I read the reflections in the book The Better Part on the Gospel for the Friday after Easter. The Gospel was John 21:1-14, about Jesus (after His Resurrection) appearing on the shore and calling out to Peter and others who had just spent the night fishing and caught nothing. He said to cast their net over the side, which Peter did, and they caught a huge amount of fish.
The reflection on this Gospel notes that 3 years earlier, when Peter first met Jesus, a similar situation occurred, but not before Peter argued some with Jesus about their catching nothing. This time, however, Peter just tossed the net out; it was a Peter who was much less prideful than the earlier one. (It’s also the same Peter who had denied Jesus 3 times after he said he’d never do that.) These reflections in The Better Part humbled me:
“Christ only asks one thing from us, our trust…. Humility is the hardest but most necessary lesson that every Christian apostle has to learn. Many times, we wonder why God permits so many hardships and failures in our lives. Many times he does so because it’s the only way we will learn that we are limited, that we are not God. If we work hard and then throw our out nets wherever Christ tells us to, he will surely never leave us empty-handed.”
“Jesus: Begin again as many times as necessary…. Begin again in your efforts to follow me, to be like me, to build my Kingdom, in your attempts to repair broken relationships, to succeed where you have already failed, to form virtue where you have vice --- in all these things, you will need to begin again. And though it may seem that you are starting from scratch each time, as it seemed to Peter, you’re not. Each time you trust me after a failure, all the important virtues (humility, faith, hope, love) are stronger.
If ever you feel discouraged when you should just be dusting yourself off and beginning again, I can guarantee that your discouragement doesn’t come from me. I came not to condemn, but to save. My love for you doesn’t depend on your impeccability--- in fact, it doesn’t depend on anything. My love for you is total, a waterfall that never stops flowing. You can always begin again.”
“I have to be honest, Lord: humility is a mystery to me. I keep thinking I’m humble, mainly because I see so many people who are more arrogant or vain than I am, but then you remind me that I’m not really humble yet. Make me humble! Give me the docility I need so that I can give you a chance to fill my nets with hundreds of fish! Please do, Lord, all I long for is to be your faithful and fruitful apostle.
How can I help feeling discouraged? Lord, I will never give in to discouragement again. Maybe I can’t help feeling the emotion, but when I do, you will remind me that it doesn’t come from you, that with you I can always begin again, and that you can bring good even out of the worst failures, the worst evils. Thy will be done, Lord; I trust in you ….”
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I will be thinking and praying about those reflections for many days. Peter was made head of Christ’s church on earth, despite all his failures and lack of humility. But he didn’t give up; and he trusted in God. How often when things are not going my way do I rant and rave, rather than trust? “How can I help feeling discouraged?” I will remember those words, and your promise.
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