Why Should I Compromise?

The Alpha Study group was discussing the question:  What is faith?  Along the way, I brought up the story of how some people may learn a method of seeing truth by a different path than us, using the example of someone counting to 9 fingers on his hands. (See http://do-not-be-anxious.blogspot.com/2010/10/suffering-servant.html.)  I explained how it is a growth in maturity if we can accept that some people count things differently than us, and not be angry or righteous about it.  And I noted that it is a growth in wisdom if you can perceive that perhaps it is you who count to 9 fingers on your two hands, blind to your errors of sight.

But if we can accept that there may be two ways of seeing the same truth, how do we speak of the matter?  Well, one way, on trivial matters, is to agree to disagree, and simply avoid the topic.  But a more important, life changing way, is compromise.

In a compromise, each side (or view) of an issue obtains something it wants, and willingly cedes something it also wants.  The key word is “willingly”, not begrudgingly.  It was Dr. Charles Stanley who wrote: “Humility is essential for salvation.”  Humility is a giving up of “I know I am right, and you are not.”  For those who still know history, there was a time when our country leaders couldn’t agree on what each side thought to be a key truth:  is slavery right?  Unlike our present leaders, they reached a compromise on this key issue, called the Missouri Compromise, and because of it one state entered the Union as a state allowing slavery, and another entered not allowing slavery.  Neither side changed their beliefs about slavery, but they reached a compromise, to move ahead on a critical issue.

There are some people who say some critical issues cannot be compromised:  there is truth versus error; there is forgivable sins and unforgivable sins.  Matters of faith are often deemed un-compromise-able:  Allah is not a father; Jesus is God; the angel told Smith bigamy was permitted, or there is no god.  Direct discussion on these key beliefs often leads to anger, and to short conversations.  What is forgotten in history, like the forgotten Missouri Compromise, is that all matters of faith in God (or not) began with compromise.

At its heart, compromise recognizes two things:  life is complex, and life is ever changing.  To the first thing, in compromise a child might say: “Okay, I’ll eat my vegetables --- so I can get dessert.”  To the second thing a child might say: “When I grow up, I’m never eating vegetables again.”  Of course, when the child grows up, he is wiser and likely learns to like at least some vegetables, perhaps cooked HIS way.  And the slave state of the Missouri Compromise no longer allows slaves.  Things change.  The good end-results in these examples came about because the earlier compromises enabled people to go on, together.  (Wouldst that our present politicians could be as wise as children who learn the value of compromise.)

Many doctrines of faith are accepted in compromise.  Many saints came into the Catholic Church totally accepting “most” of its truths --- except that focus on Mary, or except for papal infallibility, or except for …. whatever.  They went along with what they found hard to believe, in part because of so many other things they did believe.  Many Catholics started even as atheists, or well-educated scientists, doctors, or philosophers who knew, of course, that there is no god.  But then they noticed other scientists, doctors, or philosophers --- lots of them, in fact --- did believe in God, and they wondered how these intelligent people could believe that, because of course they knew there was no god.  Then, in effect, they were wise enough to consider that they might be counting to 9 fingers on their hands; perhaps they weren’t seeing things right.  And they compromised; they willingly chose to see through the other person’s eyes.

Jesus compromised.  How else could He eat with sinners?  Every time He forgave sin, He compromised, as did the sinner.  He accepted into His arms someone who had been choosing to reject Him, and the sinner chose to, RESOLVED TO, go on a path of no sin, giving up the pleasures he got from sin.  They both compromised.  Usually the road to compromise starts along the path of agreement, discussions of things agreed --- the likely start of those dinners Jesus attended.  Friendly discussions lead to friendships, which make compromises easier to discuss.  In the heat of an argument is not the time to seek compromises.  (See the reflection on “dysfunctional families” at Christmas dinner at http://do-not-be-anxious.blogspot.com/2017/12/christmas-dinner-with-family.html)

God is perfect love, but every earthly love is a compromise.  It is the fool who marries and says “I do” expecting he will change the disagreeable habits of his spouse.  Marriage is a compromise.  Every person is different, like a unique instrument; each plays a different tune.  Yet many widely diverse instruments and sounds can come together in harmony, making beautiful music --- as long as we don’t just focus on one instrument or another, believing the others in some way ruin the sound.

Faith is a compromise; it is never saying never.  We cry in our belief: “That can’t be,” but in compromise we cry in our unbelief: “I believe”.  We believe in faith, until we believe in truth, until we can believe the unbelievable, and give praise to God for being the light in our darkness.

Compromise IS NOT an agreement to disagree, although it may start out that way.  Compromise allows you to start out, together, and then grow together.  The Alpha group discussed “What is faith?”  They considered it in terms of what a person believes or comes to accept, but spiritual faith is not what I or you believe, but what WE believe, together:  God and man, man and neighbor.

What is hindering me from following Jesus’ path for my life in this world, with my neighbor?  Compromise?  Am I saying: “I will never compromise”?  Are we our own roadblock to spiritual growth?

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Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief.

A Dirty Story

The Parable of the Sower is a story about what is, with perhaps a little of what should be thrown in.  Jesus is certainly the sower of His seeds, His words, which should grow in us and others.  And we should imitate Him, also sowing His word.  And where that seed lands, well, He describes different types of soil, one of which probably describes us.  While this tale of what happens when He (or we) sow His word is true, it is also true that this is only a snapshot of, an incident, in the bigger story --- what happens next.

For the seed that hits the good soil, the story is only starting, kind of like the “I do” vow starts a marriage.  Then comes growth --- furthered along by continued care --- and a reaching of greater spiritual maturity.  But that isn’t the end of the story either, for from the good tree comes fruit, which feeds others in their growth, or falls to the ground to start other new growths.  As Jesus said, if the tree bears no fruit, you might as well cut it down.  The point of the seed being sown is the fruit at the end.

I think we often forget that untold part of the Parable of the Sower:  it ultimately must yield good fruit, or it was a waste of effort.  And the fruit only happens when the tree reaches a spiritual maturity --- after getting the word to sprout in our hearts, so we must continue to fertilize its growth.

But there is even more untold truth in the Parable.  What about those soils in the story that ultimately yield no sprouting or growth from the seed --- the bad soils?  What if WE are bad soils for the seed of His word??

The hard soils are our hard hearts.  Wisdom and love bounce off hard hearts.  Hard hearts know everything already and reject others’ ideas --- even God’s --- and hard hearts reject love, because they want no one else in their lives.  People, they think, can only bring hurt to them.

But even the hardest hearts, those of solid rock, are not immune to God’s work on them.  I myself have seen some slammed by His sledgehammer, and all their confidence in their ideas and their self-sufficiency shattered in an instant.  But I’ve also seen works in progress: whether we want to or not, all life grows and changes.  Hard rains and rivers and glaciers can erode away the hardest rocks over time, or they can be melted by the sudden volcanic fires of life.  Weak soils, the thinnest sands, which cannot hold a toothpick upright, can be strengthened by soft rains and a gentle spreading of roots from a seed, grasping the soil together.  And growth came come to the most unlikely places.  That’s the example of the bigger picture of the seed and the soil --- they need each other, and together they create something new, something bigger than either of them: something that will last.

And that’s the dirty story of human life.  If we live it alone, as a rock or as sand, we may choose to change little or just get blown around, but we won’t last the way we are, despite our best efforts.  In the end, all our solo efforts can lead to is perhaps a gravestone over our heads, which will also disappear someday.

Or, we can open our hearts, capture a seed, nourish it, and last forever.

Every life story can have a happy ending --- in eternity.  It starts with making our soils ready, and capturing the word.

We Need a Children's March?

There was a Right-to-Life March in Washington (and other cities) again this year, calling for an end to abortion in this country.  On a different day was a different march, to celebrate “the Right to Choose” --- directly opposed to the Right-to-Life but afraid to call itself a Right-to-Death March.  We often cloud our mind with softer words when facing harsh realities.  It occurred to me, however, that both sides of “the issue” are not “THE issue”.  The right of a child to live is the issue --- or a blob of tissue to turn into a child, if you prefer other words --- so, shouldn’t there be a children’s march: “WE have a Right to Life”?

Now certainly this whole debate is clouded by a most basic disagreement:  who creates life.  Some say God; some say man.  The latter group will try to talk about scientific facts, but any biologist will tell you that man has never created life from nothing, and like the question “What was before the Big Bang?” the question of “What caused the first life form on earth?” has never been definitely answered by science.  Man has never created something out of nothing, and never will.  Man is not God.  Some auto workers say: “We create cars,” but all they really do is assemble cars from materials given to them.  Man and woman “making a baby” are no different.  The auto worker has no right to destroy a car because he assembled it, nor does a man or woman --- or the two in agreement --- have a right to destroy a baby.  They don’t own it.  They make a baby’s life possible, but they are not the creators of that life.

But enough of such philosophy and theology, what about “The Life”, the child?  Certainly, it seems fairest that the children, the ones who survived at any rate, should have the most say about “Rights to Die” --- or be killed.  But then I think about all the other things “modern man” is dumping on children: “You need to choose your sex, and your associated clothes, and your associated bathroom, and, and, and, and.  There are so many life-changing things we are telling children they must choose --- life changing!!

THEY ARE CHILDREN!!!

What part of those three words don’t “adults” understand?  We recognize the importance of maturity in some decisions and responsibilities:  You can’t drive; you can’t smoke; you can’t drink; you can’t vote; you can’t join the military (or be drafted), and you can’t run for elected office --- until you reach a certain age of maturity.  Yet the same adults who demand maturity in these important decisions say children should make even more important decisions, decisions which will impact their whole life.  Adults say children should make these decisions in their immature years, as if these decisions were less important than, for example, deciding to have a single glass of beer, or smoke a cigarette.

No, children shouldn’t be marching on Washington, choosing their sex, or deciding if they should live or die.  Mature decisions require maturity --- or at least they used to in this country.  But now it seems the “adult kids” want to see (and be) permanent kids, always playing games, making what used to be children’s make-believe stories their reality.

And, yet, these who make us consider such fantasies, can’t imagine there is a God.

When I was a child there used to be jokes about “the inmates running the asylum”, but no one ever wanted to be the inmates.  How (sadly) times change.

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In the state of Michigan, there has been much “news” about the 150 girls abused by their athletic physician.  Everyone seems shocked that it could go on, but I am not surprised.  When we teach kids in our public schools, at a very young age, that “it’s only sex”, why should we be surprised it is treated lightly as they grow up?  Why did so many girls not report this “only sex” action?  Why did many of their parents, of those who were informed, view the sexual activities less important than their daughter’s athletic success?

We used to view it the parent’s responsibility to raise their children to be Godly adults, now we view it the school’s responsibility to raise them as “successful” adults.  As a country, we used to believe that a life well-lived ended in heaven.  And now?

Now, I continue to pray for our country.  I don’t pontificate that I know answers to our situation, and I try not to judge, but I will pray, and trust. And hearing all the “news”, pray some more.