Review: Becoming an Ordinary Mystic

This book is a waste of time.  I needed to read this book.  That about summarizes my perceptions of Fr. Albert Haase’s words, and the sequence in which he presented them.

He began by writing about living in the present moment, and self-awareness and humility.  I had some underlines in the text of my book, but yadda, yadda, yadda dominated my thoughts as I ultimately underlined nothing in Chapter 6, and wondered if I should move on to a more challenging, interesting book.  Then I read Chapter 7 titled:  Groping in the Dark; Walking by Faith Not Sight. 

He spoke there of his 10-year mission in China, and then how the government found out and he had to leave, “an end to my forty-five-year-old dream of being a missionary to China.”  Afterward, for years he accepted assignments in the United States, but hung onto old friends, foods, and thoughts of China.  “I clung to my past self-image.”  Then he mentioned his disappointments in a talk he gave, and a woman responded: “Father, after hearing your story, I couldn’t help but think, with all the traveling and preaching that you do, you’re still very much a missionary --- but not in a foreign land.  You’re a missionary to your own country!”  And he was taken aback, “and a new light dawned upon me.  I was born again as mystery (God’s word he wouldn’t/couldn’t hear) blossomed into meaning.”

Fr. Albert Haase ended that chapter with Thomas Merton’s prayer:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.  I do not see
the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will
end.  Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am
following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please
you.  And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.  I hope
that I will never do anything apart from that desire.  And I know
that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may
know nothing about it.  Therefore, I will trust you always though
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.  I will not fear,
for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me
to face my perils alone.

And then I began to see the value of this book, and specifically I saw the remaining chapters in a new light, of mystery unfolding, of explaining my life.  And there were lots of underlines!

If you are impatient (like me), you may want to start this book on Chapter 7, but I’m not sure if you will have missed something critical, even if fleeting, in the earlier chapters.  They’re kind of like my life, when I really don’t understand why things are happening in it, and I can’t perceive God’s presence.  It seems kind of like yadda, yadda, yadda.

But it isn’t.