It's All About Us

Driving Westward toward the church for morning mass this morn, I once again saw the beauty of God’s Light, as the passing road and buildings around me were still shadowy, yet the top half of the trees in front of me were brilliantly lit by the rising sun behind me.  I said a prayer, then, for the beauty of creation, and the gift of my life.

The words of my subsequent Morning Prayers, the mass and the monsignor’s sermon, all seemed to naturally flow with those earlier feelings.  When it came the time for communion, I watched as row after row of people joined the center aisle communion line.  I was the only person in my pew, and as the last person from the pew in front of me joined the center line, suddenly a young boy came up and entered the center aisle line in front of me.  There were two communion lines and, (I assumed) his mother was in the other line holding a baby.  The young boy in front of me held a plastic animal character in each hand, and as the line moved forward, he had each of his animals walk on the pew edge in front of him.  When he reached the front of the communion line, the monsignor blessed the young boy, who then held up his two arms, and the monsignor blessed each of the animal characters he held.  And in my heart, I felt a deep joy: this is how He loves His little children.  And receiving communion myself, I felt strongly God’s love for me too.

Back in my pew, I gave Him praise and thanksgiving.  Then, I picked up a card containing the Prayer After Holy Communion, as composed by Padre Pio, and there I read:  Stay with me, Lord, for You are my life and without You I am without fervor.  Stay with me, Lord, for You are my Light, and without You I am in darkness.  And at that moment the rising sun began shining through the church window, directly on my face.  In the sun’s brightness I could no longer see the prayer card I held, but I knew there was nothing else to be said in prayer, and so I just listened.

Driving home from mass, the Catholic radio station was playing Deacon Tom Lowe’s Notes From Above music show.  And Deacon Tom said: “And this next tune was played at Al Kresta’s funeral (the station’s founder and a very beloved man).  It is titled Gratitude, and is sung by Brandon Lake:” It begins:

All my words fall short
I got nothing new
How could I express
All my gratitude.

 
I could sing these songs
As I often do
But every song must end
And You never do.

 
So I throw up my hands
And praise You again and again
‘Cause all that I have is a hallelujah
Hallelujah
And I know it’s not much
But I’ve got nothing else fit for a King
Except for a heart singing hallelujah
Hallelujah.

So many things to be grateful for at the start of this day, the blessings of the past, the blessings I see all around me this day, and (I am sure) the glorious blessings of the future.  Why focus on the bad and the darkness?  The Light is all about us --- not “about us” as in I’m so important, it’s all about me, but rather “about us”, as in It’s everywhere!! How can we not see the goodness, the never-ending Love of God all around us??  It’s ALL ABOUT us.    

Why Keep Asking?

 

I think there are some people who ask God for something, and when they don’t promptly receive what they asked for, their faith weakens.  It’s as if their time in prayer were money:  why spend it for something and receive nothing in return?  In general, the answer to their concerns is that God DOES answer prayers, in His time and in His way.  Be patient and trust.  But yesterday I had some friends who DID believe in Jesus’ response to that, and how He told us to just keep asking. 

Yesterday, the prayer group was stating prayer intentions before our prayer time, and many stated concerns about the upcoming election and the various aspects of it.  And I grew frustrated (another thing to confess) at the details.  But their response was to say that Jesus called us to just keep asking about our concerns.  I could have rambled on and on in response to that (and to prove how right I was --- in my pride), but we proceeded on and prayed the prayer we had gathered for.  And I forgot about that interaction. 

This morning, I prayed a prayer I pray each morning --- or, perhaps I have grown cold and am just reading that prayer.  I make a Consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus each day; this is part of it:

Oh Jesus, we know that You love us
so much that You have given Your
Sacred Heart to us for our salvation.

We all love You and ask
You to protect us with Your
shepherd’s Heart from any sin.

Knock, keep knocking at the
door of our hearts, Oh Lord!
Be patient and persevering
with us, Oh Lord!

Our hearts are still closed
to You because we have not
understood Your wishes.

Knock continuously!

Oh, Good Jesus, make us open
our hearts to You, and remember
how much You have suffered for us.

I’m sure you noticed, as I did, the part of that prayer after the work “knock”.  Every day I pray this prayer to Jesus, to keep asking ME!  Yesterday, I was frustrated at those who were repeatedly asking Him in prayer, yet I pray every day for Him to keep asking ME.  Is that Pride with a capital “P” or what? 

Prayer is a communication between those who should be friends, but even human friends sometimes “don’t hear,” or, in love, don’t directly answer the question asked.  The true lover always seeks the benefit of the beloved, not himself.  And sometimes that benefit is conveyed in how you answer, or don’t answer his immediate concerns.   

What Should I Read?

 

On Saturday I chose to pick up and read a few words from My Imitation of Christ, the small book which sits on my coffee table.  (For many years, this was the most read book after the Bible.)  As usual, the words I read seemed to speak to me.  Then, I noticed a small bookmark there.  The words on it also seemed to speak to me ---- but I guess I ignored them, because this happened:

On Monday morning I read a couple of my usual early morning prayers, but for some reason (not a coincidence, I’m sure) I looked at the back cover of the booklet I was reading from, only to see AGAIN the reflection I had seen on Saturday.  Two totally different sources, the exact same reflection --- that I hadn’t noticed for years, but now saw both in a couple of days.

I’m guessing now, but I think that reflection was meant for me to see, now ---- or perhaps for you who are reading this.

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Before mass, I read this Reading from a letter to Proba by Saint Augustine (with my underlines):

Let us always desire the happy life from the Lord God and always pray for it.  But for this very reason we turn our mind to the task of prayer at appointed hours; since that desire grows lukewarm, so to speak, from our involvement in other concerns and occupations.  We recommend ourselves through the words of prayer to focus our attention on the object of our desire, otherwise, the desire that began to grow lukewarm may grow chill altogether and may be totally extinguished unless it is repeatedly stirred into flame.

Therefore, when the Apostle says Let your petitions become known before God, this should not be taken in the sense that they are in fact becoming known to God who certainly knew them even before they were made, but that they are becoming known to us before God through submission and not before men through boasting.

Since this is the case, it is not wrong or useless to pray even for a long time when there is the opportunity, I mean when it does not keep us from performing the other good and necessary actions we are obliged to do.  But even in these actions, as I have said, we must always pray with that desire.  To pray for a longer time is not the same as to pray by multiplying words, as some people suppose.  Lengthy talk is one thing, a prayerful disposition which lasts a long time is another.  For it is even written in reference to the Lord himself that he spent the night in prayer and that he prayed at great length.  Was he not giving us an example by this?  In time, he prays when it is appropriate, and in eternity, he hears our prayers with the Father.

The monks in Egypt are said to offer frequent prayers, but these are very short and hurled like swift javelins.  Otherwise their watchful attention, a very necessary quality for anyone at prayer, could be dulled and could disappear through protracted delays.  They also clearly demonstrate through this practice that a person must not quickly divert such attention if it lasts, just as one must not allow it to be blunted if it cannot last.

Excessive talking should be kept out of prayer but that does not mean that one should not spend much time in prayer so long as a fervent attitude continues to accompany his prayer.  To talk at length in prayer is to perform a necessary action with an excess of words.  To spend much time in prayer is to knock with a persistent and holy fervor at the door of the one whom we beseech.  This task is generally accomplished more through sighs than words, more through weeping than speech.  He places our tears in his sight, and our sighs are not hidden from him, for he has established all things through his Word and does not seek human words.

 

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And after mass later this morning, I was going to have breakfast, but then I heard them announce that there would be a rosary prayer after mass, and  thinking of the above, I thought I should take the time to pray, and I did.

Fat and Happy

 

The sun in the totally cloudless sky has been almost the common day of late; it is absolutely beautiful.  Yesterday evening, however, the huge rising moon challenged the sun in beauty.  The late fall harvest moon almost invited you to sing.  Certainly, it inspired me to reflect on many things.  But one thing I also thought of was that the local ice cream parlor was closing in a few days for the winter, and I had never stopped there this year.  So, I turned around and drove back and ordered whatever they liked to make --- it was a hot fudge and pastry sundae.  Yummy.  It was my dinner.  Okay, maybe not totally.  A bit later I had an urging for some protein, and so had some meatloaf.

Then, this morning as I left for church, I saw the huge sun in the clear Eastern sky again, but as I turned West there, at the exact same height and the seemingly exact same size, was a soft shadow of the moon.  I’m here too, it seemed to say.  What a beautiful start to the day.

After mass, I recalled that a friend had expressed some interest in a woman’s retreat that another friend was putting on.  So, I stopped home and got the flier and went to my friend’s office in downtown Plymouth.  But as I parked, I suddenly recalled the new Helen’s bakery which was only a couple of doors down.  So, I went in and bought samplings of all their custom cookies, pastries, and pies.  They all looked yummy, and were put in two boxes for me.  And at under $20, their prices almost outshine their pastries.  One box I took to my friend’s office, and the other I will take to my Bible Study meeting tomorrow morning.

I guess fat and happy is a good description of how things have been going for me of late.  I know, however, that whenever you are basking in consolations, you should be also be preparing for the inevitable desolations which will come at some point.  I know that.  But, at the moment, in my heart I am smiling at God’s goodness to me.

Sundaes, pastries, and sun and moon, yes, they all make me think of being fat and happy.

 

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And if things couldn’t get better, last week I had problems with my blog.  I couldn’t open it from Foxfire which I use for my access to the internet.  A message came up saying my cookies were out of sync.  I tried all sorts of ways to fix that, and finally gave up and went over to the computer geeks at the local computer store.  They couldn’t fix it either, but showed me an alternative way to access my blog, using Microsoft Edge.  (And they didn’t charge me anything for the hour of their time!)

For days I checked if anything changed with my Foxfire access, but still got the strange error message, only when I tried to access my blog site.

This morning, just now, I could access my blog again, to post this paper. 

Yes, fat and happy is a good title for this posting.