Peter's Betrayal

As I prayed the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary tonight, I reflected on some meditations I had written long ago.

While Carrying of the Cross: I remember Peter’s betrayal. He is not here.

I have a number of friends and relatives whom I expect will always be there if I call. Were I sick or in great pain, I think they would drop everything and come running. But when the deepest pains of my life occurred, I didn’t call --- I didn’t want to “bother” them. Perhaps in the back of my mind, I worried: “What if I should call, and they didn’t come?” Then I’d feel even worse.

In His time of agony Jesus didn’t call to His friends either; He knew they were already aware of His plight. And they didn’t come. No one came forward to defend Him at His “trial”; and later they didn’t offer to help carry His cross. Not even Peter, who actually betrayed Him. Not even Peter. How sad and forlorn must Jesus have felt, when the one He was counting on most, failed Him.

The ones Jesus expected weren’t there, but then, then others were. Other friends came forward and offered prayers, and consolations --- and tears. He heard them and saw them, and from them He gained hope for His ordained journey.

I thank the Father for giving me friends, help for the journey.

I’ve had some heavy crosses in my life, when I chose to not call friends for help, but it seems that other friends always appeared for me also --- and sometimes even strangers. The caring nurse in the hospital, the co-worker who asked in sympathy: “Are you having a bad day? Can I help?”, and the stranger who saw my tears in Church, and briefly put a hand on my shoulder. All these were friends, friends given and sent to me when I needed them, by my Father. (And let me never forget, Lord, that the friend that I so often needed, I am to be he to others.) Even as I bear some small part of Jesus’ cross in my crosses, I’m glad I’m able to share some of His consolations, received from friends, but really gifts from Our Father.

I always had doubts, but they were in me, not in You, Father. Never You.

My meditations on the agonies of Jesus, and of my own life, ended with The Crucifixion. He died, as I shall one day die. And even as I share in His agonies of the journey, I’ll share in His end. But I know the real ending doesn’t stop there. If I had any doubts as to whether it is all worth it, He proved them wrong. He proved that death isn’t the end, but the beginning. And just as I found during my journeys, the end will bring a sharing, with old friends, and new ones, and with Our Father. Despite my present pains, I look forward to that day.

In my sorrow, I see the never-ending Joy arrive. I trust in You.

I hope these thoughts in some small way give you consolation, my friends. Sometimes in our sorrows we feel all alone. We’re not. Our Father sends you friends, and even strangers (like me). Do not be anxious. All will end well.

May the Lord answer in time of trial;
May the name of Jacob’s God protect you.
-- Ps 20