Are You Listening

Friday’s mass struck me.  It began with the opening hymn words:

“Here I am, Lord, is it I Lord? 
I have heard You calling in the night …”

The first reading was Acts9:1-20, where Saul is going to Damascus to arrest Christians, until he was struck to the ground and blinded, and he spoke to the bright light before him: “Who are you, sir?”  Needless to say, like the opening hymn, Saul heard the Lord calling --- but in a way that he could not rationalize away.  This was real.  This was God, calling to him. 

Perhaps we need stop here and ask, very seriously ask, of ourselves:  Do I need to be struck blind to listen to God?  No, even that perspective is worded wrong; we need to stop always asking ourselves what to do but ask God.

The Gospel reading at mass was from John6:52-59, where Jesus says: “whoever eats my Flesh and drinks my Blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”  There was a substitute priest at mass, and as he spoke his sermon, he said: “It gives me great consolation that at 88, I became who Jesus wanted me to be.  I often act as a marriage counselor, and I tell couples no one is perfect, but Jesus in our life can transform us.  My prayer is to help me read the signs you have given me.”  Prayer came first for him, before counseling anyone.

And, as we received the Eucharist, His Flesh and Blood, the choir sang: “Open my eyes, Lord, help me to see your face.  Open my ears, Lord, help me to hear your word.”

A Bible study group I participate in is considering a change in focus or format, and we’re praying about it.  Last week we listened to Fr. John Riccardo’s interview on the Lila Rose show about 2 months ago, when he spoke about “how to hear God’s word in your life.”  And I recently received copies of Bishop Robert Barron’s new book: What do their Lives Demand, about Christian persecution today.  Both Fr Riccardo and Bishop Barron said: Start with prayer and then listen.

All these events seem to be saying the same thing: Are you listening?

I spent most of my early years “doing what is right”, as I believed it to be.  I cared for my neighbor as commanded --- if it weren’t too inconvenient.  But in living those years well, I did not often ask, sincerely: What is Your will, Lord?  If those were good years, oh, oh, how much smore wonderful they could have been.

There was a young woman once, who also did what she knew was right and commanded by God.  Her whole life was planned out before her.  All would be as she wanted --- and then:

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear him 
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he has remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children forever.

 --- The Magnificat

 

 

The New Evangelization

Only this I want,
But to know the Lord,
And to bear His cross,
So to wear the crown He wore.

Those words of this morning’s hymn echoed in my heart.  Later, as the mass ended, adoration began.  I looked up at the large monstrance and host which now had been placed on the altar, and even as that hymn played on in my heart I felt: “I will be with you always, even to the end of time.”  Those words often come to me while in adoration.  He is here for me; the God of the universe waits for me.  I so want to know Him more.

Today on the radio the host and guest were discussing the history of the term “The New Evangelization,” and said how at Baptism we are all called to evangelize our faith.  “Be a witness,” they said, “not a preacher.”

In recent days I lived examples of witness of my faith, but it was not something I set out to do, to “go and evangelize.”  No, one way I found myself witnessing was when I responded in a positive way to someone asking me for help.  So, recently a friend asked me to find her a good priest, because “I have a question,” and I did.  Another time a young girl in the adoration chapel stared at my old prayer book, and I offered it to her.  And yesterday my parish pastor was on a Catholic radio fundraising program, and when donations were sparse, he made a significant donation, which triggered my heart (and perhaps pride) to call in to double his donation.  I felt these three occasions were requests for my help, and by answering them I was evangelizing, living out the love my faith calls for.

But not all evangelizing/witnessing is asked for.  Recently, I voluntarily changed my plans when: I perceived someone else’s need, and when I helped my Bible Study group, and then when casually walking into church next to someone who asked: “how are you doing?” --- and I cut my answer short to ask her the same, and found out how desperately she needed prayer.  By my being aware of others’ needs and responding in a loving way, I was evangelizing, without being asked.  Evangelizing, witnessing in a loving way, is when you stop putting yourself first, and love your neighbor, whether they ask for it or not.

And then there is a witnessing to God, who we are also called to love.  On Divine Mercy Sunday a local church was having a 3PM Holy Hour.  I went to that church’s adoration chapel to pray before the Holy Hour, intending to follow the priest when he moves the monstrance and host into the church, and there join my friends in worship.  Only for some reason that monstrance and host were not moved to the church, and at the 3 o’clock hour I found myself alone in the chapel, with Jesus.  I recalled “I will be with you always,” and began to pray aloud, and talking to Jesus.  No one else came in, and I prayed a rosary prayer and then, as I said the final Amen, I heard the chapel door open, so I went quiet.  Looking at my watch, it was 4PM.  Jesus was there waiting for me in the chapel that afternoon, and my witness was to Him: “I will not leave You alone.”

Whether asked to help, or “nudged” to help, these were acts of Christian love I lived out.  That is “a new evangelization.”  I preached nothing with words.

 

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In the last couple of days, I have experienced some unusual electronic problems.  As I was turning off my WIFI device, the screen froze, and I could do absolutely nothing, not even turn the device off.  I ended up pulling out the battery, then re-inserting it, and the problem stopped.  Similarly, I was trying to access the text messages on my phone when it froze up.  Again, nothing worked, no matter what I tried, including turning the phone off.  So, I pulled the battery out of that device also, and then put it back in, and things were back to normal.  Nothing like that has ever happened before, to either of those devices.  Reflecting on the events, perhaps what I experienced was kind of a parable of the new evangelization:  the old way doesn’t work anymore. You need to start again.  Evangelize with loving actions, and perhaps the culture will respond as the Roman historian did when seeing the early Christians so long ago:  “see how they love one another.”

 

The War of Life vs Death

Holy Thursday night, and I stayed up with Jesus; this was the night of His total self-giving, and bearing the mockery that was heaped Him for doing so --- alone.  And He did it for me.  I would be up with Him. This night I read the Gospel of John’s version of the Passion, and Fr. Bartunek’s commentary, and watched the movie Saving Private Ryan, which is about the efforts of the man who gave his life to save him.

When John’s Gospel speaks of Peter’s three denials of Jesus (Jn 18:12-27), the Gospel commentary I read imagines Peter’s later thoughts: 

“For the first time I discovered that someone loved me … simply because I was me.  I thought I could earn the love He showed me … How wrong I was!  Who can earn honor from God?  The most reliable lesson of all: when I am weak, then I am strong, because I have to lean on the strength of the Lord.”

“Why am I afraid of failing, Lord?  You failed in the eyes of the world.  Peter failed.  Can my successes increase Your love for me?  Can my failures decrease it?  The only reason I fear failure is because I value my own achievements too much.  O Lord, what good are my achievements if they flow from fear and not from love?  Teach me to love, Lord, to love from Your love.”

In Saving Private Ryan are many examples of soldiers giving their lives for our country --- and of calling upon God as they lay dying.  The key storyline is about a man who went into grave danger and finally gave his life so that Private Ryan might live.  And at the end of the movie we see an old Mr. Ryan, standing in front of the gravestone of the man who gave his life for the then young Private Ryan.  And in tears he asks: “Did I earn your sacrifice?  Did I lead a good life?”

Those words remind us of the man, Jesus, who gave his life for us.  They are words we need to ask of Him and consider: “Did I learn to love, from Your love of me?”

These days are days to talk to Jesus about what He did, and why.  And also talk about what we are doing.  And if we can’t hear His voice, talk to our fellow soldiers, who are fighting this scary war we are in.  We are not alone, and we don’t want to wait until we are dying until we call our to Him.