I Want to be Like God

The man who tends my grounds, a former neighbor whom I have helped for many years, called tonight: “My doctor called me with the test results.  I have spurs and crushed discs in my spine; they may paralyze me.  Will you take me to meet with the surgeon?  I’m scared.”

In the past week I’ve heard from a friend; she’s making what seems --- to me --- to be an unwise decision in her life, acting on emotion.  Another friend isn’t making a critical decision in her life, as she prays for guidance and is scared --- and angry.  Another person whose life has greatly improved with God’s help through me called for a ride to the store, “And I’ll need some money for my bills.”  And then, I’ve heard from my Godchild, who called me in tears because of the hand life has dealt her.

I so strongly want to fix all these things.  I pray for God to help these people who cross my path, and yet I know He has bestowed many blessings on me.  I can fix or ease many of their problems!  With my wisdom, I can make many better decisions than they can; I can tell them what choices they should make.  I can give them money.  I know a better way.

I so want to do these things a loving God would do, to ease their pains and sorrows.  Or, would He?

“When am I an instrument of God’s will?” is the question.  Am I acting with the compassion and mercy of God when I dictate the solutions to others’ problems?  Am I using my talents to their fullest?  I’ve always been told that I can have anything I want in this world; all I have to do is go out and work for it.  Doesn’t that apply to the deliberate work of loving my neighbor?

Another thing I’ve always been told is that I should pray for the gifts of the Holy Spirit; they were promised to us, if we sincerely desire them.  I have always prayed for the gift of Wisdom, to know the will of God for me so that I can do His will.  In many matters, I know He has often bestowed that Gift on me; I’ve written about some of those blessings.  But the Wisdom of God is not a one time or constant event --- “Here it is; you’ve got it.”  Rather, it is a sporadic and growing thing; we can never fully know the mind of God in this life.  No matter how much I want to be like God, I am still learning what God is like.

One of the things I’ve learned about God recently, is an understanding that God is not a repairman we call to fix all our problems --- as we perceive them.  If we, in our wisdom, were to perceive that some part on our car was causing us to have a reduced gas mileage, we could ask God to remove the part (or do it ourselves) --- but we might not know that removing that part may have a negative impact on its function to reduce pollution or increase our safety, more important things than a few cents saved in gasoline costs.  What we see as a problem, like with the car part example, sometimes isn’t the total picture, which God can see.  So sometimes He lets the problem continue, for a reason we cannot see or understand.  BUT, there is a reason for suffering; God does not act randomly.  And very often God’s wisdom and merciful solution to our problem is to not fix it as we ask Him to, but to be there with us in our sufferings and sadness, as a friend.  It’s like when we go to a funeral; our presence is a comfort to our friends.

I want to be like God; what I am learning is that God doesn’t fix everything --- least of all the way I would fix things.  Often God is just with us in our sorrows, as a friend.  If I TRULY want to be like God, THAT is the God I must grow more like, the compassionate, caring One.  I need to put aside my ego and my pride that I know the solution to my friends’ problems, and as God would, just be there with them in their sorrows.

And that is a most hard thing to do, to be like God, to love as He does.

The people who called me, in the opening paragraphs, call me as a friend, not a God to fix all their problems.  I need to remember that.

The Christian life is the continuation and completion of the life of Christ in us.  We should be so many Christs here on earth, continuing His life and His works, laboring and suffering.
                                                -- St. John Eudes

“Other people may be satisfied with exterior success, with a hefty ‘bottom line.’  Christ is interested in every line.

Christ in My Life 
You care about what happens in my mind and my heart --- where only You and I can see.  Help me look there now; show me what is pleasing to You and what is not, and then change what is not.  Please, Lord --- You know I can’t do it on my own.  You know how self-centered and wounded I am.  If You don’t change my heart, it will never change.  Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart more like Yours.

-          The Better Part  Meditation 14.