Am I Teachable?

 

It is often said that someone is “set in their ways”.  What does that mean?  Certainly, at any moment we are unique persons, different from anyone else, even different from who we were earlier in our lives.  But today, when we are “set” in our ways, are we set as concrete, changeable only with a chisel and much work, or as wax which can be melted and molded by the flame of God’s love?  This Advent we should spend some time reflecting in prayer, talking with God, about what “set” us to be who we now are, and what He’d like us to grow to be.

Was our present “self” caused by people who abused us, or times when we were neglected or ignored?  Or, did we get “set” gradually as events of our lives hardened us in our ways?  Are we sometimes angry things aren’t going our ways, even angry with God? 

Spend time in prayer this Advent talking to God about who we are, and what we want to be.  And then sincerely ask: “And what do You want me to be?”  Advent is a time for preparation of Jesus’ coming.  It means not just changing decorations in our houses, but changing us.  It is a time for not just giving presents, but reflecting on the ones which have been given to us, and with hope, even expecting more.

Often our prayers are telling Jesus what we want to make us happy.  Those are like the prayers of little children.  Real adults recognize that they are not alone in the world and Jesus is hearing not just their prayers, so adult prayers include others.  It is hard to get to a spiritual level of being where we try to love our neighbor as God does, and making it a focus of our prayers.  We need to talk to God about that, and listen.  And with His help, change our ways to be even better than we are today.

Teach me, Lord, to be who You created me to be in this hour.  Soften the hardness of my heart.

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I have been reluctant to enter closed buildings where other people might spread the virus to me.  A local parish offered parking lot masses this summer, where you could see the mass in front of you and hear it on the car radio.  Then a pyx was brought to you to distribute Communion.  It was a great way of participating in mass without having to risk being in a closed building.  But even better, I think, is that that parish offers parking lot confessions every Wednesday, where you form a line of cars and as a priest becomes available you park near his car and he listens to your confession in a corner of the parking lot, as you tell God (through the priest) your sins and ask His forgiveness, and discuss as necessary your resolve to repent and change.  These outdoor confessions will continue through the winter, or the virus is stopped.  Talking to another person about our failings and hearing forgiveness said aloud is a unique sacrament and blessing. 

My parish makes communion available outside the church after mass 3 days a week.  I participate in masses broadcast on television each day. Confession, Communion, and mass are all bringing Christ to me.  I yearn to do those things within His church building and with others, but for now He comes to me.  “In the darkness, there is light.”

I could be upset at all I cannot do because of this virus, but I have learned to be thankful for what I can do.  It’s taken me a while to get to this place, but I am teachable, as I await His next lesson.

Jesus, I trust in You.