What Does It All Mean?

 

As I left the men’s prayer breakfast meeting early this morning, the Eastern sky was ablaze with beauty, and I gasped as I saw the awesomeness of God.  And then I thought: the God who created this awesome magnificence is actually way, way greater than this.  His beauty is such that I can’t even begin to imagine.

And then I came down to earth; and I thought: He chose to become a little, poor and homeless baby here on earth.  And despite being an eternal life, He chose to die, and suffer greatly, in His human life.  From all that magnificence to all that, well, that nothingness, and I asked myself: Why?  I know all the faith-filled answers to that question, but head knowledge and heart knowledge are two different ways of “knowing”, as I recently discussed.

Yesterday, I participated in a Dr. Lilles-led class discussion of the book: I Want to See God.  The title of that book mirrors what I just wrote about, what I want versus the awesomeness of God. We were in the chapters on Supernatural Wisdom, and Mystical Life and Contemplation.  The book walks you through St. Theresa of Avila’s Interion Mansions, and St. John of the Cross’ Mountain of Spiritual Growth.  We are not even halfway along these paths in the book and yet we have come to a point of awareness that, like the awesomeness of the sunrise, further growth in closeness to God is not something we are in control of (regardless of what “I Want”).  “Letting go and let God” seems to apply, because He does want us to draw closer, and wants to make it happen.  That “letting go”, however, is hard for most people, who of course ask: why?  We want to understand, with our pea brains, everything.  But God and the reason for His actions are beyond our human understanding.  I am aware of the concept of “agape” love, a total self-giving love, of all I am and have, to God and neighbor. The Bible uses that word to describe the love that Jesus had.  That love does not put “self” as a priority.  Understanding that concept versus living it, however, are somethings hard to understand themselves.  Needless to say any further, these class discussions are very awesome in their own way.

And it was after I had all these above thoughts that I began to read my Morning Prayer, which started with the Opening Hymn:

When morning fills the sky,
Our hearts awaking cry:
May Jesus Christ be praised.
In all our works and prayer
His sacrifice we share;
May Jesus Christ be praised.
The night becomes as day,
When from our hearts we say:
May Jesus Christ be praised.
The powers of darkness fear
When this glad song they hear:
May Jesus Christ be praised.

In heav’n our joy will be
To sing eternally:
May Jesus Christ be praised.
Let earth and sea and sky
From depth to height reply:
May Jesus Christ be praised,
Let all the earth now sing
To our eternal King:
May Jesus Christ be praised.
By this eternal song,
Through ages all along,
May Jesus Christ be praised.

 

And only a short while later I read perhaps an answer to my “why.”

Jesus was to die … to gather God’s scattered children into one fold.
(John 11:51,52)

 

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And as I write this at noon, it is pouring rain outside.  Did God, in His love for me, show me that sunrise?  Who knows; His ways are awesome.

 

Holy Week Plans

 

I fell out of bed this morning while reaching for the alarm.  I bruised my arm against the nightstand, and thanked God it wasn’t worse.  It could have been my head.  And then I had thoughts about why that happened, and I recalled a Bible Study I participated in this week which asked “why” concerning actions Jesus did or said.  That question, or rather its answer, gave deep meaning to the Gospels.

As I readied to go to mass this morning, I recalled that next week is Palm Sunday, then Holy Week, the week of Christ’s Passion, and then the Resurrection on Easter Sunday in 2 weeks.  I recalled the three movies I watch during Holy Week, and how I saw them related to Jesus’ Passion, and then I suddenly thought: Why?  And I recalled the movie themes, and specific scenes, which answer that question about what Jesus did, and what those themes and scenes should trigger us to do.

I think in recent years I have just watched those movies, not letting the depth of meaning pierce my soul.  Perhaps this year should be different.  I could easily come up with some thought-provoking summaries and questions about each movie.  But who would I watch these movies with and discuss their meanings?  Hmmmm.  I wonder if the adoration chapel is available on Holy Saturday.

The Passion, Saving Private Ryan, I Am David.

Failed Lenten Resolutions

In failing to keep my Lenten resolutions (already) and resolving to do better, I think I’ve come to realize that in making those resolutions I only understood with simplicity matters which were much more complex.

I had resolved two simple P’s: to have more Patience and Perseverance. I thought that I was referring to MY actions. Irritation would be a sign to me that I had failed, and I’ve often seen and felt that emotion. Today, however, I’ve seen reminders that it is not that simple, because I am not alone in this world, and my actions affect others, AND God is here with us, too.

My awakening started simple, as I read how the rich man wanted to lead a more perfect spiritual life, and asked Jesus: “What more can I do? (Mt14:22)” (That’s kind of what I thought when I made my Lenten resolutions.)  But then I read “the young man … went away sorrowful, for he had many possessions.”  Oh, that P. Then I read the Gospel and how Jesus’ hometown wanted toss Him off a cliff because He wasn’t a Messiah like they expected (Lk4:22-30). In Pride, they were sure they knew God’s plans.

In my daily prayers I now always pray for the Poor souls in Purgatory, and (especially now) for world Peace. And most importantly, I always Praise God.

I think I can now summarize all these “P”s that I became aware of by first noting that I am not in control, of my person or my possessions; they are all gifts from God.  There are things that I can resolve to do (with God’s help) with these gifts, and to be more who I was created to be, but there are other things which only God can do,   

Prayer is the unifying factor, because it is God who makes all these things possible, not me. While I will pray for His grace to grow in the virtues of Patience and Perseverance, I will also pray for His grace to grow in humility, reducing my Pride.  I will pray to God that He bring about world Peace, and has mercy on the poor souls in Purgatory.

And in all these prayers, I will I begin with Praise to God, for His always loving us --- even me --- and for His never-ending mercy, which Jesus died for.

Which reminds me, while I reflected on all these “P”s and who could do what, It Is Lent. It was His Passion which makes all these things even possible.  It is good to reflect on how I am not in control of my life --- except for these brief moments before eternity, an eternity where He waits.

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Just an ‘oh by the way’.  My last posting spoke of my totally blocked ear.  While I prayed in front of a statue of St. Joseph, it popped open.  Doctors are still running tests, and I am testing hearing aids. And God is still in control.