A Limit on Hugs?

The host of the late-night radio talk show was commenting about a politician being sued for “abusive hugs.”  It was how long they lasted, what body parts touched, and where the hands were --- all commented upon as having limits.  “Three seconds is a proper limit --- one, two, three, let go,” the host said.  And he commented that priests, camp counselors and teachers have learned the rule: “You don’t hug children.”

And it made me sad.

We teach children to expect no loving actions from adults; “you must love yourself, and what you want.  Be wary of adults loving you.”  We allow and encourage pornography of all kinds, then seem surprised and object when anyone acts that way.  We make all these things visible in the public arena, and imply you can do them --- but not in public.

All this detailed “what you can do in public” reminds me of the Pharisees’ rules for the Sabbath; they were concerned about rules, not actions done in love.  Today’s Gospel (Jn 5:1-18) is about the man ill thirty-eight years, who waits at Bathzatha for healing in the pool.  But, “he was a lonely man.  He didn’t have any friend or family member who could help him down to the pool after the stirring of the waters” (The Better Part #252).  This was a man who no one hugged, until Jesus came along.  And a miracle happened.

In Divine Intimacy I read (#130): “O holy, sanctifying will of my God, I want to love You above everyone else; I want to embrace You at every moment of my life.”  --- with no time limits.

This past week I hugged a lonely, smelly poor woman; a stranger asked to hug me in the adoration chapel, and a friend greeted me with a hug.  And there was no time limit, no worry about proper body positioning; there was love, even as Jesus had shown to the man at the pool.

Even as this society creates more rules requiring you to be alone, I yearn for heaven where I know I will never be alone.  And yet --- I will not give up on this world.  I will seek out the lonely and let them know they are not alone, and I will seek out and form like-minded groups, to go out and share Jesus’ love.

And I’ll give hugs, and look forward to receiving them from the old and from the young.  And I will see and feel Jesus in every one.