Tuesday, June 25, 2013
I Want To Go Home To My Father
The forecast didn’t call for rain today, but promptly at 7:30 this morning the thunder roared loudly, and the downpour began. That’s okay; I wasn’t sleeping. As I got up off the couch and prepared to leave mom’s home, I took one last look around, and then walked out into the pouring rain. Across the street, the neighbor Mario was fiddling with his fishing rod in his open garage door, and so I slowly walked through the downpour to greet him. He looked up at me, soaking wet, in a bit of a surprise, but that was okay. I was still not used to the words, and so the rain hid the tears as I said:
My mother died last night.
It was a most peaceful death as I watched her last breath at 2AM, and said goodbye. I think at least some of the hospice workers will be surprised today; we had a meeting scheduled for Thursday to consider how she’s doing, and her future care. Her strength had surprised everyone. Her breathing increased yesterday evening, as she slept through another day without eating, and at 8PM I went home. But my life-in caregiver texted my niece, telling her she was scared. And my niece called me, and so I rushed back to the house. That was a great blessing, for having the caring caregiver, and for the loving niece --- who is an eldercare nurse and knows of these things. It may be time, Uncle Tom. I had prayed for God’s blessing and mercy for mom, and that I might be with her at the end.
Great is our God.
These last days she has slept continuously, and took nourishment only (it seemed to me) as a swallowing reflex, as we poured Ensure in her mouth. But she didn’t say anything. Among her last words to me last week were words to tell me again that she loved me, and once to say:
I want to go home to my father. She couldn’t hear me, but I softly responded to her: I know, mom. And I’m sure he’s waiting for you. I wish I could go with you, but you go on ahead to him. It’s okay. I’ll come along later.
Mom was the last of her seven siblings to go home, and I am the last of mine. For a while I wondered if she would be the last one standing, but in this too, God heard my prayers.
And I thank you for yours.