Why Should I Compromise?

The Alpha Study group was discussing the question:  What is faith?  Along the way, I brought up the story of how some people may learn a method of seeing truth by a different path than us, using the example of someone counting to 9 fingers on his hands. (See http://do-not-be-anxious.blogspot.com/2010/10/suffering-servant.html.)  I explained how it is a growth in maturity if we can accept that some people count things differently than us, and not be angry or righteous about it.  And I noted that it is a growth in wisdom if you can perceive that perhaps it is you who count to 9 fingers on your two hands, blind to your errors of sight.

But if we can accept that there may be two ways of seeing the same truth, how do we speak of the matter?  Well, one way, on trivial matters, is to agree to disagree, and simply avoid the topic.  But a more important, life changing way, is compromise.

In a compromise, each side (or view) of an issue obtains something it wants, and willingly cedes something it also wants.  The key word is “willingly”, not begrudgingly.  It was Dr. Charles Stanley who wrote: “Humility is essential for salvation.”  Humility is a giving up of “I know I am right, and you are not.”  For those who still know history, there was a time when our country leaders couldn’t agree on what each side thought to be a key truth:  is slavery right?  Unlike our present leaders, they reached a compromise on this key issue, called the Missouri Compromise, and because of it one state entered the Union as a state allowing slavery, and another entered not allowing slavery.  Neither side changed their beliefs about slavery, but they reached a compromise, to move ahead on a critical issue.

There are some people who say some critical issues cannot be compromised:  there is truth versus error; there is forgivable sins and unforgivable sins.  Matters of faith are often deemed un-compromise-able:  Allah is not a father; Jesus is God; the angel told Smith bigamy was permitted, or there is no god.  Direct discussion on these key beliefs often leads to anger, and to short conversations.  What is forgotten in history, like the forgotten Missouri Compromise, is that all matters of faith in God (or not) began with compromise.

At its heart, compromise recognizes two things:  life is complex, and life is ever changing.  To the first thing, in compromise a child might say: “Okay, I’ll eat my vegetables --- so I can get dessert.”  To the second thing a child might say: “When I grow up, I’m never eating vegetables again.”  Of course, when the child grows up, he is wiser and likely learns to like at least some vegetables, perhaps cooked HIS way.  And the slave state of the Missouri Compromise no longer allows slaves.  Things change.  The good end-results in these examples came about because the earlier compromises enabled people to go on, together.  (Wouldst that our present politicians could be as wise as children who learn the value of compromise.)

Many doctrines of faith are accepted in compromise.  Many saints came into the Catholic Church totally accepting “most” of its truths --- except that focus on Mary, or except for papal infallibility, or except for …. whatever.  They went along with what they found hard to believe, in part because of so many other things they did believe.  Many Catholics started even as atheists, or well-educated scientists, doctors, or philosophers who knew, of course, that there is no god.  But then they noticed other scientists, doctors, or philosophers --- lots of them, in fact --- did believe in God, and they wondered how these intelligent people could believe that, because of course they knew there was no god.  Then, in effect, they were wise enough to consider that they might be counting to 9 fingers on their hands; perhaps they weren’t seeing things right.  And they compromised; they willingly chose to see through the other person’s eyes.

Jesus compromised.  How else could He eat with sinners?  Every time He forgave sin, He compromised, as did the sinner.  He accepted into His arms someone who had been choosing to reject Him, and the sinner chose to, RESOLVED TO, go on a path of no sin, giving up the pleasures he got from sin.  They both compromised.  Usually the road to compromise starts along the path of agreement, discussions of things agreed --- the likely start of those dinners Jesus attended.  Friendly discussions lead to friendships, which make compromises easier to discuss.  In the heat of an argument is not the time to seek compromises.  (See the reflection on “dysfunctional families” at Christmas dinner at http://do-not-be-anxious.blogspot.com/2017/12/christmas-dinner-with-family.html)

God is perfect love, but every earthly love is a compromise.  It is the fool who marries and says “I do” expecting he will change the disagreeable habits of his spouse.  Marriage is a compromise.  Every person is different, like a unique instrument; each plays a different tune.  Yet many widely diverse instruments and sounds can come together in harmony, making beautiful music --- as long as we don’t just focus on one instrument or another, believing the others in some way ruin the sound.

Faith is a compromise; it is never saying never.  We cry in our belief: “That can’t be,” but in compromise we cry in our unbelief: “I believe”.  We believe in faith, until we believe in truth, until we can believe the unbelievable, and give praise to God for being the light in our darkness.

Compromise IS NOT an agreement to disagree, although it may start out that way.  Compromise allows you to start out, together, and then grow together.  The Alpha group discussed “What is faith?”  They considered it in terms of what a person believes or comes to accept, but spiritual faith is not what I or you believe, but what WE believe, together:  God and man, man and neighbor.

What is hindering me from following Jesus’ path for my life in this world, with my neighbor?  Compromise?  Am I saying: “I will never compromise”?  Are we our own roadblock to spiritual growth?

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Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief.