A Time to Pray

 I awoke early this Sunday morning, and thanked God for all the blessings He has bestowed on me: health, security, friends, and blessings on those wonderful people He brings into my life.  I came downstairs and said my simple prayers each morning, thanking God for the day and for friends, and I glanced at My Imitation of Christ, which lays on my coffee table.  I don’t often read that book, but today I opened it, and on the page I opened to I had these words underlined:

Show us, O Lord, Thy Mercy.

… grieve for thy daily offenses:

So prone to relaxation and the pleasures of the flesh,

So curious to hear news, and see fine sights, and 

So inconsiderate in speech, so little able to hold thy peace,

So hasty for rest, so slow to labor,

So negligent in saying Thy office,

So easily moved to anger, so apt to take offense at others,

So prone to judge

So joyful in prosperity, so weak in adversity,

So often proposing many good things, and effecting little,

Having confessed… make strong resolution to amend thy life and to advance in virtue … committing faithfully to Me both thy soul and body.

If a man does what lies in him, and is truly penitent, as often as he shall come to Me for pardon and grace, “As I live, saith the Lord, I desire not the death of the sinner, but that he should be converted from his way and live.” (Ezech. XXXIII.II; Ezech. XVIII.22)  but all shall be forgiven him.

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And then I noticed the two bookmarks I had in that small book.  

The first had these words:

“God, grand me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.”

The second bookmark seemed to follow on it.  It was titled: The Difference

“I got up early one morning

and rushed right into the day.

I had so much to accomplish

that I didn’t have time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me

and heavier came each task.

“Why doesn’t God help me?” I wondered.

He answered: “You didn’t ask.”

I wanted to see joy and beauty,

but the day toiled on, gray and bleak.

I wondered why God didn’t show me

He said: “But you didn’t seek.”

I tried to come into God’s presence;

I tried all my keys in the lock.

God gently and lovingly chided me,

“My child, you didn’t knock.”

I woke up early this morning,

and paused before entering the day.

I had so much to accomplish

that I had to take time to pray.”

The Conversion of Paul

 I belong to a group called Apostoliae Viae, the Apostles of the Way.  At the first reading this morning at mass, I heard the followers of Jesus being described as those following The Way.  That caught my attention.  Those of The Way were following Him, seeking to know who He really is, and to grow to be like Him.  That is what members of Apostoliae Viae do.  Apostoliae Viae is one of the ministries under the Avila Institute, which includes SpiritualDirection.com, which exists to help people discern God’s calling for them, to help them be who they were created to be.

This morning was the Feast Day of The Conversion of St. Paul, the Apostle (perhaps misnamed, since it is really the conversion of Saul).  Regardless, at mass the Monsignor spoke of the Virtue of Docility (which I didn’t even know WAS a virtue!)  He defined docility as the ability to receive, to become, to grow deeper with God’s grace.  He said docility was the capability to be taught (I guess that also means you aren’t so focused on YOUR WAY that you close your ears to any other).  This so much sounds like my recent reflections on what it means to be a disciple, to BECOME like the innermost being of the teacher.

Saul’s small crack of docility allowed God’s grace to heal him from who he had chosen to be.  The work of the virtue of docility is to learn, to receive, and then let that enable us to change.  Learn who we are, to let God’s grace work in us.  We can enter into God’s grace if we are docile, and we can change.  Look what happened to St. Paul when he changed.

And then I turned from the monsignor speaking and looked at the large crucifix hanging over the altar, and there on the wall behind it I read the words: I THIRST FOR YOU.

Those words mean more to me each day.  It’s why He wants us to change.

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Adam and Eve chose the apple, choosing not to be as God created them to be.  They didn’t trust Him anymore, and were sent out of Eden.  We’ve been trying to re-build that relationship ever since, and we’ve failed.  So, God sent His Son.

At mass this morning, after the elevation of the Body and Blood of Jesus, we sang a short hymn, ending with the words “for by Your cross and resurrection, You have set us free.”  And I thought of the Rescue Project now being run at a local parish.  Jesus rescued mankind from all its original sin deserved, if only we would choose once more to be like Him.

He has set us free, because He thirsts for us. 

Who Are You?

Saturday, at morning mass, the Monsignor read from one of the daily Christian meditation magazines (I forgot which).  He read: We cannot find/embrace Jesus without finding Him in the Trinity, without finding Him in humanity.  He said that was a quote from a well-known scholar, Erasmo Leiva-Merikakis.  As he quoted the words, my mind recalled some recent readings of mine which had taught me a new lesson unity of being, and now God seemed to be repeating that lesson to me, so I’d “get it.”  But when the monsignor noted the author of that quote, I REALLY “got it.”

A book has been sitting on my bookshelf for many months.  It is a very thick book, about 900 pages, written by the man the monsignor had quoted.  The book is titled Fire of Mercy, Heart of the Word. It is the 4th and final book in a series of meditations on the Gospel according to Saint Matthew.  The first three books went very deep into what St. Matthew and the people he was writing for thought, and how they thought and acted in the time and culture of Jesus.  It is not nearly as simple as you might hear in any sermon.  Going word by word, Leiva-Merikakis doesn’t just interpret the original gospel, or even just interpret the original Greek language which he uses for his meditations, but he puts the Greek words, phrase by phrase into the culture of the time they were written.  Leiva-Merikakis takes you back to that time, and you understand and feel as the original hearers of those words did.  This final book starts with Matthew 26: 1-5, the start of the plot to kill Jesus.  The reason this book has sat on my bookshelf is that it is on the Passion and death of Jesus.  In a way, I fear reading this book and not just knowing, but FEELING the death of Jesus and all that He and His followers went through, intimately, in my very being.  

Various other books I have been reading lately have shown me something I never before knew about Jesus, and the Jewish faith He was born into.  Back then, there was no word “religion” to describe the Jewish faith or any other faith.  The word Jewish was a word which told you how those people lived.  They went to Temple, had those feasts, etc., etc..  Looking at what they did, you described how they lived as being Jewish.  That’s why when the followers of Jesus, most of them Jews in the start, started doing some different things it bothered the Jewish people --- the followers of Jesus were not living like Jews do.  And at a certain point the Jews described this growing group of people as Christians, followers of Christ.  It was because they lived that way.  There was a recent song titled “You’ll know they are Christians by their love.”  That is how you knew any “religion” in the time of Jesus.  You described people by how they lived and acted.  Christians acted with love.  (I wonder if a stranger today, looking at how we live and act, would know we are Christians.) 

Other recent books/reflections I have recently read describe in more detail that “knowing” possessed by faith and faith-filled people.  It is not just a simple set of rules, like a catechism.  So, Jesus became human, in part, to show humans how they were created to live.  His disciples followed Him to hear His words yes, but also to see and feel how He lived.  A disciple wasn’t like a student who memorized words from a textbook, they absorbed who the teacher was.  In part, that was why Jesus was with them for three years.  And even then, it didn’t all come together until the Holy Spirit came down upon them.  His disciples were created in the Image of God, to live and after a period of time of watching and listening to Jesus, to make who He was part of “who they were.”  

You have make Christianity your very being, how you live, growing in love of God and neighbor.

Leiva-Merikakis: 

We cannot find/embrace Jesus without finding Him in the Trinity, without finding Him in humanity.

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I was driving in rural areas past some old farmhouses, and I saw one which had some gravestones nearby.  I recalled that used to be the normal way of life and death in this country, people and families living near each other, and graves at a common family site or next to their common church.  Living in community enabled people to absorb the family way of life, which for Christians usually meant living, eating, and praying together.  That’s why the Eucharist is called communion, the food that brings us together.

I’m saddened when I see families break the family unity.  They don’t see the total-ness of being they are destroying.  The ones who break away often justify their action by saying: “but that is who I am.”  

I wonder if Adam and Eve, still in the Garden of Eden today, would they describe the reason to choose the eating of the apple as being: “but that is who I am.”  They are different from the people God created them to be, in His image.  Maybe they should use those words, because in their very being they went from beings who loved and trusted in God in all things, to ones who didn’t trust Him anymore.  And human beings, now on earth, have been trying to rebuild that original level of trust ever since, that level of BEING.

My Catholic faith and family is focused on bringing back that union; to once more be one with Him and His family, becoming one in being with Him.  

So, is that who you are?

As We Forgive

At mass this morning, as I prayed the Our Father prayer Jesus taught us, I had a sudden flashback.  “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  It struck me how extremely important it is that we forgive others and reminded me of some recent incidents in my life.  I had always taken those prayer words as a reminder to not hang onto memories of people who treated me wrongly.  Forgive them overtly, call or write them a letter, or at least forgive and forget.  I’ve done both in recent years, whether to a boss, a family member, or a friend.  What struck me this morning though, was some recent incidents with total strangers, who did something I thought they shouldn’t.  

Those people triggered my anger response.  Being upset at their “not doing things my way” is part of the culture we live in, and I’m no saint.  It’s all people want to talk about, whether politics or religion or work, pointing to “Look what they did.”  This conversation focus, however, is the total opposite of what Jesus lived and taught, to love your neighbor --- no exceptions, no focus on their sins.  That’s why He ate with sinners, not because He approved of what they’d done, as the Pharisees implied, but to show them what Christian love is.  He came among sinners so that they might become ex-sinners.  “Go and sin no more” was a line He often said or inspired in the hearts of those who knew Him.  And He showed us how important that was when He said to pray to Our Father and to forgive us, just as we do our neighbors --- including the politicians, the church leaders, or our co-workers.  

Or even total strangers.

A couple of days ago I had an incident where someone delayed me in traffic.  They were in front of me in a right turn lane, and when the right turn green arrow lit up, they didn’t proceed.  Today, the Our Father prayer at mass caused me to reflect on their and my reactions, and I recalled that my anger caused them to anger; my sin caused them to sin.  Later I resolved to try and pray for people like that in the future and not get angry.

I’m sure that type of incident has happened to me before, people delaying me at a turn signal, but I think God tested my resolve yesterday, or as a blessing gave me an opportunity to show love of my neighbor.  Yesterday, at that very same intersection and right turn lane, there again was a car in front of me and one behind me.  The green turn arrow lit up, and the car in front of me did not move.  My hand went to the horn instinctively, but I stopped myself from pressing it.  And I did say a quick prayer for the driver in front of me.  And the car behind me didn’t beep either.  Then, the green light went on.  Again, I waited, but nothing happened, then the car in front of me put on its emergency flashers.  It had an engine problem.  I did feel more flustered, but I flicked on my LEFT turn signal to tell the car behind me that we’d have to go around the one stopped in front.  And I began looking at passing traffic to see when I could merge, when out of the corner of my eye I saw the car in front of me go forward and turn.  I followed, and shortly after I saw its emergency flashers go off.

 I said another short prayer of thanks for that driver --- and for myself.  It was a lesson I hope I learned and will remember.  In church as I prayed the Our Father prayer today, my mind flashed back to those incidents of my forgiveness and lack thereof.  It was a reminder that even those little events can have eternal impacts.  And we pray that it is so.

Blind, But Now Seeing

 A blind friend says that since he became blind, he sees things better than ever before.  I can understand that.  His mind is no longer set on visible distractions, which often tempt us to see, to get, or to do things for selfish reasons.  It’s the reason for all advertisements.  Without those visual distractions, my friend has become more aware of physical things he might not have perceived were he distracted.  He can hear intention in people’s voices, smell and touch in ways he never felt before.  And he is aware of God’s spiritual presence as he never had been before.  And he is one of the happiest people I know.

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As I drove home from the chapel yesterday, I noticed the small cemetery sign stating: Established in 1826.  Next year will be 200 years since that cemetery’s start.  The few tombstones I can see from the road are small and not upright, and they sit among a group of large trees.  And surrounding those trees on three sides are large houses, or “estates.”  I suspect that cemetery is rarely visited but as I pass it I pray for the souls buried there, as I now do when passing any cemetery.

    Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.        And may they rest in peace.

Next year, 2026, will be the 250th anniversary of our country’s founding.  Fifty years after that founding in 1776, this cemetery which I pass most days was founded.  It’s likely that some of the people buried there were alive when our war for independence was fought.  They may have had relatives who died in those battles.  They were among the early “Go West” settlers.  And no one remembers their names.

I think when springtime comes, I will park at a nearby church and walk to that cemetery, and look at those tombstones, and open my eyes to and pray for these forgotten ancestors.

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After the men’s breakfast group meeting early this morning, I walked to a back area of the church basement where a dozen or so men pray the rosary each week.  As I walked, I passed an area where there were a few Christmas trees decorated with small white lights.  In front of those trees was a small white bench, which could seat a couple of people.  It seemed unusual, but then I thought: What a great idea!  Not just decorations you pass by and forget, but a spot to sit down, and take some time to reflect.  You wouldn’t be reflecting on the beauty of those trees, they were pretty common, but you could reflect on the spiritual meaning of those trees.  Christmas, our Savior is born.  God is with us.  That is much to close your eyes and dwell upon.  It’s something not done often enough, I think, but here is a very nice bench to sit down, close your eyes, and do so:  Our God is with us.

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The rosary said by the small group of men this morning is a wonderful prayer time.  It is serious prayer, said softly, with intention you can perceive as you pray together, most of the men with their eyes closed.  There is a smattering of conversation before and after the rosary, but the men don’t walk out of their way to just chit-chat here.

It was after that rosary time, however, that I had another spiritual experience.  Walking down the hall alone, a man came up to me and stopped me.  “I want to thank you for that book you gave me, My Other Self.  It has made a huge difference in my prayer time, and that of my wife who loves it also.  Thank you so very, very much.”  I don’t recall my response, but I felt a bit struck by his words, because I didn’t know the man or when I gave him the book.  I guess it was the week when I brought some for my men’s breakfast group table, but I may have had a couple left over and maybe offered them to that rosary group, and he, not a regular attendee, was there.  

I had planned to give that book to men at the breakfast group because some ha said they had little personal relationship with Jesus.  I thought that book might help, and one man said it did.  That was MY plan for those books.  But, as I heard this morning, it seems Jesus had other plans for at least one of those books, and not surprisingly, His plan yielded much better fruit than mine

I didn’t have to see a deep thank you on that man’s face after the rosary this morning.  I heard it in his voice, and felt his spirit speaking loudly.