Choose God or My Kids?

 

The Catholic radio show psychologist said that today’s kids are different than in the past.  Regardless of their upbringing, the culture exhibits a huge materialistic, selfish influence on them.  So, it’s been his experience that kids are quick to cut themselves off from their parents.  He suggested that if you ask you when your grandchild will be baptized and your child says “That’s not going to happen,” if you want to ensure a continued relationship with your kids and grandkids, you never bring the topic up again.

A Catholic psychologist says to ignore a lack of faith or even sin, if you want a relationship with your family?  I’m reminded of the TV cop show where they say “Ma’am, your son has killed 50 people; where is he?”  And the mother replies “I can’t tell you that.  He’s my son, and he’s really a good boy.”

At what point is it more important to keep a relationship open with someone and ignore their sin?  At what point are you enabling the sin, like going alone with the abusive sex from your spouse or saying nothing about all the empty beer cans of your alcoholic spouse?  At what point is it aiding and abetting the sin --- you are participating in the sin --- like not telling the cops where your killer son is, or letting your son and his latest girlfriend sleep together in your house when they come to visit you?

When do we feel compelled to accept their way of life, because they won’t accept ours?  They are important and we are not?  Is that what Jesus did when He ate with the tax collectors?  And, what did Jesus mean when He said if you want to follow me, you must leave behind your spouse and son and daughter?

And if we now say “But they’re too important to me,” how important will He value us at our final meeting?

I can understand how hard it is to give up on a child.  Jesus died for us sinners.  But His death, His love, opened up eternal happiness for us.  Living out His love was for our eternal happiness.  Is that what we are doing when we sacrifice our lives and beliefs for our children?  Is it for their eternal happiness, or to help facilitate their and (our happiness) now?  Is our not standing up for, witnessing, our faith likely to facilitate their thinking that even we don’t think faith is important --- acting as one further reason for them not to consider faith important?

I don’t have answers to these tough questions, and I don’t have children.  Yet, I do associate with many people who do not believe faith matters as I do.  To them I try to exhibit two things:  my faith is important to my life and I live it, and it gives me joy.  If something is mentioned contrary to my faith belief, I try to comment “here’s what I believe, and why it makes sense.”  And I find that many of these people want me around ---- and some have even changed their ways, with the help of the Holy Spirit.  I just tossed seeds.  For me, this way of relating to others does not harm my faith; I do not aid nor abet their sins, and they know I consider certain actions sins.  And I believe I am acting in love --- not acting to ensure they love me.  God’s commandments to love God and neighbor were about giving love, not making efforts to ensure we GET love.  That’s the selfish-ism so present in our culture.  I won’t be part of it, even if I end up on a cross.