As We Forgive

At mass this morning, as I prayed the Our Father prayer Jesus taught us, I had a sudden flashback.  “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  It struck me how extremely important it is that we forgive others and reminded me of some recent incidents in my life.  I had always taken those prayer words as a reminder to not hang onto memories of people who treated me wrongly.  Forgive them overtly, call or write them a letter, or at least forgive and forget.  I’ve done both in recent years, whether to a boss, a family member, or a friend.  What struck me this morning though, was some recent incidents with total strangers, who did something I thought they shouldn’t.  

Those people triggered my anger response.  Being upset at their “not doing things my way” is part of the culture we live in, and I’m no saint.  It’s all people want to talk about, whether politics or religion or work, pointing to “Look what they did.”  This conversation focus, however, is the total opposite of what Jesus lived and taught, to love your neighbor --- no exceptions, no focus on their sins.  That’s why He ate with sinners, not because He approved of what they’d done, as the Pharisees implied, but to show them what Christian love is.  He came among sinners so that they might become ex-sinners.  “Go and sin no more” was a line He often said or inspired in the hearts of those who knew Him.  And He showed us how important that was when He said to pray to Our Father and to forgive us, just as we do our neighbors --- including the politicians, the church leaders, or our co-workers.  

Or even total strangers.

A couple of days ago I had an incident where someone delayed me in traffic.  They were in front of me in a right turn lane, and when the right turn green arrow lit up, they didn’t proceed.  Today, the Our Father prayer at mass caused me to reflect on their and my reactions, and I recalled that my anger caused them to anger; my sin caused them to sin.  Later I resolved to try and pray for people like that in the future and not get angry.

I’m sure that type of incident has happened to me before, people delaying me at a turn signal, but I think God tested my resolve yesterday, or as a blessing gave me an opportunity to show love of my neighbor.  Yesterday, at that very same intersection and right turn lane, there again was a car in front of me and one behind me.  The green turn arrow lit up, and the car in front of me did not move.  My hand went to the horn instinctively, but I stopped myself from pressing it.  And I did say a quick prayer for the driver in front of me.  And the car behind me didn’t beep either.  Then, the green light went on.  Again, I waited, but nothing happened, then the car in front of me put on its emergency flashers.  It had an engine problem.  I did feel more flustered, but I flicked on my LEFT turn signal to tell the car behind me that we’d have to go around the one stopped in front.  And I began looking at passing traffic to see when I could merge, when out of the corner of my eye I saw the car in front of me go forward and turn.  I followed, and shortly after I saw its emergency flashers go off.

 I said another short prayer of thanks for that driver --- and for myself.  It was a lesson I hope I learned and will remember.  In church as I prayed the Our Father prayer today, my mind flashed back to those incidents of my forgiveness and lack thereof.  It was a reminder that even those little events can have eternal impacts.  And we pray that it is so.

Blind, But Now Seeing

 A blind friend says that since he became blind, he sees things better than ever before.  I can understand that.  His mind is no longer set on visible distractions, which often tempt us to see, to get, or to do things for selfish reasons.  It’s the reason for all advertisements.  Without those visual distractions, my friend has become more aware of physical things he might not have perceived were he distracted.  He can hear intention in people’s voices, smell and touch in ways he never felt before.  And he is aware of God’s spiritual presence as he never had been before.  And he is one of the happiest people I know.

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As I drove home from the chapel yesterday, I noticed the small cemetery sign stating: Established in 1826.  Next year will be 200 years since that cemetery’s start.  The few tombstones I can see from the road are small and not upright, and they sit among a group of large trees.  And surrounding those trees on three sides are large houses, or “estates.”  I suspect that cemetery is rarely visited but as I pass it I pray for the souls buried there, as I now do when passing any cemetery.

    Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.        And may they rest in peace.

Next year, 2026, will be the 250th anniversary of our country’s founding.  Fifty years after that founding in 1776, this cemetery which I pass most days was founded.  It’s likely that some of the people buried there were alive when our war for independence was fought.  They may have had relatives who died in those battles.  They were among the early “Go West” settlers.  And no one remembers their names.

I think when springtime comes, I will park at a nearby church and walk to that cemetery, and look at those tombstones, and open my eyes to and pray for these forgotten ancestors.

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After the men’s breakfast group meeting early this morning, I walked to a back area of the church basement where a dozen or so men pray the rosary each week.  As I walked, I passed an area where there were a few Christmas trees decorated with small white lights.  In front of those trees was a small white bench, which could seat a couple of people.  It seemed unusual, but then I thought: What a great idea!  Not just decorations you pass by and forget, but a spot to sit down, and take some time to reflect.  You wouldn’t be reflecting on the beauty of those trees, they were pretty common, but you could reflect on the spiritual meaning of those trees.  Christmas, our Savior is born.  God is with us.  That is much to close your eyes and dwell upon.  It’s something not done often enough, I think, but here is a very nice bench to sit down, close your eyes, and do so:  Our God is with us.

- - - - - - - - - - 

The rosary said by the small group of men this morning is a wonderful prayer time.  It is serious prayer, said softly, with intention you can perceive as you pray together, most of the men with their eyes closed.  There is a smattering of conversation before and after the rosary, but the men don’t walk out of their way to just chit-chat here.

It was after that rosary time, however, that I had another spiritual experience.  Walking down the hall alone, a man came up to me and stopped me.  “I want to thank you for that book you gave me, My Other Self.  It has made a huge difference in my prayer time, and that of my wife who loves it also.  Thank you so very, very much.”  I don’t recall my response, but I felt a bit struck by his words, because I didn’t know the man or when I gave him the book.  I guess it was the week when I brought some for my men’s breakfast group table, but I may have had a couple left over and maybe offered them to that rosary group, and he, not a regular attendee, was there.  

I had planned to give that book to men at the breakfast group because some ha said they had little personal relationship with Jesus.  I thought that book might help, and one man said it did.  That was MY plan for those books.  But, as I heard this morning, it seems Jesus had other plans for at least one of those books, and not surprisingly, His plan yielded much better fruit than mine

I didn’t have to see a deep thank you on that man’s face after the rosary this morning.  I heard it in his voice, and felt his spirit speaking loudly.

What Are You Mad About?

 I was driving to church and stopped at the red traffic light, waiting in the right-turn-only lane.  Then, the cross traffic stopped, and the small right-turn green arrow lit up on the overhead traffic signal.  I could turn now, but the one car in front of me didn’t move.  After a few moments, I tapped my horn.  Then after a few moments more I beeped my horn.  And seeing no reaction, I let out a long beep, as cars behind me also beeped.  Then the main traffic light turned green, and the car finally moved.  It was only a block later that it turned into an apartment complex, but not before the woman driver let down her window and stuck a particular finger in my direction ….

At the time I laughed, dismissing her gesture.  Then my mind wandered to thoughts I had had on previous occasions, about how perhaps I had an emergency which she didn’t know about, or perhaps the car behind me did.  She should have considered that, and not gotten angry.  I thought that maybe I should have followed her and explained this “holy logic” to her.  I could have told her how I now try not to be irritated by slow drivers or tailgaters.  They might be having an emergency, so I try to remember to pray for them.  But I didn’t actually follow her to give her my wisdom.

It took the passing of a day, and some readings and reflections on how Jesus loved, that I saw those prior stop light events differently.  It was something I’ve noted before as being very important, but when it happened again to me, I didn’t remember that importance.

Whenever I am irritated, it is Satan winning a battle for control of my life.  He leads me to take actions which imply I am saying “I am important but you, or even God, not so much.”  All my irritations are because I am not getting something or some way I want.  Jesus’ call for love was a total GIVING of self.  All my irritations are about me not GETTING my way.

I pondered that a bit, and then thought again about that woman’s hand gesture.  Yes, perhaps she was stating a truth; I AM getting f….., but I was doing it to myself..  If she were a woman of faith, she might well have asked me: “What are you getting mad about?  Anger at others is a form of self-love that we were commanded by Jesus not to have.”  And she would have been right, and I would have been humbled.  And then I recalled how Jesus had once put into my heart His reaction to the Pharisees or Scribes who belittled Him, or even those who crucified Him; and in reaction I heard Him say: “But I loved them anyway.”

I hope that woman prayed for me.

Let The Lord Enter

 The men’s Bible study group this morning just happened to reach the Gospel of John, Chapter 6, in our weekly discussions.  That chapter is one of the key foundations of my Catholic faith, but I didn’t bring that point up to the Protestant men.  I’m sure they knew, but our discussions avoid most doctrinal focus.  We meet not to convert one another, but to let God teach us and change our hearts, as He wills.

“Whoever sees the Son and believes in Him shall have eternal life.”

The Jews were asking for another miracle, but the Bible Study guys agreed, this morning, that even if that had happened, it likely would not have changed the Jews’ minds or hearts, not to the totally new message Jesus was bringing.  They just could not bring themselves to accept what He was saying.  His message did not have human proofs, it was about accepting that He was God, and accepting God’s message preached through Jesus.  That acceptance is not brought about based on human senses, like the sight Him or of His miracles, but by spiritual acceptance of God’s graces.  God loves us all, but each has to choose to accept the graces of that love, not look for proofs of it.  The Gospel of John talks about believing IN HIM, not the things they see Him do.  Believing in Him is believing He is God, and believing in the things He says, even if they don’t understand them.  “You have the words of eternal life,” as Peter said, even though He didn’t fully understand Jesus’ message either.  He trusted.

At mass later this morning, the morning Responsorial Psalm was “Let the Lord enter; He is the King of Glory.”  Those words are saying we must choose to let Him enter into our hearts.  When Mary said “yes” to the archangel Gabriel, she was agreeing to let the Lord enter, “and she was conceived of the Holy Spirit.”  And her whole life changed.

That is what Jesus was calling the Jews to do, accept His message, and totally change their lives, but they could not let God’s graces into their hearts and accept Jesus’ message because they lacked humility.  Humility is key to accepting God and all that He says.  “We can’t see it; we can’t prove it” is what our human minds think, but it’s not a matter of interpretation with our human minds or senses.  In our very being, we are called to accept His Being.  He is I AM; He is God.

When we were baptized, we began our growth in humility.  In Baptism, it is not the water we see which is cleaning us; it is only a sign, even as Jesus’ miracles were.  Baptism and the words we said then was the start of our acceptance of God.  Made in His image, we started to become as He is in His Being.

Later at mass this morning, we prayed prayers of petition.  Our response to each petition was: “Come, Lord Jesus.”

We need to let Him in.

Mary said “Yes, come Lord Jesus,” and He came into her physical and spiritual being.  And nine months later, at Christmas, Jesus entered our physical world.  Will we celebrate His coming by saying: “Come Lord Jesus, enter into my heart?” Or will we be focused on all the things we see and hear around us?  

Review: The Father

This book’s author, Fr. Mark Mary Ames, is a member of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, the order started by Fr. Benedict Groeschel, a favorite author of mine.  The order lives and is based in the slums of the Bronx, New York.  (I liked how Fr. Groeschel once said: “I hope I die and go to Purgatory; it will be a step up from the Bronx.)
The Father is a book made up of 30 short meditations which relate events in the lives of the friars, the people they serve, and/or to fathers of families.  The meditations are meant “to draw you into the heart of God,” The Father.  And that, they most surely do.  The events described show human examples of love.  God The Father, however, IS LOVE, itself, and any human actions are only pale imitations, but the examples Fr. Ames relates will touch your heart, and yes, thereby draw you into the heart of God.
Humans can, and should WILL TO love, with the “agape” type of love that Jesus commands of us, a love that is a total giving of self, of forgetting self.  With this type of love, yes, you can will to love the most irritating or disgusting of people.  Relative to the people who did not understand Him, Jesus once said, “but I loved them anyway.”  But the love of God the Father (which the human Jesus had) is more than just a willed love; it is a love which comes from His Heart, His very BEING.  And that is the love we were created, in the image and likeness of God, to grow into, to grow to be more like Him our entire lives.
Looking back over the pages of this great book, I am surprised at the few underlines I made of the text.  I guess that makes sense though; it is not a sentence or simple thought which struck me as I read, but the heart of Love that was in the totality of the words.  
I did underline, however, these two important sentences.  Each is part of a chapter’s closing prayer, which in some ways summarized my heart after reading that chapter.  The first prayer I underlined ends with:

    
    May I pour myself out in love of You and love of my brothers and sisters with great generosity.  I ask this in Jesus' name.

 
And then there’s this second underlined prayer quote.  It is the last sentence of the last page of the book, which I happened to read before mass this morning, as I sat in line for confession:

May the depths you were willing to go in pursuit of me move my heart to gratitude, but also to contrition and repentance for times I have doubted or rejected your love for me.  Help me to receive the gift of your pursuit of me.  I ask this in Jesus' name.
     

Amen.
 

Follow Me

 October 30 is the feast day of St. Andrew, the apostle.  Jesus said to him “follow me.”  Then Andrew went to his brother Peter and said “We have found the Messiah, that is to say, the Christ.”  It doesn’t say that Peter believed him immediately, but Andrew brought him to Jesus “to learn everything for himself.”  They both became disciples, which are committed followers; they followed to learn from The Teacher.
In today’s Office of Readings was a sermon by St. Augustine.  I have these words underlined in my book:

Let us sing alleluia here on earth, while we still live in anxiety, so that we may  sing it one day in heaven in full security.  Why do we now live in anxiety?  Can   you expect me not to feel anxious when there are so many temptations here below that prayer itself reminds us of them, when we say: Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us?  Every day we make our petition; every day we sin.  Do you want me to feel secure when I am daily asking pardon for my sins, and requesting help in time of trial? … Deliver us from evil:  And yes, brothers, while we are still in the midst of this evil, let us sing alleluia to the good God who delivers us from evil.

Scripture does not say that he will not allow you to be tried, but that he will not allow you to be tried beyond your strength.  You have entered upon a time of trial but you will come to no harm --- God’s help will bring you through it safely.  You are like a piece of pottery, shaped by instruction, fired by tribulation.  When you are put into the over therefore, keep your thoughts on the time when you will be taken out again; for God is faithful, and He will guard both your going in and your coming out.

Keep on making progress.  This progress, however, must be in virtue, for there  are some, the Apostle warns, whose only progress is in vice.  Sing then, but keep going.

And then I read this short reflection by Mother Teresa of Calcutta (in Love, A Fruit Always in Season):

God is the friend of silence.  We need to find God, but we cannot find Him in noise, in excitement.  See how nature, the trees, the flowers, the grass grow in deep silence.  See how the stars, the moon and the sun move in silence.
The more we receive in our silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life.  Silence gives us a new way at looking at everything.  We need this silence in order to touch souls.  The essential thing is not what we say, but what God says to us and what He says through us.

These works I read all spoke to me of my making progress in my relationship with Jesus.  You don’t immediately become friends with anyone, nor do you get to know them if you are focused on events of the world or your own concerns (like Peter’s fishing).   He said: “Follow Me.”  The disciples don’t tell Jesus what to do.  They listen.  They try to understand what He is teaching.  And, Mother Teresa reminds us that today, we listen and ponder His word, but also all His creation.  Through all these things He speaks; we listen.
“Follow Me”

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And sometimes I listen to Him through my friends.  So today I put up my Christmas tree as they insisted (and most of the ornaments).  It doesn’t seem to mean as much to me, nor some ornaments on it from friends in the 1980’s.  But others see it also, and like it or not, it sets a tone around me which I can’t ignore, kind of like silence.  It’s the world’s problems I need to ignore.  It is surprising how many people have stopped watching television, and how many are turning off their phones --- even if only to pray in silence.  Walmart got rid of the children’s sex toys from its stores, and dropped sex mandates from their suppliers.  A radical agenda quickly overtook our country and our culture, perhaps it is slowly turning.  
And perhaps next Thanksgiving children will again come to be with their parents to celebrate and give thanks.

Alone at Thanksgiving

In the years since Covid started, I no longer travel a long distance to spend Thanksgiving with my nieces.  I have no nearby relatives, so on Thanksgiving (and Christmas and Easter) I make dinner for myself (with lots of leftovers).  I usually make plates for the nearby 7-11 employees who must work holidays.  Many friends have invited me to share the holiday with their family gatherings, but I feel as someone interrupting their time together.  I don’t want to do that, so I eat alone those days.
 

But not this year.
 

Three friends, each of whom has family, will be alone this Thanksgiving.  Their families are traveling to other far-flung relatives, so we will gather, together as friends for Thanksgiving dinner.  In a way, we are the leftovers.
 

In my spiritual readings and prayers of late, I’ve noticed an emphasis on silence, time with God --- personal time, but I’ve also noticed the emphasis on community.  Whether the Trinity, or church, or family, Jesus strongly promotes community, unique close friends who you feel comfortable being with, and praying with --- and making Jesus part of that community.
 

When I was celebrating Thanksgiving alone, I never thought about any others who may be spending that day alone.  While I thought I was being “nice” by not being the “odd egg” at nearby friends’ gatherings, I rarely thought about those who needed my presence --- not just my Thanksgiving donation of food or money to some charity.  They --- and I --- need community.  Jesus said so.
 

So, this Thanksgiving I will be gathering together with friends and giving thanks for God’s many blessings.  We need to be together.  We need to say those words of thanks together.  We need to hear those words said aloud by others.
 

This Christmas I don’t doubt my Thanksgiving dinner friends will be celebrating Christmas Day with family, so I will find some others who would be alone that day.  And together, we will celebrate and give thanks for the biggest event that ever happened in the world.  How could you not want to go out and celebrate it with the world?  Look what God has done for us!
 

We are never alone, and we should not act as if we are.
 

Serenity

 On my way to church Saturday morning, a car began closely tailgating me.  And after a few moments, I did what I sometimes find myself doing:  I sped up --- a lot.  At some point all tailgaters realize how far over the speed limit they are, and let me pull away.  I take some weird satisfaction in that.  I don’t thank God that no cop was around, because I suspect God doesn’t approve of my actions, or thoughts.  And on Saturday morning, I happened to notice the tailgater behind me turned into a housing complex; he likely was going home.
 

At mass, the monsignor was assisted by a young altar boy, or perhaps it is better said that HE assisted the young altar boy.  I’m not sure the boy did anything right or timely, but the monsignor quietly corrected him or motioned what he should be doing to assist at mass.  Then as mass ended and before the monsignor left the altar, he faced us and, pointing at the young altar boy, said: “This is (a name mentioned), and today was his first going solo as an altar boy.  Let’s give him an applause.”  And loud clapping followed.  It was a touching moment.
 

It was only later on, as I listened to the radio, that the morning events again came to mind.  The radio speaker said: “Time with Jesus is serenity.  No serenity, no Jesus.”  And my thought went to my reaction to the tailgater this morning --- no serenity there.  Even before speeding to break the tailgating, my serenity was broken.  I don’t remember what I was thinking before I saw the tailgater, perhaps I was even praying, but then my serenity broke.  And no serenity, no Jesus.
 

I never equated the events before, but I used to be irritated at people in front of me going way under the speed limit --- you can guess my thoughts, words and actions.  Then, within a short period of days, Jesus showed me that my forced slow driving may have saved me from a terrible accident.  After that, I began not cursing, but praying for any very slow driver in front of me.  Perhaps they were taking someone to the hospital, or just heard some horrible news of such a thing, or maybe even that they were drunk, and slow driving was a good thing.  Prayer is my now normal reaction to a very slow driver I can’t pass.
 

Why can’t I think that way about tailgaters?  Instead, I let their possible sin lead, me to sin.  It will take some effort, but I shall try to pray for those tailgaters who irritate me in the future.  I will keep my serenity, and serenity is time with Jesus.  The monsignor also showed me that serenity this morning.  And what do you find yourself getting irritated about?  Try staying calm and praying for them.  I know doing this will take some effort, but all good things take effort --- and practice.
 

And if you have even one successful effort, talk to Jesus about it.  He’d be interested to discuss it in prayer, and serenely reply to you.

It's All About Us

Driving Westward toward the church for morning mass this morn, I once again saw the beauty of God’s Light, as the passing road and buildings around me were still shadowy, yet the top half of the trees in front of me were brilliantly lit by the rising sun behind me.  I said a prayer, then, for the beauty of creation, and the gift of my life.

The words of my subsequent Morning Prayers, the mass and the monsignor’s sermon, all seemed to naturally flow with those earlier feelings.  When it came the time for communion, I watched as row after row of people joined the center aisle communion line.  I was the only person in my pew, and as the last person from the pew in front of me joined the center line, suddenly a young boy came up and entered the center aisle line in front of me.  There were two communion lines and, (I assumed) his mother was in the other line holding a baby.  The young boy in front of me held a plastic animal character in each hand, and as the line moved forward, he had each of his animals walk on the pew edge in front of him.  When he reached the front of the communion line, the monsignor blessed the young boy, who then held up his two arms, and the monsignor blessed each of the animal characters he held.  And in my heart, I felt a deep joy: this is how He loves His little children.  And receiving communion myself, I felt strongly God’s love for me too.

Back in my pew, I gave Him praise and thanksgiving.  Then, I picked up a card containing the Prayer After Holy Communion, as composed by Padre Pio, and there I read:  Stay with me, Lord, for You are my life and without You I am without fervor.  Stay with me, Lord, for You are my Light, and without You I am in darkness.  And at that moment the rising sun began shining through the church window, directly on my face.  In the sun’s brightness I could no longer see the prayer card I held, but I knew there was nothing else to be said in prayer, and so I just listened.

Driving home from mass, the Catholic radio station was playing Deacon Tom Lowe’s Notes From Above music show.  And Deacon Tom said: “And this next tune was played at Al Kresta’s funeral (the station’s founder and a very beloved man).  It is titled Gratitude, and is sung by Brandon Lake:” It begins:

All my words fall short
I got nothing new
How could I express
All my gratitude.

 
I could sing these songs
As I often do
But every song must end
And You never do.

 
So I throw up my hands
And praise You again and again
‘Cause all that I have is a hallelujah
Hallelujah
And I know it’s not much
But I’ve got nothing else fit for a King
Except for a heart singing hallelujah
Hallelujah.

So many things to be grateful for at the start of this day, the blessings of the past, the blessings I see all around me this day, and (I am sure) the glorious blessings of the future.  Why focus on the bad and the darkness?  The Light is all about us --- not “about us” as in I’m so important, it’s all about me, but rather “about us”, as in It’s everywhere!! How can we not see the goodness, the never-ending Love of God all around us??  It’s ALL ABOUT us.    

Why Keep Asking?

 

I think there are some people who ask God for something, and when they don’t promptly receive what they asked for, their faith weakens.  It’s as if their time in prayer were money:  why spend it for something and receive nothing in return?  In general, the answer to their concerns is that God DOES answer prayers, in His time and in His way.  Be patient and trust.  But yesterday I had some friends who DID believe in Jesus’ response to that, and how He told us to just keep asking. 

Yesterday, the prayer group was stating prayer intentions before our prayer time, and many stated concerns about the upcoming election and the various aspects of it.  And I grew frustrated (another thing to confess) at the details.  But their response was to say that Jesus called us to just keep asking about our concerns.  I could have rambled on and on in response to that (and to prove how right I was --- in my pride), but we proceeded on and prayed the prayer we had gathered for.  And I forgot about that interaction. 

This morning, I prayed a prayer I pray each morning --- or, perhaps I have grown cold and am just reading that prayer.  I make a Consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus each day; this is part of it:

Oh Jesus, we know that You love us
so much that You have given Your
Sacred Heart to us for our salvation.

We all love You and ask
You to protect us with Your
shepherd’s Heart from any sin.

Knock, keep knocking at the
door of our hearts, Oh Lord!
Be patient and persevering
with us, Oh Lord!

Our hearts are still closed
to You because we have not
understood Your wishes.

Knock continuously!

Oh, Good Jesus, make us open
our hearts to You, and remember
how much You have suffered for us.

I’m sure you noticed, as I did, the part of that prayer after the work “knock”.  Every day I pray this prayer to Jesus, to keep asking ME!  Yesterday, I was frustrated at those who were repeatedly asking Him in prayer, yet I pray every day for Him to keep asking ME.  Is that Pride with a capital “P” or what? 

Prayer is a communication between those who should be friends, but even human friends sometimes “don’t hear,” or, in love, don’t directly answer the question asked.  The true lover always seeks the benefit of the beloved, not himself.  And sometimes that benefit is conveyed in how you answer, or don’t answer his immediate concerns.