My Purpose

A man in the crowd said to Him, “Master, tell my brother
to give me a share of our inheritance.”  “My friend,” He replied,
“who appointed Me your judge or the arbitrator of your claims?”
--Lk 12:13

My prayer time tonight (Saturday) began with thoughts of the world.  I let my mind wander to the temptations and sins of power, whether political or priestly, power over others.  The temptation to use that power for self is huge, to direct the lives of others to get what we want, not what they need (and sometimes what we want is sinful).  And I thought whoever can’t resist that temptation should resign from the position of power over others --- but then, I thought, who would be left?

The Gospel today (excerpt above), and reflections in The Better Part, brought my mind to a better track.  Jesus says “my friend”, and then says I’m not going to lead your life for you.  The “friend” asked for help, and Jesus said no, giving us an example of how we should lead our lives. 

“He directs all His words and actions to laying the foundations of His Eternal Kingdom.  We too are called to make the Eternal Kingdom our first priority … Was He just being polite by saying “friend”?  Maybe.  But maybe He was saying exactly what He meant: ‘I have come to be the true Friend and Savior of your soul, which doesn’t always include managing your bank account for you.  You can count on Me to give you light, guidance, and strength, and to walk with you along life’s path, but still you must walk.

Christ in My Life.  I get sidetracked too easily.  Sometimes I feel like the salvation of the whole world, the resolution of every conflict, the righting of every wrong is up to me.  But it’s not --- it’s up to You, Lord.  And You give me a share of Your work.  Help me to be serenely and energetically focused on my mission as You were on Yours.  Teach me to do Your will …”

Those reflections from The Better Part seemed a continuation of my thoughts of yesterday, on Peter’s words saying how we need to build a good spiritual foundation in our lives, and then use that foundation to go out into the world with affection and love, to better our spiritual lives and those of whom we meet.  A good spiritual foundation doesn’t set us up to “for their own good” take from others, or lead their lives.  Those are really just temptations to do things for ourselves, even as Satan fell to the temptation to try to be like God.  Living lives with affection and love is living Christ-like lives, for the benefit of others.  But, as this Gospel and reflections point out, it is not affection or love if we try to lead others’ lives.  They “must walk” and bear the responsibilities of their lives.

But what if they can’t?  There’s that temptation again: “But I can direct them to lead better lives” --- in my opinion.  And what if I have the power to do that; shouldn’t I?

I coordinate a caregiver’s support group meeting each month.  The question is often asked, especially by new members of the group, about how independent should I allow my mentally or physically ill loved one to be, versus taking control of their life.  And equally important is the question other attendees must ask themselves before they respond: “I’ve been a caregiver; I’ve walked in this person’s shoes; should I tell them ‘Here’s what you must do?’”  Over the years the group has come to a general consensus on how to relate to one another, and the question of controlling others’ lives.  That issue of controlling is such a temptation that there is a commandment about it.  The Fourth Commandment says to “Honor thy father and mother, that you may have eternal life.”  At a certain point, it is an obligation to take control of our parents’ lives, when they cannot, in honoring them and loving them.  Other commandments speak to loving God and neighbor, and limiting things we might want to do for ourselves, if we had the power to do so.  But none commands us to be as successful or rich as we can be, or as powerful, nor controlling.  I have reflected and written before about how the blessings of intelligence, money and beauty are also curses, in that they create great temptations to use those blessings to take control over others’ actions, to get what we want, to do “what I know is right”, to acting like God.

It certainly is not controlling someone else’s life, and feeding our sense of power, to stop them from walking off the edge of a cliff.  It IS controlling, however, to prevent them from walking out into the countryside, because of risks there, perhaps even cliffs.  And sometimes it may be hard to judge how close to the edge they are.  This Gospel and St. Peter’s words give us some targets and boundaries to reflect and pray upon, and ask:  Lord, what is Your will?  How should I love my neighbor?  What is my purpose?