Gen 22:1-19
The weekly class assignment includes meditating and
contemplating on an assigned Scripture passage each day. The first day this week was the above chapter
from Genesis, which tells of God asking Abraham to travel to a place and then
to sacrifice to God his only son, Isaac.
I read the passage and saw the oft-referenced imagery to God’s
later sacrificing of His only Son, Jesus.
I even noticed the similar use of numbers, the two servants who traveled
with Abraham (ref the two Good Thieves of the cross?), and the three days
journey (ref the three days in the tomb?).
I read the passage a second time, looking for any further insights, but in
reading it again I had a “is that all there is?” feeling ---- I perceived no
great new insights here. Oh well, I
thought, some days prayer is like that.
The next evening, when I looked for the assigned Scripture
passage to read, I found the word “Repetition” indicated --- read it
again. Uh-oh, it was to be another
some-ol’, same-ol’ night, but I dutifully took the time and re-read that
passage from Genesis. Blank. Nada.
Nothing. Been-there, done-that,
heard-that. Same-ol’, same-ol’. All Scripture reading is good, but apparently
this one had nothing to say to me.
Or so I thought, but God had other plans.
The next morning as I spent time with my morning prayers,
the Genesis passage came back to me --- and I found myself walking in Abraham’s
shoes. He traveled for three days with
his son Isaac, I suddenly realized, knowing all the while that he would soon be
sacrificing him. What fear would fill my
heart, what darkness, and what pain? And
despite Abraham’s love of God, surely he must have been thinking (as I would):
why? And then thinking further on that I
perceived an answer: the answer must lie
in the depths of Abraham’s love.
Real love trusts: it
sees no fear; it sees no darkness; it sees no pain. It does not ask “why” in self-pity (for self-pity
is the root of that question). Real love
just trusts the other.
I saw my reactions to past difficult circumstances in my
life. I saw my fears, my pains, my
darkness, and my anger, and my asking: why?
And I saw clearly my self-pity, for the real question I was asking was:
why ME? I have walked many difficult
roads, as Abraham did, but I saw rarely walked them with his firm love and
trust in God, trust that this bad situation was for a good that I could not
see.
And then I saw the related imagery of Abraham’s walk, of God
the Father and Jesus in Their walk, with the two thieves, and the real death of
the beloved Son on the cross, and then their three dark days. They foresaw what seemed a terrible thing (to
us), but in them I saw no fear, no darkness, no spiritual pain, and perhaps
most telling, no self-pity. They trusted
all this was for a good reason; They trusted in Their love of us.
In our class we are studying the spirituality of St.
Ignatius, and his rules for discerning spiritual feelings hidden in our
emotions: is what we are feeling from
God, or from evil spirits? It’s often a confusing
thing to discern, and I find myself wishing there rules which could be simply
applied to yield a definite yes or no answer, but there are none, because many of
the questions I ask are only answered in due time, God’s timing, not mine.
And then it came to me:
I have found this day some simple answers. Feelings of fear, darkness, pain, and
anger: these feelings are always of the
enemy, not of God. I can bet on it, and
I can reject those feelings. And the
same holds true for those feelings of self-pity. These are not feelings God wishes for
me. All these feelings are encouraged by
bad spirits, encouraging me to not trust, not love, the God who so loves me.
Later that morning I went to mass, and as the priest held
the host in front of my eyes before placing it on my tongue, I clearly smelled
the fragrance of roses, and I knew I had gotten the message God wished me to
perceive from that passage of Genesis.
In reading Scripture daily and contemplating on what God is
saying, there is much to be learned, even from the same-ol’, same-ol’ words ---
if we would just listen, and pray to hear.
Wow, this is a fabulous post. Thanks so much for sharing it. I have often found when I am reflecting on Scripture, it may take a week or a month for "enlightenment" to come. Sometimes there are several parts, meaning, I hear or read something one day, and sometime later hear or see something else, then even later, another piece, and sometime after that, the whole puzzle seems to come together. Then of course I see the idea everywhere and realize THIS is what that means! I see the truth at another level, a deeper level. Then truths spoken of by saints become evident, clearer, deeper.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me Scripture can never be exhausted of deeper meaning. I have found as you have: a passage seems familiar and totally explored, and then, through prayer and reflection and dependence on God, the Holy Spirit reveals a deeper meaning, and a whole new vista opens up. God is good.
One thing: feelings are what they are. No one can help what they feel. We can't even get rid of our feelings. But we can choose to not make them a factor in how we act, or what we do. They are real, but they are capitalized on by evil to make us not trust God. Even good feelings, like feeling proud of how nice we are (a very bad temptation for me). So they can be discounted.
But anyway, thanks for this post because it really was wonderful how you traced this spiritual experience.
God bless.
But again, thank