Who Am I?

The second batch of green beans came in from my garden, and I went downstairs to get the steaming pot to prepare them for freezing.  While looking on the shelves, I noticed a dust-covered, unopened case of Mason jars --- 1976 Bi-centennial commemoratives.  Out of curiosity, I went online to see if they had any value, and saw individual used jars for sale.  I briefly thought of auctioning them, but decided to give them to a neighbor for his weekly garage sales.  But my curiosity was aroused.

Digging through many other basement items --- and tossing most --- I found a few antique plates that will also garage sale.  And then I saw the large package wrapped in dirty plastic leaning against the basement wall.  They were art drawings (“modern” art) by my ex-brother-in-law.  Now dead, he had lived as an artist in Brooklyn.  Beginning with paintings and drawings, then carving stone statues and wood (one custom-made cabinet carving for a movie star was featured in a magazine) and finally gizmo art --- mechanical devices which represented scientific or philosophical ideas.  Reading online about some of his later work was interesting.  One of his pieces was bought by a friend of George Soros at a considerable price.  Among New York’s art elites, he had some degree of recognition.  And of course, I then wondered if the drawings I had were of any value.  I spent some hours researching and talking to art auction experts, and concluded that their value, if any, was not certain, and self-auctioning on Etsy would entail more time and effort than I was willing to give.  So, this morning I gave the drawings to a nice old man at a local antique store, who said he had some customers who were from New York, who might be interested.  If they sold, I said, make a donation to charity.  And I was done with it.

But I still had thoughts about it, which were distracting me.  And then I read today’s Morning Prayer Hymn:

Lord, how your wonders are displayed,
Where e’er I turn my eye:
If I survey the ground I tread,
Or gaze upon the sky!

There’s not a plant or flower below,
But makes your glories known,
And clouds arise, and tempests blow,
By order of your throne,
While all that borrows life from thee
Is ever in they care,
And everywhere that man can be
You, God, are present there

.

Those words brought some sense and focus to my mind’s wanderings.  For a few days, I was fascinated with a man’s life, and how he had gone from drawing what he saw to drawing what things made him feel (the “modern” art) to creating 3-dimentional images of it to creating mechanical devices, art which moved to illustrate his thoughts on reality and how he was part of it.  The works DID make you think, which is what the artist intended.  But, after reading the Morning Hymn, I saw a deeper reality than the artist did.  The man intended his art to display his being, who he was in relation to the universe, and what he thought.  Nice, but God was not mentioned or displayed in his thoughts about reality.  His answer to “Who am I?” seemed to be displayed in physical art, and --- at best --- philosophical representations.  I did not see God displayed in that reality.  The artist had once described his religion to me as “Utilitarian,” which could describe a stone doorstop. 

While all that borrows life from thee
Is ever in thy care,
And everywhere that man CAN be,
You, God, are present there.

Who am I?  I am an earthly life borrowed from God, who created it.  And like the Master Artist, he watches over His work (none is ever stored in the basement).  And then the grand summation: “You, God, are present there” --- always, for I am a spiritual life also.  His creation is not on display, He is part of it, and always will be.  If we display who we are, starting with our thoughts, we miss the real starting point, and no explanation of who we are is complete without that.

Not to judge anyone, but I felt a little sad for anyone deeply concerned about the “what” of himself and his relation to reality, without ever and more deeply, pondering the “why”.

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Of course, my morning didn’t stop there.  I listened to Bishop Barron’s Sunday sermon online.  He said how Paul had gone to Athens and engaged the Athenians in philosophical discussion, which greatly interested them, for discussion purposes only.  No church grew there.  But when Paul went to Corinth, he preached Christ Crucified, and the Church was established there, and quickly grew.  And Paul never preached in philosophical terms again.  You cannot explain who we are and why we are here without explaining why God came and died for us.