I think God wished to tell me something this week, as I
noticed the varied events of my life meshing together to a common theme.
It began last week as I finished a novel entitled The
Shepherd, by Ethan Cross. It was a good
who-done-it read, albeit at times gory.
As I read, I knew the good guy would win out in the end, but it WAS a
surprise ending: all the gore I had read
about earlier was faked; it was all an elaborate test of the good guy to see if
he had the will (and moral strength??) to be “A Shepherd”. A small group of people, designating
themselves as shepherds, vowed to protect society by tracking down wolves, the
deeply evil, and … well, you can guess what they’d do. I found the novel’s ending interesting, but somewhat
disquieting.
And if I were really
attuned to the Lord’s ways, I guess I should have expected what happened next.
I went to mass the next day and the Gospel reading was about
(surprise!) The Good Shepherd, and I couldn’t help but reflect on the
differences between the two shepherd stories.
In the novel, the shepherd protects the flock by becoming a
quasi-bounty-hunter. He protects society
as a whole, in general; he is unknown by anyone, unrecognized. He decides who the wolf is, and judges the
punishment to inflict. He acts as a god.
In the Gospel, The Good Shepherd does not leave his flock,
and “My sheep know me, and I know my sheep” --- and they all know him well. They know the sound of His voice. The Good Shepherd protects his flock by
leading them from danger, and he only goes out if one of them is lost, to find
him. The Good Shepherd does not focus on
judging wolves; he focuses on loving his sheep.
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On Saturday morning, I attended a talk by Deacon Alex Jones,
the man who for 40 years was a Protestant minister, until he (with the Holy
Spirit) studied his way into the Catholic Church, bringing his wife and many of
his flock with him. Because the focus of
the Saturday event was the coming feast day of Corpus Christi, Dcn. Jones
focused his conversion story on how he discerned the growing importance of holy
communion as celebrated in his Protestant church, and how he discovered that
priests were ordained shepherds, successors of the apostles and Jesus --- but
his Protestant ordination was not so ordained.
He lovingly spoke of how his yearning for a truly consecrated Holy
Communion grew, and how he humbly knelt at the altar to receive his first Holy
Communion as a Catholic.
As I listened to Dcn. Jones’ story, I heard him describe his
deep trust in God to lead him, even as others were telling to only trust them,
and not “the demon Catholic Church.”.
Following God and trusting God was not easy; he lost many friends along
the way.
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Last week’s church bulletin contained the witness of a
parish member, a good man, who raised good children, many of whom are now
priests and sisters. He was recently diagnosed
with terminal cancer, “There is no cure”.
He was undergoing treatments to delay the cancer’s progress when he asked
to be prayed over by members of the parish at a worship service. “Their hands burned” as they prayed. A subsequent doctor’s visit confirmed that he
was totally cured of the cancer.
God DOES keep some wolves at bay, in His own way, in His own
time, if we trust in Him.
Another friend told me this past week that her remaining
sibling, her sister, is dying in the hospital.
They both are resigned to their temporary parting, confident in their
future re-union, and union with God. They
are people of great trust, continuing on when trusting is hard.
And a friend dropped by my house yesterday afternoon, and I
showed her the picture of the baby which had been born, and died, on Holy
Saturday. This too was a family, I reminded
her, with a great trust in God, in all things.
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The Gospel on the feast of Corpus Christi told of the
institution of the Eucharist at the Last Supper. When I heard the Gospel read, however, my
mind focused on Jesus’ initial words, telling His disciple to go into the city
and prepare the room they would use to celebrate the Passover meal --- His
final meal with them, His FINAL meal.
There would be no more meetings of all these friends in this way; this
was The Last Supper.
What would we do if we, like Jesus, knew this was to be our
last meal with our spouse, or our children, or our friends --- our last
supper? What words would we say to those
we love? Certainly we would tell them
that we love them, but oh how our hearts would be aching to stay with
them. Our children might even innocently
ask of us: “Do you have to go?”
And our hearts would break.
Jesus felt that way.
But being God and loving us, he DID answer the tough question of His
children, as only God could: “Yes, I can
stay --- and I will always be with you.”
He shared the bread with them at The Last Supper and said: “Take it; this is my body. Do this in remembrance of Me.”
I will always be with you.
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Good shepherds love.
That’s the message I perceived from all these events and thoughts. And we are all called to be good shepherds.
I went to confession last week, and my words there focused
on those times when I heard God’s voice --- and I recognized it --- and it
spurred me to actions which, in retrospect, largely suited my own desires and ways. Looking back, I wasn’t too far removed from
the shepherd of the novel, aware that action is called for, but unwilling to
trust God to lead. I applied my own
value judgments, which most often focused on satisfying me.
My penance, said Fr. Steve:
“Go into the chapel and say repeatedly:
Jesus I love You; Jesus I trust in You.”
Old people need to repeat things so they don’t forget (Fr. Steve didn’t
say that.)
Good shepherds love.
The focus is not on themselves, but others. The good shepherd accepts a hard life; he is
not focused on himself, but on loving God and his neighbor --- like Jesus, like
Deacon Jones, like my friends present for their dying loved ones.
Being a good shepherd is confidently knowing that God is in
control, always with us as we walk the path of life; He told us so. Being a good shepherd is giving up our need
to lead, to be always right. Being a
good shepherd is always remembering to trust in Him, even when the wolves seem
at the door.
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On Corpus Christi Sunday morning, I read this hymn in the
Liturgy of the Hours. It pretty well
summarized all these thoughts:
Lord, who at your
first Eucharist did pray
That all your Church might be for ever one,
Grant us at every Eucharist to say
With longing heart and soul, “Your will be done.”
O may we all one bread, one body be,
Through this blest Sacrament of Unity.
For all your Church,
we intercede;
O make our lack of charity to cease;
Draw us the nearer each to each, we plead,
By drawing all to you, O Prince of Peace;
Thus may we all one bread, one body be,
Through this blest Sacrament of Unity.
We pray then, too, for
wand’rers from your fold;
O bring them back, good Shepherd of the sheep,
Back to the faith which saints believed of old,
Back to the Church which still that faith does keep;
Soon may we all one bread, one body be,
Through this blest Sacrament of Unity.
So, Lord, at length
when sacraments shall cease,
May we be one with all your Church above,
One with your saints in one unending peace,
One with your saints in one unbounded love,
More blessed still in peace and love to be
One with the Trinity in Unity.
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