Is Company Coming?

 

It was a hot spring day, 88 degrees this afternoon, and a bright clear sky.  The adoration chapel I had visited had the a/c turned up high, and it blew an almost cold breeze on my arms, so I was in no hurry to leave.  Besides the good Company there, I knew my house was probably a lot warmer.  I had the inspector come out just this week, for both my heating and a/c.  Both are in top condition, but for years I have had a goal of not turning on the a/c before June, and the furnace not on before November.  And in some years, I’ve actually been successful!

After dinner at home, I was playing some computer games at my kitchen table, when suddenly --- BOOM!!  And when I looked out the window, it was cloudy and raining.  An hour or two later, I heard my neighbor dragging his garbage cans out to the curb for tomorrow’s pickup.  The rain had stopped, so I went out and made conversation.  I thanked him for putting up the basketball net and playing with his boys.  I know many examples of kids gone astray because of missing or “too busy” fathers.  That personal relationship with a loving dad really matters, especially in these times.

I commented that the temperature had dropped noticeably during the rain, so I excused myself, went back into my house and grabbed a book, and went for a walk.  I used to be known as “the book man” to people within a few miles of my house, as walking while reading was a part of my normal day --- until a few years ago.  Maybe I can start again.  Walking back home after reading a few pages while on a short tour of my sub-division, I noticed a male and female duck standing by the tree in my front yard.  Over the years, I’ve often had nesting ducks under the bushes in my back yard, but I just this week noticed how overgrown my front bushes are.  So, as I approached them, I said: “Well, duckies, there are some nice bushes around my house.  You are welcome to stay.”  And as I went in my front door, I saw them make a bee-line toward my front bushes.

Maybe I’ll have company again this year.  I’ll have to keep a lookout, especially if I see momma duck sitting on a nest in my front yard --- near the new basketball net next door.  Maybe I’ll need to have another conversation with my neighbor, if I see that company has arrived for a while.  His boys are too young to have once seen ducks in my yard in the past, but previous neighbors’ kids were fascinated, especially when the ducklings began cheeping.

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And speaking of company, reminds me of the conversation I had yesterday afternoon.  My other neighbor’s parents were visiting again.  The mother told me that she comes on the weekends now, when her daughter has her chemo treatments because “it gets pretty bad.”  My 44-year-old neighbor is fighting a stage 4 liver cancer.  I confided in the mom how my sister had also fought, and the years she stayed were a blessing for her daughters, all of whom had new children during her cancer.  And I mentioned some miraculous cures I know of; prayers matter.  I told her if she and her husband were ever in need of a place to stay while visiting, my spare bedroom is always available.  Company is always welcome at my house.  She thanked me.  In a way though, that is not company I’d enjoy having, but I trust God is in control.  Always.

We Need a Children's March?

There was a Right-to-Life March in Washington (and other cities) again this year, calling for an end to abortion in this country.  On a different day was a different march, to celebrate “the Right to Choose” --- directly opposed to the Right-to-Life but afraid to call itself a Right-to-Death March.  We often cloud our mind with softer words when facing harsh realities.  It occurred to me, however, that both sides of “the issue” are not “THE issue”.  The right of a child to live is the issue --- or a blob of tissue to turn into a child, if you prefer other words --- so, shouldn’t there be a children’s march: “WE have a Right to Life”?

Now certainly this whole debate is clouded by a most basic disagreement:  who creates life.  Some say God; some say man.  The latter group will try to talk about scientific facts, but any biologist will tell you that man has never created life from nothing, and like the question “What was before the Big Bang?” the question of “What caused the first life form on earth?” has never been definitely answered by science.  Man has never created something out of nothing, and never will.  Man is not God.  Some auto workers say: “We create cars,” but all they really do is assemble cars from materials given to them.  Man and woman “making a baby” are no different.  The auto worker has no right to destroy a car because he assembled it, nor does a man or woman --- or the two in agreement --- have a right to destroy a baby.  They don’t own it.  They make a baby’s life possible, but they are not the creators of that life.

But enough of such philosophy and theology, what about “The Life”, the child?  Certainly, it seems fairest that the children, the ones who survived at any rate, should have the most say about “Rights to Die” --- or be killed.  But then I think about all the other things “modern man” is dumping on children: “You need to choose your sex, and your associated clothes, and your associated bathroom, and, and, and, and.  There are so many life-changing things we are telling children they must choose --- life changing!!

THEY ARE CHILDREN!!!

What part of those three words don’t “adults” understand?  We recognize the importance of maturity in some decisions and responsibilities:  You can’t drive; you can’t smoke; you can’t drink; you can’t vote; you can’t join the military (or be drafted), and you can’t run for elected office --- until you reach a certain age of maturity.  Yet the same adults who demand maturity in these important decisions say children should make even more important decisions, decisions which will impact their whole life.  Adults say children should make these decisions in their immature years, as if these decisions were less important than, for example, deciding to have a single glass of beer, or smoke a cigarette.

No, children shouldn’t be marching on Washington, choosing their sex, or deciding if they should live or die.  Mature decisions require maturity --- or at least they used to in this country.  But now it seems the “adult kids” want to see (and be) permanent kids, always playing games, making what used to be children’s make-believe stories their reality.

And, yet, these who make us consider such fantasies, can’t imagine there is a God.

When I was a child there used to be jokes about “the inmates running the asylum”, but no one ever wanted to be the inmates.  How (sadly) times change.

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In the state of Michigan, there has been much “news” about the 150 girls abused by their athletic physician.  Everyone seems shocked that it could go on, but I am not surprised.  When we teach kids in our public schools, at a very young age, that “it’s only sex”, why should we be surprised it is treated lightly as they grow up?  Why did so many girls not report this “only sex” action?  Why did many of their parents, of those who were informed, view the sexual activities less important than their daughter’s athletic success?

We used to view it the parent’s responsibility to raise their children to be Godly adults, now we view it the school’s responsibility to raise them as “successful” adults.  As a country, we used to believe that a life well-lived ended in heaven.  And now?

Now, I continue to pray for our country.  I don’t pontificate that I know answers to our situation, and I try not to judge, but I will pray, and trust. And hearing all the “news”, pray some more.

I Want to Change Who I Am

I believe I am part of a trinity --- a family of God, me and neighbor.  So, I guess it’s appropriate that many of these thoughts came to me on the feast day of the Holy Family.  These thoughts revolve around how I live this trinitarian relationship, a relationship designed and prioritized by God: His one commandment is for me to love God and neighbor.  Now as a Christian I know this and I can choose to act as the person He wishes me to be, …. But that wording expresses the key point:  I don’t want to “act” like the person He wants me to be --- like an actor memorizing his lines --- but I want to BE the person He wants me to be.

I’ve had continuing reflections (some written here) on how to change who I am, who I am: not in what I know with my brain, but what I believe and live out in my heart.  The Friday Bible Study guys talked about how our emotions and the actions they sometimes trigger seem to represent our true selves, where our heart is.  Emotions aren’t calculated in the brain.  You cry singing The National Anthem because you ARE patriotic, not just acting like it by singing the words.  You cry after receiving Holy Communion because you KNOW God is present.  And you raise a middle finger and curse aloud at the guy who cut you off in traffic because he is not doing things as you, in your heart, think proper, and so, the pride in your heart triggers negative emotions.

In the past, I’ve considered how to go about putting into my heart a better relationship with God.  I’ve concluded that spending more time with Him, with reading His words or words others wrote about Him, and in speaking to Him in prayer more often --- all these would help make my relationship with Him change from being one of merely knowledge about Him to truly knowing Him, and loving Him in my heart.  And in knowing Him, my emotions would automatically know His will for me, or seek it in my needs.  I know can work at my relationship with God, and I do.

But what about my relationship with other people here on earth?  How do I change the automatic finger raising at being cut off (for example) to an automatic reaching for the cross hanging from the car’s rearview mirror, or reaching for God’s presence in my heart?  How do I change the automatic curses because somehow this stranger in traffic hurt me, to prayers because somehow HE is hurt --- perhaps he is distracted because of some crisis or tragedy in his life; perhaps he’s rushing to the hospital; perhaps he’s stressed out thinking about some work assignment, OR perhaps he’s always such a jerk.  But regardless of the possible reason for his inconsiderate action, it demonstrates he needs prayers --- MY prayers, my prayers for this person who is part of the trinity God put me in; he is my neighbor here on earth, who I am called to love.

Okay, let’s say I see that I am the person who reacts with such negative emotions, not the positive ones described.  How do I change who I am relative to my neighbor, to come to a natural love of him, from my heart?

One of the Bible Study guys offered that he recognized some negative reactions in his relationship with his wife, and both he and she set some rules to help avoid those potentially sinful situations or reactions to them.  They would not give in to their emotions in certain situations by remembering --- or being reminded by their partner --- of their agreed upon rules.  And over time, this man noted, he has seen the rules become more of the norm of their hearts, and they weren’t really rules anymore, but automatic actions in their relationship.  They changed their relationship with their neighbor (their spouse in this case); they changed their hearts; they changed who they were.

For example, they agreed neither would meet with members of the opposite sex alone.  They had read --- or perhaps experienced in a prior marriage --- where that can lead.  So, if an old friend of the opposite sex asks his wife out for lunch, she brings along a girlfriend.  He acts in a similar way.  Another rule they agreed to was that neither leaves the house in anger.  He may have a meeting to go to, but if he’s angry at her he will cancel the meeting and stay home.  “We may be in different rooms, but if we get angry with each other we won’t leave the house.  We won’t seek consolations from any other person or thing --- like alcohol, for instance.  And,” he said, “that rule has helped us resolve issues quicker, sometimes avoiding angry confrontations.”  Through the rule, they are changing their hearts, making love of their spouse a greater priority than their feelings of “what I want” in a situation.

I liked these examples of how to change your heart.  Rules could perhaps help.  We try to change our eating or exercising habits to lower our weight by setting rules; why shouldn’t we attempt to change our relational habits to bring more joy to us and others by setting rules?  Jesus’ focus was on our loving habits, not our weight or our looks; if He prioritized the former, we can too.

It’s the New Year; perhaps it’s a good time to set some resolutions to change our hearts.  I think we would do well to set some rules accentuating positive actions --- ways to love our neighbor.  We’d also do well to set some rules to change our negative reactions --- like grabbing a cross when we are cut off in traffic, and saying a prayer.  Rules CAN become routine, part of our heart and our emotional reactions, if we have the resolve to really act as part of this trinity we were created to be.

Change is possible.

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Today I lived an example of how I would like always to live, who I would always like to be.  A friend invited me to her home for a New Year’s Day mass.  A priest friend was free and she invited him to come to her house to say mass for her and her children, and a few friends.  The mass itself was a bit noisy, not unlike most churches, as some of the younger kids were acting like young kids.  But I had brought along some mass cards from my church, as asked, and the Protestant friends in the room were able to pray the mass prayers along with us.  I could not imagine a better living out our being part of a trinity.  All the people together, regardless of their differences, gathered to love and praise God and one another.

We shared brunch after the mass, and in getting to know one another were surprised that this priest from Uganda, people from some far-away areas of the state, and the host and even I, had many things and even friends in common.  It was great fun and great sharing.  In my readings I know of many such community gatherings being common in many parts of the world, like Africa for instance, but it was a rare treat to see it come together in my life. 

Perhaps 2018 will be a year of the world coming together, and at least for a time, and finding peace.