On Love

I saw a commercial on television the other day where a cute little puppy was bringing its favorite toy and giving it to its master. And the man said: “For me? You don’t have to give Mr Squeeky to me; you’ll want him some time.” It was an “Awwwwwwwwwww” moment, as we saw the tender love the dog had for its master; it was willing to give away its favorite thing to him. And we heard the master’s loving response.


Mom’s live-in caregiver is gone for a few days again, and I spent the last night on mom’s sofa. Waking up early as usual, I left for mass and was a bit anxious about leaving her alone, even for a short while.

As I prayed at church, I asked for God for his love and care for those in my life who were in particular need of Him -- those suffering in any way -- that He would comfort them and ease their pains and, that if he chose me to help in his work for them, to guide my ways. Then I thought about mom, and I prayed: “And dear Lord, please care for my mom while I am away. If she calls out my name, please YOU answer and give her comfort, and ease her anxieties. I trust in you, Lord. And when that time comes where she calls out my name a final time, whether I am there or not, please Lord, you be there to give her final, eternal comfort. I trust in You.”

It came to me then that in my words I was voicing not just a Trust in the Lord, but a Love. I loved him so much I would trust him with my dearest possession, my mom. I love him so much, I would give him anything dear to me, anything I possess.

And then I looked up at the cross.

As I was thinking of what I would give to him, I saw what he gave to me. As I was voicing my trust in him, he showed me his trust in me. I’ve spoken before that a real Love is one that gives, but this trust aspect is an underlying reason of WHY we love. We choose to give love to someone because we think they are “worth it”. We give to them because we trust in them. And we give them the most precious, the most personal things we have to give. We give to them ourselves, our very lives, and we trust they will hold it precious.

Our culture broadly doesn’t understand this definition of love. It equates love with something we get, not something we give. We get someone who says “I love you” back, we get great sex, or we get someone who will help us with our goals and who will raise our children. And that explains why when we no longer get those things, we think love is gone. And with it goes our happiness. We are a society of much unhappiness because we believe we are much unloved. Because we are not getting what we want, because we are not getting what, many believe, we deserve. We are not getting the THINGS which make us happy.

Many people absorb this cultural definition of love as getting THINGS into how they act in their lives. They believe they show love to others by giving THINGS. So a government which gives jobs or medical care or money to the poor is a wonderful way of showing love to those people.

A government cannot love! A government does not have a heart! You cannot pay someone, whether a government or a person, to love for you. Love is what YOU give to another person. You give.

In the puppy commercial where the dog gave its toy to the owner, we know the owner didn’t really want the toy. He wasn’t getting any THING he wanted, or needed. Yet we know that the owner was moved by the dog’s gift and its TRUST in him. The owner knew THAT was why the dog gave. If we can see and understand a love like that from an animal in a commercial, why can’t we see a love like that as appropriate for ourselves? Why can’t we love – and trust – that way? Why can’t we give ourselves a big feeling of “Awwwww” in reaction to our own love?

Jesus spoke of the love we are describing often. He described it as the love of a father. He used it to describe God’s love of us. He knew we could understand this analogy. We could understand a father’s gentle holding of his child and loving him, and willingness to do anything for him, and trusting he that he was worth it. And the child? We could understand the child’s love, and willingness to do anything for the father, and trusting that he was worth it. That is an example of a true loving, mutual loving, relationship. And if one or the other should fail in some way, there would always be that underlying love and trust. Faults could be forgiven, intentions were always assumed to be for the best – even if not always understood. Their separate lives might take them apart, but in love, they’d always be together.

That is how a father gives love. That is how a child gives love. That IS love.

That’s the love we are supposed to imitate in our lives. Love is not what we GET out of it, it’s what we choose to GIVE, because we trust someone, because someone is “worth it”. God showed us how to love someone, even to the giving of his life.

We think of someone we love as being someone special, and that is true. It’s important to remember though, who Jesus gave his life for. Us. He knew that we were special. Each one of us. Even you.

(Pause)

Good afternoon! While I was typing, I heard that small, still, almost unheard voice calling to me, and so I listened.

It was mom. When I went into her room she smiled and said: “I’ve been calling you. I got troubles.” When I asked her what, she said: “I think I wet the bed.” That was a bit of an understatement. So we got her up for breakfast, changed the bedding, did the laundry, watched some tv together (and read the paper), and even went outside on the swing for a bit. Then, with a big yawn, she said: “I think it’s time for a nap”. And so I’m back to this writing.

Let’s see, I was talking about what love is – and isn’t. I think I could go on and on, but I’ve probably written enough. It’s time for YOU to think.

Relative to what you are giving, and what you are getting, how are your love relationships? Relative to trust and “deserving it”, how are the ones you love – and the ones who love you? Do they “deserve” to be loved? Do you? Before you do too much thinking here, remember: Jesus KNEW that each one of us deserves to be loved. He KNEW. Do you think you know more than him?? Is what you are GETTING (or not) clouding your judgment of love?

Don’t let the culture define who you can or should love, or how you should love. Don’t let it define your worth, or anyone else’s.

Jesus already set the definition of your value – and he died for it.

(And I just wrote this silly blog :-) )


I hope you are having a good day!