Keep Your Eyes on God

 

I’ve been struggling to write a blog posting about love; it’s such a simple, yet immensely complicated thing.  I now have come to realize that I can’t really think about it --- not in the sense of understanding it.  God IS Love; how could I ever comprehend the totality of His Being so I can write it all down?

But there are some things I can comprehend --- or think I do.  How many hundred times did I read and reflect on Matthew 14, where Jesus walks on water, and bids Peter to come to Him.  And Peter does, also walking on water until He takes his eyes (and focus) off of Jesus, and he begins to sink.  I could write many words, deeply insightful and perhaps inspired words about this passage.  I mean I understood the message, or I thought I did.

In reflections in The Better Part (#47) about that Gospel, Fr. Bartunek wrote: “as he let his eyes wander away from Christ to examine the intimidating waves, he began to sink.”  Certainly, I could add to Fr. Bartunek’s words, but the word “intimidating” struck me.  What would you say if I asked you what was intimidating in your life?  I can imagine many of your answers.  It’s a rare person who would respond: “Nothing.”   We live in the world, and therefore the world does affect us in some way.  It must, but how we react is the question.  Do we ignore the world and events around us, or do we let them influence us in some way?  How much?  You can ignore the breeze or the beautiful sunshine, but you better not ignore that STOP sign.  So, in the situation Peter was in, how could he not be aware, and even worried, about the waves?  That’s why the quote I noted so struck me tonight.

I guess it started a few weeks ago, when my local church displayed a large banner in the narthex.  The banner had a large Image of Jesus’ crucified face, and the words “Seeing Jesus among us,” and lower down were the words “Seeing the face of Jesus in everyone.”  That face and the words seemed to hang with me, like it was important, but I wasn’t sure why.  On the surface, I equated it with the command that we must love God and neighbor, but that seemed too simple.

Tonight, reading Fr. Bartunek’s Gospel commentary about Peter sinking caused me to recall that banner, and my previous attempts to describe my thoughts about love.  I think I now have a better insight into a key underpinning about that word love, and what it means to each of us.  The banner is a suggestion on how we should live our life, seeing the face of Jesus in everyone.  After all, we are all God’s children and He loves each of us, whether we are a good child or a bad one, and so each person is our sibling.  There are many reasons for siblings to argue or even not talk to one another, but we have a parent telling us “to apologize to your sibling.”  In the Gospel of Matthew, that parent tells us rather bluntly that if we have anything against our neighbor to go and ask forgiveness before we enter the Father’s house, and in another place in Matthew are words telling us that we should ask forgiveness if our neighbor has anything against us.  Either way, we are commanded to reconcile before going into the Father’s house.  It’s like a father telling his kids to make up, no matter what the fight was about, or who was right or wrong.  That is what that banner tells me.

Peter’s sinking is not due to his not treating his neighbor right, but from choosing (with his free will) not to see the face of Jesus right in front of him.  And he begins to sink.  Earlier I wrote of how it seems Peter could not ignore the world around him, even as we can’t, but that word “intimidating” explains something he (and we) could do.  We could remember that banner.  There are troubles in the world, in our politics, in our state, and in our family, things in some way impacting us that are hard to ignore.  But we can choose to not be “intimidated” by them, to let those events outside of our control (like the waves around Peter) be a worry --- because it will cause us to take our eyes off the face of Jesus.  And we will begin to sink.

We can choose not to be irritated about politics or wars or even the behavior of some of our siblings especially if, unlike the STOP sign, it will have no immediate direct impact on us.  And in choosing not to be irritated by them, or talk about them to get others irritated about them, we CAN instead resolve to pray about them, because God can do something about them.  And in recalling the face of Jesus in each person, we can calm ourselves down.  Remember how much He suffered for us, each one.  Despite all that is happening, He is in control.  He is God.  Keep your eyes on God, and you won’t crash --- or sink.  Just trust in God.  I know that’s hard to do; that’s probably why they wrote those words as a reminder on one of our coins.    

Seeing With The Heart

 

It’s Holy Week, and I will spend more time with Jesus, to understand more what He did, and why.  It’s not just reading words about what He did but seeing it in my heart.  To know more what He did and why, is to know HIM more.

Last week, I had noticed in the chapel cupola these words encircling the ceiling: “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain.”  The word “slain” jumped out at me at first, because I knew that people died, even willingly, but someone who is slain died wrongly; some law has been broken.  Lambs are butchered, but that word wasn’t used either, because it would infer that Lamb of God to be just another animal.  He’s way more than that. 

Today, I noticed the word “Who”.  In my brain I had perceived “The lamb which was slain.”  A lamb is an animal, a thing which had something happen to it, but a “Who” is a person, not a thing. That phrase, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain”, which is written above the crucifix on the wall and the Sacred Host on the altar, now helps me see these two with a much deeper understanding --- in my heart. He chose to permit both those awesome events, an awesome God beyond understanding choosing to show His humility beyond understanding, dying and then remaining with us always.  I think the word “LOVE”, as beyond the understanding of Peter and the apostles, explains that humility.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

Reading the Gospels this Holy Week, and the reflections in The Better Part (by Fr. Bartunek), I’m also getting some “aha” moments.  Seeing new depth of meaning in the words of the Gospel helps me understand the events which happened better, like when Judas was at the Last Supper table.  In John 13 it says “At that instant, after Judas had taken the (dipped) bread, Satan entered him. … As soon as Judas had taken the piece of bread he went out.  Night had fallen.”  I thought I understood what that last sentence meant: it was evening, and time for the meal to continue and then for Jesus to head to the garden.  Fr. Bartunek wrote in his commentary, however, that Jesus is the Light of the World.  When Satan enters Judas, night had fallen; the light of Jesus had gone out of him.

These and other commentaries give me much to reflect on this Holy Week, about what happened, and why.  I’ll think about those things as I watch my three favorite Holy Week movies, and I take down my Christmas tree and decorations.  Soon it will be time to celebrate Jesus’ re-birth at Easter, seeing that miracle with my heart. 

Love Anyway

 

Sitting in the adoration chapel this Memorial Day afternoon, all is quiet.  It’s often in such times as this that my heart is touched.  Near me is a friend I see most days here, and also a long-time friend, now back from a winter nap in Florida.  We will have some catching up to do tomorrow.  But, before I go on, wait, a man dressed in a shirt of stars and “USA”  is at the door, holding a rosary and asking to be let in.  A former soldier here on Memorial Day to give thanks; how could I deny him entry.

But, the heart of this reflection is written, or should I say copied from, Fr. Bartunek’s book, The Better Part.  Reflecting on John 16:1-15 he wrote:

“God is a total unity of persons, a community of love, of self-giving.  Whatever one has, the others receive.  There is no holding back, no hidden agendas, no manipulation --- it’s absolute generosity and unlimited self-donation.  And just think, we are created in His image.  We are meant to interact with one another with that same generosity.  This was the new commandment that Christ gave us during the Last Supper, that we “love one another” as He as loved us, which to means to love as the Father has loved Him.  We can’t grasp completely the mystery of the Trinity, but we can enter into it by loving, and loving is better than grasping anyway. 

Through the enlightenment that comes at Pentecost, all will recognize that Jesus was not the sinner his accusers claimed Him to be; rather, their rejection of Him will be shown up as the sin of disbelief.”

And Fr. Bartunek concluded, “(Lord), I feel if every sentence, every phrase, You utter is overflowing with meaning that goes way beyond me.  Your words are a waterfall of light, and they dazzle me.  Dear Lord, take me by the hand and guide me.  Every day, help me to understand just a little bit more about You and Your Kingdom and how to follow You.  This is all I desire; this is all I hope for.  Teach me the way to go. … Help me to love others with Your Love.”

All these recent days’ Gospels are from John’s Last Supper discourse gospel, in which he creates a summary of all that Jesus has been teaching His apostles.  These are His final words before His crucifixion and death, and a summary of what He wanted the apostles to learn and do: “Love as I have loved you.”  In past blog posts I’ve written some thoughts on this matter, but Fr. Bartunek says it better than I ever could.  Love entails suffering in this life, but it brings you everlasting light in the next.  Don’t be angry or irritated at anything, Wait!  There is a reason for all suffering.  Continue to act with love, anyway. Especially in the little things, like stopping what you are doing to open the door for a humble veteran seeking to praise God.