What Are You Mad About?

 I was driving to church and stopped at the red traffic light, waiting in the right-turn-only lane.  Then, the cross traffic stopped, and the small right-turn green arrow lit up on the overhead traffic signal.  I could turn now, but the one car in front of me didn’t move.  After a few moments, I tapped my horn.  Then after a few moments more I beeped my horn.  And seeing no reaction, I let out a long beep, as cars behind me also beeped.  Then the main traffic light turned green, and the car finally moved.  It was only a block later that it turned into an apartment complex, but not before the woman driver let down her window and stuck a particular finger in my direction ….

At the time I laughed, dismissing her gesture.  Then my mind wandered to thoughts I had had on previous occasions, about how perhaps I had an emergency which she didn’t know about, or perhaps the car behind me did.  She should have considered that, and not gotten angry.  I thought that maybe I should have followed her and explained this “holy logic” to her.  I could have told her how I now try not to be irritated by slow drivers or tailgaters.  They might be having an emergency, so I try to remember to pray for them.  But I didn’t actually follow her to give her my wisdom.

It took the passing of a day, and some readings and reflections on how Jesus loved, that I saw those prior stop light events differently.  It was something I’ve noted before as being very important, but when it happened again to me, I didn’t remember that importance.

Whenever I am irritated, it is Satan winning a battle for control of my life.  He leads me to take actions which imply I am saying “I am important but you, or even God, not so much.”  All my irritations are because I am not getting something or some way I want.  Jesus’ call for love was a total GIVING of self.  All my irritations are about me not GETTING my way.

I pondered that a bit, and then thought again about that woman’s hand gesture.  Yes, perhaps she was stating a truth; I AM getting f….., but I was doing it to myself..  If she were a woman of faith, she might well have asked me: “What are you getting mad about?  Anger at others is a form of self-love that we were commanded by Jesus not to have.”  And she would have been right, and I would have been humbled.  And then I recalled how Jesus had once put into my heart His reaction to the Pharisees or Scribes who belittled Him, or even those who crucified Him; and in reaction I heard Him say: “But I loved them anyway.”

I hope that woman prayed for me.

Let The Lord Enter

 The men’s Bible study group this morning just happened to reach the Gospel of John, Chapter 6, in our weekly discussions.  That chapter is one of the key foundations of my Catholic faith, but I didn’t bring that point up to the Protestant men.  I’m sure they knew, but our discussions avoid most doctrinal focus.  We meet not to convert one another, but to let God teach us and change our hearts, as He wills.

“Whoever sees the Son and believes in Him shall have eternal life.”

The Jews were asking for another miracle, but the Bible Study guys agreed, this morning, that even if that had happened, it likely would not have changed the Jews’ minds or hearts, not to the totally new message Jesus was bringing.  They just could not bring themselves to accept what He was saying.  His message did not have human proofs, it was about accepting that He was God, and accepting God’s message preached through Jesus.  That acceptance is not brought about based on human senses, like the sight Him or of His miracles, but by spiritual acceptance of God’s graces.  God loves us all, but each has to choose to accept the graces of that love, not look for proofs of it.  The Gospel of John talks about believing IN HIM, not the things they see Him do.  Believing in Him is believing He is God, and believing in the things He says, even if they don’t understand them.  “You have the words of eternal life,” as Peter said, even though He didn’t fully understand Jesus’ message either.  He trusted.

At mass later this morning, the morning Responsorial Psalm was “Let the Lord enter; He is the King of Glory.”  Those words are saying we must choose to let Him enter into our hearts.  When Mary said “yes” to the archangel Gabriel, she was agreeing to let the Lord enter, “and she was conceived of the Holy Spirit.”  And her whole life changed.

That is what Jesus was calling the Jews to do, accept His message, and totally change their lives, but they could not let God’s graces into their hearts and accept Jesus’ message because they lacked humility.  Humility is key to accepting God and all that He says.  “We can’t see it; we can’t prove it” is what our human minds think, but it’s not a matter of interpretation with our human minds or senses.  In our very being, we are called to accept His Being.  He is I AM; He is God.

When we were baptized, we began our growth in humility.  In Baptism, it is not the water we see which is cleaning us; it is only a sign, even as Jesus’ miracles were.  Baptism and the words we said then was the start of our acceptance of God.  Made in His image, we started to become as He is in His Being.

Later at mass this morning, we prayed prayers of petition.  Our response to each petition was: “Come, Lord Jesus.”

We need to let Him in.

Mary said “Yes, come Lord Jesus,” and He came into her physical and spiritual being.  And nine months later, at Christmas, Jesus entered our physical world.  Will we celebrate His coming by saying: “Come Lord Jesus, enter into my heart?” Or will we be focused on all the things we see and hear around us?  

Review: The Father

This book’s author, Fr. Mark Mary Ames, is a member of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, the order started by Fr. Benedict Groeschel, a favorite author of mine.  The order lives and is based in the slums of the Bronx, New York.  (I liked how Fr. Groeschel once said: “I hope I die and go to Purgatory; it will be a step up from the Bronx.)
The Father is a book made up of 30 short meditations which relate events in the lives of the friars, the people they serve, and/or to fathers of families.  The meditations are meant “to draw you into the heart of God,” The Father.  And that, they most surely do.  The events described show human examples of love.  God The Father, however, IS LOVE, itself, and any human actions are only pale imitations, but the examples Fr. Ames relates will touch your heart, and yes, thereby draw you into the heart of God.
Humans can, and should WILL TO love, with the “agape” type of love that Jesus commands of us, a love that is a total giving of self, of forgetting self.  With this type of love, yes, you can will to love the most irritating or disgusting of people.  Relative to the people who did not understand Him, Jesus once said, “but I loved them anyway.”  But the love of God the Father (which the human Jesus had) is more than just a willed love; it is a love which comes from His Heart, His very BEING.  And that is the love we were created, in the image and likeness of God, to grow into, to grow to be more like Him our entire lives.
Looking back over the pages of this great book, I am surprised at the few underlines I made of the text.  I guess that makes sense though; it is not a sentence or simple thought which struck me as I read, but the heart of Love that was in the totality of the words.  
I did underline, however, these two important sentences.  Each is part of a chapter’s closing prayer, which in some ways summarized my heart after reading that chapter.  The first prayer I underlined ends with:

    
    May I pour myself out in love of You and love of my brothers and sisters with great generosity.  I ask this in Jesus' name.

 
And then there’s this second underlined prayer quote.  It is the last sentence of the last page of the book, which I happened to read before mass this morning, as I sat in line for confession:

May the depths you were willing to go in pursuit of me move my heart to gratitude, but also to contrition and repentance for times I have doubted or rejected your love for me.  Help me to receive the gift of your pursuit of me.  I ask this in Jesus' name.
     

Amen.