Where Is God?

I prayed for a successful meeting, and progress on the good work we were attempting.

I had met with a church group last week, and they seemed very enthusiastic to support the work we were starting.  One woman, giving me her card, said: “Let me know when the next meeting is; I will be there.”  And so, later, I emailed her the date and time of the meeting, but as the day neared I heard no response, so I called her: “Will you be there tomorrow for the meeting; I emailed you about it.”  “Tomorrow?  Oh, I didn’t know, and I scheduled something else at that time.  Email?  Oh ---- yes, I see it.  I don’t look at my email often; people who want to reach me text me.”

Oh.

That was another “I am getting old” moment for me.  For the younger generation, I guess if you text them it is important, while email is junk mail --- which admittedly, most is.  I consider something like “You’re late; the meeting has started” as something important to text, while they consider “You’re texting ME of a meeting next week; well, it must be important.”  A subtle, but big difference --- and a failure to communicate.

I wanted the new person at the meeting to give new ideas, but the meeting went on without her.  I expected a number of important things to be accomplished, but others there at the meeting placed different priorities, and less was accomplished, yet critical progress was made.

I had prayed God be present at the meeting.  I had invited others.  Things didn’t go as I planned, but I am humble enough to be content.  God’s ideas of importance, and progress, are often not mine.

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I prayed the Luminous Mysteries of the rosary, including the second mystery: The Wedding Feast at Cana.  And my meditations took on a different slant this night.  Jesus was invited to the wedding, and worked a miracle there.  I often think of how I invite Him into my life, perhaps wanting/expecting a miracle, but tonight I meditated on that wedding couple, and their likely perception of the miracle Jesus worked at their celebration.  Well, they (like I) invited Jesus to their party --- and His good friends --- and then they (like I) probably forgot about Him.  They had other plans and friends to attend to.  They were the focus of the party, not Jesus.  And I think that way about my life, too, like my invite of Jesus to that meeting, and then I worried about other things, like MY plans.  I treated Jesus like anyone else I invited to that meeting, and maybe even less important than others.  But then what happened?

The wedding party took a turn towards disaster: the wine was running out; did the wedding hosts even notice?  At Mary’s request Jesus worked a miracle, and the party disaster turned into the party surprise entertainment:  the last wine was the best wine.  Did that just happen, and the party went on?  Was that happy ending even noticed by the bride and groom?  Did they know Jesus did it?  It’s not at all clear in the Gospel words, but you don’t read of the wedding party coming over and thanking Him.

Like I didn’t come over and thank Him, after the successful meeting --- which went not at all as I planned.  How often do you treat Jesus this way?

I’d like to think Jesus is an important part of my life; I pray to Him often, in both petition AND thanksgiving.  Reflecting on what happened at that wedding feast (and my meeting), I think, however, that often I forget He is part of my life.  I invite Him along, especially for critical events, and definitely for tragic events beyond my control, but then I proceed to focus on my plans --- and kind of assume He is coming along.  I treat Him as a good friend I want with me, forgetting that a good friend will want to look out for my best interests, and a God friend WILL do so.  And so, when God changes events for my good --- changes to my plans --- I usually have only one of two reactions.  Either I don’t notice that the good outcome was God’s plan/intervention, not mine (like the wedding wine or the successful meeting), or I react with a: “What the heck!  Why did that happen?”  (And if others happen to be involved: “How can they be so stupid!” --- as to not see things my way.)

“Where is God in my life,” we often wonder, as we rage against our stubborn kids, our uncaring spouse, or our stupid boss or co-workers, who don’t want to do things as we desire.  We prayed God to be part of our life, and we can’t conceive of the possibility that He is, perhaps using something bad to teach us or others a lesson, or perhaps allowing a bad thing to create some sort of future good, that we can’t now see.  We ask God in, but expect Him to come in the door we open, forgetting that He is God, and forgetting that He loves us, and will act that way --- even if we don’t understand it.

Certainly, I cannot KNOW the mind of God, or see His hand in events, yet if I had to guess I’d guess His hand is more often shaping good events we are not aware of, than allowing the bad events we often rage about, because we don’t understand.  Where is God at?  He’s right where we asked Him to be, just not attracting attention to Himself.

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And there’s one more place that God is, besides in events or the actions of those we meet; He is in us.

I was lamenting to my spiritual director how I had tried to do some good things last month, but I saw no good results: “I should have done this or that instead,” or “I should have not been so upset at the outcomes,” I told him.  And he gave me new insight: “’Should’ is a ‘shouldy’ word,” he said.

Should is a negative word; it implies a guilt that isn’t there.  It expresses a regret over the past.  We need to focus on the now.

That was a key take-away from my hour with the spiritual director, and it reminded me of that I AM verse by Helen Mallicoat.  Don’t live in worry over the past; don’t live in worry over the future.  “When you live in this moment, it is not hard.  I am here.  My name is I AM.”

Where is God?  My friend, He is right beside you.

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I looked down at the book My Other Self, lying in the pew rack in front of me, and picked it up and opened it.  The section I opened to was titled: In Your Daily Work.

“Desire to do no other work than that which is your duty at a particular moment.  Say to me, “Lord, I will this task because this task is Your will for me at this time.”  Attack the tasks you dread doing --- out of love for Me.  I will help you to smile and be serene.”

“Even though you work diligently, you will not always succeed.  Your best efforts will not always meet with the approval of your fellow man.  Do not let this upset you.  Offer your natural disappointment to me.”

“Do this, and you will be what I desire!”