What Do You Want, Lord?

But the serpent said to the woman, “you will not die.” – Gn 3:4

The devil said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, command
this stone to become bread.” – Lk 4:3

His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever He tells you.” – Jn 2:5

And a voice came out of the cloud saying, “This
is my Son, my Chosen, listen to Him!” – Lk 9:35

I heard earlier this week that Fr. John Riccardo’s father had died.  The well-known former-CEO of Chrysler would obviously have a huge funeral, and so I did not plan to attend it.  Rather, I’d do what I often do for friends; I’d have some masses said for Fr. John’s dad.

I filled out a mass card and on Friday addressed it to Fr. John, informing him of the prayers being said by some monks for his father.  I drove to the mail drop box in town, and as I was about to drop the envelope into the mail slot …. I stopped.

I thought:  “This is silly.  Fr. John’s parish office is only a block from here!”  And so I drove to the office, went in, and handed the card to the secretary, but before I could leave she asked me: “Have you seen the movie, ‘Risen?’”  “No,” I responded, and she went on to tell me that the parish had bought out a local theatre for Saturday night and tickets were only $8 each.  (And my mind freaked out: I don’t particularly like going to movies; Saturday is my adoration night; who would I go with anyway?), as I said: “Sure, I’d love to take a couple of tickets.”  Later Friday evening I asked a friend to join me at the movie, but she said she wasn’t interested, and so I thought that, well, maybe I’ll just end up tossing the tickets.

Then Saturday morning I arrived early for my usual breakfast with an old friend.  There was a young waitress in the restaurant I hadn’t seen before, and after getting my coffee she saw me reading my morning prayers and asked if I were reading the Bible.  She then went on to say that she hadn’t been to church in a while: “I went to Catholic elementary school, but I don’t know what I believe or don’t believe anymore.”  That seemed like quite a bit to drop on a stranger, but I offered: “Well, the local parish has a Theology on Tap night at a local bar, where people get together to talk about spiritual matters, maybe that could answer some of your questions.”  “Yeh, I might do that,” she said, and she went away to wait on another customer.  But a few minutes later she was back again, standing by my table, and again speaking of her spiritual voids.  And then I recalled the tickets in my wallet:  “Do you like movies?”  She responded with an enthusiastic yes, and so I gave her the tickets to Risen, refusing her offer to pay for them.  She smiled widely and thanked me profusely, as she went off to wait on other customers.

There was a shift change, and another waitress took over for her.  She was gone.

“Fr. John’s father died, ……. She thanked me profusely.”  How did we go from one to the other?  Will the young woman hear some whispers of the Holy Spirit from our conversation or perhaps the movie?  Will this chain of events, from a tragedy to perhaps some good, carry on beyond my knowledge?  One thing I do know:  this is not something I had planned.  Did God?

The opening Scripture quotes of this posting had the devil saying: “Listen to me,” and then we read of those who loved Jesus saying: “Listen to Him.”  How do we know who to listen to?  How do we know who is asking?

The last night of our parish mission week had Sr. Ann Shields speaking on mercy.  (She is a great speaker, and we are blessed to have her as a member of our parish.)  Sr. Ann told the true story of how one cold rainy night she was pumping gas, and water came pouring down on her from a leak in the roof over her pump.  “I stood there pumping gas, getting wetter, getting colder, and getting madder,” she said.  “I was steamed!!  So when my tank finally was full I stormed toward the service station office, put my hand on the door to yank it open …. When suddenly I heard a voice in my head: Remember who you are, it said.”  Sr. Ann said she paused, and then walked into the station and turned to the man behind the counter.  “And before I said a word, he leaned over the counter and softly said: Who are you?”

Sr. Ann said she was shocked, and began to blubber: “Well, I’m Sr. Ann Shields; I work across the street at Renewal Ministries, and ….”  And then the man related to her how he had seen her outside in the bad weather, and suddenly recalled that things were pretty bad in his life, and he needed to get to church and pray.

Sr. Ann said that she was all bundled up that night, no sister’s garb or cross showing, “yet somehow I reminded him to seek God.  What do you think would have happened if I had come storming into that station, angry, ranting and raving?”  And then her voice went very soft: “God uses us,” she said, “in ways we don’t plan or understand, if we let Him.  The key is humility, being willing to let go of our plans, so He can use us for His.”  We don’t have to make any great plans to serve God.  We may not see any great results of our efforts.  It may even appear our prayers are not being answered.  The key is humility.  As St. Paul prayed: “Not my will, Lord, but Thy will be done.”  As Samuel said: “Speak Lord, Your servant is listening.”  We need to remember who we are.

My little action was only getting a condolence card for Fr. John, and well, who knows what that decision will result in.  Sr. Ann’s decision was to control her anger; who knows what that resulted in? 

God knows.

Were either of our actions an answer to some particular prayer we said?  No.  Were our actions a part of some big plan of ours?  No.  Did our prayer life, our studying of Jesus’ life up to this point condition us to know and act somewhat as Jesus would have?  I think so.  Did our soul hear His small still voice, and listen?

“What do You want, Lord,” is a question we all want to ask, and want answered.  But perhaps the bigger question is:  “Are we listening?”

Teach me to look at myself with Your eyes
-- Divine Intimacy, P295