Failed Lenten Resolutions

In failing to keep my Lenten resolutions (already) and resolving to do better, I think I’ve come to realize that in making those resolutions I only understood with simplicity matters which were much more complex.

I had resolved two simple P’s: to have more Patience and Perseverance. I thought that I was referring to MY actions. Irritation would be a sign to me that I had failed, and I’ve often seen and felt that emotion. Today, however, I’ve seen reminders that it is not that simple, because I am not alone in this world, and my actions affect others, AND God is here with us, too.

My awakening started simple, as I read how the rich man wanted to lead a more perfect spiritual life, and asked Jesus: “What more can I do? (Mt14:22)” (That’s kind of what I thought when I made my Lenten resolutions.)  But then I read “the young man … went away sorrowful, for he had many possessions.”  Oh, that P. Then I read the Gospel and how Jesus’ hometown wanted toss Him off a cliff because He wasn’t a Messiah like they expected (Lk4:22-30). In Pride, they were sure they knew God’s plans.

In my daily prayers I now always pray for the Poor souls in Purgatory, and (especially now) for world Peace. And most importantly, I always Praise God.

I think I can now summarize all these “P”s that I became aware of by first noting that I am not in control, of my person or my possessions; they are all gifts from God.  There are things that I can resolve to do (with God’s help) with these gifts, and to be more who I was created to be, but there are other things which only God can do,   

Prayer is the unifying factor, because it is God who makes all these things possible, not me. While I will pray for His grace to grow in the virtues of Patience and Perseverance, I will also pray for His grace to grow in humility, reducing my Pride.  I will pray to God that He bring about world Peace, and has mercy on the poor souls in Purgatory.

And in all these prayers, I will I begin with Praise to God, for His always loving us --- even me --- and for His never-ending mercy, which Jesus died for.

Which reminds me, while I reflected on all these “P”s and who could do what, It Is Lent. It was His Passion which makes all these things even possible.  It is good to reflect on how I am not in control of my life --- except for these brief moments before eternity, an eternity where He waits.

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Just an ‘oh by the way’.  My last posting spoke of my totally blocked ear.  While I prayed in front of a statue of St. Joseph, it popped open.  Doctors are still running tests, and I am testing hearing aids. And God is still in control.

 

Riccardo to Me

 

I just listened to Episode 151, Fr. John Riccardo’s Ash Wednesday podcast (Thoughts from the Trailer with Fr. John Riccardo).  He said Lent is a time for refining who we are, to grow to in the image of Jesus.  He spoke that he once heard that a goldsmith knows it is time to take the iron our of the fire when all he sees is gold, “all the dross is removed”.  “Ouch,” Fr. John said, “I know I have a lot of dross.”

 These last few days, I’ve been visiting my doctor, initially to help remove a wax buildup in my ears.  But after treatment, he noted that a spot of wax remained on my right eardrum.  So, he did the treatment again (Ouch that hurt).  He noted that a little bleeding began in my ear, and put a treatment on it and said all would be okay.  It was simple.

Only it wasn’t.  That last treatment didn’t stop the bleeding, and so the next day I went to him again, noting I could not hear in that ear.  A further treatment, and he assured me all was well, but my ear remained totally blocked (who knows why: wax or blood or treatment stuff or ---).

Did you know that suddenly hearing from only one ear confuses your brain?  My phone rang and, hearing it in my good left ear, I reached to answer it, but to my surprise it wasn’t there on my left.  I looked and saw it there to my right.  At mass this morning the music seemed way too loud, and yet I could hear the woman in front of me make a little sniffle.

Back to the doctor again. He saw some of the last “fix” had dried and was on the eardrum, so he removed that noting “well now there’s a tiny bit of blood, but we’ll fix that.”  And three hours later, I still don’t hear in that ear.  The doctor’s office just called and said that they’d sent a prescription for me to the local pharmacy.  When I was in the doctor’s office this last visit, I had told him and his admin that this was the last time this week, no matter what.  I’d let my ear heal for a few days --- and perhaps get used to hearing in only one ear.

A bible study friend of mine is totally blind, as is Andrea Bocelli.  My friend is seeking to start a ministry for the homeless, and Bocelli is probably the best tenor singer in the whole world.  I just listened to a Bocelli DVD last week.  He sang so beautifully and movingly, as Pope John Paul II’s life and death and burial filled the screen. The ending made me cry with its beauty.

That’s what Fr. Riccardo was also reminding us with his Lenten meditation.  Now is a time to focus on our dross, to make ourselves better, even if it is painful, and to live our lives as best we can, as are my blind friend and Bocelli --- and perhaps me with only one good ear.  And the reason for our accepting that imperfect reality?  Look ahead; the Resurrection, Easter and a new glorious life are coming our way.  Fr. Riccardo’s talk was a great reminder of why we accept and even welcome pain. And if we have been avoiding it, Lent is a good time to start the hard journey, whether it is accepting pain, or accepting the painful circumstances of our family, friends, church or the world.

As a priest said at mass, give up complaining, give up worry or gloom and discouragement.  Resolve this Lent to change our hearts, to focus on gratitude, blessings, and the beauty of creation all around us.  That’s accepting our pains, with a grateful eye to our coming Easter Resurrection, and joy forevermore.  

And outside my kitchen, I just heard thunder.  Rain is coming instead of the heavy snow and ice we’d been having.  Only I’m about to go out in that rain to deliver groceries.  Thank you God for all your creation, even the rain and cold, as I go out to serve You.

Review: From Silence to Silence

 

I fondly recalled Cardinal Sarah’s book titled: Silence, which had sat unread on my home bookshelf for many months, because I assumed it must be boring.  What could you write about silence?  How wrong I was!  So, when I saw the title of this book by Fr Bethel on the bookstore shelf, I quickly bought it.  And began to read it as soon as I got home.  It is a wonderful book!

In the book’s Foreward, Joseph Pearce writes: “If we wish to have minds open to the presence of God, we need to take time … in the silence of prayer.  We need more time with trees and less time with trash and trivia.”  He says well a key point:  God is present in silence, and as we grow closer to Him we perceive His presence there, whether in the quiet of our early morning awakening, or the awe of the adoration chapel.  And the more we perceive Him, the more we want to be with Him, and stay into an eternity with Him.

Many people, and most probably the young ones, think silence is boring.  It’s why they treasure their cell phones, hopping from point to point with what they perceive is excitement, when all it is, is a stimulation of the body’s senses

Be still and know that I am God
Psalm 46

In Chapter 4 of this book, Fr. Bethel headed a section with the words: “God surpasses our clear knowledge.  He IS, simply and absolutely, infinite.”  Fr. Bethel goes on to note how we begin a relationship, a spiritual childhood with God, and begin to know Him.  He explains our spiritual growth, through the GIFTS of Faith, Hope, and Charity, and how we nourish them by spiritual reading and meditation.  We grow in our knowledge of God.  Fr. Bethel then writes about how we speak to Him, in prayer.  And all this spiritual growth does not excite our physical senses, quite the opposite.  It quiets them.  Our physical senses are for our dealing with the world.  Our spiritual senses, however, and the quiet and beauty of nature, are where we come to know and love God.

From Silence to Silence is a beautiful, thoughtful book.  Don’t read it after the excitement of a hard day, or taking a break from your work or entertainment excitement.  Start reading it at a quiet time, free from all activity.  And you will begin to hear God, and grow From Silence to Silence.  And you will find yourself looking forward to those times, to be with God.