Re: Jn 21:1-14, when
Jesus appears to the fisherman after His Resurrection:
Christ The Teacher
During Christ’s passion, Peter had
wavered in his trust. Now Jesus gives
him a chance to renew it. And Peter is
ready to trust more, because he has experienced his own weakness and so has
grown in humility. At the beginning of
Peter’s discipleship, he resisted the Lord’s entreaty to throw out his net
after a fishless night. Now, after the
Resurrection, Peter voices no objection to the stranger’s suggestion, even
though Peter was an expert fisherman and the hour for catching fish had
passed. But he is docile. He has grown in humility. Humility is the hardest but most necessary
lesson that every Christian apostle has to learn. Many times, we wonder why God permits so many
hardships and failures in our lives.
Many times, he does so because it’s the only way we will learn that we
are limited, that we are not God.
Substantial humility is the habitual and joyful awareness that we are
utterly dependent on God for all things, from the most sublime to the most
mundane. Jesus knew where the fish were;
Peter didn’t. Jesus still knows where
the fish are; we don’t. We need to trust
in him and in the (people) he chooses to use.
If we work hard doing all we can and then throw out our nets wherever
Christ tells us to, he will surely never leave us empty-handed.
The Better Part, Meditation 302
This life-long task of growing in humility, growing more
like Jesus and less like self-centered, is the hardest of all the virtues we
must achieve. To give up our control of events,
to accept that we are not the real experts of ANYTHING --- even when men tell
us we are --- is truly a life-long challenge.
Even Peter, as the author of the Better Part says so well, “is ready to
trust more… has grown in humility.”
He is still not perfect, but he is getting better.
So must we.
One of the underpinnings to growing in humility is an
increasing awareness that God exists and He exists as part of our life. When we made decisions about our life, He too
is affected. I vividly remember my
conversion experience at Medjugorje, when I first firmly knew that God existed
in this world. I previously believed the
truths of the Catholic Church and His presence in the Eucharist, but after
Medjugorje I increasingly saw His actions --- actions only God could do --- in
the lives of the saints, and then most gradually, but with conviction, in my
life. And I let my life become less mine
and more His.
I was reminded by a friend tonight of one of my many steps
along the way: music. I always liked music, virtually everyone does. Music is an expression of beauty, just as art
is, and its rhythms resonate within us.
At a certain point, the words of Christian music seemed to jump out of
the instrumental rhythm to me, and began to have a rhythm of their own. They began to touch my soul. I remember listening to Christian music
stations, and buying many CDs for that one song on each which echoed the
yearnings of my heart. Singing with
them, they began to reflect my prayer to God.
Prayer was no longer just something I did, it became a thing of beauty,
a personal conversation with God. It
went from a focus about me and “what I want” to a sharing with a friend. In opening myself up like that, although I
didn’t know it at the time, I was growing in humility. I was letting God in.
As you grow in humility, you can begin to trust God
more. Peter tossed out the net to where
he knew there were no fish. He did
things he felt called by God to do, even if he couldn’t see a good outcome from
his actions. He trusted. He loved.
It’s hard to face difficulties in this life not knowing why
they are happening, but it does get easier --- I’ve seen this to be true --- as
you persevere and grow in humility, in trust, and in love. At Pentecost the disciples were suddenly filled
with an awareness of the Holy Spirit.
For most of us, however, this is a gradual awakening. Until then, try to enjoy the music and sing
alone, and hold His hand.
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