Forgiveness: We Get; We Give

Let us never assume that if we live good lives we will be without sin; our lives should be praised only when we continue to beg for pardon. But men are hopeless creatures, and the less they concentrate on their own sins, the more interested they become in the sins of others. They seek to criticize, not to correct. Unable to excuse themselves, they are ready to accuse others.
-- From a sermon by Saint Augustine, bishop

We have only to look at the news to see that Augustine's words from 400AD apply equally well today. A governor confesses adultery, and asks for pardon for failing his spouse, family, and the public trust. The word "sin" isn't politically correct as it was in Augustine's day, so we speak of hypocrisy, liar, and those who could benefit seek ways to advance themselves: "they seek to criticize, not to correct".

I'm reminded of the Parable of the Prodigal Son. The first son goes off and wastes all his money, then comes home to the father, asking for forgiveness -- and not really expecting it. But he gets it -- and then some. The second son, who stayed home doing all the father asked of him resents the first son's return and his forgiveness, and seeks to gain from the first's sins: "What! Father, why aren't you throwing a party for me, who has served you so well!"

Parables were told by Jesus for us to be able to understand big truths. In understanding them, we are invited to put ourselves in the shoes of the characters in the parable -- ALL of them. We can see the adulterous governor in the First Son, and can see many of his critics (especially the politicians) in the second son -- and perhaps we can easily put ourselves in either's shoes. But what about the other character in the parable: the father? We are supposed to learn from his actions in the parable also. We are to learn to act as he did also, especially in relation to those close to us, important in our lives, like our spouse, our children, our friends, and perhaps even sometimes our neighbors and those who come into our lives for a short period of time.

The father in the parable forgives those who have hurt him deeply, even those whom he loves very much, even after they betrayed him. The father loves those who stayed with him, and treats them well -- yet sometimes he needs to remind himself that they need to hear words or actions of his love: they need to know they are loved, ALWAYS -- even if they too should sin. This is the lesson we need to come away with from the Parable of the Prodigal Son: We need to try (although we are all far from perfect)to imitate the loving father, the parable and the example Jesus set for us, in our relations with our spouses, our families, our co-workers (even that pointy-haired boss), and our neighbors. And even the governor we hear about on the news. Let's try to not let our first reaction to be one of hate or revenge or gossip, but of understanding, forgiveness, and love.

Will this attitude result in us sometimes getting "taken"? Of course! Sometimes the spouse will be filled with hate or anger and toss our words and actions back in our face. The kids will swear at us out loud (or in silence). And the neighbor may find a way to take us to court, or call us a fool. The tale of the Prodigal Son, or the Loving Father, shows us how to act in a loving, forgiving way. Even if those loved or forgiven don't understand. The actions of the father in the Prodigal Son parable are hard for us to imitate, but don't forget the other words of Jesus which put it in more blunt terms: How often should we forgive? Even as much "as seventy times seven".

Being forgiving or understanding of another's weakness isn't easy. Perhaps that's why a father was chosen to illustrate the problem: just ask any father of a teen-ager. I'm sure they get the parable.

I don't know if YOU get this; it is difficult for me. But I know that unlike Augustine's words, you are not "hopeless creatures". I have hope for you!