What Can I Do?

Sometimes we just feel so helpless, unable to do what we wish to do, what we feel we must do --- and we cry.

Don’t you see that just in asking this question, you are doing so much?  “What can I do?  What should I have done” --- always wishing I could have done more.  But, how many are there who do nothing; how many don’t worry?  “It’s just the way it is,” they say, or worse: “It’s their fault.”  No, in asking “What can I do” you have truly found the heart of Jesus.

Why can’t you look in the mirror and truly see yourself, what a beautiful person you are?

Jesus came into this world “not to do My will, but the will of our Father.”  He always asked: “What can I do?”  He always acted: “What can I do for another?”  How many in our culture today only ask “What can I do for myself?”  Don’t you see, that when YOU are asking “What can I do,” it is almost always for another?  If you shed tears, be honest with yourself as to what those tears are about, they are not about you --- a failure --- but about you, who isn’t satisfied that you couldn’t have done more then, and that you can’t do more now --- for others.

Isn’t that what Jesus felt?  Isn’t that why He cried?  Why can’t you look in the mirror and see Him there?  He is there, you know, in your heart.  Many a saint said the prayer: “I love You, Lord; help me to love You more.”  Even the saints were not satisfied; they wanted to do more also.

Maybe you think: my mother and my father are cursing each other, hurting each other --- and me --- and through your silent tears you cry aloud: “What can I do?”  Perhaps you are one who sees the children, just babies, starved, abused, unloved, and some literally being torn to pieces: “How could any human being do that?” --- and you sob: “What can I do?”

You look at the ignorant all around you; you look at the hurting and sad; you see those who sin and don’t care, and you want to change them, to help them: “What can I do?”  And it never seems enough.  Look in the mirror and see the truth:  He felt all those things too!  And yet, He didn’t educate the many fools; He didn’t heal everyone.  He didn’t change every sinner’s heart --- but, He loved them all when He asked; “What can I do?”

You look at those suffering, those you love, and you want to do anything; you want to do EVERYTHING!  You would die to end their pain --- and looking back, sometimes you wish you did.  There is so much more you wished you had done.  But listen to yourself: your feeling that you did not do enough, your wanting to die --- that’s what HE did.  It’s what HE did!  By your life, your love, you imitate Him so much, but you can’t BE Him.  He died once and for all, so that you never would.  And He loves you so much; He too asked: “What can I do,” and He did --- for you.

You may think: my parent, my loved one, is dying; what more can be done; where is God when I need Him; there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to fix this --- it is my responsibility; no one else cares, and you look to heaven: “What can I do?”  And you cry at your weakness, your failure.  And you grow angry that you hear no answers. 

You look to me, a friend, with your sorrows, your frustrations, and I find no adequate response to your tears.  “You don’t understand,” you tell me.  And in my heart I agree.  And I too say a prayer to the One Who does understand, Who does care, and I ask Him: “What can I do?”

And He just smiles.

He sees in me, and He sees in you, what He came to give His life for: to teach us to love, to speak up when others are suffering, to ask: “What can I do?”

Look around you, my friend, and be honest.  How many others do you see saying: “What can I do?”  How many more ignore the suffering, the dying, and only know how, first and foremost, to love themselves.  And then look at them very closely and see: for as much as they devote their lives and fortunes to loving themselves, they don’t feel loved.  You ask: “What can I do,” and in asking you cry tears of sadness, but I assure you, my friend, He cries tears of joy, for you.

Because you loved, He will always remember those you love.  He is the one who controls that place as the Master of the House, “where there will be no more sorrow and no more tears,” and where you and those you love will meet in joy with Him.

So go ahead, cry your tears and ask: “What can I do?”  Don’t be satisfied it is enough! --- you can never love enough --- but don’t be sad, my friend, that you fail.  Look honestly in the mirror and see what he sees:  one who won’t stop trying, one of His children.

And perhaps just once in a while, wipe your tears, put on a brave face, and speak to the one you love and say: “You know I love you; I won’t stop trying to show you my love.”  And smile at them.  This is a true way to ease their sorrows, comfort their pains, and help them to bear anything --- because you will always be with them.  Always. 

As He is with you.

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The more our love for God grows, the less we need to ask what to do.  Love answers many questions!
            - -  Thirsting For Prayer, P114 – Jacques Philippe

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I’m so glad, I’m so glad
You’re in my life
To see the world through Your eyes
I thank You, You make me the best I can be,
knowing there is no greater love.
-- From the song No Greater Love, by Eric Genuis

Am I Important? A Reality Check

I am a roaring fire; everyone burns from my heat.
I am a light; others can see where I point the way.
I am but a flame; a small light; little better than the darkness.

I am a LOUD roar; people pay attention to my words.
I am a noise; At least sometimes, I startle people.
I am perhaps a whisper; and I wonder if anyone hears me.

I am an important being; I am unique like no other.
I am a presence; a notable one in the crowd.
I am a faint shadow; some look at me, but only see a reflection of themselves.

I am seen; I stand out tall, and garner attention.
I am felt; like the wind: I can be resisted, but I am there.
I am only thought about, sometimes.

I am gone; perhaps a marker remains; who was he?
I am forgotten; one of thousands of tombstones that no one visits.
Why was I here?

I am here because He loves me, and that makes me feel like the most important man that ever lived.  And I shall not be anxious.

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“Charity is the essence of Christian perfection, for charity alone has the power to unite man to God, his last end.  But for us poor, miserable creatures, whom God wishes to raise to union with Himself, is charity the ultimate basis of the spiritual life?  No.  There is something deeper still which is, so to speak, the basis of charity, and that is humility.  Humility is to charity what the foundation is to a building.”
                  -- Divine Intimacy, Ch 106: Humility, by Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D.

How Easily We Forget

I was reading meditations on the Glorious Mysteries as I began my rosary last night:

The Resurrection:
The sorrows and humility of this life are over.  Now glory!
You knew You could do this.  The guards knew it too.

When suddenly, just like so often happens when reading the Bible, I saw meaning in those words that I had not seen before.  (You can see the full Glorious Mysteries here) 

I always thought of Jesus as having perfect humility, as the first line of the meditation says, but the second line notes that Jesus KNEW the Resurrection would happen, and in their hearts the guards knew (and feared) it too!  He knew He was God and would rise from the dead --- as He foretold to others, but most certainly NOT in a manner as I would have done. 

I recalled the thoughts that I have had in recent days about all the things I had planned and had done in my life, and also those things I wanted to do but sometimes others prevented me, because others did not believe I could do them or did not believe I knew the truth of matters.  And I recalled my anger at their reactions, and my pride raising its ugly head.

Looking at those meditation lines again, I saw something more there:  JESUS HAD NO PRIDE!!  He knew He was God.  He knew He would rise from the dead.  If ever a man had reason for pride, had reason to shout from the rooftops, “Look at ME!  Look at My Wisdom! Look at My Truth!  Look at all I have done, and look what I plan to do!”  If ever a man had reason to shout in pride, this Man did.  I know certainly would have.

And yet it was only I, as I can so readily recall, who in fact DID so often shout: “Why won’t you listen to me?”  It was only I, with my small pitiful ideas who shouted: “Listen to my wisdom!  Hear me!”   

And reading the meditations yet again, I see that Wisdom Itself had shouted nothing.

I have prayed (and strongly recommended you pray) that Litany for Humility.  It is a prayer which has helped me much, and I feel ever more sincere in praying it.  But I see now, tonight, that so often I prayed this prayer in a one-sided manner.  I prayed to act humbly:  “This is what I want, and this is what I will (humbly) do for You.”  I prayed to act virtuously, but I did not pray as Jesus would have prayed.  My prayer was about my chosen actions, actions I chose willingly.  I think Jesus would have prayed not for just those things He chose willingly, but also for those things He chose unwillingly.  “This is also what I want, but what I will NOT do, for You.”  The first prayer is to obtain virtue; the second is to forego the tempting vice.  I pray to gain humility, but in the fullness of the prayer, I should pray to lose pride.  Not my will, but Thy will be done, is true humility.  That is why that Litany prayer is so good; it prays for my acceptance of things I do not want.  Jesus accepted even death, humbly, and without pride He also accepted the Resurrection.

I have many plaques which decorate my mantle, and awards which adorn my bookcases and walls.  These are monuments to my pride, and I set them in places of honor.  How sad.  Better, I think, if I were to list all my failures and highlight those, hanging those “monuments” to my lack of humility.  Those are the reminders I really need.

I think on all Jesus did, and how little reward He received.  When they laid the palms in front of Him as He rode into Jerusalem, do you think He kept some of them and put them in a place of honor?  When the blind man dropped his cane because he now could see, do you think Jesus kept it?  That first cup of water changed into wine, do you think it held a special place on Jesus’ mantle?  I think not.

Jesus lacked pride.  Not only did He have humility, but He lacked pride.  When I pray to gain one, I need to pray to lose the other.

The good things which I have accomplished in my life were accomplished with the grace of God, with His help and for His purposes, not mine.  If I seek to honor the good things I did, I must remember He was with me then.  And those bad things I did, my failures which I so easily forget, those are the things which I ALONE accomplished.

I read a couple of more lines at the end of that Rosary meditation, which also gained a new focus for me this night:

Help me to glorify You in my life.
Help me to make You part of my life.

How easily we forget.  The good that we have accomplished, was never done alone.

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At mass this morning, the priest said just a few words:  “During Lent, you will often hear it said that you must put on a new mind.  We find that thinking about God during our day is difficult, our schedules are full.  St. Benedict said that as we begin the next task on our busy schedule we should say: ‘Lord, bless this task I am about to begin; bring it to completion.’  A simple prayer can open our mind to the Lord, and make Him part of our day.  I encourage you all to put on a new mind, this Lent.”

His words were a reminder that the good we accomplish, we never do alone.

Investing For The Long Haul

A local station broadcasts a financial adviser’s radio show on Sunday mornings.  I never (until this morning) quite saw the implications the timing of the show, which I listen to on my way to Sunday mass.  “Make money; make money; make money,” is not perhaps the best message to hear --- before I try to kneel in humility before my God.    

This morning I heard the radio adviser quote from a recently released study of mutual fund performances.  He sounded almost giddy as he said the study showed that Faith-Based Mutual Funds underperformed the average fund, by about 20%.  “Twenty percent!” he screamed into the microphone.   “Look, why don’t you invest your money in the average funds and then take those extra profits and give them to the poor ---if you are so inclined,” he said. 

And I smiled.

And then, of course, I turned off his show and the God show began as I attended mass, and there in the Gospel I heard these words: “Get away, Satan!”

And thinking back on the financial adviser’s message, I smiled again.

When I heard the financial adviser’s words this morning about the performance of Faith-Based Funds, I interpreted the results he shared somewhat differently than he did.  Rather than avoiding such funds, I now thought: “I must make sure I invest some money in these funds.” Accepting the slightly smaller returns is a small price to pay to “walk the talk,” to give public witness to my faith.  The financial adviser spoke as if money were everything, and the only thing.  By his “logic” of how I should live my faith, I could become a prostitute or a contract killer to earn more money, so that then I could give the excess to the poor.  Or perhaps I should invest in pornography or the slave trade, to earn more money for the poor.  His logic would say that I should sin and “enjoy life,” and then confess my sins at the end.  By my witness, he would have me worry more about me, FIRST, and then perhaps my neighbor.

The adviser concluded his rant this morning by saying that “we must invest for the long haul.”  I would reply to him that what we need to invest for is the REAL long haul --- and so I shall.

And then perhaps I will see him at some point at the end, and then we’ll compare the returns on our investments.  If he’s there.