You Can Start Over

The gospel today is John 21:1-14, where the risen Jesus tells Peter, after a night of catching nothing, Throw the net out the starboard and you’ll find something.  “So they dropped the net and there were so many fish they could not haul it in.”  The meditations I read on this gospel (#302 from The Better Part) noted what had happened three years earlier (Lk 5:1-11) in a similar situation.  Then Jesus had also asked Peter to put out his net, but Peter resisted: “Master, we worked hard all night long and caught nothing.”  Then the meditations I was reading continued:

“Christ only asks one thing from us: our trust.  If we trust him he will fill our nets.  If we trust him we will have everything we need to fulfill our life’s mission.  During Christ’s passion, Peter had wavered in his trust, now Jesus gives him a chance to renew it.  And Peter is ready to trust more, because he has experienced his own weakness and so has grown in humility.

Humility is the hardest but most necessary lesson that every Christian apostle has to learn.  Many times, we wonder why God permits so many hardships and failures in our lives.  Many times he does so because it’s the only way we will learn that we are limited, that we are not God.  Substantial humility is the habitual and joyful awareness that we are utterly dependent on God for all things, from the most sublime to the most mundane.  If we work hard doing all we can and then throw out our nets wherever Christ tells us to, he will surely never leave us empty-handed.

Jesus:  Begin again, as many times as necessary.   With me, you can always begin again.  The world doesn’t let you do this.  Other people often don’t let you.  With them, once you fail, it’s over.  But with me, you can always begin again. Peter needed to begin again.  How much this pleased me!  Begin again in your efforts to follow me, to be like me, to build my Kingdom, in your attempts to repair broken relationships, to succeed where you have already failed, to form virtue where you have vice --- in all these things you will need to begin again a thousand times.  And though it may seem that you are starting from scratch each time, as it seemed to Peter, you’re not.  Each time you look at me, each time you hear my voice, each time you trust me after a failure, all the important virtues, humility, faith, hope, love, are stronger.

If ever you feel discouraged when you should just be dusting yourself off and beginning again, I can guarantee that your discouragement doesn’t come from me.  I came not to condemn, but to save.  My love for you doesn’t depend on your impeccability --- in fact, it doesn’t depend on anything.  My love for you is total, a waterfall that never stops flowing.  You can always begin again.

Prayer:  I have to be honest, Lord, humility is a mystery to me.  I keep thinking I’m humble, mainly because I see so many people who are more arrogant or vain than I am, but then you remind me that I’m not really humble yet.  Make me humble!  Give me the docility I need so that I can give you a chance to fill my nets with hundreds of fish!  Please do, Lord; all I long for is to be your faithful and fruitful apostle.

How can I help feeling discouraged?  Lord, I will never give in to discouragement again.  Maybe I can’t help feeling the emotion, but when I do, you will remind me that it doesn’t come from you, that with you I can always begin again, and that you can bring good even out of the worst failures, the worst evils.  Thy will be done, Lord; I trust in you.”

I perceive in my own reflections that this time in the world is an opportunity for us to grow in humility.  All of mankind’s knowledge, all of our knowledge, and where are we at?  We sit with empty nets.  Jesus taught us the ways to reach eternal life, but we are so focused on this life.  And for all our focus, where are we at?  Empty nets.

Yesterday I reflected on my Joyous Rosary Mysteries, how Jesus is asking for us to listen for His will, and our resolve to do it, no matter how hard.  Perhaps if we pray, if we listen, He’ll tell us --- again --- where to toss our nets anew.

You can start over.  Only remember this: Jesus wasn’t giving Peter a net full of fish to sell for a bunch of money.  He was reminding him, he --- and we --- are to be fishers of men.  Our lives should not just be focused on earthly success.  Jesus showed us the road to eternal success.  He DID say it is a hard road to follow, but He also reminds us here:  you can start over.

He is giving us this time for a reason.  Think on it.  Pray on it.

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A few days ago my grass was green and growing long, my daffodils and hyacinths were blooming everywhere.  My trees were full of buds, and my magnolia out front was full of large buds waiting to open.

Now I look out my kitchen window as I type this, the heavy snow is falling, and sits about a half inch deep on the deck.  No green to be seen there, no flowers, no buds.  I guess nature will have to start over.