Choose God or My Kids?

 

The Catholic radio show psychologist said that today’s kids are different than in the past.  Regardless of their upbringing, the culture exhibits a huge materialistic, selfish influence on them.  So, it’s been his experience that kids are quick to cut themselves off from their parents.  He suggested that if you ask you when your grandchild will be baptized and your child says “That’s not going to happen,” if you want to ensure a continued relationship with your kids and grandkids, you never bring the topic up again.

A Catholic psychologist says to ignore a lack of faith or even sin, if you want a relationship with your family?  I’m reminded of the TV cop show where they say “Ma’am, your son has killed 50 people; where is he?”  And the mother replies “I can’t tell you that.  He’s my son, and he’s really a good boy.”

At what point is it more important to keep a relationship open with someone and ignore their sin?  At what point are you enabling the sin, like going alone with the abusive sex from your spouse or saying nothing about all the empty beer cans of your alcoholic spouse?  At what point is it aiding and abetting the sin --- you are participating in the sin --- like not telling the cops where your killer son is, or letting your son and his latest girlfriend sleep together in your house when they come to visit you?

When do we feel compelled to accept their way of life, because they won’t accept ours?  They are important and we are not?  Is that what Jesus did when He ate with the tax collectors?  And, what did Jesus mean when He said if you want to follow me, you must leave behind your spouse and son and daughter?

And if we now say “But they’re too important to me,” how important will He value us at our final meeting?

I can understand how hard it is to give up on a child.  Jesus died for us sinners.  But His death, His love, opened up eternal happiness for us.  Living out His love was for our eternal happiness.  Is that what we are doing when we sacrifice our lives and beliefs for our children?  Is it for their eternal happiness, or to help facilitate their and (our happiness) now?  Is our not standing up for, witnessing, our faith likely to facilitate their thinking that even we don’t think faith is important --- acting as one further reason for them not to consider faith important?

I don’t have answers to these tough questions, and I don’t have children.  Yet, I do associate with many people who do not believe faith matters as I do.  To them I try to exhibit two things:  my faith is important to my life and I live it, and it gives me joy.  If something is mentioned contrary to my faith belief, I try to comment “here’s what I believe, and why it makes sense.”  And I find that many of these people want me around ---- and some have even changed their ways, with the help of the Holy Spirit.  I just tossed seeds.  For me, this way of relating to others does not harm my faith; I do not aid nor abet their sins, and they know I consider certain actions sins.  And I believe I am acting in love --- not acting to ensure they love me.  God’s commandments to love God and neighbor were about giving love, not making efforts to ensure we GET love.  That’s the selfish-ism so present in our culture.  I won’t be part of it, even if I end up on a cross.

Love Acts

As I walked past the crucifix on the wall, I paused: “You know that I love You,” I said aloud.  I’m not sure if I was trying to remind Him, or me; I’ve said that hundreds of times.  But, tonight, almost as spontaneously, I heard myself saying further: “And people who love one another are friends.”  That gave me pause, and I smiled as I felt yes, we are friends.  And then again, almost out of the blue I said aloud: “And friends do things together.”  And that caused me to sit down.

Now I stared at the crucifix and contemplated my own words --- or were they?  My initial thoughts were that perhaps God was telling me I need to cooperate on some future opportunity He will provide, to love my neighbor as He would.  More than ever in my life I try to be open to His will, yet mine still overrides His so often, despite my efforts.  I can say with Jesus a million times “not my will, but Thy will be done,” but I can’t stop myself from quickly doing what I think best, often to my own benefit, not His.  But still I prayed: “I want to do Your will.  Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.”

But after a while sitting in the quiet, I had other thoughts.  In the past few days and weeks, I have had many people in need cross my path.  Most were almost strangers, yet I did what seemed necessary, immediately.  Some I gave physical aid, to some financial, for some I prayed, one I helped up from the floor, and another I hugged.  And one I sat by the bedside as she lay dying.  Looking back, I had thought that those were opportunities God gave me to love my neighbor, and so I did.

After tonight’s thoughts about loving God, being friends with Him, and that “friends do things together,” I realized I was remembering things I did in recent days wrongly.  I remembered them as actions I did, but in truth they were actions WE did, together.  God isn’t just with us when we speak to Him in front of a crucifix, or at Sunday mass.  He is with us and with every person we meet, an opportunity to love our neighbor, together.  All we need do is act on that opportunity, even with a smile.

Do you love God?  Are you friends with Him?  What have you done together recently?  Thank Him.  If you can’t recall anything, then resolve to start.  “Well, Lord, what should we do today?” is a good morning prayer.

P.S.  The people crossing your path are probably not like mine.  I am long retired and live alone.  My helping hand is available because I have lots of free time.  Most people have other commitments or vocations to live out, perhaps a good opportunity for them is to just take the time to hug their kids.  But He has shown us He wants us to love our neighbor ---- not ourselves alone. And love is not hormones reacting in us, love is something willed for the good of the other, for they are children of God.  Love acts.