It's Who I Am

I heard those words again yesterday, as someone explained/justified their actions by saying: “It’s who I am.”  Reflecting on those words, I think they are incomplete for my understanding or agreement.

For a start, there are groups or positions we have chosen to be.  I am a Boy Scout; I am an usher; I am a CPA.  That’s who I am, because for whatever reason, that’s who I chose to be.  I can be in lots of groups at the same time, infrequently does it happen that claiming to be in one group excludes me from another, and once I choose to join a group, I can always choose to leave it.

There are also groups I can choose which affect my way of thinking over time.  I am a Christian; I am an atheist, or I am a trans-sexual can deeply affect my thoughts on my life’s priorities, morality, and my thoughts on the purpose of life itself.  I included trans-sexual as an example because of emerging data on this new-found “choice”.  I heard of some large studies which found that young women saying they are trans-sexual is up 5000% versus a decade ago, four times the rate of young men.  And over 75% of those women have a college-educated parent, and are almost totally from single parent (mom) homes, and are over 90% white.  And virtually all are on the social media Tik-Tok. If being trans-sexual is really not a choice but some type of innate being, then where are all the male and other race trans-sexual beings, and where are the older people saying “at last, I can come out and be who I am”?  There are none.  Certainly, a lot more studies need to be done, but my background as an analyst (it’s who I am) says this is largely a choice, which begs the question of why and to what impact.

But I am sure there are some who would define “who I am” as being innate, biological, beyond my control, and I don’t doubt that may be true for some.  No one’s brain is formed in the same way and no one has the same experiences in life.  We are all unique beings, and certainly some will have physical or mental differences from others.  Studies could be done to identify the amount and degree of difference from --- “normal”?  Is “abnormal” 25% of the population, 5%, 1%, 1 in a million, or only 2 people in the world, like perhaps a baby born with 3 heads or 6 feet.  And if there are identified large groups of people who are classified as not being like the majority of “normal” people, how should normal people treat these “outside the majority” groups, and how should these groups treat the majority of “normal” people?

Sticking only with mental abnormalities, there are a number of groups commonly found: the senile, autistic, alcoholic, kleptomaniac, and pedophiliac, to name a few.  I myself would add any non-biologically sexually inclined people as a group.  In general, “normal” people have been understanding of people with abnormal mental drives, and in general many of those people try to minimize their abnormal inclinations.  Senile or mentally challenged may have caregivers, and alcoholics, kleptomaniacs, and pedophiles may join 12-step programs to limit the effect of their mania. Homosexuals used to be in that group, but are now not only encouraged to “come out of the closet”, but to celebrate their condition and even encourage others to imitate it or even broader sexual differences.  Pedophiliacs are on the same path toward claiming “normal” behavior.  Will we soon be encouraged to invite kleptomaniacs and pedophiles to become our friends and encourage our kids to “choose” their mania?

If I and a group of friends choose to share our minds and went online to encourage others to think as we do, it might become a popular trend, but like most trends it would soon pass.  But youngsters making life-changing sexual decisions and societal support for a radical departure from historical and cultural evolution are not passing fads.  They will have huge on-going results.  We can’t see the future, but historical facts show that such radical changes of culture (like socialism) rarely turn out well, and millions will likely die because of the “choice” of some who choose to be “who I am” strictly for their own perceived ego and pleasure, not considering their impact on others.

My personal prayer each day is that I might be who God created me to be, that unique being He intended.  I want His will, not mine, no matter how strong are my desires, for His plans will get me an eternity of happiness, with Him.  That’s who I am. That’s what I want, and why.

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If I had to put my perceptions of many young in a word, I’d say “fun”.  It seems to be a focus of their lives, whether in sexual feelings with others, or private feelings while staring at a screen.  Fun seems to be the aim of their lives, but studies show that like any other addiction, the quest for fun is never satisfied.  And in frustration, depression and death enter many young lives.  Sadly, they don’t consider that the feelings they strive for are just animal feelings, but humans are not “just” animals.  The history of humans has been one of survival first, then finding meaning and purpose in life, not fun.  Over centuries, and even as a human person, God came to teach humans their meaning and purpose (why He created them).  It was not for “fun” now, but joy for eternity.  Bible history has been lost in our youth’s education.

This Friday morning, the Bible Study guys I meet with were reflecting on Matthew, Chapter 27.  This very same day, the extremely popular podcast site, Bible in a Year, was reading and reflecting on the exact same chapter ---- coincidence?  You know I don’t believe that.  Matthew 27 is about the Passion and death of Jesus.

Many who don’t study the Bible say “Jesus came to teach us how to live --- just love one another.”  If you remove the word “just” I might agree, but that is not the total truth.  Jesus came to teach us how to live, but He also came to teach us how to die.  Both are covered in Matthew 27.  A life lived well will include suffering (things not fun) and dying, each of which has a purpose.  Those are the things Jesus teaches in the Bible --- “teaches” not “taught”, for the lesson goes on every day of our lives.  When “fun” becomes the focus of our lives, we’ve stopped learning, because learning no fun.  It is a growing in being, growing more like God, until we join Him.  He is waiting for us to come to Him: “I go to prepare a place for you.”

That place is not “fun” on earth.  We can choose a “fun” focus for our here and now versus an eternal focus, but human death and eternity will still come. And if we have not prepared, that eternity will not be any joy.

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After the guy’s Bible Study, I went to church early this morning, before mass.  There I participated in the usual Friday morning praying of the Stations of the Cross --- reflections on our Lord’s Passion and death.  Later at mass, I learned that today is the feast day of St. Padre Pio, a man who suffered with the Stigmata (the 5 wounds of Christ, visible and painful) most of his life --- but many other people were healed of their wounds through his prayers. 

Our lives have a purpose and meaning, and it involves others.  That’s what Jesus showed us.  And we need to trust Him.

 

Sower and Grower

The Parable of the Sower has two sides.  We are the receiver of seeds sown by others and God’s Word.  How much fruit we yield depends on the richness of our soil.  We can make our soil more fertile by seeking/practicing humility: we don’t seek things from God or our neighbor for ourselves.  Love is about giving of self.  If we are fertile soil, our fruit will serve others.  We can’t seek love FROM God or neighbor.  We must take actions to love them, diminishing our self-love.

We’d like to think that we have fertile soil, that we are depositories of the Word of God.  We seek to spread our supposed good fruit, our seeds, as God would wish us to.  The soil our seeds falls on WE do not change, and the taking root of our sown seeds is the result of the sun and rain, God’s actions.  But we often want to control those results.

Especially for friends or family, we often find it difficult to accept the Parable of the Sower.  We don’t sow seeds they may not like.  We don’t ask them to go to church with us or to pray with us.  We crave their love --- it’s what WE want --- and we take actions to get love, even if those are not God’s actions.  If our family, our friends, our culture doesn’t like our seeds, we stop sowing so we will feel loved.  We are followers of Jesus, spreading His Word --- unless they don’t want to hear it.  This is especially true of sexual sins, which many/most now say don’t exist.  It’s “a choice”.  And we lie to ourselves by agreeing yes, it is a sin, but giving no witness to that.  We say we believe Jesus, but don’t tell anyone else.  There are parts of the Gospel which describe these types of “followers” of whom Jesus says: “I don’t know you.”

We forget the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy, like feeding the hungry, sheltering the poor, visiting those in prison, or admonishing the sinner.  In these works of mercy, we can love those who have made poor choices without supporting their choices.  Jesus ate with tax collectors, but He didn’t excuse their sins at the dinner table.  He came to save sinners, not affirm their actions.  His life was a witness against sin, as ours should be.  Part of the seeds we sow are our actions, our witness to what we believe.  We don’t join gay parades because they are fun.  We don’t go to gay marriage celebrations.  When our children come to visit with “a friend”, they sleep in separate bedrooms.  This is our witness to what we believe.  These are seeds we sow.  We don’t lecture or point fingers; they know us by our actions.  It should be no surprise.  If they want to talk about why we believe, we explain --- and if we can’t explain, we seek reasons why Jesus taught that.  I thought it ironic that a men’s group studying writings of converts found that the new Christians overcame their non-belief of Christ’s word by doing research, yet these same men said they disagreed with Catholic sexual teachings --- and never sought to research the what’s and why’s of those teachings.  Others can find the truth, but they can’t?

Sexual sins are pointed out in the Old and New Testaments.  In Revelation we read how God praises some new Christian communities, except that they commit sexual sins.  It’s not new news.  What is new is our culture not only denying they are sins, but celebrating them.  And we go along.  As do even some Catholic priests.

I heard “Yes, but they’re good kids,” and “they can’t help their urges.”  Kleptomania, alcoholism, drug addiction and pedophilia are also said to be compulsive --- “they can’t help it” --- sins.  And even if treatment programs don’t work, we expect those people to WILL to stop those sins.  Even if they can’t help feeling gay, they can will not to act on their compulsions.  Even if pornography is the number one internet web action, we can still WILL not to watch.

When we stop willing, when we excuse other’s weaknesses --- or celebration of their weaknesses --- so that “they will love us” or not think we are judging them, we are agreeing with their judgment of us.  We accept that we are wrong in our belief, and that God is wrong.  They judge us and God, and we are afraid of judging THEIR ACTIONS (not them), they might think we don’t love them.

Scripture says that if you want to follow ME, you must be willing to leave mother, father, sister, and brother.  When we publicly condone sexual sins, we have stopped sowing seeds of Christ.  We are not His witnesses.  And He will say “I don’t know you.”

And “but I wanted them to love me” will be answered with “and you didn’t want ME to love you?”

This past week the Catholic Church celebrated St. Maria Goretti, a young girl who in the early 1900’s refused to give up her virginity, and was killed.  Today laws are being passed which make some teachings of the Christian faith illegal.  Are there ANY teachings of Jesus you’d be willing to go to jail for, much less be martyred for, or are all His teachings “relative” to the times?

Let's Have Sex

It rained all weekend --- hard.  Sunday evening had temperatures only in the 60’s, but it felt like the 90’s as heavy humidity weighed down the air.  But Monday was promised to be a day of sunshine.

And so, as I took to the road this morning I was surprised to see the sky cut, like a knife, into three pieces:  to the East was a line of very dark clouds, the last of yesterday’s rains, overhead was a narrow strip of blue sky --- the promise of today, but to the West lay yet another line of clouds.  Oh, no!  What would the day really bring?

As I drove West towards church the landscape seemed a dark grey color everywhere.  In my new car I listened to the Sirius Radio Sinatra station, to old songs of love and romance, and how good they were, and yearned for by everyone.  They were bright thoughts, but the dark grey of the early morning overwhelmed them.

I thought of how today’s songs no longer focus on love, or if the word is used what is usually meant is sex.  Unlike the time of Sinatra, many people no longer know what love really is --- or truly, what sex really is.  Last night on the news I heard how one state now leads in teen out-of-wedlock births, and the reported cause was the state schools’ (shocking) teaching of sexual abstinence.  That will change.  Now kids will be taught how to have wonderful sex and avoid pregnancy.  Isn’t that the responsible thing to do?  As an analyst all my life, I easily saw the problem with that type of solution.  The solution is “what I want, what I think, what is my opinion, and what I KNOW is right,” implemented without any analysis by self-proclaimed experts.  Reasoned analysis looks at a newly-discovered problem and asks: “What facts changed to cause the problem,” not “What do I think is happening.”  A rise in crime during the full moon IS NOT (!!!) caused by the full moon just because someone thinks so!  To fix a problem, you must first find the facts of its cause, and not run for more bandages.

What has changed in our schools (as I am aware of) is the forbidden mentioning of God, virtues, love, marriage, and what they are and why they exist, and how sex is only a part of the picture they paint of our culture --- a complete picture which existed and was good from the beginning, but our children are no longer allowed to be taught that.  The bigger picture is not taught.  Today history in schools is not how things were in total, but a focus on how the bad things were, and the solution to all history’s problems is to change today, a change to be found in the mirror: you, and no one else, draws the picture of your life.  And those bigger picture items of the past and even the present? --- they do not involve you, paint them out of your life:  no marriage, no commitments, no children, and certainly no religion; we will not teach those things; they are unimportant.  “Let’s have sex” is all that’s important.  It’s what you say to the mirror.

As I drove West this morning listening to the soft crooning tunes, thinking, I looked into the mirror of my life.  I recalled my sins, and yes, the word to describe them is sin, a word soon to be removed from Webster’s Dictionary, I fear, or at least one whose definition will be preceded by “arch.”  I was melancholy in my thoughts; yes, I had sinned but I also had done many good things.  But then I recalled how many of those good things came about.

Ring-ring, and someone asked if I’d like to join the Jaycees, and I did.  Ring-ring, and someone asked if I could spend some time fixing houses so poor families could live in them, and I did.  Ring-ring, and the diocese asked if I would lead a support group for troubled marriages and address marriage prep classes --- and I said no.  Ring-ring, and I was asked to take over leadership of the local Catholic Charities chapter, and I said no.  I thought how many of those calls over the years were from complete strangers, but I knew who they were really from --- although at the time, perhaps stranger did define His relationship to me.  Why did He keep calling?  Why did I say no so often?  What would my life have been like if I had said yes more often?

As I was nearing the church I drove around a curve in the road --- and the scene before me caused me to gasp!  Very tall trees lined both sides of the road, but they seemed to be cut in half.  The bottom half was colored the dark grey of the early morning, but the top half was a brilliant gold color, which overwhelmed the Spring green leaves which covered the trees.  Behind me, to the East, the Sun had shown itself through a slit in the dark clouds and brightened the treetops before me.

What a blessing to see, with my eyes, and with my heart.

It was a reminder, a ringing.  Behind even the darkest day, there is God’s light.  Perhaps it will sometimes shine so brightly that we can’t not gasp, as this morning.  Or perhaps sometimes it will be a call from a stranger.  Or it may be a silent ringing in our heart.  But He does call; He does brighten our lives.  He will always call, whether we answer or not.  He promised.

You can look back at your life and perhaps only see darkness.  You can look at our culture and dark things capture your attention first.  But don’t forget:  There was Light; there is Light; there will always be Light.  And He will call you.  Listen!

And even if Webster no longer defines it that way, even the oldest of us can be taught what our country, and what the world once knew:  God, family, marriage and our culture and its history are important.  And “Let’s” means “Let us --- together,” do something, together in our plans, together in our desires, for the good of all.  Regardless of what the schools teach, what you want is not that important, for you are not alone in this world.  Creation is not meant for you, but for God.

Don’t confuse who you are seeing in the mirror.

The commandment that I write you is new, as it is
realized in Him and you, for the darkness is over,
and the real light begins to shine.
The man who claims to be in light,
hating his brother all the while,
is in darkness even now.
The man who continues in the light
is the one who loves his brother.
1Jn 2:8-10