What Are You Mad About?

 I was driving to church and stopped at the red traffic light, waiting in the right-turn-only lane.  Then, the cross traffic stopped, and the small right-turn green arrow lit up on the overhead traffic signal.  I could turn now, but the one car in front of me didn’t move.  After a few moments, I tapped my horn.  Then after a few moments more I beeped my horn.  And seeing no reaction, I let out a long beep, as cars behind me also beeped.  Then the main traffic light turned green, and the car finally moved.  It was only a block later that it turned into an apartment complex, but not before the woman driver let down her window and stuck a particular finger in my direction ….

At the time I laughed, dismissing her gesture.  Then my mind wandered to thoughts I had had on previous occasions, about how perhaps I had an emergency which she didn’t know about, or perhaps the car behind me did.  She should have considered that, and not gotten angry.  I thought that maybe I should have followed her and explained this “holy logic” to her.  I could have told her how I now try not to be irritated by slow drivers or tailgaters.  They might be having an emergency, so I try to remember to pray for them.  But I didn’t actually follow her to give her my wisdom.

It took the passing of a day, and some readings and reflections on how Jesus loved, that I saw those prior stop light events differently.  It was something I’ve noted before as being very important, but when it happened again to me, I didn’t remember that importance.

Whenever I am irritated, it is Satan winning a battle for control of my life.  He leads me to take actions which imply I am saying “I am important but you, or even God, not so much.”  All my irritations are because I am not getting something or some way I want.  Jesus’ call for love was a total GIVING of self.  All my irritations are about me not GETTING my way.

I pondered that a bit, and then thought again about that woman’s hand gesture.  Yes, perhaps she was stating a truth; I AM getting f….., but I was doing it to myself..  If she were a woman of faith, she might well have asked me: “What are you getting mad about?  Anger at others is a form of self-love that we were commanded by Jesus not to have.”  And she would have been right, and I would have been humbled.  And then I recalled how Jesus had once put into my heart His reaction to the Pharisees or Scribes who belittled Him, or even those who crucified Him; and in reaction I heard Him say: “But I loved them anyway.”

I hope that woman prayed for me.