Appreciation Time

There was some time available between the EWTN morning mass today and the rosary which follows, so they aired a 5-minute talk between a husband and wife.  The talk was about a habit they had begun to improve their marriage.  They discussed what they called Daily Appreciation, a deliberate thing they do each day which makes their marriage better. 

What they described could be applied to any relationship. 

It seems to me that there are two things which are common to most relationships: 1) You expect the other person to be nice to you (it is what people are supposed to do), and perhaps you even say thanks to them on some occasions, and 2) If they are not nice to you, you let them know it, and perhaps get angry.  In subsequent days, you tend to forget (1), but may recall (2) for years.  It’s just the way most of us are --- unless we take deliberate actions to change, as that husband and wife did.

The husband and wife, this morning on EWTN, spoke of their daily appreciation time as a time they talk to each other at the end of each day --- and they never forget.  Even if it’s for only five minutes, each tells the other acts they did which were appreciated that day --- big things, little things, or routine things --- and how that act impacted them, and why they noticed it.  They said when they first began the appreciation time, they were often surprised that something they said or did so impacted their spouse.  “I didn’t know that mattered so much to you.”  Deliberately voicing the good things, they saw in their spouse, strengthened their marriage --- it was talking about acts of love which usually are taken for granted, as marriages grow cold --- but they didn’t want that to happen.

Friendships work that way, too.  Do you have a picture, a trinket, or a memory you treasure?  When was the last time you told the person who gave that to you how much you continue to treasure their gift?  What about something good you’ve done --- and forgotten about?  Isn’t it a treasure to be reminded of how much that little thing you did made a difference in someone’s life – a reminder that your life is important?  I recall the Jimmy Stewart movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, which is often aired around Christmas.  In it, an angel shows Jimmy what the world would look like if he’d never been born, how many people he impacted that he never thought of, and how many lives were saved because of something he had said or done.  He sees that the world would be a much sadder place if he had not been born, to do the “little” things he did.

Daily Appreciation is a good habit to begin in a marriage, and among friends.  I was reminded yesterday of a charity I had a tiny hand in creating a long time ago.  It’s an orphanage in the Philippines for street kids, kids who once ate garbage and drank from mud puddles, and had no one.  My friend personally saw that situation there and, despite being from Jackson Michigan, began an orphanage there across the ocean.  It is now rated one of the best in the country.  I had forgotten about them until I was sent a short video by my friend of the orphanage choir (which sings at a local church every Sunday) which was created to entertain some officials in their country.  Their beautiful, innocent singing made me cry, thinking that these are the kids who once were alone, and once drank from mud puddles, and now they were singing so beautifully; they too are now making a difference in the world.  How could I have forgotten that?

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Sitting and thinking on these things this morning, I happened to glance at the end table and noticed a couple of trinkets there.  I treasure them.  And then I realized I haven’t mentioned them to the giver in years.  One is just some hearts, appropriate to think of near Valentine’s Day, and the other a bird pond (in which I keep a rosary) with two glass birds watching over it.  On the three glass heart figures are the words:

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

 

How easy we forget to tell others how much they mean to us, especially in the little things we treasure. 

Even if it’s only one time, today tell someone why you appreciate some little thing they’ve done.  You will be making a difference in their life, and in yours ----- and in the world.