Normal Anxieties -- Part II

The other day I wrote that it’s OK to be normal, and part of normal was sometimes being anxious. Picking up from Dr. Laura’s advice, I thought I had something worth sharing with you. What I wrote was incomplete. Dr. Laura’s five minutes of advice, which I summed up, were not worth five minutes of your reading. I saw that three events in my day were related, and then I reasoned, led by Dr. Laura’s reasoning, their relationship. I never gave it much deep thought; and never much asked God what He thought about my answer. He’s since shown me better.

I had a restless night that evening. For some reason, what I wrote came to mind. Although it all made sense, it seemed simple, too simple. It seemed as if I had just written down events of my day, and not something to meditate upon. I do not write this blog to tell you what happened in my day – I’m sure you think it boring enough without me getting into that. As I tossed and turned and the clock ticked on, I asked God “Why am I so restless tonight; did I miss something You said?” Then I recalled a line from Augustine: “You have made us for Yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in You” (Confessions, Book I, Chapter 1). This famous line sums up Augustine’s whole teaching on man’s relationship to God. And I forgot it. I saw a relationship between the events in my day, and let a radio talk show host lead me to reason a solution to what I saw. I did. Alone. But I am not alone, and that is the REAL reason for not worrying about the events of my life, for not dwelling on anxieties. I don’t dwell on them because they are “normal”, but because I have faith in the words and promises of Jesus: He cares for the littlest things in this world; why wouldn’t He care for me? There’s no need to be anxious if we put our faith in Him. Our heart is restless until it rests in You.

I picked up Confessions and read some more of Augustine’s wonderful thoughts, including these:
Too late have I loved you, O Beauty so ancient and so new, too late have I loved you! Behold, you were within me, while I was outside; it was there that I sought you, and, a deformed creature, rushed headlong upon these things of beauty which you have made. You were with me, but I was not with you. They kept me far from you, these fair things which, if they were not in you, would not exist at all. You have called me, and have cried out, and have shattered my deafness. You have blazed forth with light, and have shone upon me, and you have put my blindness to flight! You have sent forth fragrance, and I have drawn in my breath, and I pant after you. I have tasted you, and I hunger and thirst after you. You have touched me, and I have burned for your peace. (Book 10, Chapter 27)

Certainly too late in my life I have found Jesus, and I also found Him too late in my considerations of what I wrote that day. After considering these things, I laid back down in bed and found peace, and was soon fast asleep. Delete from your mind, my readers, the words I previously wrote about what is normal; they didn’t go far enough. I didn’t read far enough; I didn’t think far enough; I didn’t ask God enough what He wanted me to say when I saw others’ anxieties before me.

The truth regarding anxiety is not simply as Dr Laura puts it, that anxiety is normal and Ok. Anxiety is normal and Ok BECAUSE, as Augustine reminds us, Jesus exists. It’s Ok to have normal anxieties and worries because Jesus said if we have just a little faith, in Him, all will be well. If we let our hearts rest in Him, we will not be restless anymore.

Lesson learned, Lord. I’ll try and be better. I’ll try and have faith – and act like I do.

I hope you too have a deep faith, my friends. And you are not like me (or Augustine), letting much of life pass by before I found my rest in the promises of Jesus. He waited a long time for me, to welcome His prodigal son home. I thought I knew what life and happiness were, but I had no idea until I put my trust in Him. I’ve written much in these posts about the way to Him, about the sadness of being alone without Him. He’s waiting, waiting for you too.