Real Trust

 

Last night I had one of those rare dreams, which I knew was God speaking to my soul, or vice versa.  I awoke and quickly jotted down some notes, so I wouldn’t forget.

I dreamt of an event which happened in the late 1990s.  I was chair of the Paint the Town (PTT) project, which painted and repaired homes of the elderly and low-income in Detroit (and which spread to 8 suburbs).  On the third Saturday of August that year, over 10,000 volunteers were scheduled to paint over 400 homes.  At that point, PTT was at its peak, and after 15 years it had never rained on that day --- only this year the forecast said otherwise.  I received lots of calls asking what day we’d re-schedule to, but I said “Wait, forecasts change.”  This one didn’t. 

As we picked up the rental trucks the day before, it was pouring rain.  My board members said “this is a waste of money.”  The forecast said there was a 95% chance of rain for the next day.  But, I reminded my friends of the huge sums of money already committed to that day.  While the thousands of gallons of paint and many supplies were donated --- the volunteers showed up only wearing the event shirts we bought and gave them --- still, we paid for extra police protection, ambulance availability, porta-johns, and over $10,000 in insurance for that one day; average people were going up on ladders, some over 3 stories tall.  The insurance was to protect myself and board members from lawsuits.  None of that money could be recovered, and we had little in the bank to buy more --- if the people and supplies and were available on another day.  “No,” I said.  “There is a 5% chance of no rain; we are doing God’s work; we need to trust in Him.”  Back at the office I saw the large number of calls I had received, and I put that message on my answering machine and didn’t answer my phone the rest of the day.

The day of the event there were dark clouds in all directions, except up, where it was blue sky and sun.  To everyone’s surprise, not a drop fell, and all the homes got painted.  And rains began after about 10PM that night, after all the paint had dried.  “It was a miracle,” many people said, and thanked me for not trying to re-schedule the PTT event.

I dreamt about those events last night.  This morning, I had a Bible Study class.  We were reflecting on tomorrow’s Gospel, the end of the Gospel of St. John, where Jesus appears and tells the doubting Thomas to “put your hands in My side.”  We looked at that Gospel from many sides, and its many messages.  I think in the end we understood that Gospel better, and perhaps understood our lives a little better also.  It was then that I recalled my vivid dream, and related it to the men.  There was a jump to “that’s the kind of trust we need to have,” but I found myself disagreeing.  “No, that was trusting when I could see no other alternative.  Trusting in Jesus was a last resort.  That’s not the kind of trust we need; that’s the kind Thomas initially had.”  I realized that back then I had a foundation of trust, so I could voice it, but I still had a lot of lessons to learn.

If it had rained that day, ruined and wasted the work of thousands of volunteers, and perhaps ended the PTT project from ever occurring again --- and people laughed at me.  If THEN I trusted in God’s love, that would have been trust. 

Praying to God and getting the things we want is not a prayer of trust.  “Not my will, but Thy will be done,” is a prayer of trust.  We need to sincerely pray that prayer, especially when thing seem their darkest.  We need to grow in trust of God, to trust in Him, ALWAYS --- as if He REALLY WERE GOD.

Tomorrow is Divine Mercy Sunday.  That Divine Mercy prayer ends with: “Jesus, I trust in You.”

 

A Forgiven Killer

 

In a recent conversation, I was led to recall an incident I had read of in the paper, about a killer who was forgiven by the parents of the person killed.  The reason it made the paper was that, not only did the parents forgive the killer, but the entire Amish community, which felt it lost a beloved son, forgave the killer.  He was invited to an Amish service, where all could express their forgiveness to the killer.  It was such a remarkable event that it made the national newspapers.

Tonight, as I knelt in church after receiving communion, out of the blue I suddenly recalled the incident of the forgiven killer, and I also realized that I too am a forgiven killer.  Jesus, who died because of my sins, forgave me and now willingly comes to be with me.  He forgave my sin which resulted in His death, and not only a church community but God Himself (!!) forgives me.

There are no headlines big enough to scream how remarkable, how remarkably loving and forgiving, our God is.  And I can’t thank Him enough.

God Blesses America --- Today

 

Today is the feast day of St. Thomas, the Apostle.  I’ve written before about how in my youth I didn’t acknowledge him as my namesake, because he doubted.  He had to see to believe.  And I also wrote before how in Medjugorje my eyes were opened, and I gave my life to God.  But when others were seeing miracles there, I --- thinking of St. Thomas --- prayed that I see no miracles, yet believe.  I want to trust, totally.  That was and is my prayer (although God has shown me many miracles).

At today’s mass, the priest emphasized the words of Jesus: “Happy are those who have not seen and yet believe (Jn20).”  The priest, however, said it was a good thing that Thomas doubted (like him, we all have doubts about something) because Thomas’ doubting gave Jesus the opportunity to say and emphasize the words about the importance of faith, believing without seeing.  Jesus came to show, without a doubt, Thomas and the world many things.  He showed us the reason for our earthly life: to gain life eternal.  A happy life eternal.  Thomas’ doubting gave opportunity for Jesus to emphasize: have faith.  My men’s Bible Study group yesterday talked about Matthew 6, which tells how to pray the Our Father prayer.  It talks about Him forgiving us as we forgive others.  We set the standard for His forgiveness of us.  The men spoke of opportunities we have (or should seek) to forgive others, and by our actions show love to the God within them.  Forgiveness does not approve of bad actions, but loves the child God created, whom He always loves.  Forgiveness trusts there is Good in everyone.

This is Independence Day weekend.  We sang God Bless America at the end of mass today, but it’s rarely sung these days.  Kids don’t sing it at school, nor the National Anthem, or recite the Pledge of Allegiance.  I visited a major store in my town this week and found NO evidence of Independence Day --- no cards, no flags, no mention.  Statues of our founders are being torn down because our kids are taught NOT to forgive them for bad things they did, and not remember the good.  God is not taught in our schools, either.  Different things are now taught as “good” to our kids, including those things our soldier forefathers died for to protect us from. How did we let this happen?

I see many positive things, in Church groups, in young people’s groups and in God’s many other blessings on our country.  I pray for His mercy with all my prayers.  Yet, as the Bible Study group, and the Our Father, pointed out, we have to act.  We’ve let schools and government bodies act in our behalf, and not been aware that they were only acting in their behalf.  And our children are taught to be selfish and only worry about themselves or their group.  And they are taught not to love our country, and that it is NOT “one nation under God.”  If no one tells them differently, how are they to know the truth?

God blesses America, today, in many ways.  One is that we still can act to do good, and have faith in Him --- for now.  We’ve gotten too concerned with the material blessings we received, saying we want our kids to have a better life than we had (materially) and took our eye off of loving others.  How can we reach out to spread His love?  First and most importantly, we can have faith as Thomas learned, by improving our prayer life: “Jesus, You blessed me with this day, what can we do together?” Trust in Him to show us.  There are lots of opportunities: charities for the poor, the lonely, and the forgotten, so we can personally show them our love, and see their smile.  We can promote God’s teaching, outside abortion clinics or by attending classes to renew the faith in us and our children.  And we can join school boards or city/township boards, or at least attend their meetings, and help prevent selfish teachings, and to bring God’s presence.  Or even just write letters to the editor of papers.

God blesses America today, where we act as instruments of His peace, and His love.

I trust in Him, and pray for His mercy on us.