This, Too, Will Pass

I had dinner last night with a friend of recent years.  During the evening she referenced how I sometimes described my life as consisting of phases, some key ways of living that defined my life.  I had spoken of how I perceived four or five phases of my life, one ending and another beginning, often with some overlap, and almost always with some chaos at the change.  New phases were thrust upon me, not chosen, and I often fought them, not understanding why things couldn’t continue as they had been.  Even if I didn’t consider my life wonderful, still, I feared change, the unknown.  And then, of course, there were always those little problems and pains as happen in every life, at which I often wondered: “Do I fight this problem, to get back to the way things were?  Is this a problem to be overcome, or one to bear with, and trust in God?  Is this the start of a new phase of my life, which I need to try to understand, and to live through the problem?”

My friend said “You know, I’ve looked at my life as proceeding through some major phases also, but you were the first person I ever heard state what I believed.  I think that’s why I like you as a friend.  You understand the big things, and so can help me get through the little ones, just by being my friend.

I was humbled.

Around me I see much chaos.  In the Catholic Church, in our country, in the lives of my friends.  Each organization or person seems to think the chaos they are enduring is a life-changing, critical thing, but is it?  Is the problem something to be fixed, to get back to the prior norm, or is it the chaos at the start of a new phase of life?  There is no easy answer to that question.  But it is important, I believe, to know that we don’t face our problems alone, because if we think we do, there will truly be no solution for us.

It is good to have a friend, not one who jumps in to say: “Okay, here’s what you need to do to fix this problem” --- this problem which may never before have occurred in your life, or theirs either.  No, it is good to have a friend who can listen to your problems, hold your hand, and pray with you and for you.  I coordinate a Caregiver’s Support Group, and that’s basically what we try to do there.

It’s also good to be able to speak to God.  What’s really wonderful about God is that He IS that friend Who will listen.  He knows whether your present crisis is something to be lived through and borne as a cross, until things get back to normal, or it is the beginning of a new phase in your life.  In either case, He knows that this crisis will pass, and He can see the peace returning to your life.

And He will be there.

Whether you will continue on this present phase of your life after this crisis (and likely more to come), or whether you will be adjusting to a new phase of your life, He will be there.

That’s why quiet prayer is so important, a time when He can hold your hand.  Screaming out loud during a scary movie doesn’t stop the reel; it just gives you a temporary release of emotions.  The story doesn’t stop.  Panic doesn’t stop our life story either, nor does making believe a problem doesn’t exist.  These things happen in our life, in every life.  They are to be lived through, and holding the hand of a friend helps.

You are not alone.  Know that.  Even if our trials and confusions are the start of a new phase of our life --- even if that phase should be eternal life --- the panic will pass; the pain will pass.  And you will not be alone.

Know that.  Trust in that.