Living and Letting

There come times in our lives when we are uneasy, when we perceive God has some plan for us, and we become anxious:  What is it?  Myself, over the years I’ve often struck out at such times, I mean I felt compelled to move forward, but often, looking back I’ve seen I’ve struck out all right, as in strike three!  And I’ve realized that my anxiety had led me to do SOMETHING, when I should have waited for clearer direction, or just trusted, period.

It’s hard to trust in God, sometimes.

It’s one thing when we perceive God has some plan for us, and we try to understand.  I have become sensitive to the fact that sometimes I see my plans blocked --- I’ve even run into roadblocks on the highway! --- and I’ve learned to stop my plan and pray:  Lord, do You have some other plan for me this day?  And often by praying, and looking, I see better ways, better uses of my time.

It’s another thing, however, when we perceive that God has some plan for someone else; our paths have crossed and we are confident God has put this person in our life or a reason.  I ask this question of God for each person who crosses my path each day:  Why him; why now?  Is there something You wish me to do?  Is there something I should learn from this encounter?  Was I Your presence to him, Lord?

And He gives me answers, I am sure --- but sometimes I don’t understand.  And especially if I perceive He wishes me to help (to love in some way) that person, I sometimes don’t understand how.  And I fear I might fail Him.  For He trusts me, too.

In Father John Riccardo’s latest book (a great one) he gives the example of a large football stadium full of loud cheering fans.  They are not playing the gave on the field, but they hope to influence the players and the outcome of the game by their loud cheers.  Father John notes that we are the players on the field of life, and our departed loved ones and the saints are in the stands of heaven, cheering us on, praying for our victory.  That analogy gives me comfort.  Sometimes, however, it seems I didn’t hear the play He called, and after the snap a play seems to be happening, and I wonder what I should do.  Do I run with the ball, pass, or handoff?  What do I do, because I know I must do something, now!

I think one thing I often forget, in the crowd noise, in the expectations (and recommendations) of my teammates, and even with all my training:  I often forget that at any point, despite all the pressure, I can call a time out.  I can go back to the coach and ask Him to repeat the play called for me, to make sure I understand it, because I know it is important I get it right before I proceed.

Especially when I see someone I know God wishes me to love --- the poor person, the sick one, the despairing one --- which He has so clearly put in MY path, I want to run the play, to do SOMETHING to help.  To love them.  But sometimes when we seek clarity for what we should do, the answer is: nothing.  We need to let them (and us) go on living, as is.  Sometimes we need to let God do the major work, to carry the ball in His way.  It’s not all up to us.  We are not the only player in the game of our life, or theirs.  And sometimes we need to sit quietly and wait, and let someone else be the star of this play.

Humility is hard, which is why we must pray for it often, and then trust.  We live our life as best we can, with God’s help, and sometimes it means letting go of our worries.  That is what trust is all about.