Is Love A Chore?

 

While praying the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary, thoughts came to me about love.

Love as Jesus exampled it, I now know, is a total giving of self.  Jesus lived for the Father, and for us.  He lived out His command to us to love God and love neighbor as He does.  We are to love in imitation of Him, and as with any commandment, or any purely human law for that matter, we are to TRY TO OBEY it.  And we know that isn’t always easy.  But when it is hard, it becomes a matter of the will.  We can will to love that beggar, or to stay within the speed limit when you’re the only one doing so.  Deliberate acts of the will sometimes are against our nature.  We don’t want to do that.  I guess that explains the term willpower.  It takes power, deliberate effort, to love as Jesus defined it, not doing everything for myself, but instead giving of myself.  Love seems to be a chore we were commanded to do, and so we often make excuses so we can still somehow favor ourself in that love. 

I read an article earlier today in the latest issue of Our Sunday Visitor magazine titled: The Answer is a Mystery.  It references a talk given in 2012 by now Pope Leo XIV.  Then Fr. Robert Prevost was addressing a gathering of bishops.

“In order to combat successfully the dominance of the mass media over popular religious and moral imaginations, it is not sufficient for the Church to own its own television media or to sponsor religious films.  The proper mission of the Church is to introduce people to the nature of mystery as an antidote to spectacle, … The Church should resist the temptation to believe that it can compete with mass media by turning the sacred liturgy (the mass) into spectacle. … Evangelization in the modern world must find the appropriate means for redirecting public attention away from spectacle into mystery.

Spectacle seeks to overawe us, to entertain and please us, to stimulate emotions. … Mystery, however, is more often found in silent meditation, in careful appreciation and in a deeper understanding based on truth, whether revealed or deeply written on the soul.  Mystery does not aim to please the crowd or the individual.  In mystery, the focus is not on me, but on the other.”

Ah, and that was a pre-thought to these Glorious Mysteries I am now praying.  It has dawned on me that love may indeed be a chore, and against our nature to seek all things for “self”, to seek the spectacular, but love is also a mystery. You can’t be taught love; you can’t see love.  It’s more than a feeling; it is a mystery, until … Praying these Glorious Mysteries it has dawned on me that the events of the rosary decades are indeed mysteries, but by constantly reflecting on these mysteries, they are something I firmly believe.  They became part of me, even though I can’t precisely explain them.

That is how love is.  Total giving of self is a chore, until it becomes part of who you are.  That is what love is, made in His Image.  GOD IS LOVE.

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But, of course, what I wrote isn’t the last word.  As I sat in the chapel, alone with Jesus, I read from Peter Kreeft’s new book titled: The Mystery of Joy.   … Yes, it is a mystery why I had that book with me tonight.  But I read from a chapter titled: The Mystery of Withness:

“Whenever someone we love is dying, we naturally ask what we can do for him.  The best answer, and usually the only answer, is simply to be there with him.  That is the gift of self, of real presence, personal presence.  Only a person can be present. Furniture is not present; it is just there.

How did God reveal His love to us?  By being with us, present to us.  The incarnation fulfilled God’s prophetic name in Isaiah, the name “Immanu-el”, which means: God is with us.”  That is what love seeks: withness, intimacy, closeness, union.  Not pleasure, or even happiness or peace or commitment, but withness.  

Oh My Papa

 

The men’s prayer group played a video this morning of the 1974 Paul Anka hit, Oh My Papa, and I cried as I recalled and softly sang the words: “Oh my papa, to me he was so wonderful …”.  When I got back home, I found that on-line video and saved it on my computer for future playings.

I’ve read many stories (and heard personally) about the impact of bad or absent dads on their children.  Most of the most prominent atheists of our time had terrible fathers.  I know that aborting or the taking of a life, which is a gift from God, is very wrong in all cases, but I don’t pretend to understand how that evil compares to the accepting of God;s gift of life, a child, and then then abusing it.  Created in His Image, we were meant to live and protect that image.  Jesus showed us how.  And He showed us what love is.  An image is made so that you can perceive the reality of the original by looking at it.  When people look at us, are they inclined in some way to see God?  Our earthly fathers are so important in helping us grow in that image, of our heavenly Father.

So, either play the Oh My Papa song and cry in happiness, or don’t listen to songs like that, but pray for your father.  For some reason, God chose you as a gift to him, him being good or bad (as we now understand it).

But no father is perfect.  The night I heard that old hit song, I had dreams of the blessings my father gave to me.  And then I recalled the time or two where he failed.  No person is perfect while on earth.  So, I’m having a mass said for him on the 30^th of this month.  It’s a good thing to pray for both our parents. God chose our parents for a reason, amd I pray I can live up to His reasons. 

And, I recalled that I AM special to God.  After WWII my dad came home with post-traumatic stress syndrome, but they didn’t call it that then.  And he was so bad that my mom tossed him out.  And after living as a hobo for 6 months he came back, better I guess.  And within a year later I was born.  I’m sure no relatives back then faulted my mom for tossing my dad out.  But if that “bad man” wasn’t allowed back, I wouldn’t be writing this now.

All life is a gift from God, and for a reason.

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And after I finished reflecting and writing the above words, while in the adoration chapel, God gave me a nudge, or perhaps His thoughts on the matter.  I began reading the book My Other Self again recently.  In the words of the book, Jesus speaks to you.  I opened to my bookmark, which was on page 21.  Jesus spoke straight to the heart of the matter.

And I Remember Momma

 

No, this isn’t a continuation of my last posting.

Last month, I felt an urge to have a mass said for my mother, something I haven’t done in a while.  I had remembered to have one said for my sister on her birthday this year, but mom seemed to slip my mind, although I pray for her soul every day.  So, I had a mass said for mom last month.  Way back when my dad retired from his years on the Baltimore and Ohio railroad (at mom’s insistence because he worked a very stressful job) they retired to Wisconsin, selling the home where I grew up in Illinois.  Mom had a favorite rose bush in the back yard, but she decided not to try and transfer it to their new Wisconsin home, on the river.  So, I transferred it to my home here in Michigan.

I tried to make the rose bush flourish, but it had sparse roses, to say the least, and it seemed that I did not have to prune it, as it never seemed to grow much.  Until this year …

I hadn’t been out into my backyard much this Spring.  Michigan weather has been cool.  But I went out last week and was totally surprised by my mom’s rose bush.  It had tons of new roses and buds.  Nothing near this has ever happened in the past 30 years.  But I had a mass said for momma, and ….

I recalled the many conversations I have heard from parents lamenting the falling away from faith of their children.  Families have become split apart because of faith beliefs.  I’ve read of popes who said that the final fight of Satan for this world will be over the family.  Looking at the material evidence of what happened when I had said one mass for my mom (and I pray, even more spiritual evidence), I am having a mass said on June 22, for our children.  It now seems to me that having a mass said for our child, even if that would bother them if they knew, would be a good thing, and I will encourage all parents I meet to do so. 

As I have been so blessed to so fully understand of late, our God IS LOVE.  Showing our love for our children to Him, by having masses prayed for them, may bloom in ways we could never imagine.

June 22^nd is the feast of Corpus Christi, and in many parishes around the country (and world?) there will be processions of the Holy Eucharist celebrating the love of Jesus, and the continuing evidence of it in His humbling Himself to come to us in that little host.  Our group of parishes will celebrate that day again in the park in downtown Plymouth, in the center of town, surrounded by many people sitting in the many restaurants surrounding the park.  We will process around the outside walks of the entire park.  We are not afraid to openly celebrate what we believe.  And we know.