While I have these (and many more) regrets over things I chose to do, I feel much more agonizing regrets over things I would NEVER have chosen to do --- but I did them anyway. I did those things not as chosen actions, but instinctive re-actions, actions of my heart. These reactions showed who I really was, not who I wanted to be. And God reads the heart. I deeply regret my poor reactions and my being the man I was --- and in many ways still am. How I wish I could change my heart, and my reactions:
How I wish I would have no future regrets, such as these.