The Adjectives Matter

Give us a deep faith,
A steadfast hope,
A burning love for our Lord.
From a Prayer to the Apostle Paul

Of late, I have noticed a strange thing in my relations with God: the lead has reversed in our conversations. It used to be that I read something or heard something and then my heart heard it in a new way, Scripture was opened anew for me, and I heard God’s voice, to me in particular, and then I meditated on what I heard and considered it. Sometimes I wrote of those musings here. Lately, however, I have noticed a reversal of order: I prayed or considered things and some of them seemed to have a new deeper meaning, and I debated whether I should do something about my thoughts --- perhaps even sharing them with you, but then I often reflected: But these are just my thoughts, my opinions, how valuable can they be? Later, after these things, I then read or heard things which repeated and confirmed the thoughts of my musings. The words came after my musings, confirming them, rather than being the inspiration for them. Things were reversed. I don’t know what to make of this change in communication with God; perhaps this is a good thing? I wonder.

This morning as I entered the church and knelt I prayed” “Lord, bless our day.” Then I sat and thought: Am I assuming too much casualness in my relationship with God? Do I assume His friendship? Has it become not special, but taken for granted? Then, as the priest began mass he spoke about the readings of the day and said: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” And I realized that my earlier thoughts were not without purpose, and then throughout the day I thought more on my relationship with God, and others.

Throughout my life my relationship with God has gone from knowing of Him, to respecting and sometimes adoring Him, to knowing Who He is in relation to me, to having a real relationship with Him and considering Him not only my God but my closest friend, to ….? Where has it gone to now? Has it gone to a casualness, an assumption that He’ll always be there --- no matter what --- so much so that I often ignore Him? Has it gone from trying to follow Him to assuming that He is following me? And then I thought of other friends, once good friends, who I had treated in a similar way. And now they’re gone.

I thought about friends and relationships in general. Is there someone you have come to take for granted in your life? The spouse who once so enthralled you; is your “I love you” now said casually, if at all? Are words to your children just directions of what to do, with no meaning of WHY it and that they matter TO YOU? Simple words like “I love you” or even “Please” can keep a relationship close, but how you say and feel and act as you say those words are important: the adjectives matter, greatly.

Look at the words of Paul I started with: A deep faith is not just some memorized facts, but facts with importance. A steadfast hope is not one which will easily fade away. And a burning love? That word, burning, says this is no casual love, it says it is a consuming love – and one which needs to be and WILL BE constantly fed, and kept bright. All real love is that way, if we want it to last. You need to constantly add fuel, stoke the embers, or you may find that the fires have gone out. This morning the priest asked in his short homily: “Do you pray enough? Does anyone?” And I wondered: can you pray too much?? Can it become too assuming, too casual? Is there a sense of ignoring there, despite your words? Can you say “I love you” too much in the same way? Would it be better to not say it at all --- but act it instead?

In my English classes we used to diagram sentences, and we were told that an adjective modifies a noun. Having lived many years, I think I would now describe it better by saying that an adjective focuses a noun; it makes it precise and therefore shows it is more important. The noun is not just a casual thing. A burning love. In our close relationships with people and with God, our adjectives are sometimes said but more often they are shown in the actions we take toward them. Adjectives are important words, but they matter only if THEY, the receivers of our words, know the adjectives come from our heart. Our adjectives convey that THEY, and only THEY, are the real focus of our nouns. We need to ensure that we stay focused on those near to us, my friends, or else we cannot really give them our love, the most important gift we have to give and the thing they most need to receive --- from us, really from us and not from some casual stranger nearby. It needs to be focused on them, and they need to know it.

When was the last time you put an adjective to your love, focused your love? For you married ones, why not spend some time or money this weekend to physically express your love, flowers or a movie or even just some non-casual, focused time together. Show your love; show them they are special. And what about your relationship with God? Time in an adoration chapel with Him will be time well-spent, or even better what about time for a well-thought-out confession? Confession can be a deep talk with Him, admitting that things may have gotten too casual, too assuming, and a commitment that things will be different. It can be a renewal --- or a start --- of a close relationship. It can put things in focus.

And what of the ones who are perhaps most prone to letting their relationships with God grow too casual, the ones who had the closest, most focused relationships to start: priests. Dear fathers, do you raise the Host at the Consecration and recite the prayers with casualness and without meaning: raise the Host, pray, lower it --- just one constant, repetitive motion, AGAIN today, without thought? And do we, my friends, receive our very Lord’s body, for Him to be intimately with us, hearing the words: “Body of Christ,” and respond with “Amen,” while really meaning: “Amen – again,” as in: boring? The adjectives matter, my friends; but regardless of what we say about things our feelings are conveyed by the adjectives of how we act about them, how important we show them to be. Do our actions convey “you are of no importance” to our spouse, our children, or to our God? I speak from experience my friends, if your actions do and they continue to do so, you will find yourself alone.

We should want our relationship with God, our walking with Him leading, to always be like that of the disciples on the Road to Emmaus --- full of wonderment, always interesting. We should want our conversation and time with Him to be a thing of joy, and He a friend we never want to go away. We shouldn’t treat Him (or any friend) like the ass which goes along behind us, carrying our load.

Show me one who loves; he knows what I mean. Show me one who is full of longing, one who is hungry, one who is a pilgrim and suffering from thirst in the desert of this world, eager for the fountain in the homeland of eternity; show me someone like that, and he knows what I mean. But if I speak to someone without feeling, he does not understand what I am saying.
From a treatise on John by Saint Augustine, bishop.