Review: Humility Rules

This book doesn’t make sense --- at first.  A man is described who seems down on his luck: “stressed out, bummed out, overworked, underappreciated, and anxious.”  And then the book’s author says that there is a solution to this man’s problem, a 12-step self-help program to improve his life.  It is The Ladder of Humility, a 12-step program to greater humility. And reading those words I almost screamed aloud: “What!  This guy’s in the dumps already and you’re telling him he needs to be more humble?  That sounds nuts!!”

But, I read on, and learned the importance of knowing where you are in life, and having the humility to accept things as they are --- and then further, the humility to accept that there is a reason for why things are as they are.  In subtle, short chapters, the author explains that God created every life unique, with a unique purpose.  In humility we learn to pray and act not with a “Here’s what I want, Lord” self-confidence, but a humble “I trust in You.  Show me what You want” love.  As the book’s subtitle notes, this is Saint Benedict’s 12-step guide to genuine self-esteem. It’s taking to heart the words: “I trust in You.”  The book’s title not only references the rules of humility, but that humility must rule in our lives.

This book has deep, yet has short chapters --- with homework at the end of each; it is interesting enough that it will resonate even in teenage minds with short attention spans.  It may also help change their “I know everything” mindsets into more open ones.  (And referencing the book, parents could quietly ask them: “Did you do your homework?”)  This could even be a good family read, around the table, one chapter a night.  I’ve already given away a dozen copies of this book to friends.  It is a classic.

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Today’s gospel is on The Good Shepherd.  In light of this book, I see how we should all be good shepherds amidst those God puts in our lives.  We need to be able to say as Jesus said: “I know my own, and my own know me.” --- and then accept them (and ourselves) as they are, perhaps as joys in our lives, or even trouble.  And we accept them where we are in the flock, in our role right now, perhaps amidst what seems darkness or rain, perhaps out looking for the one who doesn’t want to be found.  This gospel , like the book, is telling us to do our best, and not worry about the outcome, but to love and pray “I trust in You.”

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In my night prayers last night, I saw some old words I had read literally hundreds of times in the past, but I saw them in a new light, and so I underlined them in my prayer book, so I would not forget:

Psalm 4

When I call, answer me, O God of justice
… have mercy and hear me!

O men, how long will your hearts be closed,
will you love what is futile and seek what is false?

It is the Lord who grants favors to those whom he loves;
the Lord hears me whenever I call him.

… Make justice your sacrifice, and trust in the Lord.

This prayer starts out saying: Lord, give me justice, just as when we often pray when we ask God for things we think are just and right and good.  But the last line of the Psalm says to make justice your sacrifice --- not your prayer.  It in effect says “Lord, I think this is a just solution to my problem, but I offer up what I think is just, and instead my prayer will be: I trust in You.”

That was the message of this book.  Wherever we are in our life, happy or troubled, content or seeking solutions --- or praying for them, wherever, our prayer should be: “I trust in You.”  You have put me here and now for a reason, Lord, I trust in You.

There is a reason for the saying “It’s hard to be humble.”  We need to work at it.

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In my life, God showed me a large problem, and asked me to fix it.  I prayed.  I developed a solution.  I then prayed, begged, for the means to achieve it.  And in a surprising way, one day He gave me the means I had prayed for.  Then, the very next day, He showed me that I could implement my solution --- but that He had a better one.  It didn’t take much thought for me to see that His solution was indeed a better one, in many aspects.  But His solution, once started, was beyond my control.  I could be at great risk.  To do things His way required a much greater trust, for I was not in control.

It’s hard to be humble, and to say with all sincerity: “My Jesus, I trust in You.”

When Others Are Wrong

I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (1-2)

For by the grace given to me I bid everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith which God has assigned him.  For as in one body we have many members, and all the members do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.  Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them:  if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; he who teaches, in his teaching; he who contributes, in liberality; he who gives aid, with zeal; he who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. (3-8)

Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with brotherly affection; outdo one another in showing honor.  Never flag in zeal, be aglow with the Spirit, serve the Lord.  Rejoice in your hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.  Contribute to the needs of the saints, practice hospitality.  (9-13)

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.  Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; never be conceited.  Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.  If possible, so far as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all.  Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”  No, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by doing so you will heap burning coals upon his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (14-21)

Romans 12

This morning the Bible Study guys finished Romans Chapter 12.  It is only 21 verses, but it has taken us a whole month of meetings.  The time spent there, coupled with recent events in my life, have given me a great appreciation for the importance of these words of St. Paul.

The Bible Study discussions on Romans 12 were very deep, and very personal.  Every man had examples of events in his life.  All spoke of difficult people or events in their lives, from kids to wives to co-workers.  They often spoke of their anger towards these people, these people whom they were supposed to love and respect.  And they discussed strategies for change, to change their bad feelings and thoughts.  But I think if all of their words were written down and placed side by side with the words of Romans 12, a simple comparison might say they are talking about different subjects.  As the Bible Study guys words would illustrate, much of their concern was about what they felt, how they hurt, and how people didn’t understand them.

Romans 12 is not about us, but about those other people God has put in our lives.  It’s telling us to put on an attitude as Jesus had, to NOT be irritated by others, to NOT compare them to “how right we are,” but to love them, just as THEY are.

As He did.

In recent weeks, God has shown me many people whose lives are greatly different than mine.  I’ve seen people who CHOOSE TO live in filth, to accept very low income, to prioritize things I think petty, and to ignore things I think of as having great importance.  Even if they are intelligent --- and some are --- they don’t think like I do.  And what they say or do, or the lack of respect they have for what I say or do, makes me angry.

Which verse of Romans should I appeal to, to judge my anger?  Verse 3, which says don’t think so highly of myself?  Or Verse 5 which says we are members together?  Or should I seek the good in them, as Verse 6 says we all have different gifts AND GRACE?  Or should I take consolation in Verse 18, which says “If possible, so far as it depends on (me), live peaceably with all.”  If possible??

Verse 9 says to hate “what” is evil, not “who.”  The Bible Study guys mostly talked about “why I’m right and you’re wrong,” to justify their anger.  Romans 12 points out that right and wrong are “whats,” not “whos.”  Romans 12 points out that “who” we are is part of the Body of Christ, and we should love all members of the body, no matter what they do, no matter what they say, and no matter how they live.

We need to read Romans 12 and seriously study it, and resolve to change who we are, and how we act --- and react.  And we need to love, and not judge.  It’s an important lesson, this Easter Season; Jesus thought it important enough to die for.

In heaven will be perfect happiness, and perfect love.  In hell will be perfect sadness, and perfect hate.  But we live on earth, where there are only degrees of good and evil.  We need to stop acting as if I’m right and you’re wrong, I’m good and you’re evil, I’m smart and you are stupid.  All our thoughts in these areas are formed by what people have said or done.  People are not “whats.”

In a word, it’s about humility.  You cannot love without humility.  Charity, love, is how we CHOOSE to act toward others, and choose to stop acting in pride and self-love.

We can choose to live more humbly.  We can act with love toward others, even if their actions are not ones we would choose.  Their actions (and ours) will ultimately be judged by God.

No, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by doing so you will heap burning coals upon his head (Romans 12:20) --- you will be killing him with kindness, and his pain may be an incentive to change “what” he does.

But regardless, act with love towards him, for who he is.  Our friends, our families, our co-workers are not stupid; we need to act more humbly.  It’s a hard lesson to learn, and harder to put into effect, but to a large degree our lives, and our joy, depend on it.

"Who Are You Looking For?"

I greatly enjoy reading the daily Gospel meditations in the book, The Better Part, but some days are “Better” than others.

Today’s Gospel (JN 20:11-18) has Jesus appearing to Mary outside His tomb.  She initially thinks He is the gardener.  Then, He asks her: “Who are you looking for?”

The Better Part (#300) leads you to ponder the bigger picture of that question:  At the beginning of this Gospel of John, Jesus’ first words were: “What are you looking for?”  In today’s Gospel we see that word “what” has been re-focused to “Who”.  We often seek what will better our life here on earth, but the answer is a “Who.”  All we seek in life, whatever that might be, is answered in Him, the “Who.”

Mary had just seen angels at Jesus’ tomb, but she wasn’t satisfied with what they told her, she still sought Him. But while looking about, she didn’t notice Him there, right at her side --- as He is at our side, often unnoticed.  The Better Part reflections note the subtle message in her actions, and how all of us need to continue seeking Him, and to make that quest the direction of our lives.  

“If we truly want the fullness of life that He came to bring us, He will be able to give it to us, because we will be willing to take the risk of leaving behind the comfort of self-centeredness to launch out on the adventure of self-giving.”

Who are you looking for?  The whats which might gain for you everything the earth has to offer, or the Who, who might gain for you everything eternity has to offer?  It’s taken me many years to firmly decide that I will choose the latter option, and not focus on things I might want here on earth, but look forward to what was promised in eternity.

And to attain that, I must get to know Him better.