves as independent parties, treating with Almighty God as one of their fellows. Hence, so far from seeking God, they hardly like to be sought by Him. They would rather keep their position and stand where they are, --- on earth, and so make terms with God in heaven. … Reasoning and argument is the mode in which he approaches his Saviour and Judge, … (and) stands on his rights and appeals to his notions of fitness, and therefore he goes about to fortify his position, to explain his conduct, or to excuse himself.”
--- Bl John Henry Neumann, Sermon 16: Sincerity and Hypocrisy

These priests and governors are not formed by the gospel, but by the world. These are men who would give incense to Roman gods, to get along with the people. They would never choose to be martyrs; it would be too hard for them to disagree with the masses. But Jesus never said it would be easy. And Jesus called them to their faces, such men who wish to appear religious but deny the hard truths of God, hypocrites (Mt 23:27).

“A hypocrite is one who professes to be serving God faithfully, while he serves Him in only some one part of his duty, not in all parts. The word is not commonly taken to mean one who uses a profession of religion as a mere instrument of gaining his worldly ends, or who wishes to deceive men into thinking that he is what he is not. (He is) one who, though his heart would tell him, were he honest with it, that he is NOT serving God perfectly, yet will not ASK his heart, will not listen to it, trifles with his conscious, is DETERMINED to believe that he IS religious, and protests his sincerity and innocence before God. … What is it that (they) lack? It is this: a willingness to BE changed, a willingness to suffer.”
--- Bl. John Henry Neumann, Sermon 17: A Testimony of Conscience

They would not be martyrs in a world which increasingly differs from the Christian message. They wish to be leaders and well liked by the flock, but leading the sheep where they wish to go, is not leading. Making themselves out to be shepherds, yet not acting in unity with the Church, they are merely lost sheep themselves.

All shepherds should therefore be one in the one good shepherd. All should speak with the one voice of the one shepherd, so that the sheep may hear and follow their shepherd; not this or that shepherd, but the one shepherd. All should speak with one voice in Christ, not with different voices. “Brethren, I beg all of you to say the same thing, and to have no dissensions among you.” The sheep should hear this voice, a voice purified from all schism, freed from all heresy, and so follow their shepherd, who says: “My sheep hear my voice and follow me.”
From a sermon On Pastors, by Saint Augustine, bishop

The Answer is Love

2011-10-12T09:01:00.002-04:00

I do not know what the future will bring, but this morning as I lay in bed I could not sleep. I was thinking about it.

We are not prepared today. We are not prepared for those who are out of work. We are not prepared for those who have lost their homes. We are not prepared for those who will lose their sources of money quickly in the future, and be in need of even the basics, like food. Many are protesting, even more each day, that the government must provide. They are protesting that companies must provide. They are protesting that those who have must give --- or they will take it. Their protests are right in only one thing: those who have must give, but the protesters are wrong-headed in their thinking if those who have are unwilling to give. If they are unwilling to give, they must be preached to, they must be given example, they must be taught, they must be loved --- so that they learn how to love.

We know of a teacher who taught those things well. We say we will follow Him. We need to be prepared to do so.

The Catholic Church is home to so many of Christ’s people. It is home to so many of his Words, and actions. It teaches what those words are and what they mean. It teaches how we should live out His actions. It teaches how to love your neighbor. And it teaches that it is not the government nor companies who must first provide for our neighbor; first, it is us.

Read the catechism on the principle of subsidiarity:

Socialism presents dangers. Excessive intervention by the state can threaten personal freedom and initiative. The teaching of the Church has elaborated the principle of subsidiarity, according to which “a community of a higher order should not interfere in the internal life of a community of a lower order, depriving the latter of its functions.” (CCC 1883)

God has not willed to reserve to himself all exercise of power. He entrusts every creature the functions it is capable of performing. This mode of governance ought to be followed in social life. The principle of subsidiarity is opposed to all forms of collectivism. It sets limits for state intervention. It aims at harmonizing the relationships between individuals and societies. (CCC 1884-5)

The family should live in such a way that its members learn to care and take responsibility for the young, the old, the sick, the handicapped, and the poor. There are many families who are at time incapable of providing this help. It devolves then on other persons, other families, and, in a subsidiary way, society to provide for their needs. (CCC 2208)

I think many people in our Catholic family have forgotten these things. Perhaps many have never been taught these things. They need to be taught now. They need to be put into action now. We need to prepare now. We are a family in Christ. We are the ones called to help others. We are the first ones called to step forward, asking of God and neighbor, “What can I do?” --- for my family, first.

I am an analyst by the talents I was given. It would be easy for me to step forward with proposals for sharing and caring within my family of Christ. It would be easy for me to think that I must lead, but I would be wrong. The one to lead is the one who would not let me sleep this morning. He has the answers, the correct answers. They are not formulas and rules on how to share, like a socialist government would issue. The answers for each family many be different, for each family is different. The answers must come from Him and His Spirit, guiding each family. The answers start in family prayer, then I firmly believe, He will not let us sleep until we love one another, as He showed us how to love. Love isn’t based on what we need or what we take from another. Love is based on what we give, what we willingly give to another, as He did. He gave love to the people He met who needed love, one person at a time.

Subsidiarity: it started with Him. In each family, in each parish, we need to pray for the Gifts of the Spirit, that it might start with us.

The answer is in love.

We're Scared

2011-10-09T19:16:00.001-04:00

This morning I heard a baby crying in church. Its mother quickly took it outside into the hall, but I could still hear it crying. It cried and cried, and cried. The baby could not catch its breath, and its cries continued in rolling waves of distress, separated only by a hiccup of breath intake. And as it cried, its mother’s soft words of concern were lost, ignored in its screams. Too caught up in voicing its own concerns, it could hear no one else, not even the one who loved it most.

It was scared.

And it dawned on me that so many of us in America are scared today, and the newspapers echo each day the crying that we are doing.

But then my thoughts turned from the fear in the hallway back to the altar, as the second reading began:

Brothers and sisters: I know how to live in humble circumstances; I know how to live with abundance. In every circumstance and in all things I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need. I can do all things in him who strengthens me. Still, it was kind of you to share in my distress.

My God will fully supply whatever you need, in accord with his riches in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father, glory forever and ever. Amen.
--- Phil 4:12-14, 19-20

I am no prophet, but I couldn’t help but feel that a dark shadow passed over me this morning, as I thought on the things I had heard. This past week I had people, strangers, come and ask me: “Do you know of someone who has a job available? Do you know someplace where a homeless man, a seemingly good man living in his car, can go?”

In days past I might have seen a good in these requests, for I felt that despite dire reports on the economy, many unemployed people I know seemed to be content sitting at home and waiting, perhaps waiting for things to get better, or perhaps dreaming that a former employer would call them back, but at any rate they appeared not too distressed by their plight, and were not working too hard to seek a solution to their troubles. And so I sometimes said to others, “No one is knocking at my door, asking for work, seeking a place to live. Things can’t be too bad.” So having some actively seek a solution to their problem – finally, seemed to me to be a good thing

But my views changed today, and the activity I might have seen as a good thing, I now feel as an omen. Things may be bad, but they may well get worse.

There are organized protests in various cities. These don’t distress me, even if some of them should turn violent as they have overseas. Like the baby crying, scared of he knows not what, some people may want to lash out in anger: “Someone should do something!!!” And they may expect that then help will come --- because they are crying. What they don’t realize is that the help they are asking for has proved unhelpful in the past. Like the baby, in their distress they want to scream and cry, but not pause to listen. Like the mother for the child, help is there. But in their noise, and fear, those needing comfort are not listening, and sadly, neither are we.

We are the help.

I fear coming months may only be worse in this country, and in the wailing and worry, the ready solution will not be found. Like the mother’s offering, the ideal and quickest solution isn’t from some stranger. It comes from one who loves. Crying for earthly comfort, what will really soothe the worriers is spiritual comfort: love. It’s what we are called to give.

If unemployment is 10% or 20% or even 30%, then there are 70% or 80% or 90% employed, who can afford to help, together, feed one more mouth. In one of the homes of the 7 or 8 or 9, there is an empty bedroom or an unused basement for the one needing it. But these are strangers we might say --- “Stranger-Danger,” as we taught our children. Oh ye of little faith! These are no strangers, they are your neighbors, your scared neighbors, who need your help, who need some love. You have a rainy day fund and you sometimes look at it today with worry, wondering if it will be enough for you at some distant future time. But it is raining on your neighbor, today. And for some, it is a downpour.

And you shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Many are crying so loudly --- and perhaps even more will in the future --- so many that they can’t hear those who would love them --- you. And we, in our fears, are ourselves crying, and we cannot hear Him who would love us, and make good of our efforts --- Our Father.

Do not be afraid! Do not be anxious! He tells us this over and over. Listen and hear beyond the crying. Don’t scream “Someone should do something,” without looking in the mirror. Don’t march in protest, without having a kneeler to rest upon.

Things may get worse, but God is here, and so is His Body. We trust in Him, and He trusts in us.

How much worse must things get before we begin to organize ourselves to help, and to live up to His trust? Where there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth is not meant to be here, because we are here, we who have seen and heard Him, and who follow Him. We need not feel overwhelmed, seeking some massive solution that “somebody” should implement to end unemployment or hunger in this country. That is not His example: He healed and helped, one at a time.

As we should. We may be scared, but let us not be scared into inaction or despair. He is with us. As the reading said: My God will fully supply whatever you need.

A Book Review: Safely Through The Storm

2011-10-08T10:04:00.005-04:00

OBEDIENCE
I said, “Let me walk in the fields.”
He said, “No, walk in the town.”
I said, “There are no flowers there.”
He said, “No flowers, but a crown.”
I said, “But the skies are black;
There is nothing but noise and din.”
And He wept as He sent me back;
“There is more,” He said, “there is sin.”

I said, “But the air is thick,
And fogs are veiling the sun.”
He answered, “Yet souls are sick,
And souls in the dark undone.”

I said, “I shall miss the light,
And friends will miss me, they say.”
He answered, “Choose to-night
If I am to miss you, or they.”

I pleaded for time to be given.
He said, “Is it hard to decide?
It will not seem hard in heaven
To have followed the steps of your Guide.”

I cast one look at the fields,
Then set my face to the town;
He said, “My child, do you yield?
Will you leave the flowers for the crown?”

Then into His hand went mine,
And into my heart came He;
And I walk in a light divine
The path I had feared to see.

--- George MacDonald

I’ve been reading this book, of late, as part of my morning meditations. It contains 120 reflections on Hope, like the ones I have included here above and below. The reflections are all short ; the whole book is only 65 pages, and most of the authors and works are ones I have previously read. Benedict XVI, JPII, Nouwen, de Sales, Newman, Anselm, Brother Lawrence, Kempis, von Hildebrand, and of course, Groeschel, are all among my favorites. Yet seeing them all here, some of their most memorable lines --- although many of which I had forgotten --- gives me great comfort and inspiration these mornings.

Of course, if you have not read as much as I, these things will all be new to you. A great start for the day is here for many Catholics or other Christians, as well as a great end to a day also. These thoughts on Hope are meant to be considered when thinking about life’s difficulties past, or the difficult day ahead. They are of great comfort when winding down from a difficult day behind --- finally! If I had known what Debbie Herbeck’s book is, I might not have bought it, thinking there was nothing new for me in there. But she puts all these things together, re-visiting old friends with me, and all that is old is made new.

It is a good purchase, my friends, even to just put on the bookshelf, and to lift up and carry with us when we face days that we know will be trials, or for when we’ve faced a difficult day and don’t know how to end it, but cry. It’s then that we need Hope, and you can find it here.

IN THE HANDS OF THE SCULPTOR
It is true that a canvas simply and blindly offered to the brush feels at each moment only the stroke of the brush. It is the same with a lump of stone. Each blow from the hammering of the sculptor’s chisel makes it feel – if it could – as if it were being destroyed. As blow after blow descends, the stone knows nothing of how the sculptor is shaping it. All it feels is a chisel chopping away at it, cutting it and mutilating it ---. We might ask it: “What do you think is happening to you?” And it might answer: “Don’t ask me. All I know is that I must stay immovable in the hands of the sculptor, and I must love him and endure all he inflicts on me to produce the figure he has in mind. He knows how to do it. As for me, I have no idea what he is doing, nor do I know what he will make of me. But what I do know is that his work is the best possible. It is perfect. I welcome each blow of his chisel as the best thing that could happen to me, although, if I’m to be truthful, I feel that every one of these blows is ruining me, destroying me and disfiguring me. But I remain unconcerned. I concentrate on the present moment, think only of my duty, and suffer all that this master sculptor inflicts on me without knowing his purpose or fretting about it.”

Yes, you frank and precious souls, leave to God what is his business and carry on peacefully with your work. Be quite sure that whatever happens to your spiritual life or to your activities in the world is always for the best. Let God act, and abandon yourself to him.
--- Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

On Growing Old

2011-10-07T12:50:00.000-04:00

All our days pass away in your anger,
Our life is over like a sigh.
Our span is seventy years
or eighty for those who are strong.

And most of these are emptiness and pain.
They pass swiftly and we are gone.
Who understands the power of your anger
and fears the strength of your fury?

Make us know the shortness of our life
that we may gain wisdom of heart.
Lord, relent! Is your anger for ever?
Show pity to your servants.

In the morning, fill us with your love;
we shall exult and rejoice all our days.
Give us joy to balance our affliction
for the years when we knew misfortune.
--- Psalm 90

Lord, I am not worthy. Those words came easy today.

I am not worthy of the years you have given me, Lord. Each day I read about the lives of your saints; so many of them died so young. They found holiness, and you, so quickly in their youth, while I struggle day after day wondering if I shall ever find you, even wondering if you wish to be found --- by me, and wondering about the day when we finally inevitably meet: will you say: “I do not know you”?

Lord, I am not worthy of the many blessings you have given me in my life. So many talents for my use, talents meant for your use, entrusted to me. But am I worthy of your trust? “Of those to whom much has been given, much will be asked.” Am I returning enough? What are you asking?

I am not worthy of your love, Lord. How often have I acted like I didn’t know you? How often have I done the exact thing I knew would make you sad? How often have I proved a disappointment to you?

Today I made a general confession, the first time I have ever done such a thing. I recalled sins of my past which you knew about and forgave, but I could not forget. The older you get, the more failures there are to remember. I confessed my biggest failures, my biggest disappointments to you --- and to me. And at least I took heart in that one thought: that there is one thing on which you and I do agree: so often, I failed. And yet despite the pain and disappointment I caused you and reminded you of yet again today, still you said: “Your sins are forgiven.” And I know you meant it, and I felt lighter somehow.

With the passing of years, Lord, it is so easy to remember my failings, perhaps with fear because the day comes ever closer when I shall have to remember them yet again, together with you, face-to-face. Perhaps today was just practice for that day. Please, Lord, don’t forget then how you said they were forgiven today. How I long to enter your kingdom, as so many of your saints did, so quickly. And yet I am still here. Help me, Lord, use these remaining days well, however many they may be. Let the memories, when we finally meet, include many acts and days of joy, perhaps yet to come, when you and I shared your love with all your children. Let our memories then be of happiness that the talents you have blessed me with were returned tenfold and more. Let the load of good things I bring you that day be like Santa’s bag of toys, huge, and full of things which were just what you would have wished for of me, and more.

Lord, help me to fill it for you, that these days might not be just a blessing for me, but for you also.

Perhaps someday soon, Lord, may I take a day and declare it not a day like today of confession and regret of my many sins, but one of profession and joy at my many blessings --- blessings which together we shared.

May the best be yet to come, OUR best. Jesus, I trust in You, to be there with me.

Greedy Wall Street Bankers

2011-10-05T10:33:00.003-04:00

There are some protests going on in our country these days which are getting considerable press coverage. Many of the protesters are in New York, and, based on a few press interviews I have heard, are protesting that some people on Wall Street “make too much money. They don’t need $3 million bonuses to spend on luxuries, when there are so many poor and jobless people in the country.”

Hmm. That sounds right. Perhaps you might be tempted to join in their protests.

And you would be wrong.

Do Not Be Anxious! (Where have you heard that before?) That exhortation applies equally to you and the poor of this country: He will take care of you all. Don’t be angry at God or your neighbor because you do not see money being spent in “proper” ways --- “proper” being defined: as you would spend it. But I remind you: His ways are not our ways. Don’t let yourself be like Jonah, who didn’t understand why God didn’t punish Nineveh, the way he (Jonah) wanted it to be:

It displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. And he prayed to the Lord and said, “I pray thee, Lord, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish (and ended up in the whale); for I knew that Thou art a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and repentest of evil.” --- Jonah 4:2

Jonah saw sin in Nineveh like the Wall Street protesters see too much money: “Nothing good can come of this.” Punish them!! Jonah was wrong, and so are the protesters.

At the heart of the protesters concern is corporate profits, and what should be done with them. They would eliminate this “root of all evil.” So to alleviate our anxieties, let’s address their concerns and look at the possible options for use of those “evil” profits: 1)They can be re-invested in the company to improve or grow it; 2)They can be given to investors; 3)They can be given to employees (“but $3 million is too much” --- although I suspect some unions might disagree); 4)They can be returned to customers in the form of lower prices; or 5)They can be taken/taxed by the government so it can decide who deserves these monies.

Given these options, I suspect the protesters would object to options 2 or 3, grudgingly accept option 1, and prefer options 4 or 5. They would dislike options 2 or 3 because they may give individuals “too much money which they don’t need,” implying options 4 or 5 would result in spending that money in “proper” ways. But the protesters ignore or don’t understand three basic facts. First: All companies need profits/investments, to start up, to grow, and to remain competitive and exist. Options 1 and 2 are needed to provide money for companies to exist, and trying to price perfectly to eliminate excess profits, Option 4, would put needed profits at the risk of unpredictable supply and demand factors.

The Second basic often ignored fact is: All people MAY act out of greed or vanity, whether it is a rich man buying a yacht or a senator buying an unneeded airport to be named after him. Some people MAY spend money frivolously, whether as individuals or part of the government. Options 3 and 5 are basically the same, just different individuals spending the money.

And the Third basic fact is: MOST people don’t act out of greed. The majority of Americans believe in God, and generally accept Christian values and virtues. Americans give more money to charity than peoples of any other country in the world. The government gives no money to charity and is less efficient than charities at helping the poor. Even though some people make immoral choices for the use of their money, most do not --- although certainly ALL people could make better choices, even the poor.

So, given these facts, what should be done with those rich people “who have too much money”? Well, God and the Commandments and the Gospels are about what you, yourself, should do out of love. They are not about what you should MAKE others do. Note: There is no commandment that you should punish others who break the commandments. Do not be anxious about these things. Rather through example and evangelization encourage those who have more --- even “too much” --- to do as Jesus would do with their riches. Jesus commanded no rich man to give to the poor. He asked. He said If you would be my friend, …. And many heeded and followed His example.

The protesters in New York may feel righteous in their actions. Mandatory socialism, equal rewards for everyone, may sound like a good thing. To them I would offer only two additional facts: 1)Only in heaven will there be equal rewards for everyone, and 2)In dictating equal rewards on earth, they set themselves to be more righteous than Jesus, who neither dictated nor coerced any such thing.

Considering the facts, all the facts, and considering the implications of their actions, I for one would not choose to be one of the protesters on Wall Street, nor support their cause. I will not judge --- nor will I be anxious.

Avoid Evil, or Do Good?

2011-10-01T10:28:00.001-04:00

Sometimes we don’t learn the lessons of life as we should because they pass by so quickly, and we just are not paying attention. We so easily fit ourselves into this world of soundbites, and don’t stop to think, but just react. You can never grow in holiness, nor in wisdom, if you do not take time to stop and think, yet I believe few of us do. Time just spent in quiet, thinking, is so valuable.

The other day as I chatted briefly with the woman waiting on me at the coffee shop, she mentioned how she and her daughter were so proud of her grandchild, who came home from pre-school every day this past week with stars --- for not touching anyone. In previous weeks the child had been chastised, and even had a note sent home, because he had touched the other children. In the class, the woman explained, the 4-year old children are taught to respect another child’s space. And she thought this was a good thing.

I asked her how “Love Your Neighbor" could be taught in such an atmosphere. She responded: “Oh, they can’t mention religion or the ten commandments in school. That might be disrespecting some other child’s religion.”

Yes, it might, indeed.

I was much inclined to quickly conclude the conversation with a soundbite, and so I did: “Well I think that’s wrong, and your grandchild will be the worse for that type of education.” And I went on my way, coffee in hand. But later, I took time to think.

I thought it ironic that while teaching children to avoid the ten commandments, this lesson of “not touching” is teaching them to avoid evil. This lesson is made to sound like a good thing to the children and their parents: “Don’t touch anyone,” because it might turn out to be an evil thing. So if they are crying, you can’t hug them. If they are alone, you can’t hold their hand. It “might” be an evil thing.

This would almost be a funny thing (cue the laugh soundtrack) if this were not so sad. For such an over-sexualized culture, we’re teaching 4-year olds to avoid anything which might be construed as sexual, while we’re teaching 5-year olds in the same schools how to put on condoms. We teach “Avoid Evil,” even as we constantly change the definition of evil, so everyone becomes confused about evil, and what we should do about it. And of course the result is that we do nothing about evil.

And I wonder who is happy with that outcome?

In the adult world we see this “Avoid Evil” mindset carried out by many well-meaning individuals on a variety of topics. My favorite example are the environmental activists. The “Green” movement views as evil many things which could harm some individuals, or perhaps some animals, or even “mother” earth. This past week, for example, an oil company was sued by the federal government for the killing of a single bird as a result of its drilling process, and the bird itself was not on any endangered species list. But for many, the act of drilling for oil is an evil to be avoided, because it “might” result in hurting someone or something. Using this same mindset, I assume automakers, roadbuilders, and appliance makers could be sued also, because someone “might” die as a result of their products. And perhaps you could be sued also, because you “might” injure someone on your way to work.

And this is the mindset we are teaching our children: avoid evil, or even the possibility of evil. Is no one thinking anymore?

The only absolute way to avoid all evil, or all potential evil, is to do nothing. Eliminate all mankind and no man can do evil --- and there are some who even espouse this radical belief. Among some seemingly rational beings the issue is being categorized as one of priorities: Which is more important, to avoid evil or to do good? They would have you believe that first avoiding evil is necessary before you can do good, and so therefore it deserves the higher focus. They might even point to the commandments, the “Thou Shalt Not’s” as a justification for their beliefs.

But I believe they are wrong in their focus, and in their interpretations of even the commandments. All of the Old Testament tells us of a Jewish people growing in holiness. In the youth of their relationship with God, like children they were told what to do, and God, like a parent protected them --- and sometimes had to punish them. The Ten Commandments are firm laws on how they should behave. But as their relationship with God grew, a new covenant was made with them. Jesus came, and summarized the commandments as “Love God, and Love Your Neighbor.” There was no more specific “Thou Shalt Not’s”; they were replaced with what we should do, and the life of Jesus showed us how we should do those things, and why.

Jesus showed us that focusing on “Do Good” is much more important than trying to avoid evil. If we focus on knowing what good is, on growing in holiness, by knowing about Him and His life and His will, we need not worry about evil. Jesus lived among and talked with those deemed evil in His day; He didn’t avoid them. He didn’t worry about the poor, but rather said they’d be with us always. Evil will be with us always also.

And as some who do evil proudly admit: “It’s my choice.”

But we, followers of Jesus and His teachings must act as we say we believe: in Him, and in His example. And His primary example is about love. Do good toward your neighbor (and for those who need more specificity in this definition: your HUMAN neighbor), and you will be avoiding evil. Relative to the environment, human needs come before animals or dirt --- human NEEDS. And while some might dispute it, I place having a means I can afford of keeping warm in the winter as one of my needs, so I might categorize drilling for oil as a good. And if my neighbor should not be able to have a means of keeping warm, my adhering to the example of Jesus would have me inviting him to stay with me in my home. It’s up to me to love my neighbor, and show it in action.

And if my neighbor is afraid, it’s up to me to give him a hug. (And, fortunately, I guess, no school ever taught me that this was a bad thing.)

Archbishop Dolan's Letter to Obama

2011-09-28T10:08:00.001-04:00

I read with some interest (and sadness) Archbishop Dolan’s letter to President Obama last week, and commentaries which have flooded across the internet. Some avidly support “his” actions; some avidly oppose “his” actions. You can select which of the two men you think I refer to what I say “his” actions, because my ambiguous words serve to illustrate the problem I see.

We seem to have reached a point in America where most people think they know all the answers, on virtually anything. While there may be a few honest Bible-study groups going on across the country, elsewhere many people think they already know what it says and what it means; further study is unnecessary. They know.

Relative to comments on Archbishop Dolan’s letter, some staunchly defend President Obama’s actions and condemn the Archbishop for “wanting to dictate Catholic beliefs” on all Americans. And in some areas there are heated debates --- among Catholics --- as to what those beliefs are! And the defenders of Archbishops Dolan’s letter and principles cite many a Catholic bible, chapter and verse, as do his detractors.

But despite all the words written back and forth, it appears no one is reading them, because no one appears to be considering what is written. It appears they believe there is nothing to be learned in the exchanges, for they are confident they already know all there is to know. They know! Oh, it is not that they are not open-minded; they are. Explain to them (in a couple of sentences) some new deeply philosophical or theological insight --- in ten words or less --- and they are open to the new learning. Just hurry up and explain it, because their (“open”) mind is already planning their retort.

The Reverend Archbishop’s letter centers on the DOMA law – the Defense of Marriage Act – passed by Congress, signed by President Bush into law, and which President Obama directed the Justice Department not to enforce. The Archbishop’s letter points out that this is just one action in a dire trend of actions by this president. We are trending toward religious and other persecutions in America. The Executive Office, in religious matters, is saying: “We know” --- and you don’t --- and so you (religious people) must be stopped.

The Executive Branch of government chooses not to enforce one law, and through the EPA and various “czars” it creates and enforces other laws. It sues states for not enforcing some federal laws, while suing others (like Arizona) for enforcing some. It almost seems as if the actions of Congress and the states don’t matter, as the Executive Office chooses what laws do matter, or creates them. Perhaps the new Congressional “Committee of Twelve” seeking cost cuts and efficiencies should look at these trends and propose abolishing Congress and state governments; perhaps it would be more efficient for the Executive Office to run everything. Then the input of “we who don’t know” would be stopped, as an efficiency for the good of all America.

This form of governmental efficiency has a name: a dictatorship. We The People becomes I The Government.

Archbishop Dolan rightly points out our country’s trend. There are some who say this will not happen in America; they will “take the government back” in the next election and repeal any “unfair” actions. They say they will make things right again --- because “they know.”

I’m beginning to fear all those on the Right or the Left or the Middle who “know.” They want to give the American people what “they know” the government should do. What is forgotten in the rush to do what “they know” is right, is that whatever can be given to Americans can be taken away again --- by others “who know.”

So many people in political circles “know”, but it appears none of them are learning anything new. Even in the Church, where Catholics are called to “grow in holiness,” there are many who act as if they’ve reached their destination: their actions imply “No more growing is necessary for me, but let me MAKE you grow.”

Because, “I know.”

I often say here “Do Not Be Anxious,” my friends, and I do mean that. But that does not mean there aren’t reasons to pray. Many reasons.

I have incorporated into my daily prayers an appeal for God’s Mercy in our country. I don’t know what else to pray for, because I readily admit: amidst all those who “know,” I am proclaiming I do NOT know. And I fear that those who proclaim they DO know, don’t either.

Forgiveness For Abortion

2011-09-25T15:56:00.001-04:00

My last post on forgiveness and reconciliation concluded that the reason for my reconciliation, with God and with my neighbor, is so that I can love them, even as God loves them. Reconciliation is not just for me, it’s for them. That’s a key purpose of my life, to get myself and others to heaven, through God’s love, which He and I can bring to them.

I thought when I wrote this last one that it was a concluding meditation, but I guess not, because my mind wandered back over it again last night, and suddenly I realized there was more to be said. I cannot conclude my thoughts on the importance of life, without considering the implications of death, of taking a life.

I started out by recalling the three meditations I wrote on motherhood and giving life, which I started on Mother’s Day. In them my mind went from the realization of the importance of motherhood --- Jesus’ own mother was the only thing He took from this earth (The Assumption) --- to the reason for that importance: mothers, like God, bring forth life. And human life, created in the image of God, is the most precious thing in creation. It is a soul for God to love, the reason for His creative action, since he has no other obvious needs or wants from creation. Life exists that He might love, and that we exist that we might imitate His love.

And I realized last night that this conclusion was similar to that of my last post, on reconciliation. Reconciliation is important because it again enables God to love us, or us to imitate Him in our love of our neighbor. All these thoughts point to the importance of God’s Love, and the value and purpose of human life.

And then I thought further: If love, life, and reconciliation are so important for us to achieve what God MADE us for, then what of those who eliminate any possibility of those things happening? What of those who commit abortion, taking of a life created for and destined to satisfy God’s love?

Someone who commits abortion rejects God’s love, even as a spouse rejects her mate’s love by adultery; it is the ultimate act of betrayal. Life, the special gift of God to mothers, their special responsibility, is not only not brought to God (as I sometimes fail to bring some to Him), not only rejected (as I fail to forgive some of my neighbors), but it is also killed. One who commits abortion not only rejects reconciliation with God for herself, but also rejects a key purpose of her life, to bring others to God, and especially the one whose life was a precious gift to her to care for, and her alone. “I won’t come to Your banquet and I won’t seek to bring this other either, and I will kill him rather than let him come to You,” her actions seem to say. How horrible the thought!

So then, what of God’s desire for forgiveness and reconciliation in this situation? His child seems to be screaming at Him in words and action: “I hate You! I hate You! I hate You!!!” What now, of God’s desire to love?

My first reaction is one of horror in the face of this blind hatred. Hatred seems such an evil thing in itself. Sometimes hatred may be put in words, but I think hatred is especially felt by actions, by seeing the hateful actions of another --- even if the one doing the actions may not perceive the hurt they convey. The adulterer in a marriage looks to another person for some type of satisfaction, some fulfillment of something THEY WANT. And in the greed of their desire for themselves alone, they may not realize that there is something missing that THEY GIVE. The forgotten spouse feels the effect of adultery in the love not given to them, and in the rejection of their love. I perceive similar feelings are felt by God, when someone makes a “choice” for abortion. I’m sad for God, and wish I could do something to brighten His spirit.

I think, as with earthly parents who may have heard such words of hate from their teenage child, the only consolation possible for them is through reconciliation with their child. Words alone won’t fix the hurt; actions are needed. Despite the horrible rejection by a teenage child, the parents still want to love him. Despite the abortion, God still wants to love His child too. God always offers forgiveness, His love is always available, but how does the one who commits abortion actually reconcile with Him? The adulterer can tell his spouse that he now rejects his lover and ask forgiveness, vowing not to commit adultery again. Then the spouse’s forgiveness and reconciliation is in forgetting the adultery --- a most difficult, but possible, task --- but how can anyone, even God, forget that a child has been killed? A little child who was special to God was killed. How can God forgive and act as if it didn’t happen? How can the one who killed forget? It did happen, and the result of it continues on, like an empty chair at the eternal banquet. How can He not notice? How can He forget?

How can anyone make up for killing one of God’s little children? It is impossible.

But: With God, all things are possible.

So how does one seek forgiveness of God for committing abortion? Oh, the Sacrament of Reconciliation enables forgiveness and reconciliation, and anyone can seek it and be given absolution there. But even in being forgiven, how can the one who committed abortion imagine sitting at Christ’s eternal banquet, in total joy, with the empty seat next to her? Were it I, even if I were STILL invited to the banquet, I would be most reluctant to go. Even if offered and given forgiveness, I don’t know if I would be able to forgive myself.

And I think this is the situation with many a would-be-mother, who has killed her child.

But there is hope. All things are possible.

If the special guest you were asked to bring to the banquet, your little child, can no longer come (for reasons both you and God know), I think the next best thing you can do to please God, the banquet host, is to bring someone else. I think God would understand this, and be pleased at your extra action to ensure His banquet is a total success. Surely in this world there are many lost souls, one-time friends of God who turned away, or perhaps just forgot Him. I believe you can please God very much by bringing that someone to the banquet to sit in that empty chair next to you. Bringing God’s long-lost friend to the banquet will give Him great joy: “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’ve missed you. I am so glad that you are here.” And then God will look over the long-lost friend’s shoulder, and He will smile at you for bringing him.

And you may even find that the long-lost friend of God, the one who did not seem destined for heaven, but who you found and brought along is, surprisingly, you. And I think this would please God very much.

You can never make up for the child you prevented from receiving God’s eternal love, but that does not mean there is nothing you can do. You can’t expect to create a bed of roses from a pile of lemons, but you can make lemonade.

And the taste can be sweet, if you put enough love and commitment in it, for with God, “all things are possible.”

Lord, it is not for myself that I live, but for Thee. Turn from my great sins, please, or surely I shall die. But I know that in Thee all things are possible because You are all love.

Despite my sins, give me Your great Love, O Lord, and I shall attempt to spread it throughout the world. This I promise You. Not just for me Lord, but for all Your children, have mercy on me, and I shall share Your Love with those I meet, that together we might meet you in eternity.

“Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interests, but also those of others.
---- Philippians 2

Does God Miss Sinners?

2011-09-23T11:17:00.002-04:00

I’ve had some continuing thoughts of late on forgiveness, repentance, and reconciliation. I’ve come to the general conclusion that reconciliation is what Jesus calls for in Matthew 5 and 18 --- that’s where there has been repentance sought and forgiveness given --- but that forgiveness is called for even without repentance, or at least the willingness to forgive. That’s the “you must forgive seventy times seven” thing, I think. But the point of reconciliation is to achieve more than just one-sided forgiveness, it’s to restore a broken relationship, which seems a good thing. Jesus died for it. Without reconciliation between God and sinner, something would be missing from the Body of Christ, and heaven might be less for it.

Question: So what? I know that if I don’t reconcile with my brother I am the less for it because our relationship brings something to me --- and to him. But what of God’s relationship to us? Is somehow Christ less for the missing sinners? But He’s God; God doesn’t need anything, much less the dust of man He created. So how does God somehow miss sinners? Being God, He does not need them, or anything.

I know that being open to forgiveness is for me the same as the actual act of forgiving. If the one I wish to be reconciled with does not wish the same, I still can be open to forgiving him (or asking his forgiveness). Whether reconciled or not, I can push the “sin” into history and forget it. In Matthew 18, it says that if he won’t be reconciled with me, ultimately I should treat him like a tax collector or Gentile --- and move on with my life. I know that forgiveness by itself it not as good as reconciliation for me, but I can move on without the reconciliation I desire. But what of Christ?

Christ cannot treat a lack of reconciliation as I do. Through reconciliation I definitely gain something I didn’t have before, if my brother comes back into my life. My life is better for his being a part of it. But Christ has no need of anyone, so He can’t gain from being reconciled with sinners in the same sense that I gain. Christ desires reconciliation with the sinner so that He can love him, and share His being with him. Christ wants reconciliation for all He wants to give --- He wants to give so much that He even gave His life. But I view reconciliation considering what I might gain from my brother, not give.

Or am I looking at my concept of the purpose and benefit of reconciliation wrong?

Christ desires reconciliation with man so that Christ can give man more. Should I be seeking reconciliation with my brother, my neighbor, so that I can give him more? That sounds kind of like: “Hey! I want you to be my friend so that I can give you my money.” And that doesn’t sound logical. And it is not. I was tending to look at my relationship to my brother and neighbor in earthly terms --- what you can give me or what I can give you, of earthly treasures. How Christ is viewing a renewed relationship with man is in terms of spiritual treasures. If He can give us His love, and we accept it, we will ultimately be joined in eternity, forever. That’s not some earthly, short-term treasure. He wants to give us, ultimately, eternal happiness, not short-term happiness. And we, too, should think in those terms in thinking about our desire to be reconciled with our brother.

If Christ is not reconciled to the sinner, Christ DOES lose something: the eternal presence of that being with Him in heaven. It is a loss to the Body of Christ. If I am not reconciled to someone who sins against me (or me against him), we are risking our eternal loss also. Failing to love our neighbor, to GIVE love to him, is failing in the second great commandment. It’s a key to the whole purpose of our existence, to give love, to God and neighbor. Our life is not about ours alone. Our neighbor is here. We are not born to ONLY get ourselves into heaven, but help to love our neighbor enough to get him there also --- because that is what God desires, and it should be what we desire too.

Heaven without the sinners who don’t repent and be reconciled is like the banquet where no one came. Oh, in the parable when the invitees did not come to the banquet the lord sent out his servants to the byways and invited anyone in. But, since we are invited to this great heavenly feast, wouldn’t it be good if we showed up?

Part of the reason for our requirement to forgive and love our neighbor is to ensure that the banquet hall of heaven if full. It’s to ensure that the talents we were given aren’t buried in the ground, but returned with more. It’s to ensure that we ourselves are welcomed, as a good and faithful servant, for a job well done.

We don’t have to worry that God will miss sinners if they don’t make it to heaven. We have to worry that God might might miss us, if a sinner fails to reach heaven through our pride and failure to be reconciled with him.

Ba-Ba-Ba, Barbara Ann

2011-09-21T22:53:00.000-04:00

Summer’s officially over, but tonight as I came out of mom’s house the temperature was still the 70’s. One last night of nice warm, and yet cool night air. And so I started the car, rolled down the windows, and put in a Beach Boys CD --- and turned the music up loud. The first track was Barbara Ann; for me that’s summer music.

As I slowly drove through Plymouth (the speed limit in town is 25 miles per hour), the music switched over to Little Deuce Coupe, and I sang along. The last words of Help Me Rhonda were playing as I entered the chapel parking lot, and I let the song finish before rolling up the windows and getting out. (I wondered briefly if Jesus liked the Beach Boys music?) In the chapel I said my rosary and night prayers, and then skipped my usual reading of one of Newman’s Sermons in favor of a few pages of, of all things, Peter Kreeft’s latest book. I think this one I’ll have to read all the way through to be able to consider how to review it, but the beginnings are a treasure, like fine wine, to be slowly sipped and thought about, and talked about --- with a friend, of course. And who better to chat with about my thoughts and feelings than Jesus, there on the altar.

Now this book, I know He would have liked.

Going home, driving through town The Sloop John B, and then Catch a Wave played. There were few people on the streets of Plymouth, so alive during the summer nights but now just quiet. The indoor clubs and bars were still active; I could tell by all the cars parked on the streets and in the lots, but by 10:30 even they were winding down on this weekday night. So You Wanna Dance was playing as I turned into my subdivision. I wondered what the neighbors were thinking. I was one of those people who played loud music as they rolled down the quiet subdivision streets at night --- or at least on this night.

This last warm night of summer end was a good night, even for the few minutes I rolled down the street and sang with the radio. Isn’t that a good part of what makes summer enjoyable? Good music, good wine, good reading, good company, the things of good times. Life is good.

I think I’ll stop here and go sit on the swing on the back deck, and have that glass of wine.

It’s supposed to rain later tonight.

Acing The Class

2011-09-19T12:02:00.000-04:00

In the parable of the vineyard workers, heard this Sunday, we heard of the same reward being given regardless of the hours of labor. For most of us, this seems unfair. Now I got the rewards part of the parable (or think I did): heaven can be gained by everyone, whether a life-long Christian working hard, or a convert in the last minute of his life. And while perhaps not fair from an earthly point of view, the blessing of being offered this reward is just that: a blessing. And we all thank God for it. But that is looking at this parable from God’s gift point of view, but I think our concerns with the parable stem from our work and man’s point of view.

Another way of looking at the same situation might be to consider students taking a test. Some study for days on end, and get a 100% score on the test, while some others seem only to glance at the textbook and yet get the same 100% score. To the ones who studied so hard, it almost seems unfair – but they don’t think the teacher is the one being unfair. Jesus explained that the vineyard owner paying the same wage regardless of the hours worked IS being fair, in the eyes of God. The example of the students’ work perhaps makes it clearer for the eyes of man: we don’t see the teacher as being unfair in giving 100% to each student, regardless of their work to achieve the score. In fact, the 100% score is more greatly appreciated by the ones who worked harder to get it, is it not? Would you want it otherwise?

We are used to thinking of life, and our dealings with other people, in terms of barter. If you give me one, I’ll give you one --- assuming that each of the “ones” is the same. But in real life, barter considers other things. Sometimes the “ones” are not the same, so you must give me two of your less-valuable ones, and I’ll give you my one in return; the trade is of things equating to the same value. And sometimes things may appear to be the same, but someone has a greater desire for the trade than another: I really want your red one, so I’ll trade you two blue ones. The vineyard parable is from this viewpoint, that Jesus has a greater desire for us to get to heaven than perhaps we have a desire to get there --- there are so many distractions here on earth, so He offers us a “better deal” to make our trade.

I suspect members of some Protestant churches like the vineyard parable from a slightly different viewpoint. Payment guaranteed, a gift to all, once saved always saved. Eternal life (or a 100% test score) is available to all, and this is true. But what some may forget, or don’t notice in the parable, is that the vineyard workers (like the students) work, and continue to work to the end of the day. Not until midday, or one, or three o’clock, but to the end. If they walk away before the end, regardless of the hours worked, they will be skipping the payment at the end. Oh works do not in themselves justify the reward, it is a gift, but still the work is necessary to demonstrate the commitment to receiving the gift, and in effect testifying to its value.

Like Jesus notes, the payment is just --- but so is the work. No, the work (or works) don’t justify the payment, it is freely offered, but still the work must be done. (And it must be work in the vineyard owner’s field, not another’s field.) But let’s expand the examples a bit to illustrate another point about work. While the vineyard workers may get a daily wage, it is possible that a generous vineyard owner will offer a bonus when the entire field is picked, perhaps requiring several days or even weeks. The student may ace a particular test, but there will likely be more than one test in the course, and perhaps he has a goal of acing the class. He will have to take more tests. Do you see what will happen over the period of the entire course? The student who studied so hard to ace the first test will find that as he continues to work hard he will gain some of the knowledge (like holiness?) that the other student already has: the dumber student will become smarter. So that by the final exam, it is entirely possible that the “dumber” student will not have to spend nearly as much time to get the final 100% score. He has grown in wisdom during the course --- which was the whole point of the course! The same holds true with the vineyard worker, or us living our lives. Skills honed through practice, means you can do more with less; perhaps you can complete your allotted field area sooner and can help someone else with theirs, perhaps out of a desire to please the vineyard owner.

Every worker in the vineyard benefits from working to accomplish his assigned task, as does every student. They both work toward a known and desired reward, and their work helps them to achieve it. It is an earthly thing to want a reward, for ourselves; but it is a heavenly thing to want a reward solely to satisfy the vineyard owner or the teacher. Working for ourselves, it is receiving. Working for others, it is giving. And it is always more blessed to give than to receive. If you receive $10 for mowing your parents’ lawn, is it the same feeling as when you mow the neighbor’s lawn for the same wage?

And that is truly the lesson of growing in holiness, of working in the vineyard, that we so often miss. It is not only about what you gain, but why you do it. Whose vineyard do you think it is?

Free, At Last

2011-09-15T11:19:00.002-04:00

Lord, by Your cross and resurrection, You have set us free. You are the Savior of the world.

Set us free? Even as I said those words at mass this morning my mind switched over onto a different train of thought. Even as my mouth followed the priest and everyone else present down the continuing mainline of the mass, my mind switched over onto a rail siding, and stopped there. There was something at this destination that I felt I had to pick up --- or perhaps deliver.

What was Jesus setting us free from, by His cross and resurrection? Free from sin? No, I am living witness that He did not deliver me from sin; it comes and remains with me far too easily. Free from hell? Oh no, I fear that destination may well be in the cards for me; I pray that prayer MOST sincerely: “Free us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to heaven …” --- especially me. So then what?

In truth, when I think of what Jesus gained for us (and for God) by His cross and resurrection, I think of heaven. The doors of heaven were once again opened for us. His death made it possible for us to be reconciled with Him and BE with Him forever, a huge, unimaginable gift. His cross gave me a gift beyond my yearnings, beyond anything I could imagine I could ever earn by myself, or deserve. It was a huge gift, this possible destination of bliss for all eternity. But in giving this gift, what did He take away; what does that prayer mean when it says: You have set us free?

In meditating on the book of Job in recent days, I discovered that at the time of Job many Jewish people did not believe in a life after death. After Adam, Genesis told them man was cast out of Eden. A Messiah was eventually promised, but He was not yet here. For Job, then, this life was all there was. That’s why Job’s trust is a most remarkable thing. With no promise of a heaven for all his earthly sufferings, still Job chose to trust in God. It was a remarkable example he set for the Jews.

But Jesus, by His cross and resurrection set us free. What He set us free from was, I believe, was the life that Job saw. After Jesus, we were no longer limited to this earthly life, but an eternal continuing life, was ours to be had. Jesus set us free from the limits of the book of Job. Life and death had a totally new meaning than that understood by Job. We weren’t just living our lives in obedience, as slaves, but in trust, as sons. Our Father showed us how and why to live good lives, and/or bear sufferings --- so we would be with Him forever.

In a way, our required trust in God has lessened from that required of Job, for we now trust in the promises of Jesus, and man has seen or heard Jesus. He has lived as one of us. “Seeing is believing”, and mankind has seen.

Jesus has set us free from the limitations of this world, and opened our eyes. We were all blind men, but now we can see.

We are indeed set free. Praise be to Our Lord Jesus Christ. You have set us free. You are indeed the Savior of the world.

Review: John Paul II, We Love You

2011-09-10T10:07:00.004-04:00

Let’s get this out of the way right up front: For me, this is a terrible book.

I’ve only completed two chapters of the book, but I can write this review without having yet read the rest. I mean, every morning as I read a couple of pages in the chapel, there I am, tears running down my face, sobbing, sniffling, blowing my nose, and generally looking like an old idiot. I’m sure people around me must be thinking: “The old guy’s lost it. Perhaps we should call the guys in the white coats.” This book just does terrible things to me.

Terribly wonderful.

Perhaps the book’s impact is just on me. I’ve read so much of what JPII has written; I’ve heard so many of his speeches; I’ve seen him so many times. And this book brings back all the wonderful memories of those times, the faith-building words, the hope, and the love I felt when around anything this man has done. And perhaps it is also the miracles I know he has worked on my behalf, especially the time when I first prayed to him for his intercession, as my sister lay dying. My prayer to him was answered within the hour, and a great peace overcame all my anxieties. And I knew it was him who helped make it happen. Maybe it’s just for me, that he is a most special man.

But as this book so clearly presents, he is a very special man for so many people.

The book, written by Father Peter Mitchell, is centered around his thoughts and experiences during the last days of Pope John Paul II, and his funeral. Father Mitchell --- “I am a priest of the JPII generation” --- was scheduled to complete his studies in Rome and come home to America, but received permission to stay, and was there in the pope’s last days. His thoughts are written, but even more are the thoughts of many others, of the youths of the “JPII generation.” Their stories of how the pope impacted them with his words, and in so many cases just with a look, a glance, of his eyes are so moving to me. They bring to mind all those feelings I also had of the man, of the saint. As part of my morning meditations I am also reading another book, about all the doctors of the Church; surely he rivals the greatest of them.

The young people who write in this book about their experiences with the pope most often cite the impact of their participation in various World Youth Day events. Some could not forget his words; for some, a brief touch struck them like electricity; and for some his eyes looked into their souls, and for the first time they could see their souls too. So many lives were forever changed merely by his glance. So many heard his words, and thought he was speaking only to them: “Trust God because He trusts you.”

And so many cried in happiness.

This is another book which will be on my Christmas give-away list. I’ll make sure to give copies to my younger acquaintances. I wonder if they will feel its impact also.

This is the Start

2011-09-08T10:47:00.002-04:00

I’ve been to a number of groundbreakings in my life. No, no one has ever asked me to turn over that first shovel full of dirt, but I’ve enjoyed participating in those celebrations. Often after years of planning, something you could physically see was finally happening.

In my career, many of the “groundbreakings” were actually the signing of contracts, contracts which we had spent many long months, sometimes even years, negotiating. I was never at those contract signings, but on the final day of negotiations the negotiating team members invariably celebrated. Any difficulties, any bitterness along the way, were forgotten. The fruits of all our preparations were going to start to blossom. We could envision good results in the future.

Today the Catholic Church celebrates the Birth of Mary. Destined to be the Mother of God, she was special from the start, for she was “The Start”. She was the beginning of God’s promise to mankind. She was the beginning of a unique contract between God and man, a contract that once existed in the Garden of Eden, but which was broken by man. Yet God so wanted this contract that he did something that no earthly negotiator would ever do, He made it a totally uneven agreement. He put on the negotiating table something far more valuable than anything man could offer Him; He offered His only Son. It was an offer no man, nor even no god, could not accept. He offered EVERYTHING so that we could again be in agreement. And with Mary’s birth, the contract was physically started.

I wonder if the heavens celebrated.

Yet with Mary’s birth there were many more physical things to be done, just like the first shovel full of dirt doesn’t mean the building is done. Much work remained, often difficult work, often dangerous, even deadly work. And while there was joy along the way, there was also sadness. But as the rosary prayers remind us, while there were the Joyful and Sorrowful Mysteries of Mary and Jesus’ life, oh, there were the Glorious too.

Mary’s birthday is a feast day in the Church. In truth, it was the physical start of the Church, the groundbreaking of the agreement between God and man, and the Church which would spread throughout the world, as Jesus said it would. I wonder when God was planning for this great work, what were His thoughts? Was He seeing the great results, or was He seeing the hard work necessary to achieve them? But He was God, and He knew the work started would yield great results; it would be worth the effort, even the great pain.

Sometimes I think that is part of our problem in life, in that we are not like God in this regard. We can envision things being better for us, our lives having more joy, and we can see the work necessary to achieve that “happy ending” but, unlike God, we are not at all sure that we can achieve the result, that we can handle the pain along the way. And that’s where faith comes in.

The contract between God and man is a done deal. You can read about it. Jesus, God, as one of the terms of the contract said: “I will be with you always.” We look at so many of the difficult choices we have to make in life, and we have fear: “This is difficult. Can I do this?” But in this, we are thinking the wrong thoughts. We forget the contract we have with God. The real question isn’t: “Can I do this?” The question is: “Can WE do this?” And the answer is: With God, all things are possible.

So what are the things you wish were different in your life, the joys that you can envision if only some difficult task were done? Can you envision finally being sober, or not addicted to drugs anymore? Can you envision your family not arguing anymore? Can you envision yourself being happy in the Catholic faith, as so many, like me, are? Can you envision yourself retired?

Whatever it is that you can envision will bring you greater joy and peace, you can do, with God. Oh, it will take plans and perhaps negotiations between you and God --- you need to talk to Him in prayer – but at some point you’ll have to do the physical part. Like the groundbreaking, like the birth of Mary, all good on this earth must begin with a decision to do something, and then the start of action.

Even if the road be long, and perhaps painful, have faith that God will keep His end of the contract and be with you. And then start.

And who knows, perhaps someday I will hear from you or meet you, and together we will celebrate your birthday, your great start. Wouldn’t that be grand?

I love a good party.

Happy birthday, Mary. Happy birthday. Oh what a great start you were.

Should I Be A Priest?

2011-09-05T08:36:00.002-04:00

That is a question many young men ask themselves at some point in their life. And certainly there are many reasons for and against the proposition. But the real answer to the question lays not in some quantitative analysis of the pros and cons, it is in a discussion between a man and his God. What we others can do, however, is not interfere in that discussion.

I have mentioned before that I am blessed in that my small parish has many programs supportive of young men and women who might be considering religious life, and parents actively speak with pride of sons and daughters in religious orders or on spiritual pilgrimages around the world. There are thirty from the parish presently in religious formation programs to be priests or nuns.

I recently supported a young woman who taught at an orphanage in Ghana for a year, and yesterday a bishop from Uganda presided at mass in my parish and told us of the great blessings wrought by our support of a sister parish in Uganda. He was at our parish visiting one of his young priests, who was in a study program nearby. Uganda is a largely Catholic country. In his archdiocese, he told us, there are 95 men in study for priesthood, he sends 10% of his priests as missionaries to other African countries, and more recently he has answered the call of a U.S. diocese, and sent four priests to work in America. He was thanking us and not asking us for money --- although, he opined, you could offer to pay for the studies of one of his seminarians, almost all of who come from very poor families. He laughed as he said his little “however,” and so did we, but he did bring up a serious point: money is a serious impediment to many young men and women entering religious life, even here in the United States.

It was totally by accident that I heard of a man and his wife who have started a non-profit organization to raise money for men and women who cannot afford to enter religious life. Even as we pray for more vocations, there are some people who believe they may HAVE vocations, yet are prevented from entering religious orders because of money problems: they have college debts. Most religious orders, with a vow of poverty, cannot afford to help pay the college debts of potential new members, and so they turn away potential vocations, telling them to come back after they have paid off their loans. Of course, after working for years in secular jobs, most don’t come back. A call from God, an answer to our prayers, an opportunity, lost.

The Mater Ecclesiae Fund For Vocations is a non-profit organization which takes on the college debts of young men and women wanting to enter religious life. As long as they continue pursuing their vocation, it assumes payment of their debt, paying it off entirely shortly after they make their final vows. It is a wonderful idea of cooperation between the laity and the newly religious, however … even here, there are money problems. Each year the Fund turns away many applicants for aid because it does not have sufficient resources to help all who seek aid. I don’t know if they have surveyed what happens to those they turn away – I’m afraid to ask.

Starting next year, when the Fund does its deliberation on which applicants it can accept, and considers how much money it has available before it must turn applicants away, I have asked it to move the cutoff line one person over, to accept just one more request for assistance it had planned to deny. I will commit to support payment of the debt of that young man or woman while they enter religious life and discern if they have a vocation. I understand it is a multi-year commitment, while they study, and so I offered to include any commitments in my will. The Fund was willing to work with me and my offer.

How could I be praying for an increase in vocations every day, if I am not willing to help those God has chosen? I believe He answers our prayers; how could I not be grateful for His answer? But even with my offer, the Fund will be turning away many others. I am not asking that any who might read this support the Mater Ecclesiae Fund, but as the Ugandan bishop politely said: however ….

This is the prayer I say daily for vocations.

Litany and Prayer for Priests
God, the Father of Heaven and Earth, Have mercy on us.
God, the Son Lord Redeemer of the World, Have mercy on us.
God, the Holy Spirit, etc.
Holy Trinity, One God, etc.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, etc.

That you see fit to preserve our Holy Father the Pope and all ranks of the Church,
We beseech you, hear us.
That you see fit to call back to the unity of the Church all who have strayed from the truth,
We beseech you, hear us.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, Intercede for us, pray for priests.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, etc.
Queen of the Most Holy Rosary, etc.
Gate of Heaven, etc.
Our Lady of Guadeloupe, etc.

Archangel Michael defender of the faith, Intercede for us, pray for priests.
Saint John the Baptist, etc.
Saint Peter, etc.
All you holy angels & archangels, etc.
All you holy patriarchs & prophets, etc.
All you holy apostles & evangelists, etc.
All you holy martyrs, etc.
All you holy bishops & confessors, etc.
All you holy doctors, etc.
All you holy priests & clerics, etc.
All you holy monks & hermits, etc.
All you holy men & women, etc.
Saints of God, etc.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, we trust in You.

Let us pray --
Father, You have appointed Your Son Jesus Christ as eternal High Priest, guide those He has chosen to be ministers of word and sacrament & help them to be faithful in fulfilling the ministry they have received.

Let us pray that no man who asks the question: “Should I be a priest,” answers that he can’t afford to be.

And Job Laughed

2011-09-02T11:05:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I wrote about the Eternal Accountant, and balancing the books, and trusting in God, all well and good things. But in the past 24 hours, I learned a bit more. And I felt that the Job of the Old Testament was calling to me. And laughing: My boy, you don’t know a THING about trust.

I wrote yesterday of the daily things you come to rely upon, like being able to pay your bills each month. I wrote about how the simple things can mean much to others, who are not as blessed as we. And I wrote about how we can and must help each other. Part of God’s answering our prayers is in accepting His answers via others, and giving of His answers to others via us. But most of the things I wrote about were not really critical things. Were I truly unable to pay my bills this month I might have had to humble myself a bit, but I could have called upon friends. Were people really hungry this month, they could find food at a soup kitchen, if they could humble themselves to go there. For most of our needs there are answers in this Body of Christ, and we can and should help one another. We can and should be able to trust one another, here.

Most of our issues of trust, and my examples yesterday, are more like “I trust in the Post Office,” rather than “I trust in God.” An important letter or bill must arrive on time, and I trust in the Post Office to deliver it ---- but it does 99.9% of the time, even without my worries or perhaps prayers. Perhaps at a basketball game I may trust the man at the foul line to make the free throw --- he has made 75% of them in the past. I think perhaps much of our reliance on God is for things like this, things He has reliably delivered to us, time and time again. And even if it is somewhat less frequent, the 3-point shot by the guard who hits them a third of the time, still we can have much confidence in God to deliver, especially in the crucial situations.

I think Job would say that that is not a real critical test of your trust.

Job might ask: “Are you willing to bet your house on the team which is one point down in the game, with one second to go, and is just inbounding the ball on the opposite end of the court?” If you really and truly are, without worry or anxiety as to the outcome, THAT is trust. Job knew about trust. Job not only couldn’t pay his bills, he lost all his possessions, yet still he said: “I trust in you, my God.” Job lost all his family and friends, yet still he said: “I trust in you, my God.” Job lost all his health and was in terrible pain --- and God wouldn’t let him die --- yet still he said: “I trust in you, my God.”

That’s trust.

For us, trust in God is when we are “all in,” and committed in situations in which we could see nothing else to do, but to totally commit. The spouse who says: “There is no work here, we’ll have to pick up and move to a new state and trust we’ll find work there.” That is trust. The parent who hears the doctor say: “There’s only a 20% chance of success with this surgery,” and after praying to God says: “Let’s do this.” That’s trust. The spouse who accepts the adulterer’s apology and says: “Okay, you’re forgiven; let’s move on from here.” That’s trust. The soldier who says: “The only way we can get out of this is for me to rush the enemy position; cover me.” That is trust. Trust isn’t just expecting the outcome you hope and pray for, the good job or the successful surgery, or that your life will be spared, trust is expecting that the outcome will be successful, even if it is not the one you prayed for. Trust is expecting that whatever the outcome, God wills it for us, and there is a good thing there, even if we cannot see it. Even if, like Job, all we see is disaster.

I’ve been working on a project for well over a year. After praying, I thought it was as God willed, so I proceeded as best I could. I enlisted others and they spent much time and effort. I trusted in others who said they’d help. All seemed well and good, even if there were struggles along the way. And then as I neared the end, one who had supported me all the way, who said “trust in me,” told me yesterday that they would not do as they promised. Perhaps a key part of the whole project, now gone.

What do you do when someone you thought of as a friend lets you down? What do you do when you fear you are going to let others down? What do you do when you think you are going to be laughed at?

I wrote some meditations for the rosary a while back. Under the Annunciation, when the angel asked Mary to commit to accepting a pregnancy, when everyone knew she was not yet married, I wrote this meditation, as I imagined what perhaps were her thoughts: How can I do this? This will cause me shame, embarrassment, deep sacrifice or pain, public humiliation. Do You want this? I pray that meditation both to feel Mary’s pain, and to admit that sometimes I feel those exact same pains. I ask those exact same questions when REALLY difficult trials face me. Like this one.

But then I read down to the next meditation line, where I suspect Mary’s thoughts then went, or rather both her thoughts and that of the angel: Do not be afraid. Four simple words from God’s messenger, and from God Himself: Trust in Me.

When the shock of my letdown yesterday hit, I was asking some of those questions I thought Mary asked. There was a strong inclination to “do something,” to take charge and figure out what I should do next. I thought of what alternatives were possible, were there ways to salvage this year’s worth of work, this year’s worth of trust. Instead I waited, and spent time asking God: “What would You have me do?”

I could imagine a now healthy, somewhat rotund Job laughing loudly at my situation: Har! Har! Har!! What now of your trust, my boy, what now? Go read of my trials again, and learn what trust really is.

And so I shall.

The Eternal Accountant

2011-09-01T12:53:00.002-04:00

Give without counting the cost.
--- Prayer of St. Ignatius of Loyola

The credit card bills arrived in the mail this month. Ack!! They totaled more than my entire month’s income, and that before considering the property taxes, which are also due this month. The savings account is its usual dusty drawer, and so the home equity line of credit account will be tapped -- again, for a while. Next month a CD matures, and it will be money enough to pay off the loan and get back to breakeven.

Even with the bank, and even with God.

It was nearly twenty five years ago when I first told God: “Tell me what You wish me to do, no matter what, and I will do it.” When I made that promise, I had in mind cleaning up my sinful ways, focusing on loving my neighbor more, and later, perhaps even selling my house and going to wherever He might send me, to do what He might ask. It was a sincere commitment, but somehow when talking to God then, I did not have in mind financial matters. I did not consider that He might ask me to sell everything and follow Him. Take no bag for the journey (Mt 10:10) was not on my mind, nor the above prayer of St. Ignatius. Those things would come later.

I’m not sure whether not balancing my checkbook or giving without counting came first, but somewhere along the years they both happened. If something appeared to be what God wished me to give to, I did, regardless of the money in the checking account. And there was always money enough, or money came in at just the right time, like the inheritance this year from the unknown relative, or the CD coming available next month, at just the right time. And if push came to shove, I knew I could always tap into the retirement funds, although I had planned to give those to charity. But I stopped worrying a while back, and trusting. Now I know you may say: “Must be nice, having enough money to fall back on so that you needn’t worry.” Yes, the fact that I saved all my years is a blessing now.

I know not everyone has money to give, as I do, but I do believe that everyone has something to give, even if it is a little thing, like the widow’s mite. It can be time at a soup kitchen, canned goods to a food drive, or even cutting an ailing neighbor’s lawn: we all can give something. And, for that matter, when we have given all that we think we have to give, we can always give more, just a little more.

How often have you prayed the prayer popularized by St. Faustina: My Jesus, I trust in You? Do you really pray that prayer sincerely, really trusting Him? If you are telling Him you trust in Him, I’d advise you, don’t lie! Trust in Him! You may be very poor, you may have no free time at all, you may be physically ailing, but REALLY, can’t you spare one hour of the 720 hours in a month and trust that He won’t somehow ease your burdens so the hour is available for the needs of others? Can’t you spare one can of soup to a food bank without starving? Can’t you find time to pray one hour with Him at a chapel, or even make the chapel your room, or even your bed, if you are ailing? Can’t you give of any of these things? And if you are giving that and more, then can’t you give that little, tiny bit more also?

I don’t worry about giving and not having enough money; it always seems to be there, like the jar that won’t run dry. God is the eternal accountant; He balances my checkbook. But He balances more than just financial accounts like my checkbook, He also balances heavenly accounts. But I confess to you, I find these heavenly accounts strange and beyond my understanding.

The worker who works only the last hour is paid the full days wages. The prodigal son who returns is given a feast. And some seemingly unknown women who wait with well-oiled lamps are invited into a wedding feast, while some who appear to be relatives are not.

For the eternal accountant, it doesn’t seem to take much on the Credit side of the ledger to balance against the many Debits. I don’t understand, but I give thanks, and try to do even the small things, even if I don’t have the time, or money, or talent. I trust that He will fix the outcome somehow, if I but try. My Jesus, I trust in You.

Try praying that prayer sometime, and then acting like you mean it, for He IS balancing accounts.

Your wisdom, goodness, and mercy have simply overlooked my many faults and sins. Because of your merciful forgiveness, I have made your charity and love of neighbor my own. Have I been coerced? Not by my own virtues, but by your love. I pray that that same love will cause you to enlighten my mind with the light of faith, so that I may know and understand the truth you have shown me. May I remember your blessings, that I may burn with the fire of your love. May that fire inspire me to give my own body and blood, together with your blood, and then through obedience let me unlock the gate of heaven. With all my heart I beg this same blessing on everyone who makes up the Mystical Body of Christ.

--- from The Dialogue by St. Catherine of Siena (Number 167)

Hard Lessons

2011-08-29T11:11:00.001-04:00

It seems funny sometimes, the things you remember, words or events that in themselves seem insignificant, and they happened so long ago. Why remember these? Of all the important things which happened to us, memories we wish we had, people and places that we wish we could recall more of, why do we remember some trivial events?

I think it is because that perhaps they were not so trivial.

I recall the only course I ever failed in my life, a course in Physics. That semester there had been a number of problems on the railroad where I worked, and I put in many long hours, extra shifts I enjoyed for the money they generated, but my sleep and schoolwork suffered. For that particular class, which I missed most often (the professor told us dates of all tests on the first day of class), the professor eventually sent me a note: “If you wish to drop this course, you must notify the registrar’s office.”

I hadn’t dropped the course; I just skipped most of the classes. Well, in truth, perhaps all of them. So it shouldn’t have been surprising when I failed the one question final exam: “Describe the forces impacting a penny rolling on a table.” I can even recall turning the exam paper over, looking for more on the other side: That’s it??

And I can also recall thinking: “Uh-oh.”

I think I described with equations and words the obvious forces affecting the penny, such as gravity, momentum, centrifugal force and even mentioned friction, but neglected the less obvious forces, like electromagnetic forces or the rotation of the earth or even the gravity of the moon. And I even neglected to mention the factors which would impact the degree of these forces, like the tilt or roughness of the table, whether it was a new or old penny, and whether it was made of copper or steel. I wrote the obvious answers, but not some of the key things I was to have learned in the class: many things in science --- and life --- are not obvious, many important things.

Acutely aware of my failure to attend class, I don’t think the professor was inclined to look with favor (or pity) on my simple answers, and he rightly failed me for the course. Oh, I made up the class at summer school, but I still vividly recall the failure. Of all the great classes, interesting classes which I took in college, why do I remember that one, the failure, so strongly?

But perhaps it is not really the failure that I recall. At some deeper level, perhaps what I recall is the lesson. With that failure I learned to focus on all of my subsequent classes and to look at the big picture --- each class was necessary for the degree. And with that failure came shame: I never told my father I had failed the class, so I resolved to never fail another. And perhaps in recalling the question on the final I am also recalling deeper lesson: the real heart of a situation, the important point --- especially when viewed by another --- is often not the obvious point. And, perhaps, sometimes the question or situation in life is not really important at all --- despite what I may think --- but rather what is important is how people perceive me in the situation, my intentions, my faith, my love. Thinking back on that professor, for instance, regardless of my answer to the test question, I don’t think he thought much of me as a student. That was the important point.

How many people do I impact with my life who don’t think much of me as a man, or as a spouse, or as a Christian? Do my actions or words matter to them as much as whom they perceive me to be? If they see me as greedy, as ego-driven, as self-important, as not caring about them or thinking them important, can they really care about what I say or do? Will they learn any lessons from me? Despite my sincere prayers to God, can I really be an instrument of His peace?

I remember lessons from my dad, given to me as I grew to maturity. It seems the ones I most readily recall are the ones which put some limits on me, at times when I felt it right for me to proceed without limits. “Don’t borrow money from your bowling league’s treasury, son. I’ll always give you money if you need it.” And “Don’t curse like that, son. You may be angry, but God will always be your true friend, if you treat Him with the respect of one.”

Dad’s advice that I recall was limiting to me, and in some way it hurt my ego or shamed me. Somehow I thought I remembered those times because of the pain I felt, but I think, looking back now, that I remember them because of the wisdom I gained. These were among the hard lessons I learned in life, often about him putting limits --- and teaching me to put limits --- on what I wanted to do, because limits are necessary in a life which is to be lived well. Looking back over the rest of my life, I wish dad would have taught me more of those hard lessons, put more limits on me, or taught me to put more limits on myself. It took me many, many years to learn some of the hard lessons he did not teach me. And learning them that way, they were harder still.

Like the physics question, often it is not the obvious things which are the most important. When my dad gave me advice, I don’t ever recall him telling me that he loved me. In fact, I don’t recall him telling me that much at all. He didn’t say it, but I knew it because he showed it in all his actions. That’s how real love works, it’s a subtle thing. Like the force of the earth’s rotation or even the distant moon impacting the little penny rolling on a table, love is a huge and seemingly distant force, and we often forget about it. But it is a key driving force in all actions we see or do: Do we do them with love? Do we do things giving something of ourselves, “putting ourselves into it,” as it were?

Whether we do act with love or not, it will be noticed. People will react to us based on how they perceive our actions, subtle things often become more important than words --- like weak test answers overridden by perceptions of a weak student.

There are many hard lessons in life. Some hard lessons are taught to us in simple, loving ways, but not all. There are many bad things which happen to us, sometimes seemingly in deliberate, evil ways. And we may think people doing some of those actions are evil themselves, having perceived who they are in many subtle ways, and perceiving that their actions are not done with love. But even those actions, those evil things which may befall us and we cannot forget, even those things have some good to them, some hard lesson to be learned. For WE are like that insignificant penny rolling on the table, and God is in the forces of the universe and all the heavens around us. He told us so: I will be with you, always.

Even in the worst, hardest lessons of our life, there is good, and there is love. For in all things, God is with us. We can ignore Him or forget Him, but still, He is there. Like the forces I forgot about on the test, He is there. He is constant. He always loves us.

That too is a hard lesson for us to learn. For many of us, it may take a lifetime, but like my earthly father, He is patient. Sometimes I think it hurt my earthly father to discipline me, to help me learn. How often did I think he acted in a hateful way, and at the moment not see the bigger forces at work in his action? How often did he --- and if not he, then my heavenly Father --- really act with love?

It is a hard lesson, sometimes, to learn of our Father’s love. But it is the most important lesson to learn.

Trading Prayers

2011-08-28T13:38:00.002-04:00

I was alone in the chapel when the young woman came in, and she sat quietly while I finished saying the rosary. Then she turned to me and spoke: “Can I ask you something?” And so she asked me questions about God and His love, and spoke of recent difficulties in her life. And in God’s presence, I spoke words which I pray were ones He would offer to this searcher, to give her hope.

When we finished speaking I offered her a copy of two of my favorite prayers. For me, they speak from my heart to God, and I feel Him return the conversation. She then took out a copy of her favorite prayer. Reading it, I offered how I could see that it easily could become a favorite of mine also.

She went out of her way, and a couple of nights later came back to the chapel to give me a copy, and thank me for our talk.

Who knows what opportunities present themselves to us when someone says: “Can I ask you something?” And who knows how well our answers will be? Perhaps the better answers are not ones we give, but God gives, as we speak to Him in prayer.

And so here below is one of my new favorites, courtesy of my late-night friend. Reading and praying it, I can feel God listening. I look forward to His response.

(I’m reasonably sure I read this prayer before, although I don’t remember when. Searching the internet, I found no one attributed to its first writing, although it seems to have been around since the early 1900’s.)

No One Needs Thee More Than I

Dearest Jesus, all Thy creatures are more worthy of Thy grace,
Than the vile and wretched sinner who now kneels before Thy Face;
Yet one claim I have upon Thee which Thou never wilt deny:
In the bounds of Thy creation no one needs Thee more than I!

Other souls have been more faithful and have served Thee better far,
Many spotless hearts more fitting for Thy gracious presence are;
Many lips devout a greeting far more fervent can supply,
But, dear Master, well Thou knowest no one needs Thee more than I!

Many loving hands have carried richer offerings to Thy Shrine,
Many generous hearts have loved Thee with a purer love than mine;
These Thy chosen ones approach Thee as the doves to covert fly,
I am utterly unworthy, but none needs Thee more than I.

Sins unnumbered, unatoned for, have made havoc in my soul,
And against me stands as witness the recording angel's roll;
All untilled has been my vineyard and its soil is hard and dry.
O my God! my only Refuge, no one needs Thee more than I!

For without Thee I am helpless, fast in sin's strong fetters caught,
Blinded by my evil passions, swayed by impulses untaught;
I can do no good unaided, it were worse than vain to try;
Come Thyself to me, sweet Jesus, no one needs Thee more than I!

Thou didst leave Thy Father's bosom to reclaim and save the lost,
Thou didst take upon Thee freely our redemption's awful cost;
Thou Thyself has called me to Thee, Thou wilt hearken to my cry;
In the bounds of Thy Creation no one needs Thee more than I!

Drugs: It's My Body

2011-08-27T09:59:00.003-04:00

Monterrey Mexico: 52 killed by terrorist bomb at casino.

“Mr Calderon (President of Mexico) made an impassioned plea to the U.S. to cut down its drug consumption.”

Remember how the headlines used to always tell us about the Columbian drug cartels? There were movies made about them, about how evil they were and how they controlled the entire country. Did you notice that you don’t see those headlines anymore? In truth, it was somewhat of a surprise to me when I saw recommendations recently that investors should consider investing in Columbian stocks, because their market and country was headed in a very good direction. With the heavy U.S. assistance and, obviously, the will of the Columbian people, the drug cartels there were reined in, and the Columbian economy took off. Inflation is low and the country safe and growing economically --- and not due to the drug trade. The Columbian people have demonstrated that things can get better, if the people are willing to make it so.

The above headlines and story are from today’s paper --- in one of the back pages. Not much of a news story, apparently. Ho-hum, another bunch of people in Mexico killed by warring drug gangs. In a way it was news, though, in that this story wouldn’t be reported in most Mexican newspapers --- stories of drug killings are routinely not reported, because then the reporters get killed. Killings of policemen are only known about in MOST Mexican cities because of Twitter or emails. Outside of Mexico City, most major cities in Mexico are heavily controlled by drug gangs. And the people are in fear. And the people are dying. And the president of Mexico pleads with U.S. citizens.

And the U.S. citizens reply: “It’s my body, and I’ll do with it what I want. I’m hurting no one else.”

I wish those U.S. citizens, with their rights so protected, could be forced to attend the funerals in Mexico, and apologize to the families, apologize for being so selfish, so greedy, so full of pride about their self-worth that they think everyone else is worth less. But no one is worthless.

As Catholics, more than anyone else, we should know better. We believe we are part of the Body of Christ; He told us so. Mexico is a heavily Catholic country. “It’s my body????” That’s part of your body down there also. And by your actions, you are killing it. I reflect sometimes on abortion; it is a horrible thing. I pray nightly for an end to it, but at the same time I recognize the underlying reason that it is a horror: all life is precious. And so I also reflect on the value of every life, and our --- MY --- obligation to protect it, and care for it, and love it. Every life. It is why I care for my mom in her old age, why I volunteer at the United Way and other charities, and why I donate to support other charities who help those in need. But today I was reminded of another way in which I, we, can also help place an importance on life. And that is to recognize that our body, our life, is not ours alone. While everything we do influences other people in some way, whether we recognize it or not, some things we do more directly affect others. The President of Mexico PLEADING with U.S. citizens brings that home most effectively. The casual usage of illegal drugs in the U.S., the “it’s my body and I’ll get pleasure any way I want” attitude, is killing others. By our actions, we are killing others.

It’d be easy to say: “Hey, the program in Columbia worked, let’s just come up with a government program to help Mexico.” Let the government fix everything; it’s not my job. But it is. Protecting life, ALL life, IS your job. It’s your commandment: Love your neighbor.

The headlines and story hit home with me this morning that we can and should take actions, each of us, to help protect the Body of Christ, our brothers and sisters in Mexico who are dying because of us. Certainly in our churches, most certainly in our homes, we should be talking about what our addiction to drugs is doing. What this does to our own bodies is a bad thing, but certainly in America we can point to many bad things we do to our bodies. But there aren’t that many things we are doing which are getting people killed. There are “green” groups protesting and advertising the evils done by oil companies against the environment. There are “health” groups protesting about fats in our diets or additives in our foods. Where are the groups protesting about what WE are doing, killing our neighbors more directly and more certainly than any oil drilling or added calories?

Our brothers and sisters in Mexico are pleading with us. They are part of our Body of Christ.

Our bodies are not ours alone.

God is Pro-Choice

2011-08-25T11:07:00.002-04:00

(This is a continuation of the thoughts I expressed in A Mother’s Greatest Honor and Why Was I Born, back in May and July of this year.)

God created man and offered him, by His death, eternal life. Each life is a new song, sung to praise God.

“Sing to the Lord a new song; His praise is in the assembly of His saints.” We are urged to sing a new song to the Lord, as new men who have learned a new song. A Song is a thing of joy; more profoundly, it is a thing of Love. --- St. Augustine

Each life is a new song because each life is unique. Meant to fit into a particular spot in the puzzle of creation, meant to be a particular portion of the total portrait of life, meant to be a particular receptacle of God’s love, each life is like no other. And each life is not alone, but it fits into the lives it comes into contact with, blending its colors with theirs. All life, fitting together, is a beautiful symphony of music to the Lord.

But the perfection that all life “could” be is not always as it is. We have free will, that we might choose to love God, and be as he created us to be --- or not. And some don’t choose to be as perfect as they could be, if they would choose wisely. They sin, and choose not what God wants for them, but what they want for themselves (Adam helped make them more aware of this option, to choose as they please, and they haven’t learned from his mistake.)

God is “pro-choice.” He gave man the option of eternal life with Him, but allowed man to choose otherwise. But even if man should sin, should choose to turn away from God, like the Prodigal Son, God still loves him and provides a way for him to “choose” to come home. Through Confession, bad choices can be forgiven, and all can be made well again between God and man. The portrait of life was meant to be a thing of total beauty and joy, but like any good artist, God can allow for areas of darkness, of chaos which by itself doesn’t seem to belong in the picture, but He can make even these pieces fit, and blend in the all the colors, even the shadows and darkness. These points of life, our sins, can become points of contrast, to highlight how bright and beautiful the other areas of the portrait are. He makes all things good.

The real sadness of our sins, however, isn’t just their impact on us. We can correct that impact through Confession. But our sins do not just impact us; they impact others: “No man is an island unto himself.” To the degree we choose not to be who we were created to be, then others around us also are not as they were created to be. One poor out-of-tune instrument destroys the harmony of the whole orchestra. At mass we ask “the Blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you my brothers and sisters, to pray to the Lord our God” for we have sinned, and all these created beings are impacted by our sin. God allows us to choose, but we must never believe that when we choose to sin “we are impacting no one else.”

We never sin alone. We pull all mankind down with us, and the beauty of God’s creation is a little less perfect, the painting has a little more darkness. When we sin, we and other humans, who were created out of God’s love, specifically designed to receive His love --- the purpose of all creation --- we are choosing not to receive that love. As a spouse choosing adultery, we are choosing to reject the one who pledged to love us forever, and hurting Him immeasurably.

God chose to create us so he could love us; by sin we are telling Him we don’t want His love. We are saying our choices are more important than His. We are saying, in effect, we are more important than God.

What a horrible thing this can be, our choice not to accept God’s love, but even this blot we create on the picture of creation can be covered over and repaired, and somehow made to fit in. That possibility too, was part of His love. Our choice of sin destroys the perfection of His creation portrait, but our choice to repent too creates a thing of beauty, albeit perhaps not as perfect as He wished it to be. But the final portrait of creation, of all creation at the end of all time, is ours together --- us and God. And we are meant to sit back in all eternity and admire it, even with its flaws.

There is almost nothing we can do to ruin the beauty of God’s creation, and our partnership in it. We work together to create new life, as He did, bringing us and our families into the beauty of life, the creation that was made for Him to love.

This beauty of earthly creation, it is good, is the beginning of the union of God and man. Man, made in God’s image, is meant to be united with God, forever. His earthly life is meant to be a stepping stone into eternal life, a time when he is created, grows in holiness, and then is deemed fit to be with God in heaven. And God, in His love, helps make all that possible, even for the least of men.

Only man can choose to prevent his own union with God. And unfortunately, horribly, some men can also choose to keep others from God. If there is ANYTHING on this earth that can give the devil pleasure, it is that men can choose to reject God, AND can also choose to prevent others from choosing God. Scripture says that even Jesus did not know who would be seated at the right hand of the Father in heaven, but if anyone could be identified to be seated at the right hand of the devil in hell, surely it would be these men. They can turn the beauty of choice into the ultimate evil.

Meeting The World's "Needs"

2011-08-23T12:35:00.002-04:00

Throughout all of history, man has sought to improve his lot. And yet when man looked on all he had done, all the wars, all the greed, and all the poor, he saw that all the works of man thus far have yielded little --- or certainly not enough, in the minds of many. The philosophers of the Enlightenment and their followers thought they were wise in seeing this obvious fact, and proposed that man, now so much wiser and organized through science, can at last make progress in improving the lot of man.

This made sense to many people, (especially after the misery of WWI) and was a compelling temptation to follow the Enlightenment promises: All will be made equal, no one will suffer again, all will have all they need -- and will not have to seek it through war or through greed. It will now all come to them, be given to them, by a just government of the people. It will be a just world. And how would all this “justice” come about? Well, the best and brightest of humans, the real “Enlightened” ones, would lead them into this wonderful world of equality in everything. And just who WERE those best and brightest people? Well, they had to humbly admit, they were among them.

How silly were these “brightest” of men. They thought that they could organize and provide for all the wants of men, and men would be satisfied. In the end, those who came to political power by proclaiming they would meet all men’s desires, only sought to meet their own. But man’s yearnings will never be satisfied with things of this earth, and even those political leaders were greedy for more, and then there came WWII. But the truth of the matter is: Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.

We often pray the Divine Mercy prayer: “Jesus, I trust in You.” Trust in God, yes, but why do we still choose to trust in self-proclaimed “wise men?” Men have been proclaiming their “wisdom” (and even claiming themselves to be gods) throughout all history. And still there are wars, and still there is greed, and still there are poor people. Have we not yet learned?

As science and technology have progressed yet further from the Enlightenment times, the only thing that has changed has been the politicians’ promises on what “needs” of men they can now meet. Not satisfied with just trying to guarantee equal food for everyone, they promise virtually equal everything, from light bulbs to toilets, and even equal temperatures on earth. If we just trust them.

And why, after we saw how well that “equal housing” thing they delivered worked out, have we not yet learned Who, and only Who, can really satisfy our needs --- and Who we can trust? Why do we still seek out and follow self-proclaimed “wise men?” --- who promise us anything and everything. Science may be progressing, but man’s wisdom seems to be regressing.

This past weekend the Wall Street Journal had yet another good guest editorial, done by Lord Jonathan Sacks, chief rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth. You should try to read it in its entirety, if you can. He was speaking about the child rioters in England these past weeks. No summary of his words would do justice, so I reprint some of them here:

“The truth is, it is not their fault. They are the victims of the tsunami of wishful thinking that washed across the West saying that you can have sex without the responsibility of marriage, children without the responsibility of parenthood, social order without the responsibility of citizenship, liberty without the responsibility of morality and self-esteem without the responsibility of work and earned achievement.”

“… Has this happened before, and is there a way back? The answer to both questions is in the affirmative. … In the 1820s it was unsafe to walk the streets of London because of pickpockets by day and ‘unruly ruffians’ by night. What happened over the next 30 years was a massive shift in public opinion. There was an unprecedented growth in charities, friendly societies, working men’s institutes, temperance groups, church and synagogue associations, Sunday schools, YMCA building and moral campaigns of every shape and size, fighting slavery or child labor or inhuman working conditions. The common factor was their focus on the building of moral character, self-discipline, willpower and personal responsibility. It worked. Within a single generation, crime rates came down and social order was restored. What was achieved was nothing less than the re-moralization of society --- much of it driven by religion.”

“Much can and must be done by governments, but they cannot of themselves changes lives. Governments cannot make marriages or turn feckless individuals into responsible citizens.”

“One of our great British exports to America, Harvard historian Niall Ferguson, has a fascinating passage in his recent book ‘Civilization,’ in which he asks whether the West can maintain its primacy on the world stage or if it is a civilization in decline. He quotes a member of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, tasked with finding out what gave the West its dominance. He said: At first we thought it was your guns. Then we thought it was your political system, democracy. Then we said it was your economic system, capitalism. But for the last 20 years, we have known that it was your religion.”

“The Chinese have learned the lesson. Fifty years after Chairman Mao declared China a religion-free zone, there are now more Chinese Christians than there are members of the Communist Party. China has learned the lesson. The question is: Will we?”

I pray for our brothers and sisters, and children, in Britain, as I pray for our own here in America. But as Lord Sacks points out, even more is needed than prayers. Prayers and religion, is the critical start. But solutions came about when people acted. We need to put our prayers into loving action, with our neighbors, our marriages, and our children. Then we can meet the world’s needs, its REAL needs. As Peggy Noonan pointed out, the need is love.

Advice to New Caregivers

2011-08-20T12:11:00.000-04:00

(The coordinator of our local caregiver’s support group noticed how well the group counseled new caregivers, people coming to the group for the first and just assuming responsibilities for the care of a loved one. She asked each of us to write out advice that we might give to new caregivers, so that she might summarize them into a handout for other caregiver’s groups. This is my submission to her.)

A simple definition of a new caregiver is this: Someone who has considered or even planned for an event his whole life, yet when it happens, looks like a deer frozen in the headlights. “Who me?” they seem to always say, as they panic at the reality of the situation, hoping against hope that someone else will step forward to assume a responsibility they know is theirs. This is some friendly advice to allay your fears, you new caregivers, and to get you moving forward again, deliberately and confidently.

There are two things any new caregiver needs to come to grips with, and as quickly as possible. The first is the hardest: yes, it is you who will have to do something. Whether it is the new baby or the newly-adopted child who is more-than-you-expected, your incapacitated spouse whether by accident or disease or old age, or your parent --- you have become acutely aware that this person needs special care, special love, and no one else is going to step forward. Yes, it is you who will have to do something.

You can continue to argue with your siblings: “You said you’d help care for mom.” You can continue to argue with the doctors: “Isn’t there something else you can do to ease their situation?” You can even continue to argue with them: “Mom, you really have to see a doctor about your memory loss,” or “Dad, you really shouldn’t be driving anymore.” You can defer taking responsibility for a long time, but at some point you will have to come to grips with the reality of the situation. YOU need to do something. So think about it, plan about it, seek advice about it, and then move on. That’s the first reality adjustment you have to make, but fortunately the second is much easier: You are not alone.

You are not the first person to have a baby, a troubled child, an injured spouse, or elderly parents. There are many others who have gone through this and ARE going through this. They can offer you advice and comfort. And you will find it a great comfort to know that these strangers care about you and what you are going through. They really DO understand.

So let’s get started. Now that you know you have to do something and you’re not alone in this, where do you begin?

1) Consult The Experts. This means doctors and/or medical advice in books or online. It means lawyers to make sure you are properly set on things like Wills and Powers of Attorney. Get more aware of what you are facing. What is the situation now, and what is it likely to be in the future. Much of our fear is of the unknown. Know what your loved one is facing, and expect it. Discover what experts say is likely to happen --- the progression of Alzheimer’s, or cancer, or the impacts on the body of a lack of mobility. At which stage is your loved one now. Know what will happen, and don’t panic when it does. Be prepared, physically and emotionally. Most long-term caregiving situations will involve a change in the status of the loved one being cared for. If it is an elderly person, the realities of death must be faced at some point. Get yourself prepared.

2) Get Emotional Support. Respite care, time away from caregiving duties, is a must. Siblings, relatives, neighbors, churches, or respite care agencies are available to you. Seek them out. Planning for yourself to be the caregiver 24 hours a day is not planning. You will fail, not only yourself, but your loved one. Day care programs or senior programs are available in most communities. Check with your local United Way. Find a caregiver’s support group, and attend their meetings. You are not alone.

3) Find God. You are not alone --- ever. But there will come days, there WILL come days, when you will feel terribly alone, and perhaps afraid. When my mom had her first TIF (a kind of mini-stroke) and didn’t recognize reality for hours, and didn’t even remember how to drink a glass of water, nor recognize me --- that first time I was in a panic. Call EMS or a doctor at 4AM? But in my panic and rapidly rising blood pressure, I called out to God. And as I lay back in the chair with my arm across my forehead, trying to calm down, despite her own confusion and panic mom saw me and said: “Aww, you’ve got a headache? I’ll be quiet.” And she was. And gradually I calmed down, and over some hours, so did she.

You are wasting your time reading this advice, if you are too proud to seek the advice of the ultimate caregiver. Coming to grips with the reality of God, that He is with you in the situation, greatly eases your problems. He is someone you can always talk to, an ever-present friend. But for some of us, before we can accept the help of God, we need the next step.

4) Find Humility. This is a non-negotiable. Find humility, or it will find you. Some of us are people of many talents. We are business leaders, educators, or scientists. We are smart. We have never faced a problem we couldn’t figure out a solution to. We will find the best solution to our loved one’s needs, and implement it. And then all will be well.

It won’t.

I’m sure there are some who have had success with this attitude, but I wonder if their loved ones FEEL loved with the results, being treated with some scientific formula for success. Every person is unique, as is the progression of any illness they have. It is THEIR illness, not AN illness. Doctors know this, which is why most fear government programs that might dictate some standardized care. There is no average person; each is unique. And if you really love your loved one, you will treat them as the special person they are. This means to care for them, your life will change, and you must accept this fact. Even if the most caring thing you can do is to place them in an assisted living arrangement, still, you need to be there for them more often than you were in the past. You need to take care of their finances. You need to make their medical decisions. They have become a greater portion of your life because they need help, because you need to give them help, because you love each other. You need the humility to change, to accept the fact that you can’t predict how their illness will progress – and so you’ll have to change even more in the future. Which leads to a final piece of advice: Not only you, but they need to get humble also, and you will need to help them in this transition.

5) Be Who You Were Made to Be. The Catholic Church teaches that we are called to grow in holiness, our whole life. Our relationship with God is not a stable thing; it should be getting ever better, culminating in the perfection of heaven. Human relationships are constantly changing also, but most noticeable in the relationship between the caregiver and the one cared for. In human families, in life-long commitments, there often comes a time when the caregiver and care-receiver must reverse roles, and that is a very hard time, for both.

A baby, needing everything given to it, crying in the night needing constant attention, eventually grows up. And its needs change, and so does the responsibility of its caregivers, its parents. Eventually, the babies grow into adults and there is some parity between caregiver and cared-for. It is the way of life; they become who they were meant to be. But with old age comes a reversal of the roles, parents begin to need the attention and care. Fortunately for us, this is a gradual thing, and we can see the signs of change, and gradually step up to some caregiving role for our parents --- or not.

Just as letting the teenager go onto adult things and responsibilities is a very gradual, subtle thing --- “Can they handle it?” so our taking over responsibilities for our parents is a gradual and subtle thing: “Can they handle it?” Just as teens often think they can, and their parents disagree and say no, so it often happens that elderly parents think they can still handle things, and now their children must say: “No.”

I’m not sure who this gradual role-reversal is most hard on, the parent who must cede some of his freedoms or the child who must assume them. But the key word is “must,” we must be who we were made to be, at all stages of our life. Even as the teenager wants to reason with the parent: “If I can die in the army, certainly I can drink,” so the elderly parent wants to reason with the child: “I only got lost shopping once,” or “Yes I forgot dinner was on the stove, but the house didn’t burn down, did it?” At these change points in the relationship, the stronger, more responsible one must take loving leadership of the situation, and not yet strong or weakening one must accede to their loving care. It is a most difficult time, but it must be faced and accepted.

At one point in my relationship with my mom she expressed frustration with my doing the things she couldn’t. Sometimes she grew angry at me. One day, I was confessing my feelings about caregiving to a priest; I felt that I was not loving enough. He wisely counseled me: “No, you are loving very well. What you are not accepting is that life has run its full course: now you are the parent, and she is as the baby. You do things, many stressful and difficult things, out of love for her. But as a baby, she just doesn’t understand. Don’t try talking or reasoning with her anymore, to explain your actions. Just try hugging her more. All babies understand hugs.”

6) Try Hugging More. Even yourself. Caregiving is not easy. You may sometimes think you are alone, but try hugging a little more: your loved one, your family, and your God. It helps.

Good luck, and God bless you for caring. And do not be anxious.

In The Full Moon

2011-08-14T13:10:00.000-04:00

The substitute caregiver came early, and I was still napping on the couch, the alarm on my cell phone still minutes from going off. I heard her open the kitchen door and I sat up, groggy, and turned on the light. “I’m a little early,” she said. “So you’ve got time to stop for coffee on your way to church. It’s a beautiful night out, now that the storms have passed.”

My drive to church was quiet, there were few cars on the road. But it was not until I reached a four-way stop sign that I became aware of the full moon. Looking for traffic to the south, I saw nothing in the darkness, but then I perceived the light. The fields were softly lit up; I could see the open grasses and each individual tree in the distance. And I could see the six deer, slowly, quietly moving about. And on the horizon I could see the lightening, flashing brightly, outlining the distant storm clouds. I sat there watching the surreal, live-action painting for a couple of minutes. It was so peaceful. I remembered that one of the nuns in grade school had told me that Mary could be seen in the moon, as a reflection of the brightness of her Son (sun). Looking up I saw the man in the moon. He didn’t look at all like I pictured Mary, and I smiled at my silly thoughts.

Arriving at the chapel, I begin writing my thoughts. On the altar in front of me is the large host, surrounded by the gold rays of the monstrance. Round like the moon, this IS the Son. He doesn’t shine like the earth’s sun; if He did, I wouldn’t be able to look at Him. But, oh, He gives off a warmth to me. I know my God is here, and He radiates the warmth of love.

At breakfast on Saturday morning, I had had a conversation with a friend. We discussed the Peggy Noonan article from the Wall Street Journal: children who are missing love. I commented somewhat confidently about how so many parents give their children things, even well into adulthood. Our society went from people living on farms where the children grew up with responsibilities, eventually inherited the farm and, of course, cared for their aging parents --- no social security/government welfare. Then the depression of the ‘30s came, and people learned to save for bad times – and to get by without frivolous things. My mom has money to take care of her, as long as necessary. Then my generation came along.

We heard of the depression. We struggled, for our parents didn’t unduly give us things. We learned to earn them. But somehow we thought that this was bad, and resolved that our children would not have to struggle as we did. So we gave them things, many things, even if we had to do with less. And they got used to it, and expected it. And even now in our older years many of us we want to scrimp and save, not so much to ensure we can be cared for in our old age --- we expect the government to do that, but so we can continue to give things to our kids, who aren’t really kids any longer.

I commented to my friend that this constant giving we seem to equate with love, but it isn’t really. And Peggy’s comment about the English children rioters being missing love, despite the welfare state (or parents) giving them everything, says this form of love is to the detriment of the children, and our culture. And it is our fault; we forget, or perhaps never learned, what love truly is. It is not about giving “things”, even to our kids. It’s about giving love, real love.

My friend was quiet and thoughtful during my long self-confident rant, and then offered only one comment: “You never had kids.”

He had me there. I remembered my thoughts on how you can never know something with wisdom unless you have experienced it, and I have not experienced having kids. All my Godchildren don’t count. Perhaps I really don’t understand these things I think on, and worry about.

But then, what about Peggy’s final question: What next? Perhaps I don’t understand how things got to be the way they are, but like her I can see these rioting younger people and know that “giving” them things is not the answer. They are not starving nor living in the streets, but like Oliver they “want more.” Only unlike him, they are not saying “please.”

Perhaps all I see is like the soft shadows I saw in the field this evening, reflections in the full moon. I think I see everything, but there might be other things in the shadows. I felt a peace in the moonlight, but in the shadows of the world today, I see and feel a growing fear.

Oh how I wish the sun would shine on us and we could see things clearly, and know what to do. How do we really love our children or our neighbor, in imitation of God’s love, for we are made in His image. If we could love as He does, that must be for the best. But how?

And then I looked again at the host on the altar. He gives me no things, but He is always there, whenever I call, whenever I am scared, and He gives me His very self, totally. Why would I ever riot for more? In Him, I have everything. That is the love I am given to imitate. Can our children learn to be content with that? Can they learn that it REALLY IS everything?

Thank You, Jesus, for so loving me.

Riots, Anger, and ?

2011-08-13T10:25:00.002-04:00

“Where does that leave us? In a hard place, knowing in our guts that a lot of troubled kids are coming up, and not knowing what to do about it. The problem, at bottom, is love, something we never talk about in public policy discussions because it's too soft and can't be quantified or legislated. But little children without love and guidance are afraid. They're terrified—they have nothing solid in the world, which is a pretty scary place. So they never feel safe. As they grow, their fear becomes rage. Further on, the rage can be expressed in violence.

What's needed can't be provided by government. When the riot begins or the flash mob arrives, the best the government can do is control the streets, enforce the law, maintain the peace.

After that, what? Britain is about to face that question. We'll likely have to face it, too.”
--- Peggy Noonan in the WSJ, August 13, 2011

I think Peggy wrote one of her best columns ever today, having not so much her usual opinion about things as they are in the world, but a reflection. How did we get here? And where exactly are we at? There are no simple answers to those questions, nor to her final one: What’s next? But we do need to think on it; we’ll have no choice. Perhaps people like Eleanor Josaitis, who I wrote about yesterday, are part of the answer: we need more people like that. We need to BECOME more people like that.

Yesterday morning I read again a hymn which I have probably read a hundred times before, but in light of the events of these days, I saw it in a different light. I found a new wisdom there, and perhaps insights on what we should be doing these days --- what our God might be asking us to do in these times.

HYMN
Lord, whose love in humble service
Bore the weight of human need,
Who did on the cross, forsaken,
Show us mercy’s perfect deed: (Perfection --- love of others)
We, your servants, bring the worship
Not of voice alone, but heart? (Sincere, deep)
Consecrating to your purpose
Every gift which you impart. (All we have is Yours)

As we worship, grant us vision,
Till your love’s revealing light,
Till the height and depth and greatness
Dawns upon our human sight;
Making known the needs and burdens
Your compassion bids us bear. (Accept humility; it will be thrust upon you)
Stirring us to faithful service,
Your abundant life to share.

Called from worship into service
Forth in your great name we go,
To the child, the youth, the aged,
Love in living deeds to show,
Hope and health, goodwill and comfort,
Counsel, aid, and peace we give,
That your children, Lord, in freedom,
May Your mercy know, and live. (WE do HIS work)

--- by Albert Bayly

An Unsung Hero

2011-08-12T16:49:00.001-04:00

Unlike with many people I know who died, I did not pray for Eleanor’s soul this morning, but I did pray that God would gift us with oh so many more like it. I don’t think she needed my prayers, for I suspect the choirs of angels were singly loudly welcoming her arrival, home at last. She was an unsung hero here on earth, but not there, I’m sure. Not there.

A local newspaper has been awarding the Eleanor Josaitis Unsung Hero Award annually for the last five years. She died on Monday. I wonder how many other people are so honored during their lives. She has been called Detroit’s Mother Teresa. While quietly working for the poor, Eleanor sought no awards but was no stranger to them, both local and national, including 13 honorary degrees. All because she loved people, all people, and acted on that love.

Eleanor was a woman with 5 young children when she viewed the aftermath of the Detroit race riots in 1967. With Fr. William Cunningham, she said something must be done, and then went out and did it. She moved her husband and family of five young children into Detroit, and with Fr. Cunningham started Focus Hope in 1968. Her family was confused and totally against her commitment, and her mother hired an attorney to take away her children. But Eleanor persevered.

Focus Hope provides food distribution, child care, and job training, including a Center for Advanced Technologies, a Machinist Training Institute, and an Information Technologies Center. I don’t know if they pioneered the phrase “A hand up, not a hand out,” but they could have. I recall when my Paint The Town project selected their neighborhood to paint and repair the homes of elderly there. I visited Focus Hope to ask if our volunteers could do anything for them. They insisted I take a tour.

The tour was an eye-opener. I had no idea so much modern equipment and modern training was going on there, in what many considered ‘an area of town you don’t want to go into’. The technology center had modern robotics, donated by the auto companies. People trained there learned to operate the machines, but also how they worked and how to repair them. Graduates were hired by the auto companies. I remember the former drill sergeant who taught computer skills. As he described his work, a group of students began filing in the room. Suddenly he said: “Excuse me,” and walked over and stood in the path of a young man. He slapped the cap off of his head, and as the stunned man bent to pick it up he said loudly: “Leave it!” Then in a loud voice he said: “People, you are here to learn computer skills for the office place. If you want to BE in an office you must look like you BELONG in an office. Caps, dirty clothes, and sloppy dress do not belong in an office place.”

As I recall, Focus Hope didn’t need much help from our Paint The Town project that year; their people did a good job of keeping their facilities clean and neat.

When social security was founded many people in this country were against it, including the churches. Church leaders said: “Our family and neighbor and church and community are there to help and care for the elderly in need.” “It is our duty,” they said. Eleanor still believed that.

That belief, that first and foremost we must help one another, is so missed in this country. It is not only monetarily that we have been down-graded.

Eleanor rallied others to help the poor, but first and foremost, SHE helped them. She didn’t look for others to love her neighbors; she did. Like saints of the past, she didn’t ask people to follow her, they saw her and her work, and followed. Like Christians of old, she stood out. See how much they love one another.

Eleanor was buried today. I am sure there were very many singing her praises at her funeral. I suspect that in heaven she won’t be listening in; she’ll be looking for something to do.

Like Lost Sheep

2011-08-11T10:19:00.004-04:00

My notebook pages are full of thoughts, things I see which occupy my mind. I make sense of them in some way, relieving my anxieties, and some I copy here, so that I won’t forget --- on the day when the worries come back again.

This morning as I knelt and prayed my opening prayer, praising God for all He is and all He has done --- even for me, and asking His blessings to make good out of all that seems so bad, I realized how I was going on, and on, and on.

Lord, please watch over us this day. Bless my tasks this day: the words I must write( please give me wisdom), the shopping I must do, the meetings I must attend, the consolations I must give. Bless those I meet, especially those seeking some measure of help from me --- let them see Your help, and bless even those I don’t meet, but You put in my path. If they should see me, let them only have thoughts of You. Bless our government, may the people in it be enlightened to make wise decisions, or in their lack of wisdom let them stupidly and “by chance”, make right decisions. Indeed, bless our world, Lord. So many seem so lost, so afraid, or perhaps even worse, so not afraid, when they should be. So many are going forth, loudly and righteously, seemingly confident that they and only they know the way, and all must follow.

But they are lost …

Lord, even as I pray I realized suddenly all that I am asking. Who but You could even consider all that I am asking? And who am I to ask? There are many millions in this world praying this day, even at this moment. Lord, who but You could hear us? Who but You could answer? I pray You make right out of all these things, even the wrong. I have faith in Your promises.

My Jesus, I trust in You. I trust in You. I trust in You.

Lord, when I think on all these prayers I can only realize one thing: we are like lost sheep, even as You described us. We bleat aloud in our fears, crying to one another, but no one knows the way. Some speak up boldly, like three-year old to his crying mom: “Don’t worry, mom. I’ll take care of you.” Wonderful bravado and intention, but they are just children in their understanding.

Truly, the most lost are those who do not know they are lost, until suddenly the end of a cliff is in their path, and there is nowhere else to go. Willingly or not, they must admit their confusion, for all around can see it: they don’t know the way. (Lk 6:39) More and more are finally seeing this, Lord. However, some are so stubborn they would rather leap to the depths below rather than admit they don’t see a path in front of them. Lord, have mercy on them, and us all. We all are as lost sheep. Oh Good Shepherd, find us and give us comfort!

I’m just beginning this day, Lord. Make me an instrument of Your peace to those around me. If You would, use me to calm their increasing anxiety, to speak or show Your words: Do Not Be Anxious.

We trust in You.

This morning I then read and meditated on these words of Saint Gregory of Nyssa, bishop:
“We may call ourselves true Christians only if our lives express Christ by our own peace. As the Apostle says: He has put enmity to death. We must never allow it to be rekindled in us. Gloriously has God slain enmity, in order to save us; may we never risk the life of our souls by being resentful or by bearing grudges. We must put an end to this enmity and live as we believe he lived. He broke down the separating wall, uniting what was divided, bringing about peace by reconciling in his single person those who disagreed. In the same way, we must be reconciled not only with those who attack us from outside, but also with those who stir up dissension within. Once we subject the wisdom of the flesh to God’s law, we shall be re-created as one single man at peace. For the quality of holiness is shown not by what we say but by what we do in life.”

This morning I again seriously prayed the words of the Pray to the Apostle Paul (as shown on the sidebar of this blog).

And finally, during mass this morning, I prayed the prayers of the mass most sincerely:
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, Have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, Have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, You take away the sins of the world, Grant us peace.

Those things happened this morning, and now I am home, documenting my thoughts and prayers. But I remember now other thoughts and prayers, ones which also I must not forget. I have previously written some of them here and here and here If you read these words and feel down, read these others also, for there is always hope.

May you find God’s peace and joy this day, my friends, a day on which we may feel like lost sheep. But remember also the truth of what the Apostle proclaimed: Once I was lost, but now I am found. Do Not Be Anxious.

The Market is Down, and So Am I

2011-08-08T15:43:00.006-04:00

This is just a rambling of thoughts and notes this afternoon when fear and anxiety are impacting so many in America. Sometimes it’s hard not to be anxious, so perhaps this will just be a distraction for you.

The book Go In Peace is a summary (by topic) of various JPII speeches, books, and encyclicals. In the chapter on Forgiveness and Reconciliation, there is this quote:
“Sin’s essential nature is that it is an offense against God. It is an offense against the divine majesty. We must also say that it is an act that offends the divine charity in that it is an infraction of the law of friendship and the covenant God has established for His people. Therefore, it is an act of infidelity, and in practice, a rejection of His love.”

Only a person who has experience infidelity can know the impact of that statement. It’s your beloved telling you “I don’t love you anymore.” It’s a “I want to jump off a bridge and kill myself” feeling that cannot be explained, but only experienced. I know; I experienced it. And that is how JPII describes how God feels when we sin. This is a very hard-hitting sentence, for those who really understand it. (I found much of the rest of the book to be old news for me, but perhaps it wouldn’t be for you.)

Continuing in the commentary mode, there was an excellent article in the August/September issue of Catholic World Report. Titled “Only Part of the Story,” written by Russell Shaw, the article explores Catholic teachings on social justice. In the article he quotes Ronald Krietemeyer, a justice and peace executive at the US Catholic Conference in the ‘70s and ‘80s: “Social justice is not about private individual acts. It is about collective actions aimed at transforming social institutions … to achieve the common good.” This thinking is the type which culminated in the latter to Speaker of the House John Boehner from 80 Catholic college professors, including 30 from CUA, who complained that economic policies urged by Boehner and Paul Ryan would hurt the poor and were in social conflict with the Church.

As Mr. Shaw happily notes, Archbishop Timothy Dolan of New York promptly responded to that proclamation by thanking Mr Ryan for his “continued attention to the guidance of Catholic social justice in the current budget considerations in Congress.” It seems very confusing until he delves into the history and underpinnings of the Church’s teachings on social justice. It all derives from the 1937 encyclical Divini Redemptoris, as Mr. Shaw and others he quotes summarize. In it is stated: “It is the very essence of social justice to demand from EACH INDIVIDUAL (emphasis added) all that is necessary for the common good.” Contrary to the college professors’ and Kreitemeyer’s statements, social justice starts with the individual, not collective actions. “People like Ryan and Boehner might be right or they might be wrong, but calling them bad Catholics doesn’t work.”

It is a very thought-provoking article which every Catholic concerned with “social justice” in America should read. Contrary to what many believe, you CAN be Catholic and recommend cutting some governmental social programs; the Church does not teach that the solution to the problems of the poor is more government spending --- nor taking from the rich.

There’s one more article worth remembering here, and it was written in last Saturday’s Wall Street Journal by Scott Adams, the creator of the Dilbert cartoons. Mr. Adams wrote about a change in our culture which many consider to be a good thing: the tremendous number of high-tech toys now available to occupy our minds and answer our any question: immediately. Never does a person have to be bored again. Whether in a meeting or in a movie, if boredom starts you can always open your ipad and begin reading or watching something more interesting. Some parents seem to love this for their children; no more: “Mom, I’m bored” moments. But, Mr. Adams notes, this may not be a good thing. He documents that many/most innovative ideas have come about in times of quiet, when the mind is perhaps bored with events of the moment and then suddenly: a new idea pops into being. Boredom, he notes, may be a great stimulus for creativity, and might the country, and even the culture, be experiencing a great loss by creating this “no boredom” universe?

The article definitely left me thinking about things – and I wasn’t bored as I read it.

And I guess a final (and related) thought is from my notes from the Steubenville conference. There many speakers spoke about changes needed in our declining moral culture. They noted that in a culture, all big things come about from little things. Small trends lead to cultural changes, and the trends start with a change in one person. We see and can recognize this in clothing styles; there are certain clothing designers that are recognized as --- or want to be recognized as --- trend-setters. The mini-skirt designer, the maxi-skirt designer, or the croc shoe designer, we know these people; they started huge trends. We forget that in matters of faith and morals, however, that similar change has started with individuals. Changing the culture’s moral direction isn’t about making changes in Washington; it starts with changes in us.

Oh, I guess I should be clearer: It starts with positive changes in us.

Wednesday’s Dilbert Calendar page has Dogbert pointing to a chart in the boardroom: “I cooked the books by assuming your pension fund will earn 15% per year. Technically you aren’t crooks, just optimists.” Then, he notes, “If you hear a whistling noise, that would be your soul escaping through your nose.” The cartoon then shows the executives with little clouds coming from their noses, captioned with: “Tweet!”

May you go forth and change our culture, in peace, my friends.

Seeing Is Believing

2011-08-06T10:47:00.002-04:00

“It is as if He said to them: ‘As time goes by you may be in danger of losing your faith. To save you from this I tell you now that some standing here listening to me will not taste death until they have seen the Son of Man coming in the glory of his Father.’ Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter, James and John, and led them up a high mountain where they were alone. There, before their eyes, he was transfigured.”

“While living among them he had spoken of the kingdom and his second coming in glory, but to banish from their hearts any possible doubt concerning the kingdom and to confirm their faith in what lay in the future by its pre-figuration in the present, he gave them on Mount Tabor a wonderful vision of his glory, a foreshadowing of the kingdom of heaven.”
-- From a sermon by Anastasius of Sanai, bishop

On today’s feast of the Transfiguration, I read the above words in my morning breviary readings. They seemed to re-iterate something I had heard yesterday, which in turn was a re-iteration of something I had just written a couple of days ago. We are talking about wisdom, and what it is.

I had written that wisdom is a melding together of knowledge, learnings that we gain, into a new form of knowledge which we did not learn. This “making sense of things” is accomplished by the Holy Spirit in spiritual matters, because we cannot truly know spiritual matters any other way. The knowledge of spiritual matters cannot be gained by us alone; we live in a material world, and that is all we can experience with our material senses. Knowledge of the spiritual world comes through Revelation, a knowledge which is given to us --- but it is a knowledge that does make “sense” to our worldly bodies, when we consider all the material things we know. Faith and reason go together. I gave an example of how wisdom gained is sort of like realizing the sum of numbers, a totaling of things that were apart.

Yesterday, I learned a better example.

I attended a First Friday talk by a new young priest, Fr. Mark Rutherford, who was recently ordained from my parish. Fr. Rutherford was speaking about the experience of the Holy Spirit. He explained that the Holy Spirit brings us the experience of God. We can know Jesus Christ, but unless we ARE Him, and experience His relationship with the Father, we cannot really know His love of the Father. These words made great sense to me.

Think about it in terms of our own earthly fathers. Most of us grew up with them; they were part of our lives, and part of the shaping of our lives. We can describe our father to friends or even strangers, and we can recall examples (good and bad) to illustrate our relationship and learnings, but from our descriptions the people we speak to can only gain some knowledge about our fathers. They cannot really KNOW our fathers because they haven’t had ALL the experiences we had, all of those experiences which add up to our relationship with our father. Unless they have lived our lives, walked in our shoes, they cannot know our fathers as we do. That was the point Fr. Rutherford was illustrating. We can read Scripture and gain all sorts of knowledge about Jesus Christ, but we can never really KNOW him unless we were Him or lived with Him His whole life. Nor can we ever know His relationship with His heavenly Father. But, explained Fr. Rutherford, that is the gift of the Holy Spirit, we can experience God; through the Holy Spirit we can be gifted with that sure knowledge of Jesus Christ and God the Father as if we had really lived our lives with them. We can gain that sure knowledge of experience, the “seeing is believing” knowledge which is often used to describe the word: certainty. With the Holy Spirit’s help, His gift, we can gain a certainty of the truths of God and our relationship with Him; we can gain wisdom.

As we live our lives we often call upon God for help. We see our circumstances and recognize our weaknesses and call out for aid. But we often don’t realize the total of the circumstances to be considered. It’s like asking our earthly father for candy, but he knows such things as tooth decay or obesity or even that dinner will be ready in ten minutes, things beyond the limited circumstances we see. That type of relationship with God the Father doesn’t change as we get older in earth-years, we can never learn enough knowledge see the circumstances as He sees them. So sometimes our calls for help seem unanswered, or answered negatively, and we don’t understand. The reason we don’t understand is that we don’t have the experience of God, even as we did have the experience of our earthly father. Our earthly father may have told us something as simple as “too much candy is no good for you,” or even a simple “no,” and we could accept his answer because of our experience with him --- we knew our earthly father loved us and trusted he knew more than we did. That is the experience the Holy Spirit gives us of the Father and of Jesus Christ: He makes sense of what we may know, as if we experienced our relationship with them.

Today, on the feast of the Transfiguration, before the Holy Spirit was gifted to the apostles, God gave them the experience of knowing Him. As Moses did, they saw and spoke to Him. Seeing was believing; living the actual experience cemented in them the sure knowledge of His spiritual presence.

But we are not given such an experience. For some of us, some of the time, we are given gifts of the Holy Spirit, and experience God, and gain a sure knowledge of Him. I thank Him so much for those blessings, those consolations of sure knowledge of His presence. Peter said: Lord, it is good for us to be here. What an understatement! But unlike Peter, often we must be content with just the earthly knowledge we can gain of Him, content with only our faith in His spiritual presence. Faith is a precious thing.

But blessed are they who have not seen, but have yet believed.

A Blog Worth Reading

2011-08-02T09:06:00.001-04:00

No, it’s not this one.

This blog is about truths that have been given to me, which help to ease my anxieties, and with which I pray for inspiration --- that God might give me wisdom. Perhaps, on some very rare occasions, He does. And perhaps on some even rarer occasions, you also gain wisdom through what you read here, but none of that is my doing. For all wisdom comes from God, not me, and I can only help Him in some small way to bring it about.

I follow a few Catholic blogs which I find of value to me, however the blog worth reading that I refer to is one I have found which presents very well the truth of the Catholic Church, and reflects on it as it is shown in Scripture, and as seen in politics and in our culture. It is a relevant site, yet different from most. I have seen in it in the past a heavy dose of facts --- knowledge --- explained from a unique worldview, that of a convert to the faith, one who came to the Catholic Church from very, very far away. And the writer’s long journey is the unique knowledge she brings to the discussion, unlike many other teachers of the faith. In the past her blog has led to many comments, discussions from people around the world, Catholic and not, who want to discuss the truth as she presents it, and she responds to their questions and concerns from a viewpoint that can very truly say: “I understand where you are coming from; I’ve been there.” I’ve watched people follow her blog, and gain knowledge, and gradually find that the Holy Spirit is working with that knowledge, and giving them wisdom.

Aimee Cooper has been absent from the blogosphere for about a year for a variety of personal reasons, but now she is back again. Her new blog, A Catholic Worldview can be seen at www.aimeemcooper.com and is well worth your occasional glance. I believe there is knowledge to be gained there for most people, especially those weak in understanding the Catholic Faith, which includes most of us.

It has taken me many years to begin to grow in wisdom. I have read so many, many books in my life, and gained so much knowledge about so many things. Spouting that knowledge back has led some to believe I was wise, but I was not. It’s like I learned that this thing here is a “one”, and that thing there is a “two”, and I can identify that thing over there quickly as being a “three”. And I will never forget those pieces of knowledge I have learned over the years. However, once in a while, very often suddenly, a different kind of knowledge occurs, one that no one else has taught me and that I have not ever read about. Suddenly I may realize that “one” plus “two” plus “three” equal “six”. Six?? I never was told about or read about something called a “six”, and yet I suddenly realize that it exists, as concretely as the other knowledge I have obtained. It is a strange thing, this wisdom, which melds together facts, truths, into a new fact, a new truth: wisdom.

Psychologists note that wisdom comes as a natural thing with the passing of years. Fr. Benedict Groeshel notes that is why it is natural to see more older people in church; they have become wiser, and now understand the things of God and His Church. The older we get, the more experiences and knowledge we have gained, so there are certainly more possibilities for that knowledge to combine, to make a new sense to us. But we learned from Scripture, a source of knowledge, that Wisdom is a gift of the Holy Spirit, and it is He who brings it about. Jesus explained that “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life,” and we know about Him, the Truth: Wisdom, with the help of the Holy Spirit. But we can help make this possible through our continued accumulation of knowledge.

Oh, you may sometimes see some of the wisdom I have gained presented here (I have much gained knowledge from Scripture, the saints, theologians and philosophers and perhaps I would go insane if the Holy Spirit did not make sense of at least some of it); sometimes I even noted in my writings here how surprised I was at suddenly seeing something, like my Mother’s Day post. I’d like to think that the Holy Spirit is bestowing more wisdom on me as I grow older, helping me to better understand and be friends with all members of the Trinity, but if you, my friends, would like to get some good basics, some good knowledge explained in a way you can understand --- or question if you do not --- I strongly recommend Aimee’s blog, for at least occasional reading. (It’s probably a lot better than reading a lifetime of books, as I have done.)

I pray you are granted much Wisdom, peace, and growth in holiness --- and happiness. And if I can help in just some tiny way, I will continue to do so.

If We Would Be Salt

2011-08-01T12:14:00.003-04:00

Home again. Read the mail (mostly junk), watered the flowers, and fed the neighbor’s dog some Milkbones. I won’t hazard to guess the name of the flowers pictured here; my friend Gary notes that I can’t tell a lily from a dandelion (but I think these annual beauties are cala lilies).

I have no idea what type of dog she is, but she barks a lot.

The weekend conference speakers triggered many thoughts in my mind. (I ordered some CDs of the talks because I missed portions, as I wandered in my own la-la land of musings.) These thoughts were inspired by Kimberly Hahn.

We are called to be salt, but what does salt do? Salt makes people thirsty, and it brings a tang to the tongue, a sharp noticed, pleasant taste --- for most people. If we are called to be salt, I guess it means that people should notice us, and our faith. They should see us and feel a tang --- something is different about us. Young people dye their hair green or purple to be noticed; that is not how we, as Christians, are called to be noticed. We are called to be noticed as salt is. It gives a person a tang in his mouth, a tang which makes him think not about us (and our green hair) but about what we have made them feel, a tang.

And if you are a witness to Christ, you not only create this noticeable tang in other people’s mouths, but you will have created a longing in them to experience that tang again, in an even stronger way. They will thirst for more, and they will search to get this tang even if you are not around.

You will have created a searcher for Christ, for happiness not of this world but of everlasting length. No drug could ever create such an addiction, such a high, as a person who falls in love with Christ. Unlike drugs, where the first high is often described as the best ever, never to be repeated again, the discoverer of Jesus gets a high, a tang, which can not only be repeated, but one which can and does grow in intensity --- beyond what we could ever imagine.

Kimberly gave some little, but memorable, examples of how she has been salt to her family. She described having a bad day, behind on many projects and yet constantly being interrupted by her children for their minor needs, until finally she verbally jumped at one of them. Instead of sassing back, the 12-year old asked her: “Mom, would you like me to pray over you?”

She did, and he did, and both found peace. Her salt had found tang in his mouth, and he lived it and wanted more, and even shared it back with her. What type of salt had she spread to her family? She gave another example of the daily prayer said in her family, which ends with: “until we’re in heaven, together, forever.” Her family KNOWS they are family, and that they are loved, forever --- what greater tang than this could one leave in another’s mouth?

The Parable of the Sower describes the call to be salt in another way. A seed can start a whole field of growth, like the tang in the tongue which turns into a whole-body high, a tang which can be mixed with all the other ingredients of the world, and Scripture and the Church to create new, unique recipes no one has ever experienced before: our relationship with Christ. Unique, fulfilling, totally satisfying highs, that can forever change the lives of others, can be started from a very little thing: us.

If we would be salt.

Despair

2011-07-30T16:56:00.000-04:00

I am at a conference at Franciscan University, in Steubenville Ohio, this weekend --- Defending the Faith. I drove 5 hours to hear, among others, Steve Ray, who was from my parish back in Michigan (go figure, :-) ). In his talk, Steve mentioned the situation in ancient Rome, where many gods were worshiped, but to the frustration of Romans, none answered their prayers. Then Roman citizens began to take notice of Christians; they were willing to die for their belief in Jesus Christ. They had a God, not one among many, but ONE in whom they had confidence to answer their prayers, a confidence even to death.

While the Romans despaired in what was happening all around them in their society, and their gods were of no help, Christians they saw had something better. It was not only the bright light, the joy, of Christianity that attracted the Romans, it was the darkness of their own despair.

It was like the darkness we see in our society, today.

Despair and fear are all around us. Everyone knows the truth, but anyone who says someone else is wrong is chastised: “Who are you to say you know the truth; this is MY truth.” And we despair that we cannot agree upon anything, even the truth, whether in Washington or in our cities --- or often, in our homes.

Steve spoke today about how we might prepare to live in our neo-pagan society. He said that the first decision we face is: Do we get involved, or not. Much talk followed that, but it stopped there for me.

If we want to change our culture, if we even want to be able to live in our culture --- without despair --- we must become involved. We can rail one political party against another, one church against another, or we can get out, ourselves, and do something to change, even one person.

Many of the speakers at this conference spoke of their witness of their Catholic faith. Whether by wearing a cross, or a collar, or just by their actions, many of the speakers noted that their witness was both noticed and questioned: “Why do you wear that cross? Are you a priest? Why did you donate to that beggar?” While many in our culture despair (while still proclaiming their “wonderful” culture of diversity), there are still many others who want to know the truth, the one real truth, not a relative one. They will give you opportunities to help them understand that truth, if you will first stand up in witness.

Love of your neighbor doesn’t start with a political party or a church, it starts with you. All change, all happiness, starts with you and one other person --- your neighbor, your spouse, or your child. The early Christians believed the words of Jesus, and ACTED as if they did in the treatment of their neighbor, and in their public witness. They proclaimed their joy in knowing that eternal life awaited them, and so they wanted to act in ways to get there. Helping their neighbor in his despair, they didn’t fix all his problems, but they weren’t afraid to stand up and help anyway, even a little. And to tell and witness by their actions the truth as they knew it.

One nation under God was our declaration, but now it seems one nation in despair. How does it get better? It starts with you, not Washington. The Roman Empire was converted from the despair of paganism, one person at a time. That is how we’ll change America.