Will You Hurry Up, Already?!

How often have I said those words in the past, or at least thought them? So many times I have felt: “I have more important things to do!!” And now I hear supposedly intelligent men in Congress saying: “I don’t have time to read that …” -- and I think of them as fools. As I look at these anxieties of mine, and those of others, I think there is something to be learned here. Something important.

Since “I’m more important” (insert smile here), I’ll talk about my anxieties first. I schedule things in my life. Whether next day, next week, or next month, I have some things scheduled. And if things aren’t on a written schedule they’re on an unwritten schedule, the things I want to accomplish. My mom’s caregiver leads a much less “scheduled” life. Her “plans” might be about what she’s doing tomorrow – and that might change at the last minute. To some degree, she has more anxieties than I do, as her last minute plans change continuously. But because at any time she has a significantly smaller number of things scheduled, her overall anxieties are less, and perhaps that is a good thing. There is one thing, however, which IS definitely better with her way of doing things: by living in the near term, she can prioritize something before she does it. So often once something gets on my schedule, I have to do it, and I give it no further consideration. That’s what often leads to my “Will You Hurry Up Already” reactions; “I have more important things to do”. But in truth, the first “Hurry up” is just a reflex reaction, and the second statement about “more important things” is just an assumption – because I have it scheduled, it must be more important. I really don’t know that the assumption of importance is true; I rarely think about it. And that’s the problem.

The root of the issue is: How important am I; how important are MY plans? I have an underlying presumption that I am important. Maybe that’s because of a position I hold: I am a senator; I am a representative; I am a manager; I am a coach; I am the head of the household, I’m a priest. My position says I am important, right? Wrong! Your position says you have responsibilities. Your position in life isn’t about you having to do things, but about your having to do things right. That is your responsibility, to do things right. So if your self-defined self-importance has you rushing to schedule and do all sorts of things relating to your position, but you do not do whatever it takes to ensure that you do those things right, you are failing at your position. If you don’t take time to consider what is right, you fail as a senator, you fail as a representative, you fail as a manager, you fail as a coach, you fail as the head of your household, and you fail as a priest. You fail.

And what good is that for you, or those who you are in a position over?

Ahhhh. That was something new that slipped in, something that we had not previously said, but assumed. In our position, we are over some one. We are in some way responsible for someone else, besides ourselves. Why do we get so angry over interruptions, changes or challenges to our plans? Because they affect OUR plans – versus any responsibilities for those we are over. If we change but one word, the picture becomes clearer: it is not our responsibility FOR those we are over, but our responsibility TO those we are over. Now things are crystal clear: In living out our roles in life, where is our higher priority, what can get us angry, changes which impact US or THEM?

I know what my priority is every time I think “Will you hurry up already?!” There is only one priority at that time: me. And as I noted earlier, it’s just a reflex reaction, and reflects a priority I so easily believe: I’m more important than you. (sigh)

So how do I get past this reflex reaction of Pride (yup, that’s the word for it)? I think the first thing is to humbly state a truth: we’re in our positions in life for a reason, often because we were appointed because in fact we are better than some other people in some way: more knowledgeable, wiser, or perhaps for some positions, holier. And we were placed in our position, with a responsibility TO those who placed us there, to use our “better-ness” in the right way. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s using our God-given talents in Godly ways. The Pride comes when we ignore or belittle those to whom we are responsible. We think or act more important than them, not in just the particular way they acknowledged we are better than them, but in ALL ways. The politician who thinks the voter is never right (unless agreeing with him), the manager who thinks his employees’ ideas are useless (unless agreeing with him), the husband who thinks his wife’s ideas are stupid (unless agreeing with him), or even the parent who thinks his teen-ager never has a “grown-up” idea (unless agreeing with him). The person who wants to hang up when a friend calls to talk about their anxieties in the middle of the night. All of these, all of us, so often act with a reflexive Pride that “I’m more important than you”. And what is most sad, is that every time we act in such a manner, we are viewed as that much LESS important. We take ourselves down a notch in the eyes of those who look up to us. And if our actions continue, soon they look DOWN to us.

There are many things to consider in fighting Pride, written in Scripture or the words of the saints. One of the most important, I believe, is something I’ve only occasionally seen written: You show the most love and respect for someone when you give them your time, the most precious thing you have to give, because you can never get it back. When you give time to your kids, to listen to their arguments, when you give time to your employees to listen to their complaints or suggestions, when you give time to your job to make sure you do it right (like taking the time to read a bill before you vote on it) all these things show respect for the ones you are responsible TO. Everyone is instilled with the gifts of the Holy Spirit; everyone has a value to mankind. Acting like they do have importance works to conquer your Pride. It’s not a complete answer to quelling our ego, but it’s a start.

Give time to your responsibilities and those you are responsible to, then do what your talents indicate is best, and you will grow in respect. You won’t need a self-generated Pride to inflate your worth; your worth will be increased in the eyes of those around you. Whether you act important in your actions or not, you will be thought of as important. Give respect and you will get it. Give love and you will get it. Give time.

I took the time to write this. Will you take the time to meditate on it? Thinking about ways to be more humble – if for no one else, I suspect it will help you grow in respect in God’s eyes.

(Smile) Or do you think you are more important than Him, too?