A thought came to me this morning: Do my Protestant friends think I worship idols?
As I’ve grown in faith, I wouldn’t call my belief “faith” anymore. God has shown me so much --- not that I demanded it --- that my faith has become like that of Thomas, the apostle, whom the Risen Jesus told: “Put your finger here, and see my hands, and put out your hand, and place it in my side; do not be faithless, but believing.” Then, Thomas answered Him: “My Lord and my God’” And Thomas could no longer not believe. I feel that way. It’s not just faith; I know.
The morning Bible Study group today was on Matthew 26:26, the start of the Last Supper, where Jesus said “Take, eat; this is My body.” The Protestant group leader spoke how this was a symbol of Jesus’ coming death, and His blood and body separating. Then, in verse 31 we read how Jesus said “You will all fall away because of me this night.” The discussion leader asked: “Why DID they run away?” And after some discussion I couldn’t stop myself from interjecting my Catholic faith: “When Jesus said ‘This is My body’ --- which the apostles and the Catholic Church later came to understand and believe --- but at the Last Supper the apostles still didn’t understand who Jesus really was. They had seen His triumphant entry into Jerusalem, and all the crowds crying “Hosannah, King of David”. They still thought He’d be the conquering Messiah the Jews expected. When He said “This is My body,” they didn’t perceive the Spirit of God; they still didn’t know Jesus. When He was seized in the garden they ran, because their “conquering Messiah” was arrested. It was only after He arose from the dead that they began to really understand who He was, and Thomas was the first of them to say: “My Lord and my God.” And with the descent of the Holy Spirit, they all believed and understood, and would run no more. They went out preaching all He had taught them, which they now understood.” And then my Protestant Bible study friends quickly moved the discussion along. Later, I wondered: If they knew how strongly I believe that the bread is the Body of Jesus, as He said, and how I worship Him there each day at mass, and each night in the Adoration Chapel, would they think I worship idols?
My friends hadn’t ever heard of, much less seen, any Eucharistic miracles. Kind of like Thomas, they just can’t believe that could be true. They walk away from what Jesus said, despite 2000 years of Christian belief that they consecrated bread is the Body of Christ, as He said. I didn’t tell them of my experience the prior night, when “coincidences” happened that resulted in my having an extra consecrated host as I entered the Adoration Chapel to say my night prayers. As I prayed in front of the large Host in the beautiful golden monstrance, the chapel quickly emptied, and I found myself alone with Jesus. All day I had wondered and prayed “What do I do with the extra sacred host?” Alone in the chapel, I thought “well, when I finish my prayers I will consume the host, and thank Jesus, for whatever reason it seems He wanted to come to me with His Body again.
I noticed, then, that the vigil candle had gone out. One is always lit next to the altar, to indicate the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist there. Extra candles are usually in a box off to the side; but there was none. Then a woman I did not know entered the chapel. Before she could begin praying, I said: “I’m going to check around the church to find a vigil candle to replace that one, which burned out. I’ll be right back.” But she said: “Did you look in that small cabinet?” indicating the one where I knew only various prayer cards and bibles are kept, but I politely said: “I’ll check.” And in the cabinet, I was surprised to find a single new vigil candle, and the electronic candle lighter. So, I replaced the burned-out candle.
I knelt down again to complete my prayers, when my thoughts went back to the host in my pocket. I looked at Jesus on the altar and silently asked” “Lord, did you want me to give this little host I have, Your Body, to this woman?” I did not hear any reply. But, I have a faith and a trust that doesn’t need proof. I believe, so I asked myself: “What would He do?” I saw the woman deep in prayer, arms raised to Jesus on the altar, eyes closed. After a few minutes she stirred, and I felt compelled to ask aloud: “Excuse me; did you go to mass today?” She said “Yes, I did” and looked at me in a questioning way, so I explained. “I take communion to some homebound women, but today I ended up with an extra host. I guess I’ll consume it now. Sorry to have bothered you.” Then she smiled, and raising her hand to stop me said: “Yes, I went to mass, but no, I did not receive communion. I went to confession after mass.” And so, I asked “Would you like to receive now?” And with a big smile she said: “Oh, yes!”
How could I not believe that this is what Jesus meant for me to do? “My Lord and my God.”
I do not have to see to believe. I do not have to hear to believe. I do not have to understand to believe. All I have to do is let my spirit hear His; He is always speaking to me.
