How to Teach Your Children, in Love

“And consider the patience of our Lord as salvation…”
 -- 2Pt 3:15

The Friday Morning Men’s Bible Study group often turns to personal examples to clarify Scripture’s meaning.  This morning, we gave examples of how simple Christian witness can change lives more readily than preaching words.  One man commented how a friend asked for a cup at the fast food place, but filled it with pop --- and the Bible Study guy mentioned it to him.  Another told how he doesn’t join in when the guys’ conversation on the golf course starts getting vulgar or cursing.  And for their small witness, they saw that they were noticed, and remembered.  There are many small ways all of us can witness our Christian faith by our actions, and so change lives.

I took the conversation a step further.  Getting back to the Bible passage we were studying (above), I noted that our public witness to others helps them know who we are, but it is our private witness that lets God know who we are.  If we don’t curse aloud, but say it in our mind, God hears.  If we tell others that prayer is important but don’t take time to pray, God knows.  What it all comes down to is the concept of sin --- something our culture pretends doesn’t exist.  Sin is not just something we do, but it refers to who our action offends --- God.  When we see someone stealing or cursing and comment on the action, what we are really saying is that “you have sinned against me, and who I am.”  In more loving words, what we are saying to the other person is: “You disappoint me.”  And for people who cherish our love and respect, that is a powerful statement.  When God says “You disappoint Me” to our hearts, we want to change, to stop sinning against Him, because we want His love and respect.

For parents, the same words, “You disappoint me”, can be a powerful tool to encourage our kids to change, without having to do any scolding or preaching to them.  And those words are a tool most parents have forgotten how to use, but we can follow the example of God, and help our children see those words in our patience, in love, with their sinful actions, and yet exhibit our encouragement for them to change, for their salvation.

Quoting “Honor thy father and mother” doesn’t get kids to change anymore; many young adults don’t respect God or His words.  They were taught otherwise in schools, by their friends, and by the culture at large.  But they still respect us as their parents; they still want our love.  When we see our kids sinning, not going to church, getting caught up in pornography, or abusing themselves with drugs or sex, talking to them of God often is often easily dismissed or even held against us, breaking off loving communications.  But “You disappoint me” may teach them that they are not just sinning against a God they no longer respect, but against us.  And like the Bible Study guys’ witness by their actions, it may be the teaching which goes to their heart.